All or Nothing (All Series Book 1)

by Ann, Natalie

  The corner of Kaitlin’s lips tugged up. “He has the clip on him, just not in the gun. My mother knows that.”

  “I don’t understand. I’m sure if she asked him to leave it in the car he would. I’m pretty sure Ben would do anything any of you guys asked, without question.” And it was true. If she knew one thing about Ben, it was that he loved his family and would do anything they wanted if it made them feel more comfortable. Just like he had gone out of his way to make her feel comfortable with him wearing a weapon, and around meeting his friends and family.

  “Yes, he would if she asked. But like I said, if he feels safe with it on, she will let him do what he needs right now.”

  “What do you mean by safe?”

  Kaitlin leaned forward, and Presley followed her gaze to the boys in the front room, oblivious to the two girls, then leaned back and said quietly, “You know he was a SEAL, right?” Presley nodded and Kaitlin continued. “All his missions were top secret. I don’t believe there is anyone after him now, though. And besides, if he felt he was in real danger, he would have never come home and put his family at risk.”

  “I agree. So, again, I’m confused about the safety part your mother is worried about.”

  “How much do you know about Trent?” Kaitlin asked instead.

  “Not much,” Presley admitted. “I’m assuming he was a friend of Ben’s and a fellow SEAL, and that he died.” Presley didn’t feel right saying anything else about Ben’s dreams. She didn’t know what his family knew or didn’t know and wasn’t going to share either. But she did add, “Oh and that his ring has something to do with Trent.”

  “It does?” Kaitlin asked, surprise written all over her face.

  “You didn’t know that?” Now Presley felt bad sharing that information.

  “Did he tell you that, or are you guessing?”

  Looking around nervously, Presley added, “I’m not sure I should say any more.”

  “Please,” Kaitlin begged, grabbing Presley’s hand. “You need to know about Trent, and I’ll tell you, but I didn’t know about the ring. No one does, at least no one in the family.”

  With a sigh, Presley continued, because she really did want to know more about Trent and see if what Kaitlin told her confirmed her suspicions with why Ben had trouble sleeping. Or rather, why when he did sleep he had nightmares about Trent.

  “I don’t want to go into details on how it came up, and I don’t believe he would have said anything if it wasn’t the situation we were in.” Kaitlin didn’t need to know about the nightmare or that Ben was twisting the ring subconsciously on his finger afterward.

  “You don’t have to give me details. But was it Trent’s ring? We never knew, only that when Ben left the service, he came home with that ring on and hasn’t taken it off since. One night Alec was really ribbing him about having the ring on. At first Ben laughed and joked about it, and then suddenly Alec must have taken it too far.” Kaitlin stopped and mused. “I can’t even remember what was said to be honest, only that Ben got angry, really angry, and everyone backed off from that point. It’s never been brought up again.”

  “I can tell you it’s not Trent’s ring. I did ask, but all he said was no. When he didn’t say anything else I asked if it had to do with Trent and he only said yes. I’ve never brought it up again, either.”

  “Thank you for telling me that. I really appreciate it. And now I’ll tell you about Trent, just so you know. Trent was Ben’s best friend. More than that, really. I would say Ben and Trent were about as close to being brothers as could be. They did everything together, went into SEAL training together, deployed together, even completed most of their missions together.

  “Trent was…” Kaitlin stopped, almost as if trying to gather her thoughts. “He was different. A great guy. Really nice, friendly and loved coming to our house. He spent more time here when he was on leave than his own house. At first we all thought it was strange, but then bits and pieces started to come together.”

  “Like what?” Presley asked. So far nothing Kaitlin had told her explained Ben’s nightmares, at least not that she could see.

  “Trent was raised by his mother only. And she had an unusual attachment to him. I should say more like unhealthy. Patty had never wanted Trent to go into the service. Really, from what I know, it was like Trent was the parent and Patty the child. She relied on Trent for everything, and when he enlisted, she piled the guilt on—bad. Ben went to visit Patty once with Trent, because Trent had begged him to go. Years later, on some holiday, Ben had gotten a little sentimental and was thanking my parents for how they had always supported him in everything he did.”

  Presley could see that, Ben getting sentimental over it, and thanking his parents. She bet it meant the world to him to be supported that way. And she wondered what it would feel like to have a parent care that much and support her in her wants and dreams.

  “He told us how Patty was with Trent and how uncomfortable it had been for Ben when he was visiting. When Ben went to leave, Patty pulled him aside and made him promise to watch over Trent, saying that she needed Trent to come home safe and sound to be there for her. Laid the responsibility on Ben pretty deep. He was bothered more than he said. We all saw it, but it also made him appreciate what he had at home.”

  “How did Trent die?”

  “No one really knows all the details. Just that something went wrong on their last mission, and Trent didn’t survive.”

  “Commander Harper. Ben was in charge of the mission, wasn’t he?” And that was what finally hit Presley. Guilt. As if Ben wouldn’t have felt guilty enough about losing a man in battle, this woman laid even more on him, wanting Ben to keep her son safe. And in Ben’s mind, he failed.

  “He told you?”

  “No, he didn’t. I’m guessing. I knew his rank, I’m just guessing the rest.”

  “Your guess is as good as ours then. But yes, Ben most likely was in charge of the mission.”

  The phone on the end table rang. Kaitlin reached over and grabbed it before Presley could. “That’s Ben’s phone.” Too late, Kaitlin showed the flashing name to Presley as Ben walked in, and her face filled with sympathy.

  ***

  On the ride home Ben acted fine. He kept smiling and laughing the whole way. Even rubbed her face in the fact that she had fun tonight with his family. “I told you it would be good. You have to learn to trust me,” he said, chuckling.

  “Oh, I trust you all right. I trust you to continue with the fun when we get home,” she said, laughing in return. She wanted to keep him in a good mood, keep him smiling, even though she knew it was forced.

  She hadn’t missed the wariness that came over his face when he saw Patty was calling him. But he didn’t miss a beat, just silenced the ringer, shoved the phone in his pocket, then reached over and grabbed a cookie off the tray and said, “Kaitlin, stop eating them all or you won’t fit into your dress.”

  Kaitlin laughed, though Presley knew she really wanted to scream at him. Instead, Kaitlin rallied and tried her best to pretend the call didn’t come in either. One thing Presley learned tonight: the Harpers supported each other, no matter what.

  Merry Christmas

  Presley turned at the sight of Ben walking through the Pediatric Unit right before her dinner break. “I thought you were going home.”

  “I wanted to have dinner with you first,” he replied, holding up two Styrofoam boxes.

  “Let me go punch out, then it’s a date.” She returned a few minutes later, walked up beside him and followed him out the door to their normal quiet spot. “So what’s on the menu tonight?”

  “Burgers. Done just the way you like,” he said, laughing at her unimpressed expression. “What?”

  “You aren’t very creative. If it’s supposed to be my holiday dinner, I would have thought burgers were a little low rent.” He only laughed even harder at her attempt to pick on him. She had been doing that a lot more lately, or at least trying to get him to laugh. Because Kaitlin
was right, Ben had been a much happier person lately and she didn’t want Patty’s call from a few days ago to change that.

  “Today isn’t the holiday. Tomorrow is,” he informed her.

  “But I have to work tomorrow.”

  “Yes, and we can have a nice breakfast together at least. And I expect you to give me something different.” He wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her close, her side pressing against his “You know, something not low rent.”

  “I’ve got you covered, no worries,” she said.

  She finally reached their private little break room, only to find it looked different. There was a tablecloth on one table, a few candles—not lit though—a vase of roses in the center and actual plate settings. “What’s all this?”

  “Our Christmas dinner. Breakfast is nice, but I wanted something a little better for us tonight.”

  She was touched, and regretted that she teased him about it in the first place. She should have known he would do something like this. “That is so sweet. Now I feel bad about the low rent comment.” She leaned up and gave him a kiss on the lips, then seated herself.

  “Then you’re really going to feel bad,” he said, opening the containers. She saw not burgers, after all, but what looked to be some really nice strip steaks in one container, and two big baked potatoes in another, with a side of green beans. A vegetable he would actually eat without complaint.

  “Wow. Okay, you win. This is really nice. Thank you,” she said as tears sprang to her eyes.

  “Whoa. What’s with the tears? Cut that out right now. No tears allowed.”

  She giggled a little, blinking the tears out of her eyes. “Sorry, happy tears. I promise.” No one had ever done anything like this for her before. Ever. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a special dinner on a holiday, or if she did, she had to cook it herself. Nothing like this, though.

  Never had someone gone out of his way to make her feel special, or have a special moment. The carefully guarded shell around her heart was cracking very slowly.

  “OK, that’s good to know. I don’t like tears at all,” he said, adding an exaggerated shudder.

  “What, big bad tough Navy SEAL can’t handle a few tears?”

  “That’s right, I can’t. Now less talking, more eating.” He served them both, then dug in.

  When their plates were empty, Presley sat back and looked at Ben. Really looked at him, his cocky grin and brown eyes staring back at her, making her wish she didn’t have to go back to work. Thankfully, she would be spending the night with him after her shift, though.

  “You like what you see?” he asked, clearly amused at her perusal.

  “You know I do.”

  “Then why are you frowning?”

  She didn’t know she was. “No reason.”

  “Tell me, Presley.”

  There was no use lying, he would see right through it. “You look tired. That’s all.”

  His smile never wavered. “And that has you frowning.”

  “Well, I want you to be all rested up for when I get off shift.” She purposely put a smile on her face.

  He winked at her. “No worries.”

  She stood and started to clean up their dinner. “No, leave it,” he told her. “I’ll come back and take care of it. Let me walk you back. Maybe I’ll just wait for you to get off shift and follow you home. I’ve got paperwork to do anyway.”

  Not what she wanted to hear. She pulled her keys out of her pocket, then slid off the one she was looking for, grabbed his hand, placed it in his palm and curled his fingers over it. “Go to my place and rest. Take a nap.”

  “A nap?” he said, incredulously.

  “Yes. You know, rest up for me.”

  “You like giving orders, don’t you?” he said with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

  “So do you,” she challenged him.

  “So which one of us is going to win, then?”

  “Me.” She sighed. She didn’t want to argue with him, but she really was concerned. She had a feeling he wasn’t sleeping much at all, maybe nothing since the night he spent with her on Wednesday. And even then she was sure it wasn’t much. “How many things have I asked you for, Ben?”

  His shoulders dropped, and she could see she was getting to him. “Not much, other than going shopping. But that was a big ask.”

  Shaking her head, she said, “No, I didn’t ask you. I said let’s do it and you agreed.” She ignored his snort. “So back to my question. And the answer is—nothing. I’ve asked you for nothing. But I’m asking you nicely to please go back to my place and take a nap.” She placed her hand on the side of his cheek, giving him a light caress. “Because I’m serious when I say you look tired. So, please?”

  He pocketed her key, then grabbed her hand, threaded his fingers through hers and held it as they walked back to the ward. “After I go back and clean up dinner.”

  “Then you will go right to your office, grab your jacket and lock up. No paperwork, no stopping to talk with any of your officers and no rounds. Promise me,” she stated.

  “Back to giving orders, I see.”

  “Yep. Now promise me,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest by the automated doors.

  “I promise,” he said in a huff, then turned and walked away from her, leaving her standing there with a big silly grin on her face.

  Before she could walk through the doors, he was calling her name. She whipped around, grin and all. “I’ll get even,” he warned.

  And there went her grin.

  ***

  Surprisingly, Ben actually fell asleep. He would have never thought it was possible. But he kept his word, went up to his office, grabbed his jacket, locked up and walked right out to his SUV, then drove to Presley’s. He let himself into her house, put his gun in her room, grabbed a beer, unlaced his boots and lounged back on the couch to channel surf. Settling on a rerun of an old police drama, he finished his beer, set the bottle down, and dozed off.

  Almost three hours later he heard a car door and looked at his watch, but recognized it was too soon for Presley to be home. Soon though, within ten minutes or so.

  Kicking the blankets off, he realized that not only had he slept soundly for three hours, but also he hadn’t even jumped up immediately at the sound of the car. He was more… laid back. Comfortable. Relaxed. Like a normal person. He hadn’t felt like that in longer than he could remember.

  Ten minutes later he heard another car door, Presley’s this time. Walking to the front door, he held it open for her, then shut it and didn’t give her a moment’s pause before he had her trapped against the wall, his hands on both sides of her face, caging her in. “Like to give orders, do you?” He lowered his mouth to her ear, ran his tongue around, felt her shiver, then whispered, “I’ve got some of my own to give tonight, to even the score a little bit.”

  “Do you?” she said, leaning into his body, her purse slipping out of her hand and falling to the floor in a loud heap.

  “Staring now.” He picked her up, tossed her over his shoulder, and carried her into the bedroom.

  “What are you, a caveman?” she said, laughing.

  “I guess you’ll find out, won’t you?” He gently laid her on the bed, his body following down on top of her, his hands making quick work of her jacket, while his mouth covered hers.

  He didn’t give her any time to protest, just pulled one piece of clothing off of her body, then another and another, until she was left wearing nothing at all. Leaning back, he ordered her, “Undress me.”

  Her eyes had turned a deeper shade of brown, and her hands trembled as she reached forward, but she did what he demanded. Quickly she unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it aside, then lifted his T-shirt over his head, detoured briefly by running her hands up and around his chest, and even gave him a few not so gentle nips. “Keep going,” he told her.

  She listened, following his directions well, as he knew she would. Next came his button and zipper, then down his l
egs went his jeans and underwear, until he was as naked as her. “You know what else I want, don’t you?” His voice had taken on a huskier tone, sounding foreign even to him.

  Her eyes were staring right at the one part of his body that was standing firm and proud. “Yeah, I do.”

  “Then do it,” he ordered.

  Following orders, she sat up straighter on the bed and leaned forward, then placed that gorgeous mouth of hers on him and feasted like there was no tomorrow. He was lost, completely out of control, and didn’t have the power to rein it in. For once in his life, he wasn’t fighting it, wasn’t going to control anything, was going to just ride it out and see where it took him.

  Where it took him was a place he hadn’t been before. He swore the lights flickered, and music played. Maybe it was in his head. It had to be in his head. Either way, what she was doing to him made him want to sit back and sing, then conquer the world.

  She sat back, looked up into his eyes, wanting him, the desire in her gaze a powerful weapon. She could ask for the world and he would give it to her right at that moment. “Turn around. On your hands and knees on the bed.”

  She did as she was told. Oh, how he loved it. Didn’t even question it. He told her, and she complied. Perfect. Kneeling on the bed behind her, he grabbed her hips and entered her swiftly, savoring her cry of pleasure, the feeling of her muscles surrounding him, squeezing and constricting, pulling him in deeper. “I wanted to do this the first night I saw you at the bar leaning over, flashing your ass at me,” he said, panting. “This is my favorite part of your body. You know that, don’t you?” He was in a sensual haze. The words were just tumbling from his mouth. He was unaware of what he was actually saying or if it was making sense.

  “Yes,” she said, moaning. “Oh, God, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

  “I won’t. Not yet. Maybe never.” He reached his hand around her waist, applied just the right about of pressure with his thumb, brought her right to the edge of ecstasy, then moved his hand away and let her body take control.