Fallen Angel

by K. S. Thomas

  “Tell me that’s not the asshole.” I’ve seen that look on Ava’s face before. Most recently when Sammy accused her of sleeping with Derek. She’s about to start punching people. My guess, the guy outside her gate.

  “What asshole?” I’m not picky though, if he’s the type of asshole who’s hurt Bam Bam in some way, I’m going to be hauling ass to beat Ava to the punch. Pun intended.

  “Hayden.” Bam Bam turns her head away from me, like she doesn’t want me to see her face. “My ex.” She sighs. “And, let’s just say, it ended badly.”

  I’m about to ask her how badly, when Ava leans across all of us to talk to Wyatt, our driver.

  “Ignore him. Run him over if you have to. Just get us inside and keep him out.”

  Wyatt laughs, but does as he’s told. He’s not new to Ava.

  I don’t know the story with this Hayden guy, but given Ava’s reaction and the way Bam Bam is refusing to look me in the eye, I don’t even care to find out. As soon as she’s inside, I’m planning on having a little man to man chat with him. I don’t have a fucking clue what I’ll say yet, but it will definitely include key points like, ‘stay the hell away from her’ and ‘you hurt her and I’ll fucking break you’. And it’s legit. I’m allowed to say those things. Even if I’m not allowed to feel what I’m feeling while I say them.

  The door opens and Bam Bam catches everyone off guard when she practically climbs over Derek to get out of the limo first. I should have known. Of course she intends to handle this douchebag herself.

  We’re all hustling to get out after her, and by the time my feet hit the pavement, she’s already back down at the gate, punching in the code to open it.

  “I don’t think you really understand what that gate is for,” Ava yells after her. Then she looks at the rest of us and starts gesturing for us to hurry up. “What are you assholes waiting for? Get down there! And make it good. The only time I ever want that prick coming back here, is in a fucking nightmare complete with cold sweats and screaming.”

  I don’t respond to that, except to speed up.

  I get down to the end of the driveway first and I land right in the middle of Bam Bam having a heated conversation with her ex.

  “You went to see my mother? Fan-fucking-tastic! You had no right to do that, Hayden. Any more than she had the right to give you Ava’s address.” Her face is flushed red and her chest is breaking out in a rash she’s so upset.

  “I was worried about you. And your mother understood that!” He tries to take a step toward her, but catches sight of me and the guys coming up to them and stops.

  “Ha!” She laughs derisively. “Now’s a funny time to start worrying about me.”

  He hangs his head, but even I can tell the shit’s not sincere. “I fucked up Addy-bug. I know that. But seeing you in that video...watching you get hit in the face, it just made everything so clear.”

  “Addy-bug? Are you for fucking real? You’re gonna come up in here and try to use a lame ass nickname like that?” I think I’m probably mostly pissed off he has any nickname for her at all. But Addy-bug? That shit doesn’t even suit her.

  Bam Bam looks back at me, surprised. Then she sees everyone else and her eyes widen in a way that makes me think she’s both sincerely touched and slightly mortified.

  “This is none of your business,” the asshole ex sneers at me, as if that would sway me to give them some sort of privacy.

  “Bam Bam is my business.” Yeah, that’s right. I used her nickname. Then I remember I’m not the only one here. “She’s all of our business.”

  “I really think you should leave, Hayden.” Her tone is calmer than it was, but I can tell from the look in her eyes, he’s really getting to her. Whatever he did when they were together, it was bad, and it’s still eating away at her.

  With my focus steady on Bam Bam, Royce steps up to take over. “She’s right, dude. It’s time to go.”

  The asshole glares at Royce then turns back toward Bam Bam. “I made a mistake. A big fucking mistake. Don’t you think I’ve regretted letting you go every day since you’ve been gone? Don’t you think I know you’re the best thing to ever happen to me?”

  His words hit me like a fucking freight train straight to my chest. All the air gets sucked from my lungs and my chest tightens painfully. This asshole can’t love her. He’s not supposed to. She can’t be the best thing that’s ever happened to him. It’s not possible.

  But listening to him say those words is only half as painful as watching her face as she hears them. For a moment I think maybe she’ll go back to him. Maybe he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her. Because it sure as shit isn’t me.

  “Now? You say this to me now?” She squeeze her eyes shut and shakes her head, and I can tell she’s feeling completely overwhelmed. When she stops and opens them again, her expression has settled some. “Why? Why am I the best thing that’s ever happened to you?”

  He seems surprisingly unprepared for her question and the desperate thing he had going on up until now vanished momentarily. “What do you mean why?”

  And then I see her start gaining ground again, shutting down the feelings he tried to stir up within her. “I mean, what makes me the best? Huh? There’s gotta be something about me that makes me better than other women, women like your wife for example. What is it? My gullibility? My willingness to trust? The ease at which I can be lied to? I want to know. Tell me.”

  Oh, damn. I did not see that coming. Apparently, neither did the asshole ex.

  “Addy-bug.”

  “Don’t Addy-bug me, you ass. I don’t know what made you get in your crappy little car and ride over here tonight and I don’t care. We’re done. You’re done lying and I sure as hell am done listening.”

  “I’m not leaving you here where you’re not safe.” Then, because he’s stupid, he tries to reach for her.

  I move straight in front of her to block him before he’s able to touch her. “You lay a hand on her, and you’re the one who’s not going to be fucking safe anymore.”

  “That’s pretty rich, coming from the prick who landed her in the middle of a fist fight.” Asshole’s taller than me and I guess he thinks that gives him some sort of an edge. He’s wrong. Dead fucking wrong.

  “Yeah, that’s right. She took a hit for me. And then I went to jail for beating up the piece of shit who hurt her. You can bet your fucking ass, I’ll do it again.”

  He glances over my shoulder down at Bam Bam. “What, you with him now? That it?”

  “Yeah, she is.” I can hear her gasp behind me, but she doesn’t say anything to contradict my lie. And that’s what it is. A fucking lie. And everyone here knows it. Everyone except the asshole ex.

  “That’s fine.” He starts to laugh. “Fucking perfect, actually. I’ve heard about you. You’re the one who gets around, gives the fans the VIP treatment. Don’t worry. No need to give any of them up. This one won’t even notice. About as dumb as a box of rocks, gives one hell of a blowjob though.”

  My fist lands in his face before he even finishes talking.

  He’s sprawled out on the ground as I tower over him. “What did I tell you? Huh? What the fuck did I say?! You hurt her, you get your ass beat.”

  Royce is the closest one to us. “I’m going to try this again, it’s time to go.”

  Blaise and Derek circle around as well as Asshole starts to get back on his feet.

  “I could fucking sue you.”

  “Get in line.” I wave him off and turn around. If I keep having to look at his fucking face I may decide to punch him again just because I hate the fucking sight of it.

  “I can’t believe you just did that,” Bam Bam whispers. Hudson’s right beside her, keeping me from doing the thing I want to do most. Wrap myself around her and never let go.

  Whatever stupid arguments I’ve tried to make up for myself to convince me that my feelings for her are wrong or pointless - even non-existent - are gone. Done. Because none of them hold up against
the truth of what my feelings really are. Inevitable.

  Chapter 11

  Shit. It’s only my third day on the job and I’m running late. Again. And I’m not even worried about my boss. Brett isn’t the type to watch a clock anyway. As long as I’m there in time to hand him a hot cup of his funky herbal tea as soon as his drive to work cup is empty, he’s cool. Ava, on the other hand. Not so much. And since she got me the job, I kinda don’t want to piss her off. Especially not after all the drama Hayden caused in her driveway the other night. Not that she blames me for any of it. Directly. By default, sure. If I hadn’t slept with him to begin with, or had simply stopped sleeping with him when Ava found out and told me to never do it again, none of this ever would have happened. Of course, I also would have missed seeing Angel lay him out flat, and more importantly, would have missed hearing him claim me as his girlfriend, even if it was just to get Hayden to back the fuck off. Regardless, I’ll take the blame, by default or otherwise. It was worth it.

  “I told you I would give you a ride. Why didn’t you just let me give you a ride?” I’m not even through the door and she’s up my ass already.

  “Because I had an errand to run on the way here.” And because I was barely even conscious when they left. “Is that a new song they’re working on?” I nod at the window behind the mixing console. The entire band is already in there and Blaise is belting out some sultry tune I’ve definitely never heard before.

  Ava nods. “Yeah. He was working on it last night.” She gives me a snide glare like only she can give me. “Of course you’d know that already if you’d been home last night. Where were you anyway?”

  I glance over at Brett to see if he’s listening. He’s totally in the zone, so definitely not.

  “I was stalking Nina Nu. She was playing at a bar across town.” Even though Brett barely even acknowledged the demo I handed him, I’m not anywhere near ready to give up on getting her into a studio. I’m just going to have to work my ass off and prove myself as a reliable source when it comes to sound and talent. In the meantime, I’m keeping track of Nina Nu no matter what it takes.

  Ava gives me a look like she thinks I’m slightly pathetic and then tries to cover it up with a smile that pretty much confirms it. “She really is super talented. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before the right scout hears her.”

  That doesn’t really make me feel better. I don’t want someone else to sign her. I want her. “I just feel like I get her, you know? Like I understand what she’s trying to achieve and I could get her there.” I’m tempted to ask Ava again about maybe taking her on as a client on the side, but I don’t. I know she hated having to tell me no the first time already. And I get it. It’s not that she doesn’t believe in me, although she probably doesn’t, she just really can’t. The Nolan boys have exclusive rights to her. Always have. It’s all part of the contract they signed back in the day. Under a full moon. Using blood for ink. For some reason, even as I’m thinking this, I imagine Angel turning into a werewolf and howling loudly. The other boys all look like vampires. I never should have read Twilight.

  “What’s with that face?” Ava’s staring at me.

  I shake off thoughts of Angel howling at the moon and Blaise stalking Ava through her window while she sleeps at night. “Nothing. Just having a paranormal mental break. Never mind.” My sister looks like she wants more of an explanation, but the music just stopped so I’m more than comfortable changing the subject and pretending the previous sixty seconds never happened.

  “Why are we stopping?” I turn toward Brett, just in case Ava missed the part where I was cutting her off.

  “Something’s not jiving right. Time to have a chat and regroup.” He waves in the guys from the other room when I jump out of my seat without even thinking.

  “Wait.” Every one turns and I feel each set of eyes boring into me, but none less pleasantly than Brett’s. But I ignore them all. There’s no way anyone will listen to me if I try and suggest anything. I’ll have to show them. “I have an idea. If I could just try something. It’ll only take a second.”

  I’m practically running for the door to join the boys, determined not to be intercepted before I make it in there.

  “Addy!” My sister’s last minute attempt to stop me goes to waste as the door shuts behind me.

  Of course, now I’m on this side with all four Nolan boys glaring at me like I’ve lost my mind. Fuck it, I probably have.

  “Um...okay, look. Just humor me for like thirty seconds. I swear, I know what I’m doing.”

  Begrudgingly, everyone nods and grumbles. I search the room for the person most likely to give me what I need right now.

  “Angel.”

  “Whattaya need, Bam Bam?” Shockingly, he seems genuinely interested in helping me with whatever crazy mission I’m on. Things have been oddly - and surprisingly - comfortable between us again ever since the night at Rusty’s...and the subsequent run-in with Hayden. I wouldn’t say our relationship has moved in any which direction, but it seems to have settled somewhere more closely located to denial and repression of the past. Which is fine by me.

  I twist my fingers back and forth and make a face. “Your drum sticks.” I wait to see his expression change from helpful to fuck off. But it doesn’t.

  Instead, he stands up and holds out his hand toward me. “Let’s see what you got.”

  Relieved, I take the sticks from him and take my seat. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Okay, can we take it from the chorus?”

  There’s a general noise I take as a consensus to do as I asked and then the music starts and Blaise begins to sing.

  Just as we enter into the bridge leading into the second verse, I speed things up and blast the bass drum several times before doing a mini solo, kick starting a faster tempo for the rest of the song, therefor adding something I can only think to describe as more umpf. It needed that.

  It’s not until I hear Blaise hit a high note on the second line of the second verse like he hadn’t done before that I open my eyes again. Not only are the guys totally into it, but I can see Brett on the other side of the window going crazy at the soundboard.

  The second half of the song passes in a blur and when we finish, I hear Angel holler out loud in excitement.

  I barely turn around to see him when both his hands land on my waist, lifting me up into the air.

  “Damn, Bam Bam!” He briefly swings me around in a celebratory fashion, just barely missing his drum set when he does it. Even as my feet hit solid ground again, I still feel like I’m flying.

  “Where the hell did you learn how to play like that? And don’t tell me it was those five minute sessions with me in your mom’s garage. Because back then I definitely didn’t know how to do the kind of shit you just pulled off right there.”

  I feel a giggle rise up from the pit of my stomach. I don’t think I’ve ever been this deliriously happy. I still can’t believe I just did that. Not to mention, I may be standing on solid ground again, but Angel’s still got both hands around my arms, holding me within range where I can easily place my palms on his chest. Which I do. And holy crap. All this denial and repressing memories almost made me forget he’s solid muscle.

  I have to catch my breath before I can finally answer him. “Believe it or not, that’s exactly where it started.”

  He shakes his head like he really doesn’t believe me. “Come on, Brett is waving us in. I’m sure he wants to know what the hell just happened in here as bad as I do.” He grabs my hand and I have no choice but to follow him and the others back in to face Brett. And my sister.

  Brett is all smiles, so that’s one less thing to worry about. But Ava. She’s another story.

  “Explain.” She spins a chair out for me to have a seat in the center of the room. “I need to know how I missed this. How we all missed this.”

  I slide into the chair and involuntarily lose the grip I had on Angel’s hand. It was really nice. And I’m not impressed with how quickl
y the moment passed already. Taking a slow glance around the room at all the faces staring back at me, I take a long, drawn out breath. I’m stalling.

  I kinda did some stuff I don’t think anyone here, except maybe Brett who has no reason to give a shit, will appreciate hearing. Of course, the expressions on their faces are making it pretty clear to me that they have every intention of being glued to the words coming out of my mouth from this moment on. I’m tempted to tackle my sudden bout with stage fright by picturing them all naked, but I can see why that might backfire, so instead, I block them all out and focus only on Ava.

  “Um, so we all remember how I used to hang around band rehearsals every day. What you probably don’t remember...or ever knew....is what happened after. See, there was this one night. It was late, after dinner. Mom’d been hammered beyond reason and the two of you had gotten into a screaming match over the fact that she’d spent the week’s grocery money on booze. Well, I couldn’t take it in the house and I went to the only place I could think of. The garage. Even though it was dark out there, I wasn’t scared. Not even for a moment. I was far too mesmerized by all of the instruments.” I take another deep breath. There’s no point in stopping here. “I could still hear shouting from inside the house, so to try and drown it out, I picked up the drumsticks and...”

  “You played Angel’s drums?” She’s looking at me through narrow eyes and I can’t tell if she’s pissed or just mega skeptical, which of course means I don’t know whether I’m worried or offended.

  “Yeah. At first. Then I tried the guitar, too. Later when Royce started playing with you guys, I picked up the bass as well.” I shrug. “I fell in love with music that night, Eda. I couldn’t ever tell you because I knew I wasn’t supposed to be in there. I mean, you threatened to ban me from rehearsals if I ever so much as touched an instrument in there without permission. Imagine what you would have done if you had found out I actually played all of them.”

  “Are you saying what you just did in there is the result of you teaching yourself how to play a handful of instruments in your mom’s garage at the age of eleven?” Royce is leaning forward, breaking free from the group.