by Kira Blakely
I brushed the taste of alcohol and cigarettes from my teeth before venturing off the bus in the direction of the arena. A few fans screamed my name, but I rushed through the crowd for the private entrance. I didn’t need the extra attention.
The private area of the arena was crowded and loud, as I expected it to be. I pushed by various racers and their teams to the one team without a racer standing nervously at the front of the entrance. Chuck was the first one to catch sight of me as I approached them. The fury on his face didn’t match what I felt at that moment for him.
“Where the hell have you been?” Chuck hissed, grabbing me by the elbow. “I had to push off the press because I couldn’t get ahold of you. I had to call your little whore girlfriend back in that shithole town to try and figure out where the hell you went.”
“She’s not my girlfriend. Don’t call her a whore, either.”
“You smell like a bar,” he continued, shaking his head at me. “I can’t manage you if you—”
I wasn’t sure what happened next, aside from my knuckles colliding against Chuck’s nose. I relished the sound of bones crunching beneath my fist. Chuck tumbled to the floor with a stream of blood coming from his nose. He clasped at his face with a painful groan while staring up at me through watery eyes.
“What the fuck is your problem?” he shouted.
The entire entrance went quiet as I shook the pain out of my wrist. I glared down at him as he scrambled to his knees.
“You’re fired,” I said. “Get the fuck out of the arena. Get your shit out of my bus. You’re fucking fired.”
Chuck got to his feet. He swayed slightly as blood trickled down his chin. A few other managers for the racers behind and in front of me took a step forward to intervene. Cameras were swinging in our direction as security rushed forward.
“You can’t fire me,” Chuck shouted, pointing a fat finger at me. “You fucking prick. You can’t fire me. You’re going to break our contract, and I’ll sue your ass for everything that you got.”
I took a step forward, but security blocked me. They pushed me back as they grabbed Chuck by the elbows.
“Good!” I shouted back. “I’ll get to actually ride for fun instead of a damn paycheck. That’s all you fucking care about! I know what you did to Ava!”
Cheers erupted as soon as Chuck was escorted out of the entrance. I nodded curtly to everyone before gathering my gear from where it was draped over the bike. Billy came rushing up to me to help make sure that everything was fastened just right.
“Time for a new manager,” Billy said. “I’ll volunteer myself. I know you are more than a paycheck, bro.”
My head hurt like a bitch as I used Billy’s shoulder to steady myself. I didn’t know what to tell him since I knew that this race was undoubtedly going to be the last one. I couldn’t see straight. I was still intoxicated from the night before and also hopped up on energy drinks. My hands were shaking violently when Billy looked up at me with a frown.
“Thanks, man,” I said, patting him on the shoulder. “You’re a good friend and racer but I think this might be my last race.”
“What? Why?”
Billy straightened as I double checked the buckles on my boots. I nearly toppled over into my bike, so I pretended to be checking the air pressure in the tires.
“It’s a long ass story, Billy. I’ll make sure to tell you after I’m done with the race. I just want to get through today before something else happens.”
“Dude,” Billy said, getting close to me to whisper. “Are you drunk right now? Oh, shit. Here comes the reporter for ESPN.”
“Great,” I mumbled as I ran a hand over my eyes to wipe away the exhaustion there. “Are my eyes bloodshot?”
“Very,” Billy said grimly. “Look, man, your life is worth more than a few laps on this track. You know what I mean?”
“My life isn’t worth that much, Billy. Trust me on that.”
“Mr. Jacobs?”
Billy took a step back when the reporter from ESPN arrived at my side. I sucked in a deep breath to keep myself calm before turning to face the microphone and camera. I took in the red light on top of the camera, a sure sign that this was live television.
Compartmentalize here. Put your shit behind you. Focus.
“I was wondering if we could have a quick interview?” the reporter asked.
I forced a charming smile on my face. “Sure thing. I have some time.”
“You obviously are representing yourself now,” the reporter said. “What can we expect from you, now that you are on your own?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary. I can promise you all that.”
“So, you will be representing yourself from now on?”
“It appears that I will be,” I said. The announcer called out my name as a warning to be prepared to get ready. “Thank you, sir. I have to get ready here.”
“Of course. Jude Jacobs, everyone.” He turned to me when the camera lowered to the ground. Offering a hand for me to shake, he nodded at me in appreciation. “I’ve got say that I was happy to see that you were getting rid of that manager of yours. He’s a bit of a prick. Everyone at the station couldn’t stand dealing with him.”
“You won’t have to worry about that.” I adjusted my weight on the bike to push forward but I stopped when the reporter leaned in to whisper, “Look, I’m not supposed to do this but I think you’ve got a real talent for being in front of the camera. The network would love to have you. Just something to keep in mind in the future if you want to do something different.”
“Thanks,” I said, nodding. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
It was a good idea for me to think about later. I had no idea what I was going to do now but I didn’t care. I just wanted to go out there and ride freely for once. I didn’t want to think about anything else.
I did my usual lap around the arena. Which was a miracle, given that I couldn’t see straight worth shit. My wrist hurt like a bitch, too, as I took my spot in front of the counter. I pulled hard on the throttle when the light flashed green. The first hill felt wobbly beneath my legs as I soared through the sky. I landed it with a groan of pain when my wrist throbbed. I had to use my feet on the ground to steady myself upright again before taking off in the direction of a hill. I could barely see straight as I squinted my eyes.
I twisted the bike around to go in the opposite direction. My blood was pumping hard in my veins as I beelined for another hill. That was when my eyes landed on the press booth where I spotted Ava standing up to lean over the railing in my direction. My heart leaped in relief to see her but I also felt my bike falling from my hands and legs. I realized quickly that I was in serious trouble. Screams filled the air.
The ground rushed up toward me a few seconds later. Something hot landed on my right thigh before the rest of the world went black.
Chapter 30
Ava
A commotion farther down the tunnel caught my attention as I passed through various groups of fans and team members. I flashed a security pass at one of the security guards when he held up his hand at me before letting me go.
The commotion only got worse as I hurried along the entrance in the direction of the ramp that led out into the arena.
“Ladies and gentlemen! It’s time for the main event of the evening!”
Cheers broke out. The entire arena vibrated with energy as I rushed through the crowd in the direction of the arena. Racers were lined up and ready. I scanned the line for any sight of Jude before he entered the arena. He was at the very top half on his bike, already with an ESPN reporter whispering something into his ear before taking a step back. Jude nodded in acknowledgement before pulling on the throttle.
“Jude!” I shouted, trying desperately to get through the crowds. I had this overwhelming urge to let him know how much I loved him. “Jude!”
It was too late. Jude took off with his tires squealing against the concrete of the entrance before hitting the dirt in a cloud of dust.
<
br /> “Shit,” I whispered and started in the direction of the press booth. I would have to sit through an entire show for the first time if I wanted a second chance to talk to him. It was clear from my unanswered texts and phone calls that he didn’t want to talk to me.
That same commotion erupted behind me. I turned to see Chuck with a bloody nose being escorted out with police and security guards surrounding him on all sides. His eyes focused on me when he realized that I was standing a few feet away from him. I took in his nose, obviously swollen and broken, and a stab of satisfaction went through me. Whatever had happened before I arrived, he deserved it. He fucking deserved it for messing with my job but for also using Jude. There was no doubt in my heart that he would be the one pushing Jude over the edge from mismanagement.
“You!” he shouted, kicking a leg at me. “You did this. You hear me, bitch? I’m going to sue his ass and yours! You can bet your fucking life on it!”
I did the only thing that I could think to do right then. It was the only thing that felt right in expressing how I genuinely felt.
I flipped him off as the police dragged him in the direction of the exit. I grinned to myself when a chorus of cheers erupted while Chuck was dragged out, shouting obscenities in everyone’s direction.
“Hey, lady!”
I stopped short when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to find a young racer who could pass as a cowboy standing in front of me, from the tight jeans he wore and his cowboy hat. He was young, too. Maybe in his earlier twenties.
“You’ve been hanging around JJ, right?” he shouted over the noise. “I’m Billy, by the way. I race with JJ.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” I shouted back, pumping his hand quickly. “I need to get up there to—”
Billy pulled me in close to shout in my ear over the revving of the engine. “Listen, I don’t think that JJ is all right. I tried to tell him that it wasn’t worth his life but he wouldn’t listen to me.”
My heart contracted at the look that Billy gave me.
“You smelled alcohol on him?”
“Bad,” he said, nodding. “I don’t know what’s going on. He punched Chuck in the face, then fired him. I don’t know what he’s thinking but he never acts like this. Not since I’ve been racing with him for the past year.”
“Thank you for telling me. Let’s just hope that he gets through his show okay. I’ll try talking to him after.”
Billy looked at me skeptically. “Good luck with that, lady.”
Yeah, good luck with that. Jude was apparently in one of his dark and brooding moods if he had shown up intoxicated.
I climbed the steps to the press booth. Cheers echoed in the arena as I leaned over the railing to see where Jude was. I spotted him on his dirt bike, facing the counter while he waited for the green light. Even if my heart thrummed anxiously in my chest, I forced myself to stay there. Just for once. I had to stay through an entire show to prove that I supported him.
The energy in the arena was unreal as a chorus of Jude’s name echoed. His engine revved up when the green light flashed. I held my breath as he raced forward toward a hill to sail up into the air. To the rest of the world, they didn’t see it like I did. They didn’t see that small shake of the bike that was never there. He landed on both wheels, though, below the hill, but it was clear that something wasn’t right when he stuck a foot out to rebalance himself on the bike.
What had happened since he left?
I leaned across the railing, despite the security guard yelling at me to stop. Something wasn’t right. Jude was wobbling on the bike. He went for another hill. The stunts continued to get riskier and more dangerous. They weren’t coordinated, either. Not like the other times. The entire arena was on the edge of their seats because they sensed it, too. Something wasn’t right.
I clutched the railing as Jude twisted his bike around to face in my direction. Dirt sprayed up under the tires as he shifted to head straight for another hill. Even though his helmet obscured his entire face from view, I still felt his icy eyes land on me as he and the bike soared up into the sky. I could feel the burn of his eyes on me.
I stared across at him, breathless. The bike continued to drift farther away from his fingers but he quickly reached out to grab the bar. They toppled down to the earth in a tangle of limbs and metal. My heart sank to the balls of my feet as Jude crashed down hard to the ground with a sickening thud before rolling down the hill with the bike landing on top of his chest and thigh.
All hell broke loose in the arena. A scream escaped my throat. I was tempted to jump over the railing, to brave the long fall as medics and staff from the arena rushed out immediately to pull the bike off of him. Pain flashed through my fingers as I clutched the railing hard, with my eyes focused on the group of crouched people around a motionless Jude.
“We need the paramedics out on the field,” the announcer said grimly. “A board, please! Hurry.”
A board. Those words washed over me numbly as paramedics rushed onto the field with a board. They had strapped Andy to a damned board when they arrived at the quarry that night. It was never a good sign. That usually meant broken spines. A broken neck. Death.
The paramedics worked around Jude’s motionless body before they rolled him carefully, slowly onto the board. They hadn’t even pulled his helmet off yet. They lifted Jude up to carry him in the direction of the entrance. A chorus of claps and cheers followed but it was met with nothing. Jude remained utterly still on the board. I managed to leave the stands to hurry in the direction of the stairs. I used a hand on the railing to keep my feet from falling out from beneath me.
Security pushed me back when I tried to push through the crowd. I needed to get to Jude. I needed to hold his hand, to feel the life in him. Tears were streaking down my face as I tried to peer around the line of security guards who were pushing everyone to the side of the tunnel.
“Out of the way!” they shouted. “This is an emergency! We need to get him to the hospital immediately!”
“I need to get on that ambulance,” I shouted to one of the security guards. “Please. I have to—”
“No, ma’am. You can’t get in the ambulance unless you are family.”
“You don’t understand. Jude and I—”
“Ava!”
I twisted around in the chaos of the crowd. The constant echo of camera shutters filled the tunnel. I found Billy and his team rushing up to me. Their faces were pale white and stricken with fear like mine. Billy took ahold of my hand to drag me in the direction of the exit.
“Come on,” he shouted over the commotion. Fans were pushing all around us as the paramedics rushed Jude out. “They are loading him in the ambulance. We can take you to the hospital.”
“Thank you,” I cried, clutching Billy’s hand tightly in mine. “Thank you, Billy. Thank you.”
I prayed the entire time as the ambulance doors slammed shut when we reached the parking lot. Sirens screamed as the ambulance took off in the direction of the hospital. I prayed to God that Jude was alive. Not dead and strapped to a gurney like Andy had been years ago.
Chapter 31
Jude
I floated in and out of darkness for what felt like eternity. Voices echoed around me, along with horrified screams. Then, Ava’s voice in the background. Pain erupted inside me, no matter what limb I moved. Searing hot pain. The type of pain that instantly made my gut turn out of reflex. I had nothing left to puke out, either. I had clenched my eyes shut when the paramedics had rolled me onto a board. That was when I had wished for death to take me swiftly. Fuck it, if I was in front of millions of people. Death felt much better than that burning pain.
Darkness took me for a long time, then. The steady beep of machines filled my ears when I came back from the darkness. Warm blankets were draped over my legs. My head felt pleasantly fuzzy from whatever drugs I had been given throughout my time in unconsciousness. I didn’t feel anything. I was numb, and I liked it.
I forced my
eyes open to take in the large hospital room I was in. There were several machines around me. Two IVs were taped to my right forearm and wrist. There were several patches attached to my chest and head. Pain shot through me hard when I reached up to touch my bandaged forehead.
“Fuck,” I said, wincing. I glanced down at the bandages around my arm. “Sprain. Broken bones. What else happened?”
The door to the hospital room opened. A young nurse stepped in and saw my eyes were open and looking around. She smiled at me as she came to my bedside.
“Good to see you awake, Mr. Jacobs,” she said. “How are you feeling?”
I ran a tongue along my fuzzy teeth. I needed water. My entire mouth and tongue felt cracked and parched.
“Torn between being drugged and completely fucked up,” I said. “I can move my neck.”
That little fact made my heart race with relief. I stared down at my leg that was also wrapped in bandages and elevated in a sling.
“What about my leg?” I asked. “Is it…”
“Bruised,” the nurse said, patting my arm. “Your shoulder is severely sprained but I will let the doctor come in and talk to you about your injuries. Do you remember what happened?”
My mind floated back to the arena where I had seen Ava in the crowd. I remembered that rush of emotions at the sight of her before realizing that my bike was tumbling forward. I dimly remembered hitting the ground and the sear of the bike engine against my right thigh. Voices. I remembered the screams. That was it. Everything after that moment was dark and muddy.
“I crashed on my bike,” I said. “That part, I remember. Everything after that is a bit dark.”
“I imagine. Your head got a good lashing inside that helmet of yours, but the helmet did its job. You’ve only been in a coma for two days.”
“A coma?”
“Yes,” she said, nodding. “Coma. You came in with a concussion, so the doctor thought it’d be best to keep you asleep until the swelling went down.”
I shifted against the pillows that were pushed against my back uncomfortably. My clothes were gone, too. I had nothing on me that was mine. I searched the room while the nurse added another bag of liquids to my IV drip.