When Mercy Ends

by Ella Parks

  There was food in the pantry of the hospital because we had planted food, drying and canning to use as food for the patients at the hospital. We had stock in the barn, so we shared what we had, feeding the ones coming to us with nothing to eat. The small houses filled up fast and sometimes even the hospital rooms. We tried to provide shelter, the only thing we asked was they do what they could to help keep the place going. There was livestock to tend and trees to clear, everyone worked as November ended and the cold started to set in. We were still massaging Mark, working with him hours each day. He still could not walk but none of us was willing to give up. Molly and Jimmy still shared Mark’s room. She had slowly moved all her things in with him, making his room hers also. I watched their love growing stronger each day, watching her help him into his wheel chair, tending him day and night, and it seemed the more uneasy things became around them the more they clung together.

  27

  I still made sure Megan had food delivered, but I had not gone back to her house, dreading even talking to her. I seem to stay so busy now between the clinic and trying to help Billy run two farms. He had to hire a foreman to help because each day brought someone else to our door needing food and a job. There was so much desperation and fear around. We had not turned anyone away. All we asked was for them to pull together to help all of us survive the terrible times. Billy would send a crew into our woods to cut trees for building a bunk house to provide shelter for more, and fire wood. The ladies would help in the hospital kitchen cooking three meals a day, making meals from what we had preserved the summer before and turnips and fall crops we grew. We didn’t have to buy much, only flour, meal and some salt along. Billy raised sorghum that we boiled down for molasses. Most of the farmers were used to raising what they ate, so it was not difficult for them. The hardship came when the bank took the land away, leaving them with nothing and no way to raise what they needed.

  Late one afternoon Jed Hastings came into the clinic with his hand wrapped in a blood soaked, cloth.

  “Jed, what has happened to you?” Doc asked as he pulled the cloth away.

  “I had an accident with the axe. It came loose as I was chopping wood, hitting me on the hand. I soaked it in coal oil, and I think it will be fine, but Dora insisted I come to let you look at it. She said we can’t afford me to get down now. I told her I didn’t have any money and still owe you so much, but she said you weren’t likely to fuss too much about what all I owe you. She insisted I come.”

  “Well Dora is a real smart lady, and you did well to listen to her. Looks like this is going to need a few stitches. How is Dora feeling?”

  “She is doing good, staying busy like we all are.”

  “How is the baby doing?” I asked him.

  “Awe, growing like a weed. He is a fine boy!”

  “Tell Dora we asked about her. One day I mean to get by to see her but there has been so much going on.”

  “I know. I heard about your boy Miss Lucy and I hated to hear that. I hated it really bad. Did the sheriff ever find out who did the shooting?”

  “No, we haven’t heard anything else. I have to tell you it makes it really hard. We are still looking over our shoulders all the time.”

  “I guess so, hard to think about someone doing that. Talk is the shot crippled him.”

  “Yes, he is in a wheel chair, but he is back at work seeing his patients and we have hope he will recover the use of his legs.”

  “Thank God for that. The Lord knows we are all facing some hard times. Did you hear what happened to my neighbor Marshall?”

  “No, what happened to him?”

  “Well he and his family have been working his farm about twelve years now. Twelve hard years, getting started. He had a good crop last summer, even his cotton did good. He didn’t have too much trouble with the boll weevils, I think because he listened to your man and burned the fields last fall, but anyway he had a good crop. He only owed twelve hundred dollars on his lien. He said he cleared a thousand dollars and started to pay it on the mortgage, but he thought he would make enough to finish paying it off when he sold some of his hogs. He put the money in the bank, proud as punch, said he couldn’t wait for that paper saying the land was all his free and clear. When the bank closed, he lost all his money, now the bank is demanding payment for the farm. The sheriff delivered a letter to them last week telling them to either pay or to get out. It’s hard to believe a thing like that can happen, but it did. He took it hard, real hard, said if it wasn’t for leaving his wife and kids, he would put that banker in the ground. I don’t know what people are going to do. It is just not right! That man knew about the money he lost. He knew he meant to pay. It’s just not right! Now he has nothing, talk is the bank is going to sell his farm at public auction, but he has no money to buy it back. All those years wasted. Dora and I don’t have much, but Papa left me the land, and all I have to do is come up with the taxes each year. I thank God for that but there is a lot of sorrow out there. A lot of sorrow.”

  “Yes, it sure is! We will have to pray for better times.” Doc said as he finished stitching Jed’s hand.

  “Doc, I will try to pay you some day. I really will try.”

  “I know you will Jed. I think you will be fine, keep it cleaned and dry if you can, and tell Dora we all asked about her and the kids. Take care Jed and come back in a few days if you see any redness. Dora is right, you don’t need to get down now, and blood poisoning will put you down real fast”

  “How can the banks do that?” I asked Doc after Jed was gone.

  “I don’t know, but they are doing it. About every patient I see has a similar story to tell. That’s why we have so many lined up here for jobs and meals. It is a sad time.”

  “That is why I can’t stand to turn anyone away.”

  “I know Lucy, you are doing a wonderful thing for so many, but I have told you this before, you can’t save everybody. You can’t save them all.”

  “I know Doc, but as I have said before, maybe I can save a few, maybe I can save some of them.”

  28

  I was helping Molly in the kitchen one morning when the foreman knocked at the side door, months ago the door would have been unlocked but not anymore. When I opened the door, he tipped his hat to me with one hand while holding the arm of a man I didn’t know.

  “Come in.” I said stepping back so they could come in.

  “I caught this man stealing chickens. I caught him red handed in the chicken pen, he had one in his hand. What do you want me to do with him?”

  The man was wearing a hat that I thought had been brown at one time but was so faded it appeared almost gray, one side of the brim was torn back to the rim. His overalls were faded and patched on the knees and I could see where his shirt had been torn and sewn back together. It was late November and cold outside, so cold we had already killed the hogs, but as my eyes fell to his feet, I saw he had taken cardboard and wrapped it around his feet using baling wire to hold the cardboard in place. I saw his feet were bleeding and he had left footprints bloody as he had walked into the room. His head was bowed hiding his eyes from me, with hands were folded in front of him, calloused and hard from work, they were trembling. I could see him gripping his fingers together trying to hide the trembling he could not slow, but his back was straight as a steel rod, and I could feel the pride he has always carried, even though his head was down, I knew what I would see in his eyes when he raised them to me. His dark chocolate skin smelled of wood smoke.

  “Why were you stealing the chickens?” I asked him already knowing what the answer was.

  He raised his head looking into my face, tipping the torn hat for me showing me what I knew I would see in his wide brown eyes. Somewhere inside the beaten soul of him the pride still burned, even as he stood there shamed before me, he kept his back straight and met my eyes direct, not looking away from me. We stood a few feet apart, eyes locked together as
we came to our opinions of each other. Something about him ripped out a piece of my soul, and he could see it happen. He watched the avalanche of feelings sliding through my mind as he read my thoughts as plain as I read his. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other as if he was awkward, but I knew it was the pain in his feet causing his movement.

  “It’s my children Miss, they are hungry. We have been sharecropping but the boss said he didn’t need us anymore. We have been living off what squirrels and rabbits I could kill but I run out of shells for my gun, and they are all hungry. I am sorry Miss, I never thought I would steal but they are powerful hungry.

  “What do you want me to do with him? Do you want me to just throw him off the place or do you want me to call the sheriff?” The foreman asked.

  “I don’t want you to do anything with him. Thank you for bringing him in to me.”

  “Are you sure Miss Lucy?”

  “I am sure. We will be fine now.”

  “Miss Lucy, you don’t know him. I wouldn’t just take him into the house.”

  “I know enough, we will be fine.”

  “Yes Ma’am.” He said watching the both of us.

  “Come with me, let’s see what we can find for you to eat.”

  “Begging your pardon ma’am, I am mighty hungry, but it’s my children I need to feed. I will go hungry myself to take care of them.”

  “I know you will, but I think we can take care of them too. What is your name?”

  “Howard, Howard Wilson ma’am, but I can’t go in your kitchen this way. It is not fitting. I’ll get into trouble for it. If you can find it in your heart to spare a little then I will thank you kindly and be on my way, and I promise to leave your chickens alone.”

  Still he followed me to the kitchen as we walked away from the foreman’s stare.

  “Molly we have someone here hungry.” I told her as I pulled a chair out for Mr. Wilson. Molly was already reaching for a plate as we started putting the food in front of him. He tried to remember his manners, but stuffed the food in his mouth, his hands still shaking as he held the glass of milk to his mouth.

  I waited a few minutes before I asked him.

  “Where are you living Mr. Wilson?”

  “Well the boss man said we couldn’t live in the little house on the edge of his farm anymore, said he needed it for something else, so we have been staying at the old Raymond barn.”

  “The Raymond barn, why that barn fell down years ago.”

  “I know but some of the board and tin was still there, so I took what I could and made us a little shelter.”

  “How many children do you have?”

  “We have two. Two little girls.”

  “How are you staying warm?”

  “We build a little fire with some of the rotten wood and things I find in the woods.”

  “Molly would you put some food in a bag for Mr. Wilson to take to his family?”

  “I have already started.” Was all she said.

  “It can’t be easy, living out there like that, why don’t you bring your family here. We always have plenty of work to do, and all of you will have a shelter over your heads at night.”

  “I appreciate it ma’am, you don’t know how much I appreciate it, but you know it would cause trouble with the white folks, better we stay where we are, but I do thank you kindly ma’am, that is so much more than most would do for us.”

  “Mr. Wilson, I don’t think anyone here would cause you any trouble. We are all trying to get through these times the best we can.”

  “It’s not the people here ma’am. I shouldn’t say anything else, no ma’am I thank you for the food and the kindness, but I’ll be on my way now.” He said while I read the fear in his eyes.

  “What is going on Mr. Wilson? You can talk to me, tell me what you are afraid of.”

  He turned around as if he expected else to be around him before he said.

  “It’s the Klan ma’am. The boss man owed me some money for the year’s work, but when I asked him about it, he threaten me with the Klan. He said lots of things there is no use me repeating to a lady ma’am, but he made it clear I had to go, and I should not say anything else about my money.”

  “Here is your food, take it and talk to your wife. I have a place here for all of you if you want to come. I will do my best to look out for you and all I ask in return is that you do your part of the work. You talk to her, but don’t go anywhere else trying to find food. When you need food, you come back here. There are some cow hides in the barn. I’ll get the foreman to show you where they are, take them and cut out some squares a little larger than your feet are. If you double the leather it will be warmer, pull it up and tie it around your ankles. Get enough for all of you. If you have any left have your wife cut it into a vest. It will keep you warm and stop at the clinic to get some salve for those cuts on your feet. Wait here while I find some quilts to keep you warm.”

  “I thank you kindly ma’am.” He said as I put three heavy quilts in his arms. He took them, but his eyes were grieved with pain. I knew he didn’t want a handout, he only wanted a chance to provide his own way but we both knew fate had taken that away from him. I knew the pain and sorrow of that loss cut deep into him as I felt the despair burning his soul. He left still thanking me as he walked out the door, my heart heavy as I grieved for him, watching him walk away

  I was glad when he came back in a few hours his family standing behind him, his wife and two scared little girls, wearing rags, and like him had cardboard wrapped around their feet.

  “Ma’am, I talked to my wife. This here is Gladys. She thinks we should accept your kind offer, that is if it is still good. She fears the colder weather even more than the Klan.” He said softly looking over his shoulder to see who might be close to him. “These are my girls, Ruby, and Faye.” They were all standing behind him, holding on to his shirt, eyes wide. Gladys’s, eyes were searching, full of questions and fears wondering I guessed if she had made the best decision.

  They all nodded their heads to me as he told me their names “We will work hard for you ma’am, real hard, and we sure appreciate your kindness. We won’t forget it ma’am. We won’t forget it. I got the cowhide for our feet, but our knife was too dull to cut it and we didn’t want to ruin it. I was hoping we might borrow one for a few minutes.”

  “Yes, I can find you a sharp knife that you can keep. You might need one sometime.” I went to the kitchen finding a sharp one. I took it to him handing it to him blade down.

  “Do you have anything to cook with?” I asked.

  “Not much ma’am. We had to leave fast and didn’t have much time to gather our things together.”

  “I’ll see what I can get together for you. I am glad to meet all of you. You are all welcome here, and I want you to let me know if you have any trouble. I’ll show you where you will be living for a while.” They followed me not saying anything until I opened the door to their new home. The children gasped with glee, before running to check everything out.

  “This is more than we need ma’am, this is a nice house, too nice. We just need a warm place and we will be fine.”

  “It’s small, but it will be warm.” I told him.

  “Oh ma’am, are you sure you want us to stay here? It is nice, fancy.”

  “This house is close to the bigger house. We will be close in case you should have any trouble.”

  “Thank you, ma’am, thank you, so much!” He kept telling me over and over.

  Gladys kept looking around, silent eyes wide as if she feared the house might trap her family somehow.

  I gave them the house next to Doc. I had left all the small houses empty except for the one Doc and Jenny lived in and the house where Megan was. I had left them empty in case Molly’s family needed a place to stay or some of my family. Most of the workers were living in the large buildings we
had built to provide for them. Truth was I had told him no one would cause him trouble, but I really wasn’t sure if the others would accept him. I knew some would, but some may not. I wasn’t sure what I could expect but I knew I would do everything I could to protect him. I had the foreman take a bedframe from upstairs along with some other items I felt they might need.

  Trouble came a few days later. It was a cold morning, raining while the rain threatened to freeze, combined with a chilling wind that seemed to cut to the bone. Doc and Markus had gone to do some house calls leaving Mark to see what few patients braved the weather to come to the clinic. Molly, Jenny and I with about six more women were in the waiting area of the clinic. We had set up quilting frames and we were quilting, trying to make more cover for everyone. We were using the last pieces of cotton, cotton that would have normally stayed in the field after the second or third picking, but nothing was left this year. No small pieces of white were left now. It had been hard pickings, fighting the saw briars and the cuckle-burrs to pull the small pieces from the dried burrs, but now we had a basket of cotton. We pulled the seeds out by hand, not having enough cotton to take to the gin. We were using it to line the quilts, stretching it then stitching it to keep it in place, so it wouldn’t shift to one place. We used scraps of whatever we could find.

  We put the quilting frames in the clinic in case Mark needed either of us. We always tried to make sure some of us were close by him all the time. I knew what his business was as soon as he walked through the door. He started to walk to where I was setting but I stood up, walking to meet him. His stomach preceded him by a long way, his face was red either by the wind or the drinking I heard he was fond of. He had an air of self -appreciation about him that was totally underserved, and he walked with as much swagger as he could manage with all the weight he carried around. His name was Adam Crawford, but everyone called him Lucky, and he was said to be the main leader of the Klan. His word was said to strike fear in those that opposed him.