Falling for Him

by Amy Stephens

  If he saw me in line he didn’t make any kind of acknowledgement and I hoped nothing had changed since our conversation the previous night. Even if nothing else ever happened, I still considered him a friend.

  Now that I knew what the Falcon Club was, I viewed each guy in a totally different way. Each of them had their own reasons for being here and they all had a story to tell. Yes, it all made sense now. Some of them looked rough on the surface where others of them just looked normal. The only thing separating them from the outside world was the drab gray jumpsuit they wore. They could have been dressed just like the other guys in my class with their sharp, crisp military uniform, but regardless of what they wore in the outside, everyone had their own secrets. Even those in the military.

  I finally made it through the entrance and went on into the classroom. Ray was already seated and looked up when I placed my things down on top of the table.

  “Evening Ray.” I told him.

  “What happened to you last night? I showed up at the library and waited. You know our grade is dependent on participation in and outside of the classroom.” He placed emphasis on outside of the classroom but Ray was an ass hole and I wasn’t going to let him bother me. Not now. “I can overlook the other two but what was your excuse?”

  “Oh Ray, I’m so sorry. I was sick yesterday and didn’t even make it in to work. I hate that the other guys didn’t show up. Maybe they just forgot we had planned to meet.” I was killing him with kindness. I hated lying and did everything I could to keep my face from showing differently. I’d had enough on my plate to think about without having to deal with him too.

  “Oh they knew alright. Sneaky pieces of shit.” Ray held nothing back. “I think one of our group members may be involved in something and got caught. Maybe that’s the reason they didn’t show up.”

  I was doing everything in my power to keep from slapping Ray. He might not have respect for Jaime and Hector, or the others in The Falcon Club for that matter, but there was no reason to start name calling. We were in a group for an assignment and whether we liked it or not, we had a grade to earn. Calling them pieces of shit was completely uncalled for.

  Suddenly, I froze. What was he talking about someone being involved in something? Jaime? Hector? Had someone seen Jaime and I together that night? Oh my! I wanted to run from the classroom and pretend none of last night had happened.

  Jaime finally made his way inside and took his seat beside me. Nervously, I looked over at him and tried to smile. He nodded and looked back down at his book. He was acting strange and it concerned me especially since hearing what Ray had said.

  Professor Jordon started his lecture and I found myself struggling to follow along. I leaned up so Ray wouldn’t be able to see. I jotted down on my notepad “U ok?” and lifted it so Jaime could read.

  He printed a simple “Y” and I took it to mean “yes” and not asking me the question “why”. He then printed “U?” and I slightly nodded not wanting to call attention to our method of communicating.

  “Where’s Hector?” I wrote down next. I made sure to blacken out the words after he’d read them so no one else would see or read them.

  “Gone.” He printed on his paper.

  I’m sure all the color must have left my face upon reading that one word. Gone. Not sure what he meant by gone, but I couldn’t wait for our break so I could find out what the heck was going on. I tried to focus on taking notes again but I felt defeated. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate, I just couldn’t. It all made sense now that Ray’s remarks had been aimed at Hector and not at Jaime.

  Just as soon as the instructor announced it was time for break, I turned to look at Jaime. “What do you mean he’s gone?” I couldn’t get my words out quick enough.

  “Hector got transferred to another location today. He and a few others got caught taking drugs back into our facility and the warden busted them.” Jaime looked around to see if anyone was watching us.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. Hector?” I was shocked.

  “Security’s been tightened up but it will only be for a little while. It happens every semester and someone gets careless and gets caught. It’s required to have full body searches prior to returning back to the camp now after we’ve been in contact with anyone outside of our group. Hector and the other guys won’t tell who was supplying them, but the wardens are fairly certain it was coming from someone here on campus.”

  “You mean a student was giving it to them?” I was trying to figure out how it could have happened.

  Jaime kind of snickered. “Maybe. Or maybe a teacher. You never know.”

  “Surely a teacher wouldn’t have done something like that. Right?”

  “Look Erica, for the most part, the instructors here are great and don’t have a problem with us being here taking classes. But there are a few who don’t feel it’s right. Even though we pay to go to school here, they just don’t feel that inmates should be getting an education, regardless of who pays for it. They’re getting paid to teach no matter who the students are and that’s the way it should be.”

  I could see his point but wouldn’t a teacher be taking a huge risk by supplying drugs?

  “Poor Hector.”

  “Well, it’s not the first time I’ve seen this gone down. Like I said, it happens almost every semester. My guys make friends, they get too comfortable and eventually drugs come into play. It happens so don’t get all worked up over it.”

  “But if it happens every semester, won’t they start putting tighter restrictions on everything? What if they stop letting you go to class?”

  “Think about it Erica. These are government people watching over us. They don’t care if we are here or in another facility somewhere else. Just like they don’t care if we get sent off. The longer we stay incarcerated is just job security for them.”

  It saddened me hearing this. While these guys may be doing time, it’s not like they murdered or raped anyone. I mean tax evasion and drug trafficking isn’t right either and shouldn’t lessen the punishment for the crime, but they shouldn’t be treated like they are hard core criminals.

  I could sense there was more to the story and I noticed Jaime looking around again to see if anyone was in earshot of hearing us. When he felt it was safe, he filled me in on the rest of the news about Hector.

  Apparently Hector had a girlfriend, someone he’d met from a previous class, and she lived close by. He didn’t say if she was the one who had been supplying the drugs for him but I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t her it was someone else involved in their circle. Hector was known for meeting her in the parking lot behind the building, she’d slip him a change of clothes, and he’d leave the base with her. Most of the time he’d duck down in the back seat or ride in the trunk, but one time he’d been so bold, he rode in the front seat with her. The guard never suspected a thing. And since they work on rotating shifts, she would return him back on base before class was over and their little secret remained safe once again. No one would risk telling on them, it just wasn’t something you did to a fellow cell mate.

  I might not think logically about everything, but I could use my imagination and pretty much figure out what they were doing when they left the base. I just couldn’t imagine taking such a risk. God, were they crazy? I know guys have sexual needs and being locked up for so many years can surely make you do some stupid things. But to leave the base? It just didn’t seem worth taking the risk.

  Then, it got me to thinking about Jaime and what, if anything, I would risk to see him. I don’t think I could ever do what Hector and his girlfriend did, but was my meeting him at the library putting myself in harm’s way and throwing red flags in my direction? We were, after all, just friends who had met in class.

  Nothing more.

  Right? I admit the kiss had stirred emotions in me I hadn’t realized were there, but looking at the facts, was this even something realistic for me and him?

  When Ray came back inside the classroom, P
rofessor Jordon called the three of us to his desk. I assumed this had to do with what Jaime had just shared with me about Hector so I pretended not to know anything.

  Without going into details, our group had obviously been reduced from four down to three. Our overall grade wouldn’t be counted off from Hector’s non-participation, but we were expected to step up and cover the part of the assignment that Hector had been responsible for.

  “We’ll get right on it sir.” Jaime quickly added trying to make this transitions smooth for us all. It was bad enough Hector had put us in this predicament but there was no need to dwell on it. We had another month before the assignment was due and there was plenty of time to overcome the loss of Hector.

  Ray had a slight sneer to his voice. “I bet you will. Right on it.” Then, Ray looked at me.

  Jaime and I both cut our eyes in Ray’s direction, neither of us appreciating his tone.

  Taking our seats again, class resumed and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Too much had happened in the last twenty-four hours and I was having trouble letting it all sink in. There was no reason for me to turn against Jaime and neither should Ray. We would somehow make it through this project.

  The next evening, Jaime had suggested taking a break from meeting up at the library. He said everything would settle down in a couple of days and right now, he didn’t want anyone reading more into our meetings. The last thing he wanted was for me to feel uncomfortable. Ray was just being an ass and I shouldn’t worry.

  The rest of the week seemed to drag. I missed seeing Jaime and wondered if he missed me too.

  Chapter Eight

  On Friday morning, I packed my things and got ready to make the five hour drive to spend the weekend with Monica. I should be thrilled to see my best friend but I couldn’t keep my mind from thinking about Jaime. I was saddened he hadn’t wanted to meet up last night even though I understood his reasoning since the ordeal that had happened with Hector. Things did need to settle down.

  Hopefully my mood would change once I arrived on campus. It was homecoming for State and Monica had plans for us to hang out tonight on the Square for the parade followed by pep the rally. Then tomorrow, she had tickets for us to attend the game.

  Monica had someone she wanted me to meet and I found myself dreading this more than anything. According to her he was totally “hot and irresistible”. She was convinced I’d be eager to transfer next semester and would figure out some way to cover the cost. But what she wasn’t aware of was that my opinion of Bishop had changed recently and that I was actually enjoying it now. Of course certain individuals may have swayed those feelings but it was, honestly¸ not as bad as I had originally thought.

  For most of the drive, I thought about Jaime and the story he’d shared with me about his family. I couldn’t imagine being away from them for ten years. And while the age factor had been a big deal for me at one point, it wasn’t so much anymore now that we’d gotten to know each other better. I thought about the other friends I had who were older than me, like my boss Joann or the even the parents of my friends. Sure they were older, but age was really only a number. It was more about how you acted and carried yourself.

  Right now though, Jaime and I were merely friends and nothing more. There was no reason to read more into the situation than what was really there. Okay, so we had shared a kiss. Big deal, it’s not like we were in a relationship, which couldn’t happen anyways since he’s in prison. Right? I really hoped I could talk about all of it with Monica this weekend and get her opinion. But I also didn’t want to sound bitchy either when I told her I wasn’t really interested in being fixed up with anyone at the moment. I could hear her now. She’d tell me I was nuts and was wrong about this thing with Jaime, especially when I’d tell her the part about him being incarcerated. I decided to just feel her out before mentioning specific details. As my best friend, she shouldn’t judge me but I know how my first reaction would be if she’d told me a similar story.

  I pulled into the parking lot of her apartment and remembered the first time she and I had come here to visit. We were high school seniors anxious to take the next big step in our lives. Two best friends living the good life—our own apartment, partying, you name it, we were going to do it. Just goes to show you how quickly things can change in the blink of an eye. Thanks mom and dad, I owe you one!

  Before I was able to send a text to Monica to let her know I was here, I looked up to see her running down the steps and over to my car.

  I jumped out and gave my best friend a hug. I had missed her so much.

  “Let me look at you. It feels like forever since we’ve seen each other.” She squealed as she took my hand and spun me around before giving me another gigantic hug. It hadn’t been that long but it was still good to see her.

  “Help me grab my things. I hope you’ve got something to eat because I’m starving.” I told her.

  Even though I was only staying for two nights, I somehow managed to pack two suitcases that were loaded down with clothes and shoes. I wasn’t certain what I should wear being on a “real” college campus, so I brought along several outfits. Monica would help me decide so I’d blend right in with everyone.

  “We’re meeting up with some of my friends over at Wings n’ Things so as soon as you’re ready we’ll go on over. They can’t wait to meet you.” I knew she was looking forward to introducing me to her new circle but I honestly just wanted to spend a quiet evening with her, maybe get a pizza, and have some serious girl talk. Neither of us were old enough to drink but we’d spent many nights sipping Kool-Aid in our “Best Friends” wine glasses while we’d chatted about the boys in our lives. Those were the days.

  Neither of us had seriously dated much, quite frankly we’d preferred each other’s company over that of some silly high school boy, but now that we’d reached adulthood, I yearned for our conversations to go to the next level. I needed some honesty about what was going on with my life but I somehow didn’t feel Monica would be so understanding of Jaime. She didn’t sense anything was wrong so I decided to hold off on bringing anything up just yet. I’d just have to save it for later.

  Since I hadn’t been able to share the apartment with her, she’d been left to find a roommate on her own. I felt terrible about it all but it hadn’t taken her long to find someone to replace me. In fact, she’d actually gotten pretty lucky. Mandy, the new roommate, spent the majority of her time over at her boyfriend’s place, so Monica, for the most part, had the apartment all to herself. Mandy still paid her half of the expenses and Monica was cool with that. I would be staying in Mandy’s room for the weekend and was glad since I’ve never been one for sleeping on the couch.

  I quickly changed into jeans and a sweater and pulled my hair up in a ponytail. I have a bad habit of twisting my hair while I drive or when I’m pre-occupied, in this case I’d had a double dose, so my hair looked a bit flat. A ponytail was a great alternative when you were having a bad hair day.

  Monica drove for us since she pretty much had learned her way around campus now. The college atmosphere here was definitely different from what I was experiencing at Bishop. We arrived at Wings ‘n Things and made our way to a back table. There were already six other people seated as well as three empty chairs.

  Monica made the introductions and everyone seemed nice and friendly, a group I could have blended well with too. I sat next to a guy named Greg and figured this was the guy Monica was so anxious for me to meet. He looked harmless enough and was sort of cute, but I just wasn’t feeling up for match making. I listened to everyone talk about what was going on in their lives and I couldn’t help but notice how juvenile they were all sounding. God, I was being such a bitch to think that about them. I needed to stop this mess right now. Just because they were enjoying themselves and living in a completely different environment didn’t give me the right to put them down because they were having a good time. I’m sure if I had been here from the beginning of the semester I’d be laughing right along wit
h them and it wouldn’t seem so juvenile then.

  I nibbled on some chips and salsa that was in the center of the table and sipped on my coke. Everyone was hyped up about the game and they should be. After all, this was what college life was all about. Finally, we placed our meal orders with a guy named Dave and I watched as Monica flirted shamelessly with him. When he walked away, she filled me in on the couple of dates they had been on and I completely understood her behavior. Dave and Greg were roommates and that’s why she had wanted us to meet. Both guys were attending the game with us tomorrow and she hoped I didn’t mind her already making the arrangements.

  Dave was cute and totally Monica’s type. He was tall with dark blonde hair that hung down to his eyes. I picked up on the way he would toss his head to the side causing his hair to fall back in place. He looked preppy and fit the rich boy mold to a tee. It made me question what my type was. Up until now, I probably would have found Dave attractive too but something inside had changed.

  Not wanting to seem rude, Greg and I started talking and I found myself enjoying the conversation. Monica was right, he was really sweet once you got to know him.

  After an hour or so, we each took care of our own meal tickets and everyone headed outside. I could hear the band playing in the distance along with the sounds of cheers and chants. The parade was underway and the streets were getting crowded.

  “Come on, the parade is starting.” Monica grabbed ahold of my hand and pulled me up to the curb. Greg followed behind, as well as the others, and we claimed our spot just outside of Wings ‘n Things. Before long, the parade procession was directly in front of us and it was hard not to feel the same excitement as everyone else. I joined in the cheering and chanting as each float passed. Greg stepped closer behind me, and when he wasn’t waving his hands in the air trying to catch the mini footballs and other knickknacks the parade revelers were throwing out, he’d place his hand on the small part of my back.