You've Got To Be Kitten: A Paranormal Women's Fiction Cozy Mystery

by Corrine Winters

  “Alright. Will do. And Ruby…be careful. This apparition has already tried to kill you once.”

  “Oh, your Disco dancing fool is more of a threat than this stubborn idiot. My apparition is just like a cockroach. Every time you try and stomp him out, he appears somewhere else.”

  Ruby ended the call and sighed, looking out the thick glass window at the wrinkled Sound. She missed her aunt and uncle, but it didn’t hurt as much as it used to.

  Maybe it really was time for new beginnings. After all, she’d called for help. Hung out with Trixie.

  I’m becoming downright sociable in my middle years. I’ll have to put a stop to that!

  Eleven

  As a witch, Ruby was well aware of the presence of curses, including those insidious charms which are so expertly woven as to appear innocuous. Thus, she knew for a fact she was not laboring under a curse which would never, ever, allow her to sleep in.

  Yet, as the pounding came at the lighthouse’s door again, she was pushed inexorably through the veil between slumber and wakefulness. Ruby opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling.

  “Why me?”

  She rolled out of bed and slipped into her silk kimono-style robe, wincing as the cold stone floor made her feet ache. Her hands ached as well, and Ruby reminded herself to have the furnace checked out. It didn’t seem to be putting out enough heat.

  “I’m coming, I’m coming,” Ruby grumbled. Years ago Ruckus had installed the new door, which provided optimal protection from crashing ocean waves, but allowed no clear way to see who stood outside banging on it.

  Ruby rolled her eyes when she saw Chief Miller standing there, his thickly muscled frame slumped and dejected.

  “What do you want now? I haven’t done any magic since we last spoke, so don’t get all huffy.”

  John sighed. “Ruby—”

  “Or wait, I know, you must have come by to place me under arrest for Roger’s murder. Everyone thinks I ruined him anyway, right? Who cares if I didn’t actually kill him? Justice must be served for my prior crimes, right?”

  “Ruby, if you’ll—”

  “If I’ll what? Calm down? Is that what you were about to say?”

  John chuckled. “Man, you always had a temper.”

  “You think it’s funny?”

  “No, not funny ha ha. More just…y’know, funny.” John appeared more like his awkward teenage self than he had since Ruby had returned to Fiddler Cove. “What I mean to say was, if you’ll just listen for a moment, I’ve come to apologize.”

  “You have?” Ruby straightened up her posture and felt a flush of color come to her cheeks. “Oh, okay. Apologize for what?”

  “I guess a lot of things. Most of all my attitude since you came back to town. I’m not supposed to let bias creep into my decisions and I’m sorry.”

  “That’s…gratifying to hear,” Ruby said, cocking her eyebrow. “But I was hoping you would apologize for trying to regulate my magic.”

  “I’m here to say I’m sorry for that, too.” John scratched behind his head and stared out at the waves as if he longed to leap into the Sound for a swim. Maybe he was a dolphin shifter? Ruby stared hard at his features but couldn’t see anything overtly Dolphin like about them. “It’s your magic, I’ve got no right to dictate how you use it. Especially when you use it to defend yourself.”

  An annoyed scowl crossed Ruby’s face. “Yeah, your sympathy was a little underwhelming for a public servant.”

  John’s eyes went wide, and he squared up with her. “Now, see here, Ruby. I just knew some mundane thug with a gun was no match for a witch of your caliber. That’s all. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I know better than to worry.”

  Ruby cocked her eyebrow, a half grin coming to her lips. “I’ll take that as the compliment it was intended to be, Chief Miller.”

  “Sorry. Guess I’m only good at talking to folks in an official capacity.”

  John scratched behind his head, and cleared his throat awkwardly. “So, Um…I guess I’ve apologized.”

  “Yes, you have,” Ruby said, unsure of what to do. John seemed reluctant to leave.

  “Hey, Ruby, have you invited the study cop inside for tea, yet, or are you going to stand there with the door open for another hour?” Rumpus called.

  Ruby shot a withering glance at her familiar. John laughed a bit sheepishly.

  “Well, I do like tea.”

  Ruby covered her face with her hand, unable to decide if she felt more awkward than obvious. “I forget. Shifters can understand Familiar speak. I’m going to give Rumpus the benefit of the doubt and assume he forgot, too.”

  She smiled at John, her cheeks burning. “Chief Miller,” she said with drawn out formality “Would you like to stay for tea?”

  John’s easy laugh settled her nerves somewhat. “I’d be delighted.”

  She led him to the kitchen on the third level and put the kettle on. John glanced about at the nautical themed décor, seemingly impressed. “It’s quite nice in here.”

  “Thank you. My aunt and Uncle spruced the place up a lot over the years. They were meaning to install a power platform on the steps. After my aunt died, my Uncle never got around to it, you know?”

  “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks. I think I’m getting to a place where I can deal with it.” Ruby looked up at him and grinned. “I’m just not sure I can ever get to a place where I can deal with Fiddler Cove.”

  “It can’t be as bad as all that,” John said, cocking an eyebrow. “What do you think of the place? Is it everything you remembered?”

  Ruby curled her fingers around the mug, comforted by the warmth as she considered her response. “It’s different, but the same at the same time. I don’t know, it’s just…did you know the Coffee Bean Café is now a new-wave sushi bar? I’m worried the town has lost some of its charm.”

  “Not completely. There’s still the Fryer’s Club Social, the Crab Bake-Off, and Halloween festival. Oh, and we have an event now we call Art on the Boardwalk. It’s getting to be a big deal.”

  “It sounds like you still love the place,” Ruby said, smiling over the steam blurring the air between them.

  “Well, I imagine I do love it,” John shrugged his massive shoulders. “It feels incomplete sometimes, though. Like something important is missing.”

  “Oh?” Ruby enjoyed the way John’s gaze devoured her. Not in a sexual way—though he definitely took opportunities to check out her legs when she got up to retrieve the kettle. Rather, John’s eyes seemed much akin to those of a bibliophile perusing a rare and fascinating tome.

  Usually when a man looked at her with so much focused attention, Ruby knew what they had on their mind. With John, she wasn’t sure what to think.

  One thing was for certain. The silence between them was growing thin and thready.

  “What do you think it is, Chief?”

  John flinched, his eyes losing their far away focus. “What do I think what is?”

  “The missing thing? What makes Fiddler’s Cove incomplete.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m wondering if it’s still missing or not.” John turned up the heat on his smile before taking a sip of tea. Ruby flushed with heat, and not from her steaming tea.

  “Well, aren’t you just adorable?” Ruby asked. “I’m forty-one, John.”

  “So?”

  “So, I’m not a spring chicken anymore. I know back in the day I was this party girl, and probably seemed like I had an exciting life, but I’m not sure I want to be that anymore. I just…” Ruby stirred her tea utterly without necessity. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed with who I’m becoming.”

  “Do you like pinball?”

  “Pinball?” Ruby’s brow furrowed up. She could remember many nights at the amusement park near the beach, playing the various stand-up games which rotated in. Ruby had been quite good, and she didn’t even need to use magic to cheat. “Oh God, I haven’t played pinball in so long, you have no idea.”


  “They don’t have pinball in New York?”

  “Oh, sure, they do, but New York is changing.” Ruby grimaced. “Gentrification. Now, playing pinball is a planned experience that involves parking, a cover charge, and overpriced bar food. You can’t just pop into an arcade and slam the paddles anymore.”

  “You can if you stop by the police station,” John said. “I had a machine installed in my office.”

  “You did not!” Ruby gaped.

  “I did.”

  “Which one?”

  “High Speed.”

  “Figures you’d get the cop-themed one…still, that’s a serious table. Not for the timid.”

  “If you’d care to come by and give it a whirl, you could try and beat my high score.”

  John’s radio crackled. “Chief Miller?”

  “I’m here, dispatch. What have you got for me?”

  “Seamus picked up that sus for the 10-98 down at the boardwalk. In custody now.”

  John stood up quickly, returning to his officious law enforcement professional demeanor. “I’m on my way.”

  “John? What’s wrong/ What in the world does a 10-98 mean?”

  “It means,” John said, turning to face her “that we found the man who abducted you at gunpoint. He’s down at the station right now.”

  Twelve

  “Wait,” Ruby said, standing up as well. “I’m coming with you?”

  John’s brows rose high on his face. “You are? For what purpose, exactly?”

  “I want to talk to this man.”

  “Ruby, you’re a civilian. You have no business becoming involved in a criminal investigation.”

  “Um, in case you haven’t noticed, John, I’m already involved. This man threatened to kill me, remember? All because I was asking questions about Roger Abernathy. You pretty much can’t separate me from the case.”

  John put his hands on his hips and cocked an eyebrow. “You might be surprised what I’m capable of. I’m pretty stubborn when I want to be.”

  “My magic could be useful.”

  John’s jaws worked silently for a time, his eyes growing hard as diamond as he met her gaze. “Granted. You’re still not going.”

  “Come on, John.”

  “I can’t compromise the investigation. What would the District Attorney’s office say?”

  “You’re impossible.”

  “Thank you,” John said, a wide grin splitting his handsome, broad-featured face. “But flattery will get you nowhere.”

  Ruby let out a strained chuckle, unsure if she were charmed by John, or wanted to throttle him. Just like my Aunt and Uncle…

  “Okay,” Ruby said in a coy tone, lips slightly parted in a sly grin. “What about this: My life is clearly in jeopardy until this dastardly killer is brought to justice. It’s not safe to leave me alone until you’re sure this is your culprit.”

  Ruby batted her eyelashes. John chuckled. “How long would it take you to get ready?”

  “Um, half an hour?”

  “I’m leaving in ten minutes. If you’re ready by then, I’ll see you outside.”

  Ruby gaped in astonishment. “That’s not enough time to even pick out my clothes.”

  “Necessity is the mother of invention,” John said, turning for the door. He pushed it open and stepped out into the sunlight—

  Only to reappear inside the lighthouse. He looked about, confusion reigning supreme in his gaze. “Didn’t I…I thought…”

  He shook his head and went through the door again, and again stumbled back into the lighthouse.

  “How is…I definitely went through the door last time.”

  “Oh dear, the apparition is acting up again,” Ruby said as she climbed the steps to the next level. “Sorry, Chief Miller. I had to call in a friend of mine to help exorcise it this weekend. Until it’s had its fun, I think you’re stuck here.”

  John frowned up at her. “An apparition, huh?”

  “I’m not lying, there really is an apparition.’

  “But is said apparition responsible for this?” John gestured at the door. “Why do I get the feeling the apparition will be done playing with me right about the time you’re finished getting ready?”

  “That sounds like supposition, officer. Not admissible in court.”

  “What if there’s an emergency?”

  “If you weren’t covered at the station, you wouldn’t have accepted my invite for tea. Now settle down and finish your cup. I won’t be long.”

  Ruby hastened through a quick wipe down with a damp washcloth and applied minimal cosmetics. She didn’t want to keep John waiting too long. Ruby hadn’t told John, but if his need should be dire, the spell would allow him to leave without any problems. That would keep him from being trapped if something should happen to herself.

  Ruby threw on her charcoal leggings and slid a tunic-style blouse over it. When she returned to the ground floor, John stood outside the door, talking on his radio.

  “I guess the apparition got done playing with me a little early,” John said, cocking an eyebrow.

  “When did it stop?”

  “Not long after you went upstairs.”

  “And you stuck around anyway? Until I was ready?”

  John chuckled. “I guess I did. Right this way.”

  “Wow, this is the first time I get to ride up front in a police car,” Ruby said as she entered the passenger side. John slid behind the wheel and then gave her a suspicious look. “That was a joke.”

  John grumbled in inscrutable grunt and put the car in gear. They drove the short distance into downtown Fiddler’s Cove. Ruby noted that all of the motorists seemed to be on their best behavior with a cop in their midst. They made complete halts at stop signs and eschewed speeding.

  “Must get rough, everyone always showing you their best behavior and hiding the truth,” Ruby said suddenly.

  “What was that?”

  “I mean, you’re the Chief of Police. Don’t a lot of people try to only show you their best side?”

  John pursed his lips. Ruby believed he was considering the concept for the first time. “Well, I guess I’ve never thought of it that way before, but, yes… I often find my training as an officer and investigator clashes with my own desires.”

  “How so?”

  “As an investigator, I’m supposed to assume that everyone might be a liar. I can see the necessity of it all. I mean, most people don’t just openly confess their crimes the first time you ask. They’ll almost always try to get away with it if they can, just on instinct. On the other hand, I’d like to think that everyone deserves a chance to earn my trust.”

  “Wow,” Ruby said, chuckling. “You are so different from that angsty little kid who scrawled Stryper all over his notebooks.”

  John laughed as they pulled into the station’s tiny parking lot. Most of the cruisers parked in the nearby garage, and the station’s civilian staff was minimal.

  “Actually, it was Slayer I wrote over my notebooks. Stryper is a Christian band.”

  “Oh, right, like it matters,” Ruby laughed, enjoying their banter. “You didn’t strike me as the law-and-order type. What happened?”

  John sighed, and his eyes grew distant even as he put the car in park and shut down the engine. “My father died. I had to move back home and take care of my mother and younger siblings. The police station was hiring, and it seemed like steady work. I guess I displayed some adequate level of skill.”

  “I’d say more than adequate, they made you Chief.”

  “No one else wanted the job after Chief Short retired. It’s mostly a lot of paperwork and hassle.”

  He held her door open for her, and offered a hand up. Ruby accepted it, shyly meeting his gaze. His scent overwhelmed her, a mix of cologne and animal magnetism. What did he shift into? It was driving her crazy wondering.

  “Alright, so far we haven’t charged this clown with anything,” John said, holding the door open for her ingress “but he has been read his Mir
anda rights. The second he clams up and asks for a lawyer, we have to either charge him or release him.”

  “So you want me to identify him from a line up?”

  “I had something else in mind,” John said. “How’s your illusion magic?”

  “Pretty decent.” Ruby said defensively. She didn’t want to admit she used a bit of illusion glamour to minimize the lines next to her mouth.

  “Can you make yourself look like a uniformed officer? Change your face so the perp doesn’t know it’s you in the room?”

  “I think I can see where you’re going with this. Yes, that sounds like a splendid idea.”

  The downtown station was comparatively small with the bustling growth of Fiddler’s Cove, but that was because a second station closer to the beach was their primary holding and dispatch facility. Chief John continued the tradition of Chief Short before him, in that he only staffed the original station house with a skeleton crew.

  Ruby remembered when her Aunt’s familiar had gone missing and they’d come to the police station to file a report. That was before Fiddler Cove had become so bustling. The station looked much the same. A long reception desk formed a natural barrier between the front doors and a row of eight desks, most of them staffed by an officer.

  John’s office occupied the rear of the building, the doors standing wide open. Ruby caught a glimpse of his pinball machine, just enough to feel enticed.

  John led her into the small holding area. “Hey, Steve. You can take a break. I'm going to be around for a bit.”

  “Sounds great, Chief.” The heavyset officer wheezed as he forced his way to his feet. He nodded politely to Ruby as he sidled down the hallway to the station proper.

  “Our sus is in the last cell. Go ahead and do your thing.”

  Ruby closed her eyes and pictured herself as she appeared normally. Using the paintbrush in her mind, she altered her features, extending her nose out longer, shortening her hair, and altering her dress into the dark uniform blue of Fiddler’s Cove. She chanted a few arcane syllables and drew on the ley line pulsing through town, and the spell was cast.