The Healer: First Touch

by Amy Clapp

  "I was only able to do it because you were there helping me."

  Varick shook his head in disagreement; his eyes never leaving mine. "No, Jacey. You did it. Just you." Varick leaned closer. He touched my face with his hand again, smiling slightly as he did. His eyes glanced down to my lips.

  My heart pounded and my stomach fluttered as Varick leaned closer. I could smell his cool, musky scent all around me. He was going to kiss me. And I wanted him to do it. Now.

  I closed my eyes and leaned toward Varick. I could vaguely hear Varick whisper some words in his language, words I didn't understand. But my body still responded, eager to have his lips on mine. I waited, eyes closed until I felt a softness brush over my lips, barely even touching them.

  "Uh, I'm sorry." It was Oma. "I thought I heard you talking. You have some visitors if you're feeling up to it."

  I opened my eyes and whirled my head toward my open bedroom door where Oma stood. Varick had sat up, creating a large space between us. I blushed at the thought of Oma walking in to see me and Varick almost kissing. I tried to smile anyway. I'm sure it looked awkward.

  "Yes, Oma. I can see visitors. Can you give me a minute?" I wanted her to leave, so I could turn my attention back to Varick. I still wanted my kiss. I glanced at Varick out of the corner of my eye.

  He was smiling as he stood up and addressed Oma. "That's fine. I was just leaving anyway." Varick started for the door where Oma was standing.

  "Wait," I called, throwing the blankets off and jumping out of my bed. I grabbed onto Varick's tattooed arm, to stop him. It worked. "Please don't go," I whispered to him. I wasn't aware of Oma anymore. It was just me and Varick in my bedroom, just a small space between us as my hand gripped his forearm. I was desperate to have him stay. "Don't leave." I was begging him, but I didn't care.

  Varick gently pulled away. His smile disappeared. "See to your visitors. I will be around. I'm never far away. And besides, I need to check on Asim. He's been alone while I've been here with you. Who knows what trouble he's gotten himself into." He rolled his eyes dramatically and turned to leave again.

  "Varick, wait," I called out again. But I didn't touch him. I stood in the middle of my room, helplessness surrounding me.

  Varick turned and closed the distance between us. He took both of my hands in his as he faced me. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "I think it's better that I'm not around when you see your visitors. Too many questions." Varick tilted his head to look at me.

  Nodding, I squeezed his hands, loving the feel of them in mine. He squeezed my hands in response while he smiled at me.

  "I'll see you later tonight."

  Varick turned as if he was going to leave, but thought better of it and turned back to face me. With our hands still intertwined, he pulled me close so our faces almost touched. He smiled rakishly before he placed a soft kiss on the top of my nose. The intimate contact sent bolts of electricity straight to my heart. I took a deep breath, gasping at the charge his light kiss brought me.

  "See you later," he said as he pulled back and turned toward the door. Oma moved so Varick could leave. She didn't look pleased.

  Once Varick was gone, Oma stared at me, her hands firmly planted on her hips. She shook her head disapprovingly at me.

  I rolled my eyes at Oma, before bending over to pick up jeans and a shirt from my bedroom floor. I tried to squeeze past her to move into the bathroom but Oma stayed firmly in her place.

  "Oma, I need to get through."

  Oma just stared at me with disapproving eyes.

  "What?" I tried hard to keep the annoyance from my voice.

  "I just wish you would listen to me about your relationship with Varick."

  "I know what I'm doing." I couldn't help the irritation seeping in.

  "I don't think a romantic relationship is good for either of you."

  "Our relationship is not romantic." Not yet anyway. "We care about each other, but it's not what you think."

  "That's not what it looked like, Jacey."

  I stared back at Oma, the irritation now plain on my face and in my voice.

  "Oma, just say it. Just say why you don't want me and Varick to get any closer. Why are you meddling so much?" I held my clothes to my body.

  Oma sighed and dropped her hands from her waist. Her face softened and I thought I could see tears beginning to fill her eyes. "I already told you, Jacey. I'm just afraid. I can see the same strong attraction between you and Varick that I saw between your mother and father. And look at what that got them."

  "Yeah...me."

  "That's not what I meant. You are the best, the very best part of their relationship. But the rest; well, it wasn't easy."

  "But Oma, relationships are never easy. You and Opa didn't always have it easy."

  Oma smiled and I knew I was winning the argument.

  "I know you're afraid, Oma. But, I care about Varick and I know he cares about me."

  "But what about Jamie?"

  "Jamie?" I blinked my eyes. Why was she bringing him up?

  "Do you care about him?" Oma stared at me, her gaze probing.

  "Well, yeah, I care about him." I shrugged my shoulders casually.

  "No, Jacey. Do you care about him like you do for Varick? I know Jamie cares a lot about you. I can see that when he looks at you."

  Before I answered, I thought of Jamie. I remembered our last encounter and the kiss we had shared in his Jeep. I brought my hand to my lips as if I could still feel him there.

  "Do you care about Jamie as you do Varick?"

  I turned my gaze back to Oma. "I think I do," I said, dropping my hand from my mouth.

  Oma smiled at my response.

  "Now what do I do?" I whispered, my eyes wide. I was so confused.

  "Nothing," Oma answered as she walked over to me to place her hands on my arms. "You do nothing more than what you are doing right now. Your heart will tell you what to do."

  Oma placed a tender kiss on my forehead before she turned to leave me alone in my bedroom.

  I stared after her, still clutching my clothes. I cared deeply for both of them. That was true. I couldn't deny it. Both Varick and Jamie created confusing, strong emotions inside me. I didn't know what to do.

  "Jacey, are you coming down?" Oma's sweet voice called up the stairs and drifted into my bedroom. Her words brought me back to the present and the visitors waiting for me downstairs.

  "Yeah, just a minute. I'll be right down." I ran into the bathroom to shower and change before heading down the stairs.

  When I finally reached the living room, I couldn't see anyone. I heard muffled voices but I wasn't sure if they were coming from the back deck or the front porch.

  "Oma?"

  "Out here, Jacey. On the porch."

  I walked out to the front porch to greet my visitors. I opened the front door and saw Jamie standing at the far end of the porch leaning against the railing. His arms were crossed in front of him. He was frowning when I walked onto the porch, but grinned when he saw me.

  Next to him was Emma. She had been talking, but stopped when I stepped onto the porch. "Jacey!" she ran to throw her arms around me. "Oh my god, Jacey. Unbelievable. Just unbelievable," she breathed excitedly in my ear.

  "Okay," I laughed, hugging her back. She released me, stepping back next to Jamie by the railing.

  Sitting next to Emma in one of the white wicker chairs was Cathy. She smiled as she started to stand. "Please don't stand up," I cautioned. Cathy ignored me and stood to embrace me. I hugged her back. Her shoulders began to shake underneath me and I heard a small sob.

  "Thank you, Jacey. Thank you so much for the gift you gave me. Thank you. Thank you." I hugged her tighter, fighting back my own tears. I glanced at Oma, who was standing next to us, her hands covering her mouth, attempting to silence the intense emotion she was feeling.

  We stood on the front porch embracing until Cathy stepped back and released me. "How can I ever repay you for what you've given me? You've gi
ven me my life back." Tears of joy and gratitude rolled down her cheeks as she gripped my hands. I smiled, feeling warm around my heart. Cathy looked totally different than how she had looked on Sunday. Her skin was no longer yellow. She looked vibrant and healthy, her cheeks pink from her emotions. She no longer appeared to be in pain as she stood in front of me, gripping my hands tightly.

  "I know how you can repay me," I smiled.

  "Anything, Jacey. Absolutely anything." Cathy's voice was husky.

  "I'll take one of your delicious rhubarb pies."

  Cathy hugged me and started crying all over again. I hugged her back and glanced at Oma to see her own eyes were wet with tears. "Thank you," she mouthed silently. I smiled even broader. As I embraced Cathy, my eyes traveled around me settling on Oma, then Emma, and lastly on Jamie. I was confused by Jamie's posture and expression. Where the others were smiling and tearful, Jamie's face was cold. His body was stiff as he stood up against the railing. I wondered what I had done to warrant this response from him yet again. But then I noticed he wasn't looking at me, but past me, to the far end of the porch. I turned my head to see what had captured Jamie's attention and his ire.

  My eyes grew wide with shock. "Varick," I choked, my voice near a whisper. I felt light headed as I stared at him. Varick also was leaned up against the porch railing, much like Jamie, but Varick's arms weren't crossed in front of him. Instead, he was leaning on his elbows that were resting on the rail behind him. A sly smirk played on his face. But Varick wasn't looking at me. His gaze went to the other end of the porch. To Jamie.

  -Twenty-Four-

  I swallowed hard and stared at Jamie and Varick, but they didn't seem to notice me. Jamie glared at Varick and Varick smirked at Jamie. I heard Emma talking fast, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence the guys' stares had caused, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. My mind had grown numb from the panic of seeing Varick and Jamie together. How am I going to explain things to both of them?

  Sensing the tension, Oma graciously excused herself and Cathy and entered the house. Oma suggested to Emma that she should come with them, but Emma answered, "Are you kidding? This promises to be a really good show."

  Jamie spoke first. "Well, Jacey. Aren't you going to introduce us?" His voice was lower and harsher, than normal. He still wasn't looking at me.

  Varick's smirk broadened into a mischievous grin. His eyes twinkled as he stood straight and began to walk towards me and Jamie. As he passed, he stopped just long enough to glance my way and wink. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. I glanced at Jamie, who visibly bristled at the sight of Varick's wink.

  Varick walked toward Jamie and I followed. "Varick," I feebly whispered, hoping that he would just leave. Jamie was taller and bigger than Varick and I was afraid Varick would do something to provoke Jamie. Jamie looked like he would readily oblige.

  Varick walked calmly up to Jamie and extended his right hand to shake. "I'm Varick." He was still smirking as he awaited Jamie's response. I winced when Jamie did not accept Varick's hand, but looked Varick up and down, finally settling on his face.

  Jamie nodded stiffly. His jaw flexed as his arms remained across his chest.

  I glanced between Varick, Jamie and Emma uneasily. Before Varick could provoke Jamie anymore, I stepped in.

  "Ah, Jamie, this is Varick. And Varick this is Jamie." My voice trembled. I moved and stood almost between the two of them. Varick's hand was still outstretched toward Jamie.

  The silence that followed was thick with tension. Emma's eyes were wide, watching with excitement. I half expected her to break out in giggles and start clapping like a young child, her excitement was so pronounced.

  I broke the silence again, still glancing between the two of them. "Jamie, Varick is my Protector. It is his duty to protect me from anything that may harm me." I stared at Jamie warily, silently praying to myself that Jamie would just shake Varick's hand and get over it. Varick shook his own hand slightly, reestablishing the desire to shake Jamie's hand.

  Jamie remained rigid as he spoke through clenched teeth. "Protector? You don't need a protector. I told you, Jacey, I won't let anything hurt you. Ever." His eyes shifted to mine as he spoke.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Varick drop his hand, shoving it and his left hand in his pockets. He looked like he was enjoying this. I sure wasn't.

  I gently placed my arm on Jamie's. "Varick didn't choose to be my Protector. It was what he was born to do. He doesn't have a choice," I tried to explain.

  "Yes, all true, but I would choose to protect her even if it wasn't the reason for my existence." Varick's eyes sparkled with mischief. He was goading Jamie! I turned to look at him. Why is Varick acting this way?

  "Really?" Jamie answered slowly. I didn't know if he was answering me or Varick. Maybe it was just his way of answering us both.

  "Jamie, please don't be like this," I pleaded, keeping my hand on Jamie's arm. Jamie released his hands from in front of him, my hand dropping away from him. He seemed to stand a bit taller, puffing his chest out a little wider as he stood in front of Varick. Varick still just smirked in response. I almost hoped Jamie would do something to wipe the stupid grin off of Varick's face. The panic I had been experiencing was quickly changing to irritation at both guys. They were acting so childish. And so jealous.

  "She doesn't need you anymore. I can take care of her just fine." Jamie was gritting his teeth as he spoke.

  "Really?" Varick raised one eyebrow at Jamie and moved his hands to his hips.

  "Yes, really," Jamie countered.

  "Do you even know what you'd be up against?"

  "Varick, don't," I pleaded, "Please." But neither of them was listening.

  "Uh, yeah. I do," Jamie stuttered momentarily, glancing quickly at me.

  "You do, huh?" Varick was still enjoying this. "You know what you would be protecting her from?"

  "Yes, she told me the other night. Right before we kissed." It was Jamie's turn to smirk.

  If Varick was affected by Jamie's comment, he didn't show it. Instead Varick stared intently at Jamie. "Did she tell you how evil the creature is coming for her? How you never quite know what you will be fighting? That it changes from a ferocious beast to a faceless creature with deadly magical powers? Did she tell you all that?"

  Jamie blinked, visibly shaken by Varick's description. "Uh, well, not exactly," he responded slowly.

  "Did she tell you that if it gets her, it will suck her healing powers from her making it even stronger and leaving her dead. Did she tell you that?"

  Jamie glanced at me again nervously. I grimaced, not only from Jamie's reaction but also from Varick's vivid descriptions. I formed mental images of the frightening creature that desired me.

  "Can you protect her from all that?" Varick's tone was condescending as he tilted his head as he glared at Jamie.

  "Um, yes, I think so."

  Varick leaned in a little closer to Jamie, looking him directly in the eyes. "I know I can."

  I held my breath waiting for Jamie's response. His face was blank as he stared back at Varick. Varick straightened, taking a couple steps back from Jamie. The smirk had returned to Varick's lips. Jamie finally took a deep breath. He looked at me and attempted to smile. I knew Jamie was trying to control his emotions that no doubt were telling him he should fight Varick. But he didn't. I think for my benefit. I smiled weakly in return.

  "Jacey, you did an amazing thing by healing Cathy. It truly is a miracle. I just wanted to come over and tell you that."

  "Thanks, Jamie." My voice was soft, almost apologetic.

  "I can see that you have other visitors here demanding your attention. I'll come over when it's not so crowded."

  I nodded.

  Jamie pushed past Varick who was standing in front of him. Varick's smirk broadened as he stepped aside, allowing Jamie to leave.

  "It was nice to finally meet you," Varick said to Jamie's back. Jamie stopped, his shoulders bunching up. I stared at Varick, my e
yes narrowing with irritation. Why is Varick doing this?

  Jamie straightened and then relaxed. He didn't turn around. Instead he walked toward the street where his Jeep was parked. I watched helplessly as Jamie walked down the driveway and then I turned to Varick with an accusing glare.

  "What?" Varick asked.

  "Nice," I replied sarcastically. I bounded down the front steps after Jamie.

  "Wait!" I ran to catch up to him before he drove off.

  Jamie looked up, surprised to see me. "What is it?"

  "I just don't want you to leave like this is all."

  "It's alright, Jacey. I'll come around another time."

  "But Jamie, I feel like I need to explain a little. About Varick I mean." I twisted my hands together. It was hard looking at Jamie in the eye.

  "You don't need to explain. He did a pretty good job of that already." Jamie jerked his head in the direction of Oma's porch as he spoke.

  I turned to look at the porch. Both Varick and Emma were watching us.

  "I'm sorry Jamie."

  Jamie smiled. He reached his hand to my face, took a piece of my hair that had blown across my face, and tucked it behind my ear. His hand lingered there, his fingers gently tracing down my jaw line to my chin. His touch was soft and caring, yet somehow sad. Then he bent his head and kissed me. Unlike his caress, there wasn't anything gentle about this kiss. It was hard, his lips crushing mine. When he lifted his lips off mine, he smiled triumphantly, turning back at the porch to see if Varick had seen. I brought my fingers to my lips, shocked at Jamie's impulsive action.

  Jamie turned to his Jeep. "See ya later, Jace," he said as he started the vehicle. "Don't forget. You still owe me pizza."

  As I watched Jamie drive down the street, I rubbed my lips lightly with my fingers. Dropping my hand to my side I turned and walked slowly toward the porch where Varick and Emma stood. Varick was obviously amused.

  "What's so funny?" I asked, rather harshly.

  "Oh, nothing," Varick answered, still smiling. My eyes narrowed at him.

  "Hey, Jace. Will you introduce me to your friend?" Emma lightly interrupted, obviously trying to change the atmosphere.