All or Nothing (All Series Book 1)

by Ann, Natalie

  She didn’t disappoint, backing into him harder and faster, wanting all of him and more, until there was nothing left but a roaring in his ears and blinding white light flashing in his eyes.

  Completely spent, he pulled out of her and realized what had just happened. “Shit.”

  She turned over and flopped down on her back. “What? What’s wrong?” Her breathing still labored.

  Distressed, he looked down and said, “Ah, I forgot something.”

  She giggled, actually giggled at him, then grabbed his hand and pulled him forward onto the bed, settling next to him. “Relax, I’m on the pill.”

  Relief erupted in him. “How come you’ve never said anything before?”

  She shrugged. “It hasn’t come up. Besides, it’s fine. I’ve always used condoms, Ben. Always. Actually you are the first person that I’ve had sex with without one. The pill is just a back-up plan. Nothing is a hundred percent, and I’ve never wanted to take chances.”

  He ran his hand over her hair and placed a kiss on her lips, happy that she was okay with what just happened and not upset. He really had lost all thought whatsoever. It hadn’t even occurred to him to stop and grab the condom out of the drawer. “Just so you know, you’re a first for me, too.”

  Leaning up, she kissed him on the lips and said brightly, “Then all’s good. We don’t need to use them if you don’t want to.”

  “Really?” he said, cheerfully.

  “Yep. Not sure about you, but that was much better for me. Not that it’s ever bad,” she rushed out, a raspy rumble coming from her chest.

  “You really need to ask if it was better for me or not?”

  “I guess not,” she said, smirking a little. “Then hey, Merry Christmas to us both. What a great gift.”

  Strength and Courage

  Presley woke the next morning to Ben’s hands rubbing lazily across her rear. Half rolling over, she gazed at him warmly, “Merry Christmas. And good morning.” She leaned up and gave him a sweet lingering kiss.

  He tucked her under his arm and held her for a moment. “Morning. Merry Christmas, again,” he said, his eyes equally as warm as hers.

  She turned her head to look at the clock, saw it was eight in the morning, late for him, then snuggled in more and asked, “Have you been awake long?”

  “Not very.”

  She didn’t believe him. “You could have woken me. Hungry?”

  “Always, for you.” He kissed her long and deep, and her heart set off pounding harder than a jackhammer breaking through concrete. Pulling back, he laughed a little, then said, “But I’ll settle for breakfast. Remember, nothing low rent.”

  With her hands, she pushed off his chest playfully, stood up, found a pair of sweats, then pulled Ben’s T-shirt on over her head. She loved wearing his clothes, smelling his scent on her, and feeling that part of him against her body. He followed her out of bed, pulled on his jeans, and took another shirt out of the drawer he had been storing a few articles of clothing in.

  Passing through the living room on her way to the kitchen, she stopped and did a double take, then ran to the tree. “Where did all of this come from?” There had to be twice the amount of gifts under the tree than when she left for her shift yesterday. She hadn’t noticed last night when she’d gotten home. Then again, Ben had pretty much attacked her and didn’t give her a chance to notice anything. Now she wondered if that was all part of his plan.

  “Ever hear of Santa Claus?”

  She grunted. “Sure, but Santa didn’t visit my house often. And when he did, he never left anything like this,” she said seriously, and crouched down to look closer. “You went overboard, Ben. There are twice as many boxes as before.”

  “I couldn’t very well have you open more gifts from yourself than from anyone else. Geez, now that would be sad.”

  Wow, that was sweet. Really, really sweet. And something she never expected. “I can’t believe these are all from you. You said you didn’t like to shop,” she accused him.

  “I don’t, not in a mall. But I know how to enter my credit card into a computer.” He chuckled at her chagrined look, then added, “Besides, they aren’t all from me.”

  “What? Who else would they be from?”

  “I guess we could start with opening the gifts before breakfast and find out.”

  “Wait, I need to get yours then. Hang on.” She jumped up and ran to her room, threw open her closet door and filled her arms, then came back out balancing several boxes.

  “And you said I went overboard.”

  “I like to shop. You should have expected this.”

  He reached out and took the boxes from her hands and set them on the floor. “The ones you bought yourself can wait. You know what’s in them anyway. Let’s start with the ones not from me. Here.”

  He handed her a box and she read the tag, then dropped the box as if it were on fire. “Your parents bought me a gift?”

  Laughing out loud, he reached over, picked it up and handed it back to her. “Geez, Presley, it’s not a bomb. And yes, they did. You’re my girlfriend, you know. That’s pretty much standard practice in my family.”

  His girlfriend. He just called her his girlfriend. There went the racing of her heart again. “But I didn’t get them anything,” she said, suddenly distressed.

  “They don’t expect it.”

  “But they just met me a few days ago,” she argued.

  “Presley,” he said, laughing some more, “stop, and just open it. You’re being ridiculous.”

  Tentatively, she slid the ribbon off, then flicked the tape with her nail and peeled back a corner. “You aren’t going to be one of those people that carefully opens things and saves the wrapping paper, are you?” he asked, a pained expression filling his handsome face.

  She’d never been one of those people before. Then again, she’d never had anyone buy her this much stuff before. And she really wanted to remember everything about this day. “Sorry.”

  “Just rip it open.”

  So she did, and it felt great. Lifting the top of the box off revealed a beautiful deep orange sweater and a matching scarf. Her eyes filled as she picked it up and brought it forward for a closer look. “It’s cashmere,” she shrieked and dropped it back down.

  He fell back on the floor laughing. She was glad he found it funny, but wow. She had never owned cashmere before. And Ben’s parents bought it for her. Wow, oh wow, she couldn’t think of anything other than that. “It’s lovely. It really is. And so thoughtful. Your mom really shouldn’t have.”

  “It has my father’s name on it too,” he said snickering.

  “Did your dad know what was in the box?”

  “I doubt it.”

  “Then I repeat. Your mom really shouldn’t have.” But Presley was glad she did.

  “Here, this one is from Kaitlin. I figured I should tell you before you pick it up and drop it. I think it’s breakable,” he added slyly.

  Shaking her head, Presley grabbed the heavy box and opened it up to reveal a crystal cookie dish. Real crystal. And Ben’s family’s wealth started to rush back at her, making her feel uncomfortable again. “It’s beautiful, but it’s too much Ben. This is real crystal.”

  “Yes, it is. I told Kaitlin you would say that. She told me to tell you that she ‘owes you more than that, so be quiet.’” He shrugged. “I don’t know what she meant by it and didn’t ask. I have a feeling she wouldn’t tell me anyway.”

  Presley knew what Kaitlin was talking about. Kaitlin was happy to see pieces of the old Ben back, and she insisted it was all because of Presley. “Any more from other people, or can we start opening each other’s now?”

  “No. Here.” He handed her another one. “This is from me. The rest are from me now.”

  She accepted the box and handed one over she bought for him. “Let’s open them together.”

  In the end, her living room looked like a war zone of boxes and wrapping paper and she wasn’t sure who the winner was—then c
orrected herself. She was the winner. Because today was by far the best Christmas morning she had ever had in her life. It had nothing to do with what she received, but rather who she spent it with.

  Not that she didn’t get some pretty nice things. For someone who didn’t like to shop, he did a pretty good job. He bought her a few tops, a pair of jeans, blue suede heels—she didn’t think that was funny, but they were really nice heels—and a new scarf and winter hat—which were also cashmere.

  He seemed pleased with his gifts as well. She thought she had done well with some new shirts and pants. They both had the same idea about gloves and a hat. But he seemed the most pleased with the new ankle holster she bought him.

  She had been really nervous about that and had even researched them. When it was all said and done, she’d looked at the one he had, figuring he was particular about those things, located the brand name on it and then went from there. When she told him she kept the receipt and he could exchange it if he didn’t like it, he told her it was perfect. And she believed him.

  Because the morning was exactly that. Perfect. She stood up and walked to the kitchen to get a garbage bag, then came back and started to pick up the discarded paper. Only he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down to the floor. “I’ve got one more thing for you.”

  She frowned and couldn’t possibly imagine what else he would have bought her. Pulling the small jewelry box out of his pocket, he handed it over, and her heart dropped in her stomach. She prayed it wasn’t what she thought it might be. It was way too early and way too serious. Holding her breath, she flipped open the lid and saw a pair of earrings in an intricate design, almost resembling the design on his ring, but not quite. Close though.

  He took the box out of her hand and explained, “It’s a Celtic design representing strength and courage. Because that’s you, Presley, one hundred percent.”

  Yep, best Christmas ever. Hands down, no other one would ever compare.

  ***

  “Did Presley like her sweater?” Isabel asked Ben, hours later at his parents’ house.

  “She loved it. Got all teary-eyed the way women do. I don’t get it. It’s just a sweater,” he said, shrugging.

  “And that is why you’ve been single for so long, Ben,” Ryan said. “Because it’s never just a sweater.”

  “You’re giving me advice? Please. I watched you muddle your way through your relationship. And you’re one to talk about being single for so long,” he said back, amusement flashing in his eyes.

  “I had to wait for the best. It just took longer than I thought,” Ryan said, pulling Kaitlin closer and giving her a kiss.

  Ben bit back a response. It wasn’t the time. Besides, Kaitlin was happy and that was all that mattered. And Ryan, well, Ryan was great too, but Ben would never admit it.

  Watching Ryan and Kaitlin together right now brought on a pang of jealousy. Ryan was right, sometimes you had to wait for the best, and Ben knew he still had some work ahead of him, and still had some waiting to do.

  He hadn’t missed Presley’s look of panic when he handed over the jewelry box this morning. It was a test so to speak, to gage her reaction to it. If she seemed disappointed, then he would know, but she hadn’t, she seemed nervous, and then relieved when she opened the box.

  So now he knew. She wasn’t ready. Of course, it wasn’t like he had told her how he felt. Even he wasn’t ready for that right now. But he thought he might be getting there. Of course, thanks to his little test, he knew he had more work ahead of him.

  More work to do on her, and more on himself. Personally, he was getting there, closer at least. But not all the way. Maybe never all the way. The question was, would she be happy with just part of him? Could he be happy with only part of himself?

  ***

  “What are you doing here?”

  Ben shook his head at Presley’s shocked face. “Is that anyway to greet your boyfriend?”

  “It is when I didn’t know he was going to stop by. Especially since I thought you were at your parents’ today.”

  “I was. Now I’m not. Dinner is over and I’ve got one more thing to do.”

  He caught her eying the gift bag in his hand. “Did you bring me another gift?”

  “No. Boy, getting greedy now, aren’t you?” He reached out and tugged a lock of her hair when her jaw dropped. “This is for someone else.”

  Walking down the hall, he bit back a laugh. He knew she was following behind him, but she didn’t say a word. Turning the corner, he popped his head into Sarah’s room. “Merry Christmas.” She sent him a bright smile, looking so much stronger and better than she had last week.

  “Thank you. Merry Christmas to you, too.” Sarah eyed the bag in his hand. “Are you bringing Presley a gift?”

  “No, she was bad. Didn’t you know that no one gives you gifts when you’re bad?” he asked, teasing Sarah, and ignoring the snort that Presley made outside the doorframe where he suspected she was hiding.

  Sarah laughed happily, almost carefree, and the sound melted his heart. “Presley is never bad. Presley’s great.”

  Yes, Presley was great, the best there was. But he wasn’t going to say that to Sarah, not when he hadn’t even said it to Presley. “This is for you.” He handed over a small gift bag.

  “What is it?”

  “Open it up and see,” he said, encouraging her.

  Sarah tore into the tissue paper, sending it flying. Now that was how a gift should be opened. Pulling it out, she unwrapped the little box and flipped it open, revealing a keychain. “It’s so pretty,” she said in awe, running her hands along the design. “Does this design mean anything?”

  He cleared his throat. “Yeah, it does. Strength and Courage.”

  And there went Presley, trying to hide her crying, but he heard the sniffling just the same.

  Far Gone

  If Christmas was the best holiday she’d ever had, then New Year’s Eve might have been the best night of her life.

  She’d barely made it through the door after her shift when Ben had grabbed and pulled her into a kiss, yanked her jacket off, and tossed her purse on the floor. Groping, pulling and shedding each other’s clothes, they were soon naked and on the couch, his mouth covering hers, and his body entering her. “Just in time. It has to be right,” he mumbled incoherently between kisses.

  Together, in a race to the end, they started and ended within minutes of falling on the couch. He lifted his head, gave her a final kiss, nuzzled her neck a little and said, “I needed to end this year and start the new year with you the same way. Inside of you, the place I always want to be.”

  She was a goner. Those few words had done it. Tears had filled her eyes and he panicked, just like she knew he would. Which only caused her to laugh, especially when he said, “Ah, shit, did I hurt you?”

  “No, Ben, you didn’t. Happy tears. Just happy tears.” She hadn’t wanted to tell him they were tears of love. She wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

  Hours later now, she lay in bed, listening to his deep and steady breathing. Her back was against his chest, his arm around her waist and she threaded her fingers through his, lightly tracing the ring on his finger with her thumb. He never stirred, his breathing never changed, and she whispered, more to herself than anything else, “Please don’t break my heart.”

  ***

  “How was Florida?” Presley asked Lucy on the 2nd of January, an hour before their shift was to start. Lucy had texted her, wanting to get together and talk about their holiday.

  “Good. It was hard to fly back to New York though. I hate winter, I really do,” Lucy said, pouting as only she could. “But it was nice to visit with my parents. I still can’t believe they live there now. They started to put some pressure on me about getting married and having babies.” She stopped talking and laughed. “Can you believe it? I just about died when they put Mark on the spot like that.”

  Presley chuckled. She knew Lucy was hoping for an engagement ring for Christmas and sh
e most likely asked her parents to put Mark on the spot like that, but Presley would never say otherwise, least of all out loud. Lucy would only deny it, and she never lied well anyway. Mark probably saw right through the whole thing. “What did Mark do?”

  Lucy sighed, fiddled with the fries in front of her, looked around the cafeteria solemnly, then looked back at Presley. “Nothing. He didn’t even react at all. Pretty much ignored them, pretended they never said it and changed the subject.”

  “Maybe he isn’t ready yet? Did you ever think of that?”

  “We’ve been dating over a year. I mean geez, Pres, I’m pushing thirty and he is thirty. If you don’t know after a year, why waste each other’s time?”

  With a frown, Presley replied, “If you’re enjoying each other, can’t you just let it go for now?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I just really hoped I would get that ring.” Lucy picked up her drink, took a long sip and her eyes went wide. She slammed the drink down and almost yelled, “Oh my God, I forgot. Let me see those earrings.”

  Presley’s eyes lit up ecstatically. She pushed her hair away from her face and showed Lucy the earrings Ben had given her for Christmas.

  “Those are so pretty. You’re lucky. I didn’t get any jewelry at all, just some clothes from Mark. I would have been happy to even get some silver earrings. What, have you guys been together like two months?”

  “Something like that. And they aren’t silver,” Presley mumbled. Later that day when Ben had left to go to his parents’ for the holiday, she had swapped out her little gold hoops and taken her new earrings out of the box. Only then did she see they were actually white gold, not sterling silver at all. Leave it to Ben to go overboard.

  “So how are things between you two? I couldn’t believe it when you told me everything he got you. It had to look like an explosion of gifts under your tree on Christmas morning,” Lucy said excitedly.

  “What do you mean?” Presley picked up her burger, deciding she better start eating or she would never get through lunch before her shift.