After the Loving

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘No,’ she conceded tightly. ‘But our marriage is over, Raff. I want nothing more to do with you.’

  A nerve pulsed in his jaw, fury glittering in his eyes. ‘Do you have to move out for that?’ he demanded finally.

  Puzzlement darkened her eyes as she looked at him questioningly.

  He gave an impatient shrug. ‘We managed to live together all right the last time we ignored each other’s existence!’

  Bryna shook her head. ‘I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that this time,’ she snapped.

  ‘Why not?’ he rasped.

  ‘Because I don’t trust you,’ she scorned.

  Raff’s mouth tightened. ‘I’m hardly likely to risk the life of my child by upsetting you again!’

  ‘We married because of the baby, we agreed that would be all it was, but you broke your promise almost as soon as we were married,’ she reminded him tautly. ‘I can’t trust you,’ she repeated flatly.

  ‘You can!’ he grated. ‘I give you my word I won’t come near you or try to touch you again. I just want to take care of you. Let me take care of you,’ his voice gentled.

  She didn’t want to do it, she wanted to get as far away from him and his continuous spying on her, but she knew she never would. ‘You said you would stay away from me!’ She looked at him with narrowed eyes.

  ‘I will,’ he agreed heavily. ‘But I have staff at the house who can look after you, make sure that you don’t overdo things. And you know it would only worry your parents if you asked your mother to stay on any longer than she already has.’

  Her parents had both come down as soon as they knew she had been admitted to hospital, but her father had had to return to Scotland after a couple of days. Having convinced both her parents that both she and the baby were fine now, she knew it would only upset them if she left Raff now.

  ‘I don’t even want to see you, Raff,’ she told him coldly. ‘And once the baby is born I’m finding a place of my own.’

  His mouth tightened over the last, but he said nothing, nodding acceptance of her conditions.

  CHAPTER TEN

  SHE had only been back in the house a few days when Kate arrived with her suitcase in her hand.

  Bryna put down the book she was reading to look anxiously at her stepdaughter as she dropped the suitcase down on the floor to run sobbing across the lounge. Bryna opened her arms to the girl, murmuring words of soothing comfort as she stroked the glossy black curls while waiting for the tears to stop.

  Kate finally gave a last shuddering sob and moved back out of Bryna’s arms. She looked so young and vulnerable that Bryna’s heart went out to her.

  ‘What happened?’ she prompted gently.

  Kate shook her head, wiping away the tears with her fingertips. ‘I shouldn’t be worrying you in your condition——’

  ‘My “condition” at the moment is that of being your stand-in mother,’ chided Bryna. ‘I care about you, Kate.’

  ‘I care about you, too,’ the girl gave a watery smile. ‘And I do think of you as my mother, but Paul and I decided you’re too young to have us call you Mum. We thought you could be our big sister instead.’

  Bryna wasn’t upset that Kate and Paul had decided on the latter; the fact that her stepchildren had discussed the possibility of calling her ‘Mum’ and only vetoed it because of her age filled her with a warm glow. ‘Big sisters are for confiding in,’ she encouraged softly.

  Kate grimaced. ‘It’s Brenda!’ she said with feeling.

  Bryna had an idea that it might be, in fact she was surprised Kate had lasted the two months that she had with the other girl. ‘Do you want to tell me about it?’ she prompted lightly.

  Kate stood up restlessly. ‘Why not?’ she said disgustedly. ‘I thought she was my friend,’ her eyes blazed darkly grey. ‘But she isn’t,’ she scorned. ‘She doesn’t know the meaning of the word friendship!’

  The presence of the suitcase, and Kate’s obvious anger, implied that the disagreement between the two girls was serious. ‘Did Brenda do something you disapprove of?’ Bryna probed.

  ‘Oh, I could accept her untidiness, her selfishness, even the men she occasionally had staying overnight with her.’ Kate blushed as she revealed the latter. ‘But I can’t, and I won’t, accept her trying to seduce Roger!’

  It was worse than Bryna had expected, knowing how much Kate liked Roger; her affection for him had been obvious on the occasions he had accompanied Kate to see her over the last ten days.

  ‘Did she succeed?’ Bryna asked reluctantly.

  ‘Of course not!’ Kate defended indignantly. ‘Roger isn’t interested in her, he lo— well, it’s me he likes,’ she amended blushingly. ‘He’s as disgusted by her behaviour as I am.’

  Bryna could imagine that he was, but she had felt the question had to be asked. She was glad, for Kate’s sake, that Roger’s affection was as deep as her own for him. ‘What exactly happened?’ she frowned.

  ‘I was late getting out of my class this evening, and Roger thought I must have already left, and went straight to the flat. I walked in just as Brenda was trying to kiss him while he tried to fight her off!’ Her eyes glittered angrily with remembered outrage. ‘I watched them as he succeeded, wiping the touch of her lips from his mouth with the back of his hand while he told her to stay away from him, that he wasn’t interested. Of course, as soon as Brenda saw me she claimed that Roger had attacked her, but I’d seen them! I packed my case and left. I’ll get the rest of my things later. I just had to get away from there.’ She shuddered.

  ‘And where is Roger now?’

  Kate looked uncomfortable. ‘He wanted to come home with me, but I—I told him I’d see him later. I think I should face Daddy alone,’ she added with obvious reluctance for the idea.

  Bryna’s mouth firmed as she guessed the reason for Kate’s reluctance was that she dreaded the idea of her father saying ‘I told you so’.

  Raff had kept completely to his word this time, spending his evenings in his study, not even bothering to say hello to her when he arrived home at night. And she liked it that way; she couldn’t have even borne a distant politeness from him, feeling about him as she did now. But she was as unsure as Kate about the way he would react to Kate’s news, and she didn’t think the girl should face him alone!

  They both gave a startled jolt as the front door was slammed closed, Kate turning pleadingly to Bryna. ‘That will be him now,’ she grimaced. ‘I think I’ve changed my mind about seeing him alone!’

  Bryna gave a rueful smile. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.’

  They were sitting together on the sofa as Raff strode past the lounge door on the way to his study as he usually did. The same pattern had been followed on the last three evenings, and Bryna had known that he wouldn’t vary his routine. Usually he didn’t even glance into the room he knew she occupied, but tonight he frowned and then stopped, turning slowly, his eyes widening as he saw Kate sitting with Bryna, Kate’s suitcase standing between them and him.

  Bryna looked from father to daughter, Raff’s expression questioning, Kate looking as if she might begin to cry again. ‘Kate has decided to come back home for a while,’ she informed Raff lightly.

  His eyes narrowed, and then he relaxed slightly, strolling into the room, dropping his briefcase down into a chair. ‘That will be nice,’ he murmured. ‘How long can you stay, darling?’ He poured himself a drink as the two women shook their heads at his offer.

  ‘I—er—I——’ Kate looked helplessly at Bryna.

  She gave the girl a reassuring smile. ‘The truth is, Raff, Kate has decided she’d like to move back with us and help keep me company until the baby is born. Isn’t that nice of her?’

  ‘Very,’ he drawled. ‘I’m sure Bryna appreciates your kindness, Kate,’ he told his daughter warmly.

  Kate blushed at the unmerited praise. ‘I—I think I’ll take my things upstairs and change for dinner.’ She gave Bryna a grateful hug before hurrying from the room.
<
br />   Raff sighed as the door closed behind her, suddenly looking weary. ‘What really happened?’

  Bryna sat tensely on the edge of the sofa now that the two of them were alone. This was the first time thay had spoken together since the morning Raff had driven her home from the hospital, the first time she had really looked at him in that time too. If he had looked ill three days ago he looked ten time worse now, his face gaunt, his eyes bruised and sunken, the looseness of his suit telling of his loss of weight.

  ‘Bryna?’ he frowned as he received no answer.

  She drew in a ragged breath, dismissing any feelings of compassion for him that might have reared their silly head. This man was invincible, he needed no one’s pity, least of all hers. ‘Brenda flirted with one man too many,’ she drawled. ‘Roger,’ she explained at his puzzled look.

  ‘Oh,’ he rasped.

  ‘I’m sure Kate intends telling you about it, as soon as she calms down a little,’ she said distantly. ‘At the moment she’s just very disillusioned.’

  ‘About Roger?’

  ‘About Brenda,’ she corrected drily. ‘Roger very firmly repulsed the over-confident Miss Sanders.’

  ‘Thank God for that,’ grimaced Raff, standing close to the fireplace, the warmth the fire emitted not seeming to bother him. ‘I get the feeling Kate is in love with him.’

  Bryna didn’t miss the half-question in his tone. ‘I think you would have to ask Kate about that,’ she evaded.

  He nodded abruptly. ‘Thank you for—well, for being here when she needed someone to talk to.’

  She looked at him searchingly. ‘Why shouldn’t I be?’ she finally answered him. ‘I like both your children, I always have.’

  ‘It’s just their father you can’t stand to have near you!’ Raff swallowed some of the whisky in his glass. ‘You do realise that Kate’s being here will have to change all that?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ she asked warily, her hands clenched.

  He shrugged. ‘We can hardly continue to act as strangers with Kate back in the house.’

  The last three days of peace and sanity faded as she saw the truth of his words. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Kate any further, by letting her see the deterioration of her father’s marriage to Bryna, when she had already suffered such a blow to her trust in people being what they seemed to be. But neither could she pretend this was a happy marriage.

  ‘I’m willing to start taking my meals with you again if it will help,’ she accepted stiffly.

  His mouth tightened. ‘You would do that for Kate but not for me?’

  ‘You aren’t vulnerable the way she is,’ Bryna snapped.

  ‘I’m not?’ he rasped self-derisively. ‘Then why am I clinging on to a wife who’s just waiting for the time she can leave me to be with the man she really loves?’ His eyes were narrowed.

  Bryna gasped. ‘Not Court again!’ she sighed her angry impatience. ‘I haven’t seen him since——’ she broke off as she realised how recently she had seen him, a visit Raff knew nothing about.

  ‘Four days ago,’ Raff put in, softly contradicting that belief. ‘I saw him come into your room that night,’ he explained at her startled look. ‘That was why I came in late,’ he added grimly.

  ‘You told me you’d been to see the doctor——’

  ‘I’d seen him earlier,’ he bit out.

  ‘If you knew Court was in my room with me why didn’t you——?’

  ‘Walk in on the pair of you?’ he finished bitterly. ‘I had no wish to see the two of you together. It was enough that you told me you were leaving me when I did get in to see you!’

  ‘But that had nothing to do with my having seen Court, that was because——’

  ‘Aren’t you going to change, Daddy?’ Kate bounced back into the room, her usual exuberance almost restored. ‘I called Roger from upstairs and invited him over for dinner; he’ll be here in a few minutes.’

  Raff gave one last regretful glance at Bryna before smiling at his daughter. ‘And when can I expect him to ask for my daughter’s hand in marriage?’ he teased her.

  Kate blushed. ‘We’ve already decided that we aren’t going to get married for a couple of years,’ she told him awkwardly.

  ‘I suppose I should be grateful you bothered to tell me even that,’ her father said drily.

  She grinned. ‘I’m determined to wait until the baby is old enough to be either pageboy or bridesmaid!’

  The laughter left Raff’s eyes, although the smile remained on his lips. ‘That may not be for some time,’ he said drily.

  Bryna knew from his expression that he doubted she or the baby would still be here then. But although she might have accepted banishment from his children’s lives as well as his when their affair ended she had no intention of doing that now that she had been his wife and was having Kate’s and Paul’s brother or sister.

  Kate shrugged, unaware of the tension of the adults. ‘We have time. Do hurry up, Daddy,’ she encouraged impatiently. ‘I’m hungry!’

  ‘You always were,’ he shook his head ruefully. ‘Maybe if I tell Roger how much you’re going to cost to keep in food he’ll change his mind about marrying you!’ he teased before going upstairs.

  Kate moved to hug Bryna a second time. ‘Thank you so much for coming to my rescue like that earlier.’

  ‘Your father guessed I wasn’t telling the truth,’ she grimaced.

  ‘I knew he would,’ Kate nodded. ‘I’ll talk to him about it later.’

  For all that Bryna and Raff didn’t exchange more than a couple of words it was a pleasantly lighthearted meal, Roger and Raff getting on just as well as they had in the past; Bryna was sure that when the time did come that Kate would have no difficulty at all in convincing her father of Roger’s worth.

  They returned to the lounge for coffee, Bryna pouring, glad to have something to do with her hands; the meal was a strain for her even if it had passed without incident.

  ‘I’m so glad you and Uncle Court have resolved your differences,’ Kate told her father happily. ‘Whatever they were,’ she added. ‘You needn’t look so surprised, Daddy, I’m well aware of the fact that the two of you haven’t been the best of friends lately.’

  That had to be an understatement, and Bryna looked questioningly at Raff; he hadn’t given the impression earlier that he and Court were friends again.

  He frowned at Kate. ‘I didn’t doubt your astuteness, I merely wondered what had given you the impression our “differences had been resolved”,’ he grated.

  Kate’s pleasure wavered a little. ‘You mean they haven’t?’

  ‘No. Look, Kate,’ he continued soothingly as her expression revealed her dismay. ‘Arguments happen occasionally. We can’t live happily-ever-after all the time——’

  ‘I know that,’ she dismissed scornfully. ‘I just thought—hoped——’

  ‘I don’t know why you thought that,’ he frowned. ‘I haven’t seen Court for a couple of weeks——’

  ‘No, but Stuart has,’ Kate cut in. ‘And the only reason I could think of for him being with Uncle Court was if the two of you were setting up a business deal.’

  Raff’s eyes were narrowed. ‘When did Stuart see Court?’ he enquired quietly.

  Kate shrugged. ‘I saw them together a couple of weeks ago.’

  Bryna had become very still. Court and Stuart Hillier? What possible reason could the two men have to meet if not on Raff’s behalf? The only answer she could find to that made her pale.

  ‘I don’t—Bryna?’ Raff looked at her with concern, coming down on his haunches beside her chair as he grasped her suddenly cold hands in his. ‘Darling, what is it?’

  He sounded so concerned for her. Could it be true? Had she trusted and believed the wrong man?

  ‘Bryna?’ Raff sounded desperate now. ‘Kate, call the doctor——’

  ‘No,’ she managed to choke out. ‘I—I think I’d like to go and lie down for a while.’ She looked at Raff with darkly purple eyes. �
��Would you please help me up the stairs?’

  Pleasure blazed in his eyes before it was quickly brought under control. ‘Of course.’ He stood up to swing her up into his arms.

  She didn’t protest, not altogether sure her legs would support her weight if she had tried to stand up on her own. ‘I’m just tired,’ she assured Kate and Roger wryly as they watched her anxiously.

  Raff gave them what could only be described as a wolfish grin. ‘It’s really just her way of dragging me off to bed to have her wicked way with me!’ he teased, instantly easing their tension. ‘I wish she would realise I’m not going to argue!’

  His teasing had eased the atmosphere of worry, although his expression became grim again as he carried Bryna up to her room, placing her down carefully on the bed. ‘What happened down there?’ he asked gently.

  She closed her eyes a moment, breathing deeply to calm her racing thoughts. She had to be wrong. But did she want to be—didn’t she want all those horrific accusations that were crashing about in her head to be true so that she was free to love Raff again? She knew, no matter how painful it would be if what she suspected were true, that she so much wanted it to be right.

  ‘Raff, who told you about my having an affair with Court?’ She looked at him unblinkingly.

  ‘Bryna——’

  ‘Raff, please answer, this is very important to the future of our marriage.’ She grasped his arm encouragingly.

  ‘The future of …?’ Suddenly he looked as vulnerable as he had claimed to be earlier. ‘Bryna, don’t play games with me!’

  ‘I’m not,’ she shook her head, still feeling ill. ‘But I think someone has been playing a game with us, a sickeningly destructive game!’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ he groaned his impatience.

  ‘Raff, did you ask Stuart Hillier to spy on me?’

  Anger darkened his face. ‘Of course not,’ he rasped. ‘I’ll admit he was the first one to mention seeing you and Court together, but I certainly never asked him to spy on you!’

  ‘Then who did?’ she probed quietly.

  ‘No one did,’ Raff dismissed impatiently. ‘You——’