Scrap Everything

by Leslie Gould

  “Thanks.” Pepper slipped out of hers and dropped it by the wall.

  “I’m getting something to drink. Do you want something?”

  Pepper nodded, pulling Elise’s coat around her.

  “And how about some popcorn?” Elise took her wallet from her purse.

  “Please.” Pepper shivered. “I went to Ainsley’s after school, but we didn’t have any dinner. Her mom had to take a neighbor to Salem. Then her brother gave us a ride, but he dropped us off downtown, and we walked here.”

  “I think your mom went looking for you.” Elise paid the cashier.

  “Uh-oh.”

  “Here, use my cell. Give her a call.”

  Pepper dialed the number just as Rebekah hurried through the door, her cell phone in her hand.

  Pepper held up Elise’s phone. “That’s me calling you.”

  “Where have you been?” Rebekah’s cowboy boots echoed through the breezeway. Ainsley and the older boys stopped talking.

  “Mom.” Pepper slipped out of Elise’s coat.

  “Pepper.” Rebekah shoved her cell back into her pocket. “I looked everywhere.”

  Pepper tossed the coat to Elise as she hurried toward her mother. “Shh. You sound like Dad.”

  “I don’t care who I sound like, young—”

  Elise ducked back into the gym.

  Elise waited in the Volvo for Michael. Why hadn’t she brought a book? The rain pelted the roof of the car and cascaded down the windshield. She had forgotten how much it rained in the Northwest—day after day, week after week, month after month.

  Her cell phone rang. Ted. She hoped he wouldn’t bring up the kidney stuff. The last two times he had called he had urged her to be tested; she didn’t want to dread his calls.

  “How are you?” he asked. They talked about the surgeries and about the mortars that had fallen on base. “It was nothing.” They covered the basketball game, the boys, the weather, and how Mark was doing in school.

  “I need to keep checking in with his teachers,” Elise said.

  “What if you don’t? What if you leave it up to Mark?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, maybe the less responsibility you take, the more he will.”

  “What if he flunks?”

  “Better for him to fail now than next year.”

  “What if he ends up taking this year over?”

  “It will be his choice.”

  Easier said than done. She shook her head in the darkness.

  Ted changed the subject. “It sounds like Dad spends a lot of time with this Sandi.”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Elise said.

  “He sounds happier. The happiest he’s been since Mom died,” he added.

  “Does it bother you?” She slouched against the seat.

  “No. Maybe a little. Mostly, though, I think it’s a good thing, a really good thing for him.” The rain let up just a little. Michael followed Reid out of the locker room. Elise turned her head. Rebekah’s truck was parked on the far side of the parking lot with the engine running. Pepper was probably in the backseat, wrapped in a blanket.

  “Here comes Michael. I’ll let you talk to him while I drive home.” She turned on her lights. “I love you.”

  Elise locked the back door behind her and turned toward the kitchen table. Mark held the phone between his head and chin. “Uh-huh.” A half-filled bowl of Frosted Flakes sat on the table in front of him. He ran a spoon through the milk and cereal. “That will work.”

  Had Ted called Mark as soon as he hung up from talking to Michael?

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.”

  It couldn’t be Ted.

  “Hi.” Mark smiled. He seemed in a good mood. “How was the game?”

  “Good. They won.”

  “How did you do, Mikey?” Mark shoved the spoon into his mouth.

  “Fifteen points, seven assists.”

  “Cool.” Mark took another bite, spitting a drop of milk onto his chin.

  “Who was on the phone?” Elise picked up the box of cereal. She stopped. Mark should put it away. Never mind. It was faster if she did it.

  “Patrick. He wants me to help with the horses. He said that he would pay me to muck out the barn and exercise Sky in the corral and maybe ride the other ones.” He stood.

  “Don’t forget your bowl and the milk.” Elise was surprised that Patrick would ask. Even though he had complained beforehand, Mark had enjoyed the couple of times they had cared for the horses. She was pleased that Patrick felt Mark was capable, although Rebekah had probably suggested it.

  Mark grabbed the bowl.

  “The dishes in the dishwasher are dirty.”

  He put the bowl in the sink.

  “Mark?”

  “Huh?”

  “Your bowl. And the milk.”

  “Right.” He turned back to the table.

  Maybe helping with the horses would take Mark’s mind off Ted. “When does he want you to start?” Elise asked. She wasn’t opposed to him helping Rebekah, not like she had been in the fall.

  “Tomorrow, after school. I can ride my bike. He said he would give me a ride home.”

  Elise turned back from the refrigerator. “That road is pretty narrow. I’ll drive you.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “You’ll have to be careful.”

  “Mom, I know.”

  “What do you want to do for your birthday?” Elise asked. Another week and he would be fifteen.

  “Go to Seattle.”

  “For a trip?”

  “Duh, Mom. But moving would be better.” Mark headed down the hall; the milk was still on the table. They had visited Seattle the year before, a family trip after moving to Colorado. They had stayed at the Edgewater Hotel, gone to the market, and taken the ferry to Victoria and then over to Vancouver for a couple of days. It had been a wonderful vacation.

  “Mikey, now you’re a hotshot basketball player, huh?” Mark’s voice was too loud.

  Elise hoped they didn’t get started. She couldn’t handle a wrestling match tonight. Why hadn’t Mark gone out for wrestling? It would make all of their lives easier. But he’d be off the wrestling team with his poor grades.

  “Mark,” she called out. “Put the milk away. Put your bowl in the dishwasher. Get ready for tomorrow.”

  “Hotshot.” Mark’s voice was louder. “Golden boy—except for your dark hair. Wait, I was supposed to be the golden boy.”

  Elise couldn’t make out Michael’s response.

  “Double hotshot.” A door slammed.

  “Mark!” Elise started down the hall to the family room. Mark had Michael pinned to the floor. “Get up.”

  “We’re fine. Aren’t we, Mikey?”

  “I want to take a shower and get to bed.” Michael moaned.

  “No. Don’t you have homework to do? An A paper to write? Another science fair to win?” Mark flipped his hair out of his eyes with the toss of his head.

  “Mark, get off him.”

  Mark stood and slapped both hands on his jeans and then jumped as if he were shooting a basketball. “Hotshot,” he sneered and ambled out the room. The stairs creaked as he headed up to his bedroom. Never mind the milk and bowl.

  “He’s stressed about school,” Elise said.

  Michael headed to the downstairs bathroom. “You make excuses for him. I’m sick of it. And I’m sick of living here.”

  Elise pursed her lips. Maybe Michael would want to move to Seattle.

  “I want to go live at Reid’s house.”

  A shovel scraped against the concrete floor as Rebekah squeezed through the barn door. The sweet warmth of the horses greeted her. Sky’s stall was clean, with fresh hay spread across the floor.

  “Mark, how are you doing?”

  He poked his head out of the stall and smiled. He wore a black stocking cap. “I’m good.”

  “Do you want to come into the house for some hot chocolate?” Rebekah leaned against the rail. Mark had
done a great job.

  “What time is it?” He gripped the pitchfork tightly.

  “Five o’clock.” Rebekah was still shocked that Patrick had called Mark and asked him to do the work. Relieved, but shocked.

  “That late? I haven’t worked with any of the horses.” Mark maneuvered the wheelbarrow away from the stall door.

  “Don’t worry about it. You can ride tomorrow; it’s too dark now. I know the stalls were really full. Did your mom come out earlier?”

  Mark shook his head and pushed the wheelbarrow toward the back door. “She’s going to come get me, though.”

  “I can take you home.”

  “I know. But she didn’t want to trouble you.” Mark shoved the door open with his foot.

  Elise was as stubborn as her son. Sky bumped against Rebekah and licked her face. “Are you loving me, or do you have a salt deficiency?” She reached up and patted the horse’s neck.

  “Mom?” Pepper’s voice rose over the squeak of the back door.

  “Back here, sweetie.”

  “Elise is outside. She brought Reid home. She asked me to send Mark out.”

  “She’s not coming in?”

  Pepper shook her head. “Doesn’t she like us anymore?”

  Rebekah shrugged. “I don’t think that’s it. She’s going through a rough time with Ted in Iraq.” She turned her head to the back door. Mark was still outside. “That announcement about her blood type made her feel bad too, I think.”

  “Mom, do you think Elise would be a match since she has the same blood type, and she’s blond and small like me?”

  “I don’t think the appearance of a possible donor has anything to with it. Besides, Pepper …” Rebekah paused. This was hard to explain. “I think waiting for a cadaver donor is best. I wouldn’t want Elise to donate a kidney.”

  “Why?” Pepper climbed on the stall gate railing. Sky brushed against her.

  “Because I would feel like we owed her. Like I could never pay her back.” Rebekah squeezed through the gate, swinging Pepper out and then back in. She turned toward the back door again.

  “Would you feel that way with my birth mom, if she were still alive?”

  “Probably not.”

  “Why?”

  “You would be connected to her.”

  Pepper shook her head. “No. I’m much more connected to Elise.”

  “We’ll get the kidney off the list; it’s the best way.”

  Mark came through the back door wheeling his bike. Rebekah hurried to open the barn door for him. “Wait. I forgot the wheelbarrow.” He leaned the bike against Sky’s stall.

  Rebekah stepped out into the night. Elise sat with her head against the steering wheel. Was she crying? Or tired? Her head popped up. Rebekah waved. The winter sun had just set, and dusk hung over the farm for a final moment. Elise opened the window of the Volvo.

  “Mark’s getting his bike. Can you come in for a minute?”

  “We should get home. I haven’t started dinner.”

  Pepper stepped out from behind Rebekah. “Eat with us. Mom put a roast in the Crock-Pot this morning, and Dad has a dinner meeting.”

  Rebekah zipped her sweatshirt and turned her head toward Pepper. She didn’t feel up to having company.

  “Please, Elise?” Pepper stepped closer to the window.

  Elise shook her head. “You have enough going on.”

  Rebekah paused. Elise’s sadness flooded from the car. “Please come in,” Rebekah said.

  Mark rolled his bike around to the back of the car. “Where’s Michael?”

  “Checking out Reid’s new computer.” Pepper held the bike while Mark lifted the hatch. “You guys are staying for dinner.”

  “What’s for dinner?” Mark wrestled the bike into the car.

  “Pot roast.” Pepper slammed the hatch.

  “Cool.”

  “If you’re sure.” Elise gripped the steering wheel.

  “We would be so disappointed if you didn’t.” Rebekah took a step backward. What did she have to go with the roast? She didn’t have any potatoes or carrots. A can of corn? Probably a can of beets. Maybe even some frozen spinach.

  “Do you want real hot chocolate?” Rebekah asked. “I’m out of the powdered kind.”

  “Sure.” Elise loaded the last of the dishes.

  Rebekah stood in front of her pantry. “I know I have some cookies in here somewhere.” She pulled out a package.

  “How about brownies?” Pepper twirled on the breakfast barstool.

  “We don’t have time to make brownies.”

  “Brownies would be perfect tonight. With vanilla bean ice cream.”

  “Pepper, would you like to take over the meal and dessert planning? Your comments about the vegetables at dinner were enough.”

  “Mom, I need a cell phone.” Pepper opened the package of shortbread cookies.

  “You don’t need a cell phone.”

  “If I’d had one the other night, you wouldn’t have been worried about me.”

  “If you and Ainsley hadn’t walked across town in a downpour and then been flirting with high-school boys, I wouldn’t have been worried about you.”

  “I think I need a phone.”

  “Pepper, I’m serious.” Rebekah shook her head. “And don’t ask Grandma for one for your birthday. I won’t allow it.”

  “Okay, okay.” Pepper bit into a cookie. “Can I ride in the corral? The moon is full, and the light from the back porch shines over that way.”

  “Did you finish your homework?”

  “At the shop. Remember?”

  “It’s cold out, honey.”

  “I’ll dress warm.”

  “Okay. For half an hour, and just in the corral.”

  “Mark, do you want to ride?” Pepper spun off her stool.

  “I don’t know.” Mark clicked off the Internet. “Have you seen the cougar lately?”

  Pepper’s eyes got big. “No, but there was a raccoon in my tree again the other night.”

  Mark stood. “Is it all right, Rebekah, if we ride?”

  “Sure. But, Pepper, you must be in the house by eight thirty.” Pepper nodded, and Rebekah added a pinch of salt to the milk, sugar, and cocoa mixture and inhaled the sweet smell.

  Funny that Elise hadn’t asked Mark about homework. “Are we keeping you guys from getting home, from getting things done?” Rebekah stirred the hot chocolate.

  “No.” Elise sat down at the breakfast bar.

  “How’s your back?”

  “Better.”

  “Good enough to ride?” Rebekah ladled cocoa into two mugs.

  “Soon.”

  “I really need help keeping the horses exercised, especially the Appaloosas. Sky is doing great, by the way. You could ride him anytime.” Rebekah put the mugs on the table. “I bet you’re ready for things to get back to normal.”

  Elise nodded. “I bet you are too.”

  “I hope this doesn’t sound wrong.” Rebekah moved her mug clockwise. “But it helps to have someone else going through hard times.”

  Elise nodded.

  “It feels like everyone else is living their perfectly normal lives while we’re in survival mode, for who knows how long.” Rebekah hesitated. “Patrick said, before the failed transplant, that he felt God had forgotten us.”

  Elise took a sip of cocoa.

  “I’d never felt that way before, but I have since—like the other night when I couldn’t find Pepper.”

  Elise nodded. “I felt that way about Ted volunteering to go to Iraq. Going to Germany was enough, but Iraq felt beyond God’s plan.”

  “It’s hard for me to leave this up to God. I wanted my plan to be his plan.” Rebekah paused. The truth was that she no longer had a plan, no layout in mind, no outfits to match the specially chosen designer paper, no arrangements to create a perfect album.

  No master plan to save Pepper.

  She raised her mug. “Here’s to happier times.”

  Elise clinked hers to
Rebekah’s. “Here’s to getting through these times.”

  “Is the hot chocolate done?” Michael swung through the kitchen door, pushing it all the way open, followed by Reid.

  “Here, let me help.” Elise stood.

  “Let them get it.” Rebekah took a cookie as Elise sat back down.

  “Where’s Mark?” Michael picked up the ladle.

  “Riding in the corral with Pepper.”

  “Rodeo Queen.” Reid snickered.

  “No more of that.” Rebekah took another cookie and glared at Reid. “And I’m serious.”

  Reid ducked behind Michael. Michael ladled a second cup. “I don’t get this. Isn’t Pepper sick? Shouldn’t she be in bed or something?”

  “Are you worried about her?” Reid teased.

  “I’m worried about anyone who would hang out with Mark.”

  “Michael.” Elise stood.

  “Just teasing.”

  “I’ll go check on them.” Rebekah grabbed her coat off the hook by the door, and Elise followed.

  Mark stood in the middle of the corral and walked in a tight circle while Sky trotted in a wide circle around him. “Do it until he’s tired.” Pepper sat tall on the palomino, inside the gate. “Until he bows his head.”

  Rebekah leaned against the railing. Bear’s warm body rubbed against her legs. Sky bowed his head.

  “Now what?” Mark slowed.

  “Move toward him.”

  Mark did. Sky turned and met him.

  “That’s so cool.” Mark rubbed the horse’s head.

  Elise climbed on the rail beside Rebekah.

  “It’s called ‘the joining.’ ” Pepper opened the gate. “It means that he accepts you as part of the herd and that he’s submissive to you.”

  Part of the herd. Rebekah loved that.

  Mark mounted Sky and began to ride. On the second time around he said, “Mom, you have an e-mail from Dad. I read it in the kitchen.”

  “Why were you checking my e-mail? You were supposed to stop that.”

  “Because Dad hasn’t e-mailed me in a few days. I wondered if he had e-mailed you.” Sky began to trot.

  Rebekah grimaced. Poor Elise.

  On the third time around, Mark slowed Sky. “Dad said if you don’t get tested, you’ll regret it.”

  Elise pulled her coat tight and turned away from Pepper, away from Rebekah. “Stop reading my e-mail,” she hissed at Mark.