Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice

by James Branch Cabell

  37.

  Invention of the Lovely Vampire

  So again Coth parted with his son in anger, and Jurgen returnedagain toward Barathum; and, whether or not it was a coincidence,Jurgen met precisely the vampire of whom he had inveigled his fatherinto thinking. She was the most seductively beautiful creature thatit would be possible for Jurgen's father or any other man toimagine: and her clothes were orange-colored, for a reasonsufficiently well known in Hell, and were embroidered everywherewith green fig-leaves.

  "A good morning to you, madame," says Jurgen, "and whither are yougoing?"

  "Why, to no place at all, good youth. For this is my vacation,granted yearly by the Law of Kalki--"

  "And who is Kalki, madame?"

  "Nobody as yet: but he will come as a stallion. Meanwhile his Lawprecedes him, so that I am spending my vacation peacefully in Hell,with none of my ordinary annoyances to bother me."

  "And what, madame, can they be?"

  "Why, you must understand that it is little rest a vampire gets onearth, with so many fine young fellows like yourself going abouteverywhere eager to be destroyed."

  "But how, madame, did you happen to become a vampire if the lifedoes not please you? And what is it that they call you?"

  "My name, sir," replied the Vampire, sorrowfully, "is Florimel,because my nature no less than my person was as beautiful as theflowers of the field and as sweet as the honey which the bees (whofurnish us with such admirable examples of industry) get out ofthese flowers. But a sad misfortune changed all this. For I chancedone day to fall ill and die (which, of course, might happen toanyone), and as my funeral was leaving the house the cat jumped overmy coffin. That was a terrible misfortune to befall a poor dead girlso generally respected, and in wide demand as a seamstress; though,even then, the worst might have been averted had not my sister-in-lawbeen of what they call a humane disposition and foolishly attached tothe cat. So they did not kill it, and I, of course, became a vampire."

  "Yes, I can understand that was inevitable. Still, it seems hardlyfair. I pity you, my dear." And Jurgen sighed.

  "I would prefer, sir, that you did not address me thus familiarly,since you and I have omitted the formality of an introduction; andin the absence of any joint acquaintances are unlikely ever to meetproperly."

  "I have no herald handy, for I travel incognito. However, I am thatJurgen who recently made himself Emperor of Noumaria, King ofEubonia, Prince of Cocaigne, and Duke of Logreus; and of whom youhave doubtless heard."

  "Why, to be sure!" says she, patting her hair straight. "And whowould have anticipated meeting your highness in such a place!"

  "One says 'majesty' to an emperor, my dear. It is a detail, ofcourse: but in my position one has to be a little exigent."

  "I perfectly comprehend, your majesty; and indeed I might havedivined your rank from your lovely clothes. I can but entreat you tooverlook my unintentional breach of etiquette: and I make bold toadd that a kind heart reveals the splendor of its graciousnessthrough the interest which your majesty has just evinced in mydisastrous history."

  "Upon my word," thinks Jurgen, "but in this flow of words I seem torecognize my father's imagination when in anger."

  Then Florimel told Jurgen of her horrible awakening in the grave,and of what had befallen her hands and feet there, the while thatagainst her will she fed repugnantly, destroying first her kindredand then the neighbors. This done, she had arisen.

  "For the cattle still lived, and that troubled me. When I had put anend to this annoyance, I climbed into the church belfry, not alone,for one went with me of whom I prefer not to talk; and at midnight Isounded the bell so that all who heard it would sicken and die. AndI wept all the while, because I knew that when everything had beendestroyed which I had known in my first life in the flesh, I wouldbe compelled to go into new lands, in search of the food which alonecan nourish me, and I was always sincerely attached to my home. Soit was, your majesty, that I forever relinquished my sewing, andbecame a lovely peril, a flashing desolation, and an evil whichsmites by night, in spite of my abhorrence of irregular hours: andwhat I do I dislike extremely, for it is a sad fate to become avampire, and still to sympathize with your victims, and particularlywith their poor mothers."

  So Jurgen comforted Florimel, and he put his arm around her.

  "Come, come!" he said, "but I will see that your vacation passespleasantly. And I intend to deal fairly with you, too."

  Then he glanced sidewise at his shadow, and whispered a suggestionwhich caused Florimel to sigh. "By the terms of my doom," said she,"at no time during the nine lives of the cat can I refuse. Still, itis a comfort you are the Emperor of Noumaria and have a kind heart."

  "Oh, and a many other possessions, my dear! and I again assure youthat I intend to deal fairly with you."

  So Florimel conducted Jurgen, through the changeless twilight ofBarathum, like that of a gray winter afternoon, to a quiet cleft bythe Sea of Blood, which she had fitted out very cosily in imitationof her girlhood home; and she lighted a candle, and made him welcometo her cleft. And when Jurgen was about to enter it he saw that hisshadow was following him into the Vampire's home.

  "Let us extinguish this candle!" says Jurgen, "for I have seen somany flames to-day that my eyes are tired."

  So Florimel extinguished the candle, with a good-will that delightedJurgen. And now they were in utter darkness, and in the dark nobodycan see what is happening. But that Florimel now trusted Jurgen andhis Noumarian claims was evinced by her very first remark.

  "I was in the beginning suspicious of your majesty," said Florimel,"because I had always heard that every emperor carried a magnificentsceptre, and you then displayed nothing of the sort. But now,somehow, I do not doubt you any longer. And of what is your majestythinking?"

  "Why, I was reflecting, my dear," says Jurgen, "that my fatherimagines things very satisfactorily."