Suddenly Yours
Page 19
Except it had never felt that way. Sure, when he’d first seen Cody, he quickly dismissed him, but then he got to know him. After that, everything had been so easy—too easy. Did Cody work Julian’s last nerve? Hell, he jumped up and down on every single one of his nerves, and he did it with absolute glee.
Julian had never wanted to strangle him because of it. Hell, he never even got upset. Cody made him laugh. He made Julian into a man he didn’t even recognize, and while that had terrified him in DC, it no longer seemed as scary. In fact, he missed it.
He longed for it.
He loved the life they lived together because he—
“Oh my God.”
Adria chuckled on the phone. “You finally see it. Don’t you?”
“I-I think I do.”
“FUCK, man.” Mando strolled into Cody’s apartment, carrying a six-pack of beer and covering his nose. “This place smells like ass. When was the last time you took a shower?”
Why had Cody called his best friends again? Oh yeah, he’d been looking for comfort and understanding. When was he going to learn?
“Why do you always have to be such a dick?” Sam snagged the beer from Mando’s grasp before colliding shoulders with him. The move caused Mando to stumble over a pile of boxes and crash onto the carpet.
“What the fuck?” He gazed up from the floor while everyone else laughed.
Brett held out his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Serves you right.”
“What? I was just stating the obvious. Do you not smell that shit?”
Sam sniffed before heading into the kitchen, making himself at home like he always did. “The only piece of shit I smell is you.”
Mando flipped him off while his friends broke out into laughter.
Before long, the four of them, each with a beer in hand, sat around Cody’s small kitchen table, drinking. Cody felt better already.
“So it’s over?” Sam asked after they had done the usual rounds of getting caught up on each other’s lives.
Cody took a swig of his beer and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Damn, man. I’m sorry.” The genuine emotion in Mando’s words caught Cody off guard.
“I’m sorry too,” Brett said over his beer. “I saw the way he looked at you in Vegas.”
“What do you mean?”
Brett shrugged. “I know you two got drunk and woke up married, but the way he went all googly-eyed for you on the dance floor, well, I just kinda thought there was something real there.”
Yeah. Cody had too. “Well, I made it out to be more than it was. It’s not Julian’s fault. He told me what he was looking for up front, and I agreed. I’m the one who screwed up.”
“Fuck that.” Sam’s blue eyes turned into slits. “That fucker played games with you. Every time we talked on the phone while you were in San Diego, you told me how he was acting. That bastard was making you fall in love with him, and when you did, he dropped you like a hot potato. If I ever see him again, I’m gonna make him real sorry.”
Mando and Brett nodded in agreement.
Although Cody didn’t want his friends to hurt Julian in any way, he appreciated their show of support. They might act like assholes most of the time, but they had his back. They always had.
“So are you really going to wait until after the reelection to get a divorce?”
Cody didn’t even want to think about that. Yeah, it was over, but talking about the legal end of their marriage made his skin crawl. “Yup. I told him I would.”
Brett scowled. “You don’t owe him shit.”
“Damn straight,” Mando agreed. “But he does owe you. He’s rich, right? You should make him pay through the nose for the hell he put you through.”
“No.” His words came out stronger than he meant. “That’s not the kind of man I am.”
His friends’ silence told him they understood. Taking Julian to the cleaners would be what his mother would do, and he was definitely not Linda Hayes.
“Here’s what we should do.” Sam finished off his beer before opening another. “After we finish these drinks, I say we go to one of your clubs.”
Mando groaned. “What? No. Not again. The last time I was there, I didn’t get hit on once.”
“Have you forgotten you’re straight?” Cody asked with a chuckle. It was the first time he’d laughed in too many days.
“So? A guy likes to know he’s got options.”
Brett rolled his eyes. “He hasn’t forgotten he’s straight. He’s forgotten that he’s married.”
“I have not. I love Valerie.” Mando poked Brett in the chest. “I just don’t want to sit there and watch those gay boys fawn all over you again. It was fucking embarrassing sitting there like a wallflower while you assholes were getting hit on left and right.”
Brett jutted out his chin. “It’s not my fault I appeal to both men and women. The only person who gives you the time of day is your wife.”
Mando flipped Brett off.
Sam cleared his throat. “Can we focus, please? We’re here for our brother Cody, not to show Mando how unappealing he is to both genders.”
Mando got up from the table and stormed into the kitchen to get a snack. “Fuck all of you.”
“So like I was saying,” Sam continued, completely ignoring Mando, “we head to the clubs and find you a consolation prize.”
The idea churned Cody’s stomach. He couldn’t even imagine sleeping with another guy, much less letting some random dude hit on him. “No, thanks. I’m not ready for that. Besides, I’m still a married man.”
“So?” Brett leaned forward on the table. “A good fuck will get you back on your feet. You know we’ll help you score. We always have.”
And that was exactly why they weren’t going within a mile of any of the gay clubs downtown. “No. I’m not there, but I will be. Someday.”
Sam regarded him for a few moments. “I just don’t want you to mope like you did with Phillip.”
Neither did Cody. Getting over Phillip had been tough enough. He had a feeling getting over Julian wasn’t going to be near as easy, which was too ironic for Cody’s taste. He’d fallen so hard for Julian because he believed there was no possible way for him to get hurt. Their relationship was supposed to be about everything but love.
It had blindsided him and gotten by all his usual defenses.
The next time it happened, though, he’d be ready.
Someone knocked on his door, and Cody eyed his friends. “So help me, if any of you hired a stripper, I’m gonna knock the shit out of all of you.”
Mando rubbed his hands together. “A stripper?” He glanced around at Brett and Sam. “Nice. Who ordered one?”
Brett glared at him. “You realize it would be a man, right?”
“So what?” Mando shrugged. “A stripper’s a stripper.”
Sam shot him a blank stare. “Sometimes I wonder about you.”
While his friends argued, Cody went to the front door and opened it.
He couldn’t believe it.
Julian was back.
“WHAT the fuck are you doing here?”
Before Julian could answer, Cody’s friends swarmed around him, hindering his view of Cody. Their snarling lips told him that he should be afraid, but all Julian could focus on was Cody standing behind them.
Cody’s wide eyes communicated his surprise. He clearly believed they’d seen each other for the last time, but how could it be? Every time Julian saw Cody, he soaked up every curve of muscle, every dip of flesh, and every strand of blond hair that fell across his forehead.
That was a sight he planned on experiencing forever.
“I’m here to see Cody.”
“Yeah, well, he doesn’t want to see you.” Sam stepped in front of Cody.
Julian glanced over Sam’s shoulder. “Please, Cody. Just hear me out.”
“Are you deaf?” Mando grasped his shoulder and spun him in his direction. “Get out of here. Now.”
“Let me just say my
piece, and if Cody wants me gone, he’ll never hear from me again.”
Cody’s friends glanced back at him, and with one nod from him, they backed away and let Julian through.
“You can’t keep coming here.” Cody’s eyes were hard, but the slight tremor in his lips spoke volumes. Julian had to fight his desire to take those lips between his teeth and nibble on them. “You have to let me go.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Then say what you have to say and then leave. For good this time.”
Cody’s friends grunted in agreement.
“I’ve tried to let you go. I really have.” He took one step closer to Cody. When he didn’t move, Julian took two more. “When you left San Diego, when you told me that leaving was best for you, I had every intention of leaving you be.”
“Yet you’re here. Again.” Cody crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know what you think is going to change with this visit. I still can’t be the type of husband you want, and you can’t be the type of husband I need.”
He swallowed hard. “You’re wrong.”
“No. I’m not.” Cody closed the distance between them so quickly the move made Julian jump. “You might think you can persuade me into your loveless-marriage agreement again, but you won’t. When will you get it through your thick skull? I don’t want that kind of marriage.”
“And neither do I.” The words flew from his lips, which hadn’t happened to him before. Every word, every syllable he spoke, had always been designed for maximum effect. He spoke to convince others, but this wasn’t the Senate floor. This wasn’t a logical argument he was putting before a skeptical audience. What he felt came from his heart, and he had to trust that it would lead him where he needed to go. “I never wanted to fall in love, Cody. Just as you saw what it did to your mother, I saw what it did to mine. There was no way in hell I was going to put myself through that misery. It was too painful every time I watched her heart shatter, only for her to piece it back together in enough time for my father to break it once again. I balked at the idea of love because it changed people. It made them inferior versions of the people they were before. I didn’t want that for me, but then I met you.”
Cody cocked his head to one side. “Julian, please—”
“You changed me, Cody, in ways I never even thought possible, and it happened so quickly, so seamlessly, that I didn’t even realize it had happened. When I did, I got scared. That’s why I stayed longer in DC, because I realized something when we were watching that stupid soap opera together, and I couldn’t handle it, so I did what I did best. I shut down. I closed off my emotions because that was where I felt safe.”
“And that’s where you should stay. That’s who you are, and I don’t fault you for that.”
“But I fault me for that.” He grabbed Cody’s hands and brought them to his chest. “Being with you broke all the rules I ever made for my life. I became someone different, someone better, someone who can’t live without you. I want you to be my friend, Cody. I want you in my bed every damn day of my life. I want to grow old with you. I want to share my life with you because—” He fell to one knee, slipping Cody’s wedding ring out of his pocket. “Because I love you, and I’m asking you to please, please, be my husband for now and for as long as we both shall live.”
THINGS like this didn’t happen in the real world. They happened on Days all the damn time, but this was real life, his life.
Still, no matter how hard Cody tried, he couldn’t speak. All he could do was stare down at Julian on bended knee, asking him to be his husband, telling him that he loved him.
Wait. Julian loved him? No. He couldn’t have heard that right.
“You what?”
“I love you, Cody Hayes. More than anything in the world. I know it took me a long time to figure that out, and it makes me a complete idiot.”
A loud grunt caught Cody’s attention. Shit. He’d completely forgotten his friends were there. “Um, guys.” He nodded to the door. “Maybe you should go.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Mando complained. “This shit just got good.”
Sam smacked him upside the head and grabbed his forearm. “Come on. Let’s go.”
Brett followed Mando outside. Before closing the door behind him, Sam locked eyes with Julian. “I’ll find you if you screw this up again.”
Julian nodded in agreement as Sam shut the door behind him.
Now that they were alone, Cody gazed down at the brown eyes that looked up at him. The fear he’d seen in them since Julian returned from Vegas had vanished as if it had never been there.
“It’s time for one final round of Truth or Dare. Are you ready?”
Cody fell to his knees in front of Julian. He took his handsome man’s face in his hands, caressing his cheeks, delighting in the wonderful tingling sensation that traveled across his flesh. God, he’d been ready for this moment for too long already. “I am.”
“Will you let me love you? Will you stay my husband?”
He pressed his lips to Julian’s, sinking his body, his heart, his very soul into the kiss. His lips trembled, his body anxious to convey the answer his touch had already delivered.
“Yes,” he said. “A thousand times yes.”
Julian slipped the ring back onto Cody’s finger, a huge smile spanning the length of his face.
“Now it’s my turn.”
Julian’s eyebrows arched over his forehead. “What are you talking about?”
“You said one final round of Truth or Dare. You asked your truth. Now it’s my turn.”
“Okay,” Julian chuckled. “What do you want to know?”
Cody shook his head. “Nope. Mine is a dare. Think you can handle it?”
Julian pressed a kiss to his lips. “I know I can. Give it to me.”
“I dare us both to never take these rings off our fingers ever again.”
Julian wrapped his arms around Cody’s neck and nuzzled into his cheek. “Easiest dare ever.”
And Cody knew that was the truth.
JACOB Z. FLORES lives a double life. During the day, he is a respected college English professor and midlevel administrator. At night and during his summer vacation, he loosens the tie and tosses aside the trendy sports coat to write man on man fiction, where the hardass assessor of freshmen-level composition turns his attention to the firm posteriors and other rigid appendages of the characters in his fictional world.
Summers in Provincetown, Massachusetts, provide Jacob with inspiration for his fiction. The abundance of barely clothed man flesh and daily debauchery stimulates his personal muse. When he isn’t stroking the keyboard, Jacob spends time with his daughter. They both represent a bright blue blip in an otherwise predominantly red swath in south Texas.
Blog: jacobzflores.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/jacob.flores2
Twitter: @JacobZFlores
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