When Mercy Ends

by Ella Parks

“The banks crashed, closed, everyone lost their money. Mark and Markus had their money in the bank, didn’t they?”

  She had a lot of information for someone that had not been seen out of the house, but then I thought about her callers that Doc and Jenny had seen so I just said, “Yes, I think they did.”

  “Did they lose their money?”

  “Yes, they said they lost some.”

  “Some or all?”

  “From what I understand everyone that had money in the bank lost it when it closed.”

  “So, Mark and Markus, both of them, they lost their money?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you, I hope you lost all your money too. I hope you lose everything.” Her voice thick with venom.

  I was tempted to walk out but I looked at her again, at her stomach where a baby was growing, someone’s baby and at that point I wasn’t even sure it belonged to either of my boys, but it didn’t matter, it was a life that needed to be protected.

  “Why do you hate me so much?” I asked.

  Her lips seemed to snarl as she said, “because you have everything I want and everything I meant to have. I hope you lost everything. I am glad all your money was lost in the crash. You hear me I am glad. I was going to have one of your boys. I was going to run that house you live it and make it mine, but now all the money is gone, and I am glad you lost it… I am glad so glad. I intend to be rich one day, so rich it will make what you had here seem small, and I am glad you will be poor. This is a setback, I will admit to that, but I will make a way and I will be rich.”

  I didn’t tell her my money wasn’t in the bank. I stood there silent, looking at her, thinking she was already rich with the blessing of her beauty and health, and she could have had so many more blessings, maybe not money but the kind of blessings money can’t buy. Pity for her took the place of the anger I should have felt. Pity that she should live locked into a place of so much hatred.

  “Let me know if you need anything,” was all I said as I walked out.

  I walked slowly back to the house her hatred had chilled me to my bones. Doc was waiting for me with questioning eyes.

  “How did it go Lucy?”

  “Not good, not good at all. Doc she is so full of hate, why couldn’t we see this before? I don’t know how we will work through all this. I just don’t know. I am still looking over my shoulders at every shadow, so scared that whoever shot Mark might come back to hurt him again or Markus even Belinda, and now this.”

  “What did she say to you?”

  “She didn’t say much, just asking if Mark and Markus had lost their money when the bank closed.”

  “I guess her late, night visitors have been giving her all the latest news, otherwise she had no way of knowing all that. I don’t think she has been out of her house much and the staff wouldn’t have told her anything. She was always so rude to them, they didn’t seem to like her at all. Jenny said she told you about the men coming late at night. I am sure one of them was Sam McGee.”

  “The lawyer?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why do you think he came by?”

  “I don’t think it was a business call Lucy. He was moving too quiet, hugging the house too close. He did not want to be seen.”

  “Doc, he is married. He has children!”

  “Yes, he does, but I don’t think he was giving them much thought except hoping he wasn’t seen there. I also saw Paul Herring, and Ken Pane there on different nights.”

  “They are predominant church going men with families!”

  “I know but I saw them all there. I saw Ken leaving one night, still kissing and clinging to her at the door.”

  “Doc, she doesn’t look good. She looks really bad.”

  “I hate to say it this way Lucy, but I don’t think they are coming to court her. I don’t think they care if she looks bad right now.”

  “It horrifies me that my boys got involved with her and it scares me. It scares me so bad!”

  “I know, it scares me too. What else did she say to you Lucy?”

  “Just that she was glad I had lost everything, she said she had meant to have the house that she had a setback, but she would be rich someday. She hates us Doc, all of us.”

  “So, she doesn’t know where your money is? You didn’t tell her, did you?”

  “No, I didn’t tell her.”

  “Good, I believe she is wicked. We should all be careful around her.”

  “Lucy, Lucy, Doc, come quick, come quick!” Molly shouted out making us run toward her voice.

  “He moved his toe, he moved it, he really did! I was working his leg muscles when he moved his toe!”

  “Really, oh thank God.” Doc said as he reached for Mark’s foot where his big toe moved slowly back and forth, Doc and I both looked at each other knowing it could just be a slight muscle twitch, not an improvement, but neither of us said that. We kept our words encouraging and smiles on our faces.

  “I knew you could do it! I knew you could do it!” Molly kept saying as tears ran down her cheeks. She didn’t bother to wipe them away, but she leaned over Mark, kissing him. The noise brought everyone into the room where we all gathered around his bed everyone encouraging him, but Molly didn’t give us much time before she insisted, he be put in his wheel chair to get some fresh air. She was his self- appointed nurse and except for cooking she rarely left his side, sometimes pushing his wheel chair in the kitchen while she cooked. Sometimes her beautiful face looked weary, but she always took the time to caress his shoulders, asking how he was doing.

  I saw a future for those two, even though he may never walk and this thing with Megan still hanging heavy over him, I believed she will stick with him. My Mark had made some mistakes but ended up with a wonderful woman, one that I loved dearly. As I watched her tending him, I was not sure she even believed he would be able to walk again. I thought her joy in the announcement might be for him than her. I watched her tending him, loving her even more.

  Thankfully the next few days were quiet as we spent our days working with Mark and seeing our patients. We still had not seen any farther progress with Mark, but we kept on trying. Markus was still quiet, torn with guilt about the struggle with his brother. We locked our doors and windows now, sometimes we would set on the porch watching the summer fading, but not like we used to, still wondering about the who and the why of the shooting. The sheriff never came around, but Lilly had sent word to Doc that the beating had made BJ really sick. Doc went to see him but said nothing except he hoped time would heal him. He told me later that Lilly wouldn’t leave the room, even while Doc was examining him. He said she kept telling BJ to be quiet, to lay still and we worried that BJ would never be the same again. It had been hard enough for him to recover from the accident plus adding the blows he took to his head.

  24

  The nights still scared me, Billy and I moved Belinda into our room, fearing leaving her in her room alone. Molly moved into Mark’s room using the excuse he might need her in the night, bringing Jimmy into the room with them. Some nights I would lay beside Billy, eyes on the ceiling still trying to make sense of it all, listening for any sounds in the house, not wanting to wake Billy needlessly but sometimes hearing noises that had he not been exhausted I would have asked him to investigate. He slept on the side of the bed closest to the bedroom door, while I had put Belinda’s bed against the wall on the side. I always pulled the shades now, fearing someone looking in from the darkness outside. I still could not get past the feeling of being watched while I lay there wide eyed, staring into the dark of the bedroom, stiff with a fear I could not explain. I looked at the shelving that hid the safe, wondering if anyone knew that was where the money was. I wondered if that was somehow connected to Mark being shot, but no one knew about the safe, except the workers that had installed it while the house was being remodeled, and they had worked for a crew t
hat moved from town to town, but they would have no way of knowing about the money. I had told the foreman it was for medical supplies, which was what I had it installed for. I had not thought of keeping any money there. I remembered how Barry had money hid all over the house, but until his death, I had never feared anyone coming in to try to take it. Everyone including me feared Barry too much. I had not even told the banker what I planned to do when I withdrew the money. Billy, Doc, had known, but no one else until after the market crashed, when I told the boys, and Jenny and Molly not to worry, but I knew the knowledge was safe with them. I lay there thinking if it was about the money, I would gladly give it up to provide safety for my family. I knew the money was helping so many. It allowed us to keep the hospital going, while allowing us to help those coming to us in need. I had vowed to use the money Barry left me for good. It seemed to me that would somehow justify all the misery. Billy was breathing the deep sound of sleep when I heard the bump. It was not a normal sound of someone walking. It sounded as if someone had bumped the small table in the hall.

  “Billy, wake up. I think someone is in the house. Wake up,”

  “What is it baby? What is wrong?”

  “I heard something Billy, there is someone in the house!”

  “Most likely someone just got up for some reason, maybe some water or a snack.”

  “No Billy there is someone in the house!”

  He got up reaching for his pants, pulling them up quickly. He reached for the shot gun he had taken to leaving behind the door.

  “Stay here with Belinda.” He whispered as he started down the hall, leaving me standing in the doorway watching him, fear like saw dust in my dry mouth as either the strange noise or the sound of Billy opening doors woke the others and I heard Markus join the search. Time seemed to stand still before they both came back.

  “We searched everything, all the closets, even under the beds, there isn’t anyone here now.”

  “Now, what do you mean now?” I whispered, barely able to get the words out.

  “We found a window pane broken out in the back room, looks like someone unlocked the window and came in that way. The table was pushed back out of the way, whoever it was left some dirt on the window still and floor, but it was smeared so we can’t tell too much about it, but someone has been in the house. Maybe more than once. The curtains had been pulled over the broken pane, could have been that way for a while. We will have to be more careful, but it is alright now, whoever it was is gone now. We nailed a broad over it until I can fix it tomorrow. Let’s all try to get some rest now.”

  “Do you think it is the same person that shot Mark? Do you think they have come back to hurt him again?”

  “I don’t know love. I hope not, but I don’t know. “He whispered as he pulled me close to him as we got back into bed.

  “Oh Lord Billy are we going to have to live in fear from now on? Who could be doing this to us? Who would want Mark dead? He is a good man, a good doctor.”

  “I know baby, I know, try to close your eyes. We will get through it together. We will baby, we will.” He held me while I cried, silent tears as I tried to keep from waking Belinda. He held me until the dawn broke across the sky.

  25

  The next morning Doc, Markus and Billy checked all the windows again. The windows were all tall and large, but they nailed all of them down on the lower floor, which meant we could not open them to let any air in but our fear of someone coming in was stronger than our need for the breeze the windows provided.

  I was worried about Mama and Papa too. I didn’t think they still owed anything on their farm, but I felt the need to go see about them, so Billy and I took Belinda to visit making sure they were alright. I had given Mama some money after Barry died, but I didn’t know if she had used it or put it in the bank. Talking about the farm was a sore subject for us, but I wanted to make sure they were alright and not lacking for anything. I hated to bring it up but asking was the only way I knew to do it, so I waited until Billy and Papa were walking outside with Belinda.

  “Mama the bank closing has hurt a lot of people. I am not trying to pry, but I was wondering if you and Papa are alright with your money.”

  She lowered her head, setting silence for a few moments before answering.

  “Yes Lucy, we are alright. The farm was finally paid for a few years back, but we still borrowed each spring to do the planting. Nothing has seemed to flourish on this land, it’s as if your tears poisoned the land, but he keeps trying. I guess he can’t stand to give it up, maybe in his mind he has to keep working it to justify what he did with you.”

  I caught my breath, not believing she was willing to talk about that time, but she went on.

  “You remember how he was. He was so full of life, we were so happy here. Sometimes I look out over this land I loved so much and realize I hate it now. I hate it even more than I ever loved it. I still have nightmares about the day Barry took you away. I lost all my family that day…awe they were all still here except you, but nothing was ever the same. The easy love we all had was lost, none of us had any light in us anymore. Billy’s family was gone to us, you were gone, and Lord knows I tried to tell myself you were alright, better off even with his money to protect you but the truth is sacrificing you left a bitterness none of us ever recovered from. I know you say you forgive us, and I believe you have, but we missed so much of your life and our grandchildren, not just your children but the boy’s children also, as if the chain of our family was broken and we couldn’t get it back together. Now the two of us set here together, bound by choices we can’t change, with neither of us feeling the way we once did. Oh, I still love him and believe he loves me, but we live with a cloud now and I don’t see him the way I once did. I used to believe in him so very much…sad thing is, I would have kept believing if he had put his family above that stinking red dirt. No matter where we had to go, we could have gone in love, now we just set here together, missing what we once had, just touching his hand used to mean so much, now we walk around each other careful not to touch, and it’s not the years that did it….it is the memories.”

  She was crying now, hard tears, face twisted in sorrow.

  “Oh Mama, I have forgiven. Please don’t cry, please don’t cry.” I said as I pulled her into my arms.

  “I was having dreams before Mark was shot, horrible dreams that I couldn’t remember but scared me so bad I felt sick when I woke up. I felt I needed answers when Billy reminded me that God is still in charge. You know everyone used to say Miss Barnhill had the second sight. She does Mama, she warned Billy and me that last day we went there. She scared us to death with her crying and warning us to run, she told us to leave then, she said we would lose each other if we didn’t. I thought she would be long dead, she seemed so old to me then, but he said she was still alive. I wanted to go to her, I wanted her to give me some answers, but Billy pointed out to me that everything could have ended so much worse. I won’t lie to you Mama, I was so hurt, destroyed even, but I heard Barry talking to Lilly and I realized it went way beyond the land. Did you know Barry told Papa accidents would start happening? Maybe they would and maybe they wouldn’t, but it’s over now and I wish you could forgive Papa too. Let it go Mama. If it had not happened as it did then I wouldn’t have Mark and Markus. Many times, I have wished Papa had been stronger, but bitterness eats us from the inside out…I am happy Mama and I want you and Papa to be happy too. Hold his hand again……forgive him Mama.” I whispered as I pulled my Mama close against me, realizing the door to the past needed to be closed forever.

  “I brought some money for you and Papa and I want you to let me know if you need anything. We will take care of my brother too and their families. We will all stand together again. Tell them to come to me if they need anything Mama. Will you promise me that Mama?”

  “I will, Lucy, I will, but I think the boys are all alright, but I’ll tell them Lucy. I will.
”

  We put the talk of hardship behind us and enjoyed the day together while Mama and Papa played with Belinda, in a way they never played with us as we were growing up. I think they were too busy to play, too busy and too tired from trying to make a living for all of us. They had loved and taken good care of us, but they were different with Belinda, gently touching her arms or pulling her close for a hug while watching each move she made, looking at her with tender eyes, maybe in the fall or even the winter of our lives we learn to show more love, maybe even feel more. As I watched them laughing with her, I realized once again how quickly our lives can change, sometimes for the good, and sometimes for bad. As we were leaving, I turned around looking back at the house where I had known such happiness and such sorrow, I noticed Mama reached for Papa’s hand. I hoped she held it for a while, I hoped she pulled him back into her heart.

  .

  26

  We all settled into a routine of working, and caring for Mark, still watching over our shoulders, watching the shadows, still fearing someone we couldn’t identify. We had more and more people coming to the clinic, most of them not sick but needing food. We decided to use the hospital kitchen to make soup for the needy. It seemed a day did not pass without someone pleading for help, either pretending to be sick or showing up on the porch of the house. Most of them were farmers that had crops in their fields, but the bank was foreclosing on their land, forcing them leave or to return to steal the very crops they had planted. They didn’t mind the stealing of what belonged to them, but when they were forced from their homes, they had no way to save the food they took. Some moved in with families, while others lived anywhere, they could find shelter, if they could even find any. A little corn carried away doesn’t last long with several mouths to feed. They stole from our fields, but we never complained. We just worked extra hard at saving everything we could. As we took them in, we tried to explain how we would all work, while sharing what we had. Most of the time they were grateful for shelter and worked hard, but sometimes they stole what they could carry and moved on. Billy made sure everything was gathered, while still saving seed for the next spring planting.