Scrap Everything

by Leslie Gould

Elise took Pepper’s hand. She couldn’t see anything. “Where is it?”

  Pepper took Elise’s hand and positioned it just down from the crook of her elbow. “Here.”

  The blood in Pepper’s arm rushed back and forth. Elise cringed. “What is it?” It felt like a little alien had possessed Pepper.

  Rebekah laughed. “They attached a vein and an artery yesterday. It will make the vein strong enough for dialysis.”

  “Dialysis? Has it come to that?” Elise felt Pepper’s arm again, felt the B blood rushing through the artery to the vein. She stepped backward.

  “We’re getting close.” Rebekah opened another box.

  Elise felt a little queasy. What would Rebekah think of her if she knew she might be a possible match but was unwilling to be tested?

  “One more week until you fly out, right?” Sandi asked Elise.

  Elise nodded, unable to speak.

  “John said that Ted is worried about his old unit. The one in Iraq.”

  “Really?” Elise found her voice. Ted hadn’t said a word.

  “Seems an anesthesiologist has been sick, and the other ones are exhausted.” Sandi ran a price sticker over another package.

  What was Sandi getting at?

  “Those tent hospitals really sound like something.” Sandi slapped another sticker on a package.

  “They’re state-of-the-art.” Elise picked up a Fastenater package. She would start on Mark’s book when they got home from Germany. “The operating rooms are totally sealed, air-conditioned, and fully equipped. Just like a regular operating studio.”

  “Does Ted want to go to Iraq?” Sandi asked.

  “Sandi.” Rebekah tossed a Fastenater package at her. “Don’t talk that way. Elise and the boys are going to Germany for Christmas. She doesn’t want to think about Iraq.”

  Sandi shrugged her shoulders. “John thinks Ted wants to go.”

  Elise sighed. It wasn’t Sandi; it was John. He should stay out of it. “I’m sure there’s a part of Ted that wants to go, but he promised years ago that he wouldn’t volunteer without me being one hundred percent in favor.” Elise dropped the package on the table. “Orders are one thing; volunteering is another.” Her cell phone rang. “It’s Ted. Bye, you guys. See you soon.”

  “Sandi …” Rebekah’s voice faded as Elise headed out the door.

  “Hi, Ted. You saved me from Sandi telling me your dad’s opinion.”

  “About?”

  “Never mind.” She walked quickly. “How are you?”

  They chitchatted for a few minutes. Was he going to bring up her blood type again? He hadn’t re-sent the e-mail to Michael.

  “Do you remember Robert Steward? He was in my unit in Afghanistan.” Ted’s voice grew serious.

  She did. A short, stocky man with four daughters.

  “He’s been in Iraq, in Balad, with my old unit. He’s sick. They’re flying him to Landstuhl today, then most likely on to Brooke Medical for more tests.”

  “That’s who Sandi was talking about. Ted, it’s really awkward when you tell your dad stuff before you tell me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “What’s wrong with Robert?” She ducked under the awning along the beauty shop.

  “They don’t know. He’s been sick with intestinal problems for a couple of weeks; it could be a parasite.”

  She hurried across the street. Robert’s wife, Bea, was a strong, no-nonsense person. She also had lived in Georgia while Robert and Ted were in Afghanistan together. Her two older girls had gone to the same school as Mark and Michael. “Where’s Bea now?”

  “Illinois, in her hometown. I think she’ll meet Robert at Brooke.” Ted paused. “They’re looking for someone to take his place.”

  “Ted.” She started up the hill, toward the bridge.

  “I just wanted you to know.”

  “Why?”

  “Colonel Shelton to OR.” A woman’s garbled voice could be heard in the background.

  “I’m being paged.”

  “Don’t vol—”

  “I love you.”

  He was gone.

  Pepper!” Rebekah stood at the bottom of the staircase. “We’re leaving.”

  “I just need to get my paint chips, to show Ainsley.”

  “We have to leave now!” Rebekah crossed her arms. Pepper had already missed the bus.

  Reid stood in the dining room. “I have a test first period.”

  “I know.” Rebekah threw him the keys. “Go start the truck. We’ll be right out.”

  “This is what I mean, Mom. You spoil her.”

  “And scrape the windshield.” It had frosted overnight but promised to be a clear, sunny day. Rebekah started up the stairs. “Pepper—”

  “Mom, Ainsley is leaving for California tomorrow. I have to show her what color I’ve decided to paint my room.”

  Rebekah stopped in Pepper’s doorway. “I’m going out to the truck right now. If you’re not in it by the time I drive away, you’ll stay home today or find another way to school.”

  “Fine. I’ll call Dad.” Pepper opened her desk drawer.

  “No, you won’t call Dad. He misses enough work as it is.” Rebekah turned on her heel and grabbed her coat.

  Pepper ran out of the house as Rebekah put the truck in reverse, her coat and backpack in one hand, her shoes in the other. She dove into the backseat, laughing. “It’s a good thing the ground is frozen. Otherwise my socks would be covered with mud.”

  Rebekah turned onto the highway. “It’s a good thing you get your allowance tomorrow, because you’re buying three new pairs of socks.”

  “Mom,” Pepper pouted in the backseat, “that’s not fair.”

  Reid smiled. Rebekah turned on the radio.

  Rebekah hurried down the back steps and climbed the fence into the pasture. She walked quickly, clapping her hands against the frosty afternoon, and then began to run along the fence line. The shop had been busy with husbands and kids coming in to shop for Christmas. She had sold twelve gift certificates, lots of tools, and several albums. The ladies had stayed away, though, doing shopping of their own.

  The late-afternoon light faded as the sun set behind the hills. Another few days and it would be the winter solstice. The cold air bit at her lungs, and Rebekah slowed to a jog. She had a destination: Sky had a favorite pole that he kept leaning against, which needed to be reset. She was going to flag it and hopefully fix it after church in the morning. Mostly, she just needed some fresh air and time alone before tackling the house. Her parents were coming for Christmas.

  She had hoped that this would be a happy Christmas, that a kidney would be lined up for Pepper, that their worries would be over. Mandy had died just before the first Christmas Pepper was with them. It had been bittersweet. Rebekah had grieved for Mandy’s lost life, for Pepper’s loss, and for Polly’s. But hope had grown in Rebekah that Pepper could be legally theirs. She and Patrick had prayed every day together. They had set aside a weekend and fasted, begging God for his direction, for what was best for Pepper. Rebekah knew God was in control, that it was up to him.

  Even four years ago when Pepper was so sick, she had relied on God.

  What had changed? Patrick had always been a worrier, but it had grown worse since they had moved from Portland to the farm, and opening the shop had added to his worries. But it wasn’t his fault she had stopped trusting.

  Low clouds settled over the forest, and the fog rolled slowly down the hill toward the pasture. Were they irresponsible to have moved? Had she taken too big a risk in opening the shop? Was that why she was having a hard time trusting God? She frowned. She had been feeling as if her decisions, her desires, had made things worse and that it was up to her to make things right.

  God, she prayed, please teach me to trust you again.

  Don’t be afraid.

  Rebekah slowed to a walk, out of breath. Fear. She was so afraid, afraid of losing Pepper, afraid of losing everything. She stopped at the post and grasped the top
with her gloved hands. She shook it, hard. It definitely needed to be reset. Sky whinnied, far away. The other horses had already gone to the barn. She knelt and ran her hand along the dirt around the pole. Perhaps a mole had dug close by. A tuft of fur fell from the wire. She picked it up. Golden fur. She stood. Maybe it was from a coyote, maybe not.

  Sky whinnied again, this time closer. She whistled. The last of the light faded as the horse ran toward her through the fog. “Come on, boy.” She grabbed his mane and swung onto his back. “Let’s go home.”

  Rebekah sat next to Patrick on the hard wooden pew. Candles lit the sanctuary, and greenery filled every windowsill. One week until Christmas Day. The choir filed off the stage as Elise squeezed in next to Rebekah. Michael and Mark shoved each other into the row behind, next to Pepper and Reid. Mark wore sports pants and a sweatshirt, and his hair stuck out in twenty directions.

  The winter sun shone through the stained-glass window of the nativity scene to Rebekah’s right, making the blues, reds, and purples of the window vibrate in the intense light. Pastor Jim stood on the platform, leaning his tall, lanky body forward slightly. He stroked his goatee and then began speaking about Mary and Jesus. It wasn’t the typical baby-in-the-manager sermon. He read from John 2, about the wedding in Cana. “Do whatever he tells you,” Mary told the servants before Jesus turned the water into wine.

  “Why did Mary have such confidence in Jesus?” Pastor Jim asked as he sat down on a white stool. “Because she knew he was kind and compassionate and could be trusted with both the big and small things in life.”

  Kind and compassionate. Rebekah’s eyes filled with tears. He felt compassion toward Pepper. He could be trusted. He could turn their water into wine.

  Patrick nudged her. Was he getting the same thing out of the sermon? He nudged her again and pointed at her purse. It was vibrating. She dug out her cell. It was an incoming call from the hospital. She tripped over Elise’s small feet as she struggled out of the row and dashed up the side aisle. Pepper’s and Reid’s faces floated by. She reached the double doors and hit Talk. Dear God, sweet Jesus, could it be?

  “We have a kidney,” Jamie’s voice sang. “It looks like a match. We need you up here ASAP.”

  Thank you, God. Rebekah tried her hardest to walk down the aisle. Was she running? God had taught her to trust again and had provided a kidney, all in one moment.

  “Mary knew Jesus was her Savior. Not only was she willing to tell the servants to trust him, but she was willing to trust him too.” Pastor Jim paused.

  First she tapped Pepper, then Elise and Patrick, motioning to each to follow her.

  “Christ’s kindness continues to all of us today, every day.” The pastor smiled. Rebekah smiled back. She was sorry to disrupt his sermon, but she knew he would understand. Patrick shook his head. “Come on!” she mouthed, grabbed her Bible, and led the parade out the door to the steps of the church.

  “We have a kidney!” She hugged Pepper, then Patrick, and then Elise. “We need to go now.”

  Pepper beamed and slipped her arms into her coat.

  “Now?” Patrick’s arms dangled at his side.

  “Now.” Rebekah turned to Elise. “Can you take Reid and feed the horses tonight and in the morning? And Bear? My parents are coming Wednesday, but I’ll ask them to come tomorrow, because I know you fly out on Tuesday. I’ll call Sandi too. And Reid. Tell him I’ll call as soon as you guys get out of church.”

  Elise nodded. “Just let me know what else you need.” She wiped away a tear. Rebekah hugged her, and then Elise hugged Pepper. “I’ll be praying for you, sweet pea.”

  Elise had called Pepper by her pet name. Gratitude washed over Rebekah. “Thank you, Elise. Isn’t it incredible? My phone rang just as the pastor spoke about Christ’s compassion and kindness.”

  Elise nodded. “Mary, his mother, trusted him.”

  “And I will trust him too.”

  Sandi threw open the door. “What’s up? I was in the balcony and saw all of you leaving.”

  “There’s a kidney for Pepper!” exclaimed Rebekah as she reached over to hug Sandi.

  “I’m going to get the truck,” Patrick said. He took Rebekah’s Bible and ran down the stairs, two at time.

  Sandi broke away from Rebekah and hugged Pepper.

  “You know what this means?” Pepper asked.

  What is she thinking? Is she afraid? Rebekah stepped toward her daughter.

  “Someone died.”

  “Oh, sweet pea, you’re right.” Rebekah’s heart sank as she wrapped her arms around Pepper. “Let’s pray for the family—pray that they will feel Christ’s compassion and kindness, that they will trust him.” Rebekah reached for Pepper’s hand and for Elise’s; they reached for Sandi’s hands. “Dear Lord,” Rebekah prayed, “thank you for teaching me to trust again.” Then she prayed for the family of the donor and for a successful surgery for Pepper.

  As Rebekah said, “Amen,” Elise hugged Pepper again—relieved for Pepper, relieved for herself. Would she ever tell Rebekah she had type B blood? Probably not. Elise turned toward her friend. “We can stay at your place tonight if that helps.”

  “Really? I know you’re busy. I didn’t want to ask.”

  “It would work great; I’m almost packed.”

  Rebekah laughed. “You would be.”

  Sandi slipped back into the church, but Elise stood on the steps of the church as Patrick pulled Rebekah’s truck onto the street, hugging her arms around her body until they drove away. She turned and headed through the carved double doors of the church.

  “May you be blessed this Christmas by Christ’s kindness and compassion.” Pastor Jim smiled. A young woman walked slowly down the aisle with a candle to mark the fourth Sunday of Advent. The congregation stood. Elise slipped into the pew. It was going to be a wonderful Christmas, maybe the best ever. Pepper would have a new kidney, she and the boys would be in Germany, and Ted would be home for good in just three weeks.

  Forest Falls wasn’t all bad. She still wanted to move, but visiting would be easier now. She could stop by the shop, maybe ride with Rebekah. They would keep in touch; she was sure. Maybe the Grahams would come to Seattle to visit.

  As the congregation sang “Joy to the World,” she turned her head and caught a glimpse of Sandi and John in the balcony. When they came back to visit, would Sandi and John be married? Maybe this Christmas wasn’t going to be absolutely perfect; she still felt guilty about not wanting John to go to Germany with them.

  Pastor Jim stood with his hand over his brow and scanned the congregation. “Can anyone tell me why the Grahams left early?”

  “There’s a kidney waiting for Pepper!” Sandi called out from the balcony. The congregation began to clap. Elise sat down.

  Pastor Jim held up his hands. “Let’s pray.”

  Elise packed the last of her rolled clothes into her suitcase. In three weeks, Ted could deal with Mark’s schoolwork. They could go to Seattle and look at houses, check out schools, and decide what part of town they would live in.

  She headed down the hall to fold the load of clothes in the dryer. The basketball bounced against the garage. “Mark?” She poked her head into the family room. “I thought you were out playing basketball.”

  “I got bored.”

  “You need to pack pajamas and a change of clothes to go to Rebekah’s.”

  He shook his head. “I’ll do it later.” The zooming sound of the computer game buzzed in her head.

  “We need to leave in a few minutes.”

  “Leave?”

  “To go to Rebekah’s.”

  “We’re spending the night? Again?”

  He hadn’t registered a word she’d said. “Turn off the computer.” Her frustration rose. She took a deep breath. Pepper was getting a kidney. She could deal with Mark. He hated to travel, hated Germany. He was probably just feeling anxious, and she needed to show him compassion. “On second thought, play one more game, okay, Mark? Then you can get packed.�
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  He turned his head. “What’s with you?”

  She smiled.

  He fixed his eyes back on the computer game. “I don’t want to feed the horses.”

  “You enjoyed it before.”

  “No, I only pretended to.”

  “Mark,” Elise scolded, “your father and I didn’t raise you to act like this. Pepper is getting a kidney, and we need to help them.”

  “Get Reid and Michael to help. They never do anything with the horses.”

  “They don’t like to ride.”

  “Who says that I do?” Mark’s plane went down, and crash noises exploded out of the speaker as he threw his hands up in the air.

  “That isn’t the point. Anyway, you can’t stay here by yourself.”

  Mark started another game.

  “One more game.” She held up her index finger.

  “Right.” Mark leaned to the left, pulling on the joystick.

  Bear barked as Elise pulled into Rebekah’s driveway, under the bare elms. The horses trotted toward the fence, their heads held high. Elise grabbed her overnight bag as the boys piled out of the car. “Mark and Michael, grab your backpacks.” The wind whistled through the tops of the spruce trees.

  Elise rubbed Bear’s head and started toward the horses, her bag slung over her shoulder. “Hi, there.” She rubbed Sky’s neck. He tipped his head to the side. “Did you know Pepper is getting a kidney today? I bet she already told you, huh? I bet she gave you a long good-bye.”

  Rebekah had said that Pepper would have to stay in Portland for a month in case she had an emergency, first in the hospital and then with their old neighbors. Rebekah and Patrick would take turns staying with her. Sandi had promised to run the store on her days off; Rebekah expected to juggle the other days; Elise had offered to help once she was back from Germany.

  Elise scratched Sky between his ears, and Reid pulled the spare key from a fake rock under the deck and unlocked the door.

  “I’ll need help with the horses in about an hour.” Elise dropped her overnight bag in the kitchen. “Hey, Mark.” She turned toward the desk. “Let me on Rebekah’s computer—”