When Mercy Ends

by Ella Parks

  “Why hello, what can we help you with today?” I asked him. He didn’t wasted time with small talk.

  “I hear you have Howard Wilson living here”

  “I do.” I said, “but I wonder how you heard that and why you would even ask me if it is true.”

  “You can’t have blacks living around white folk, it ain’t fitting. I hear he is in one on the better houses, while whites are living in bunk houses. It just ain’t fitting.”

  “I think that would be my choice.” I said.

  “I don’t think so, and I have come to tell you to move him out. It’s a kindness I am doing for you, giving you a chance to rethink everything. He needs to go today.”

  “Well I appreciate your kindness especially your making a trip out in all this cold weather, but it is still my choice and I say he stays where he is. He is very helpful around here and he is staying until he chooses to go.”

  I could see the fire building in his eyes as I stood there facing him, watching as his fury grew.

  “We do a lot of good for people and I am trying to do something good for you. I am trying to keep down trouble.”

  Oh yeah, I’ll bet your bunch does do a lot of good. I’ll bet that is why all of you wear those sheets over your head, to protect yourselves from all the gratitude of all those you help. I’ll bet all those good deeds is why you came in here today. Did you wait down the road until you saw the men leave? Do you feel better about your good deeds when there are just woman and children around?”

  His face grew redder and even in my rage I feared his blood pressure would cause him to collapse on the floor. He took another step toward me and I heard Molly and Jenny getting up to come toward me. I put my hand behind me motioning them to stay back but they stood a few feet behind, not wanting me to have to face this man alone.

  “Do you really want to go up against the Klan? Is that what you want to do for a share cropper? Are you willing to take that risk?” He snarled, close enough I could smell his sour breath.

  My knees felt weak, but I stood there not willing to let him see my fear.

  “Another question might be, do you and your bunch want to go against the hospital? You asked me if I am willing to take the risk, now maybe you should ask yourself the same question. This is the only hospital in maybe eighty miles and the talk is that one is about to go under. That is a long ride if someone is hurt or sick. It is a long ride, especially now with gas so high and hard to come by. Since you are so helpful, then maybe you can answer this question for me. What if some of your helpful bunch should get sick or maybe some of their family. This is a private hospital, we don’t have to treat anyone we don’t want to treat, if we chose to turn someone away, it is only between us and God who judges. You know who I was married to. I might know more about your friends than you know. I might know who covers their face to go out and do good works. I want you to consider that the next time all of you meet. Maybe we have treated some of them or their families, maybe they might not want to ride against someone that has helped them at one time. Oh, I know you have more men in the different towns, and I know you can bring them in if you want to. I know the damage you can cause but something else I know, you stand here in front of me right now, face blood red, most likely your blood pressure is just short of you having a stroke. What happens if you have one? Do you want to be welcome here or not? It could mean the difference between life and death, could be yours either way.”

  “You don’t run this town!” He bellowed.

  “I know I don’t. I am not trying to, but then neither do you, this town belongs to all of us, but I do run this hospital, the only one around. All I am trying to do is provide for the hungry. We are all working together trying to survive. You need to just walk away from this one. You need to leave us alone. We are not bothering anyone, and who I choose to have here is not concern of yours or the bunch you ride with. I told you, both he and his family are helping me. You think about it as you see yourself out, and you might want to get your blood pressure checked. I do believe it is running a little high, you never know what that could lead to.”

  He glared at me, before he turned to the door, but he didn’t slam it as he walked out.

  “Oh Lord Lucy, I was so scared he was going to hurt you!” Molly said.

  “Me too!” Jenny said. The other women were silent as I left them quilting but I made my way slowly to the house trying to settle the shaking and weakness in my hands and legs.

  The men were very upset when they learned what had happened, each of them threatening to go talk to Lucky about upsetting us, but I convinced them it would be better to leave it alone unless there was more trouble. We did call a meeting that afternoon, calling everyone to meet us close to the porch while I spoke to them.

  “I wanted to tell all of you that I had a visitor today. He claimed to be here to help me, but he wanted me to make Mr. Wilson and his family leave. I want to make it clear to everyone they are welcome here as long as they want to stay. I will be watching after them, their little girls will be welcome where ever they need to go. They will be respected at all times. Everyone here is here because of need and they are no different. We all have to band together like we have been doing if we plan to get through all this, there are people out there starving, but I have not turned anyone away that has come to me willing to work for their food. I called you all together to remind you all of how we all need to stick together, all of us. If anyone of you don’t think you can treat everyone with respect then it is time for you to move on, pack and leave as soon as you can, because there will be no place for you here without kindness and respect. I know there will always be differences here, we have too many not to have them, but they will not be about color, not here. I ask if you hear of trouble come to Billy, or me, let us live in peace here while we wait for better times. That is all I wanted to say to you. Oh no, I forgot there is some new quilts if anyone needs them, and if your children need shoes, bring them by the house tomorrow so we can measure their feet. That’s all and thank you for coming out.”

  I heard Billy telling the foreman to be extra watchful and Mr. Wilson waited until the crowd had moved away before he came to me.

  “Miss. Lucy I sure appreciate everything you have done, but it might be best if we move on. I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”

  “You stay as long as you like, you and your family are welcome. Come by tomorrow while we measure for the shoes. We have to get shoes for you and your family before it gets any colder.”

  His feet were covered in cow skin now, but the rough ground would soon eat the leather up.

  “Ma’am, this leather is mighty warm. You don’t need to trouble yourself any more for us. We thank you for everything you have done.”

  I didn’t tell him how watching him stand straight and proud while still being humble made me admire him. I didn’t tell him how his quiet dignity, moved me. I didn’t say anything about remembering had hard it was to stand tall during such hardships.

  I just smiled at him and said.

  “I am glad you and your family are here, real proud Mr. Wilson.”

  “Please call me Howard.” He said.

  “Alright, and please call me Lucy.”

  “Yes ma’am, I would be honored to.” He never did though, he always called me Miss Lucy.

  I started asking Gladys to come help in the house and to bring the girls with her. Billy had arranged for the foreman to keep Howard close also. I feared the Klan might decide to harm them in some way. Belinda and Jimmy grew very attached to the girls and Belinda would beg for them to spend the night with us, one day both Ruby and Faye went to Gladys asking if they could spend the night.

  “Hush, that nonsense, hush, right now!” She hissed, “You know, no white family wants you two staying over at night! Hush, I say.”

  “Why, Gladys, you are mistaken. We would love to have them overnight.”
<
br />   Her eyes veiled with a challenge she tried to hide as she lowered her eyes away from mine, but my eyes issued a challenge also.

  “You still don’t know me very well, do you?” I said as the girls stood silent beside her. “It’s up to you and Howard, you are their parents, but don’t say no because you don’t think I want them.”

  “Just where would my girls sleep?” She asked, the challenge still there.

  “Why with Belinda of course! Isn’t that the point of them spending the night?”

  “You don’t want any…”

  “Wait Gladys, I would caution you to know something before you speak, little ears hear everything. Don’t give them a burden they don’t have to carry. They are welcome here, beyond welcome.”

  She didn’t answer me as her eyes locked with mine, but after a few seconds she nodded her head toward her girls, and that night became the first of many sleepovers.

  Belinda still slept in our room even though she should have been in a room of her own across the hall, but we still feared the nights and those that walked in the dark, so we kept our children close. I lay that night listening to the girls whispering and giggling until sleep finally claimed them. When I heard the sound of their steady breathing, I got up to make sure they were covered against the chill of the night, and I smiled at the sight of brown skin next to white as I noticed Belinda was between them, hands intertwined in their sleep.

  Gladys was at work early the next morning with an unasked question on her mind. I didn’t bother to answer her, I just said. “They are still asleep, go check on them but don’t wake them yet, they talked for a while before they fell asleep.”

  I heard the bedroom door close quietly before she came to me.

  “Why?” She asked. I knew what she meant, but I only said. “Why not?”

  “Why do you keep us working in the house instead of the fields?” She whispered. I could have made up some kind of excuse, but the truth came quickly to my lips.

  “Because I am afraid. I am afraid that someone will try to hurt one of you.”

  “Would it be better if we went away? It would make it easier for you.”

  “How would it be easier? How would it help if I didn’t know how all of you were doing? How would that help?”

  “Why do you care?” No one else seems to, why do you care?” Her face tight with battling her choice of words. I knew she did not want to lose the protection I provided, but her willingness to protect her children was written all over her face. I looked at her, sad that she had suffered so much that she had lost her trust while my respect for her only grew.

  I stood silent for a few seconds. How could I tell her that watching the way she and Howard stood tall against all odds touched my heart? How could I tell her that I respected their fight just to survive, that in the beginning I meant it to just be help, but now her little girls came to me for sugar cookies and I hugged them close to me, watching the joy in their eyes. I couldn’t tell her all that, but maybe I could.

  “I care. I care a lot.” I told her, as her eyes searched my face, I met her eyes, standing close to her, wishing for the words to make her mind easier about me. She had always been withdrawn from me, unlike Howard and the girls, that had warmed to me from the beginning. I realized I didn’t know what to say to earn her trust, so I turned away from her.

  “I need to see to some chores now.” I said as I walked away, but my heart lifted as I heard her call out softly.

  “Thank you, Miss Lucy, thank you!”

  I turned back, smiling at her.

  “You are welcome, and please know that what little I do, I gladly do it.”

  Our time together was easier after that. She worked in the house, sometimes humming as she worked.

  29

  The sound of the dogs woke me from a deep sleep, and I pushed myself closer to Billy pushing the sounds away, but something about the tone of their barking nudged at me forcing my eyes open. Billy heard it too and I felt his body stiffen as he listened a few moments before he pushed the cover off him, getting out of bed.

  “Those dogs sound like something has gotten them all stirred up. I think I will see what they are barking at.” He said as he pulled his pants and boots on, then his heavy coat.

  “Stay here baby. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  I didn’t listen, pulling my robe around me before pulling one of Billy’s work coats over my shoulder while I found my shoes as I followed him out our bedroom door. I knocked on Mark’s door and asked Molly to pick Belinda up and take her into their room while we checked outside. Billy stood at the door for a few seconds, looking out before he reached for the shot gun that stayed in the gun cabinet by the front door. I reached for the rifle and grabbed a handful of extra shells. I heard Markus stirring upstairs but we did not wait for him to come down. We couldn’t see anything as we stepped off the front porch, but we followed the sounds of the barking. It was coming from the little house where Howard and Gladys were living with their little girls. It was very dark, there had been a full moon earlier, but the black clouds had moved over the bright light shutting it out. The sky looked ominous, and I felt a chill inside me as we moved forward. The wind was cold, blowing my loose hair in my face making me wish I had fastened it up before coming outside. My hands shook as I held the gun out from me. We heard the scattering of movement before we could see anything.

  “Lucy go back and get some help! Stay back at the house Lucy.” Billy whispered to me. I turned, running back toward the front porch as Markus was stepping out on the porch.

  “Markus there is someone out there. Billy told me to get help!” I screamed breathless from running. He grabbed another gun and ran while I lay the rifle down to pull the large bell hanging by the front porch. It was our universal call for help. I put all my weight behind it pulling it several times, the deafening sound echoing before I picked the rifle up running again toward the howling of the dogs. Then I heard more. I heard screams and shouting and then a shot that was even louder than the pounding of my heart. The horror of what I saw was even worse than I had feared, and it all flashed before in some kind of unreal kaleidoscopic. I saw Jenny open her front door, her face frozen in fear and some part of my mind wondered where Doc was, before I remembered he had gone to deliver a baby late that afternoon. I heard Billy calling out to her telling her to go back inside and lock her door. She closed the door fast!

  There were shadows of images surrounded by white shrouds, four of them were holding one end of a rope that had been tossed over a thick branch on the tree. The rope was tied around Howard’s neck and he was dangling there, his feet not reaching the ground. He was franticly clawing at his neck, trying to loosen the rope, his body shaking as if he was suffering some kind of seizure. Billy was holding his feet and legs off the ground, while someone wrapped in the color of death was trying to pull him away. Markus screamed.

  “Turn him loose or I will shoot!”

  Another glob of white tackled Markus, causing the gun to fall to the ground while they tumbled one over the other. I was scared to shoot, afraid I would hit Markus. I moved past them, pointing the gun at the man as he pulled his gun back to hit Billy with the stock of it.

  “Drop that! Drop it now!” That was the moment I realized that I had a devil in me, and the devil took over as I pointed the gun toward the chest of the man that was going to hit Billy.

  I was close by then, and I pulled the rifle up aiming for where I believed the heart would be hidden under that white sheet. The ugly white hood had come loose in the struggle and I could see who it was. I was dimly aware of sounds in the bushes, sounds of running but I could not tell if they were running toward us or away.

  “Well, Adam we meet again, or should I call you Lucky like everyone else does? I’ll tell you a little something, I don’t think you are going to be too lucky tonight, because I am going to blow that black heart out of your chest!”


  He saw my eyes and knew I was telling the truth.

  “Now Lucy, you don’t want to do a thing like that!”

  It seemed as if everyone had gone quiet, but I heard ragged breathing although I wasn’t sure was coming from.

  “Oh, but I do, I really do. Now call your dog’s off, tell them to drop the rope now!”

  “Boys do what she says, do it now!”

  They did as he told them to do and Billy sat Howard’s feet gently on the ground, but he lost his balance falling on Billy taking them both down. The evil beast looked around hoping I was distracted enough for him to take the gun from me. I wasn’t.

  “We are going to end this tonight. I told you he was my friend and he was not bothering anyone. You have a weak and twisted soul, but you best be talking to your maker, because you are getting ready to meet him.”

  I was aware of Markus coming toward us. I heard him saying, “Mama we have it under control now, we will call the sheriff.”

  “It won’t do any good! Truth is the sheriff is probably here hiding under one of these sheets! I won’t let them hurt him! I won’t! I will kill him first! I am so tired of cruelty, so tired of it.”

  I could hear the sounds of the workers running toward us. There was a lot of them coming to offer help. I heard Billy now, his voice rising above the harsh sound of breath rising and falling that I realized was coming from me

  “Baby let me have the gun. We have them now. You don’t want to do this.” He said as he put his hand on the rifle lowing it.

  “We have this now. Go see about Gladys.”

  I stood there a few seconds more, eyes locked with wicked eyes that did not seem so cocky now. I stepped close, not fearing he would take the rifle now.