Starring Me and You

by Ella Bradshaw

  “All right,” I gave in, “But we gotta make it quick.”

  Darcy

  The photo shoot felt like my first real glance into Nate’s world. It wasn’t all sex, money traveling around the world. Yes, he was still fawned over and anyone on set would have gladly given him one or more of their internal organs to keep him happy, but it was still boring as hell. There was a lot of waiting around and fussing. I felt like a third wheel. I thought our newspaper selfie might garner me more attention but that had clearly died down before it had gone anywhere. I was mostly ignored and shoved aside.

  I lingered by the buffet as Courtney and Nate were questioned in another room. Sheila approached me.

  “Hi Darcy, how is the food?” she asked, glancing at it. I shrugged. There wasn’t a whole lot on offer if you weren’t in the mood for donuts and finger sandwiches. I poured myself a glass of orange juice and offered one to Sheila.

  “No thanks. I’m not consuming sugar right now,” she said, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I’m sorry that I haven’t gotten around to it sooner.”

  My skin tickled pink. I thought about what she said to me when we first discussed the job. She had assured me she would know if Nate seduced me. I was sure he hadn’t told her, but maybe she could tell? I couldn’t afford to lose that money.

  “Yeah?” I said, trying to sound casual. Sheila pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. It was a cheque. A cheque for well over the amount that I had been promises, “Sheila, what’s this about?”

  “It’s your pay. Long overdue. You’ve done a really great job with Nate, sweetheart. Considering what he’s like. You definitely did the best you could and I appreciate that. God knows that boy is as difficult as they come,” she said.

  “You can say that again,” I said, and she laughed, “But I thought I wasn’t getting paid until the end of this whole arrangement? The movie isn’t out yet.”

  “Yes, that was the plan, wasn’t it. But plans change so quickly in the business sweet pea. I’m sorry, you’re not used to that yet. It’s understandable. You’ve done a great job but we won’t be needing your services anymore,” she said. My stomach dropped. I knew that this day would come, but I hadn’t expected it so soon. I was taken aback.

  “Really?”

  “Really, honey. I know you’re probably in shock. You didn’t think you’d get off the hook that easy, did you!” she laughed. Before I could say another word she trotted away in her noisy heels, “Sorry doll, gotta make sure Nate’s being politically correct. Pleasure working with you.”

  I stood there and took a swig of my juice as my mind raced. What did this mean for us now? Was this the end of it?

  I wasn’t left alone with my thoughts for long, of course. The photographer, whose name I’d learned was Darren, sauntered up to me.

  “Good juice?” he asked. I nodded a little too eagerly.

  “It’s great, really,” I said. I poured him some and handed him the glass. My hands were shaking as if I’d squeezed it myself. He took a sip and his nose wrinkled in disgust.

  “Tastes like shit,” he said.

  “Kind of, yeah,” I admitted. He laughed at me.

  “You’re something else, you know that?” he said. I had always been oblivious when guys were interested in me. At least, I had been in the past. Now that I only had eyes for Nate it had become painfully obvious when a guy wanted me.

  “Thanks.”

  I edged away from him but he took a step closer to me.

  “Sheila told me you’re Nate’s chaperone. That must be crazy, huh?” he said. I took another sip of my juice.

  “It’s interesting.”

  “I’ll bet. Have you fucked him?” he asked. I covered my mouth in shock.

  “Oh my,” I whispered, “Oh my, no. No, not at all.”

  Lies, lies, lies. It seemed to be all I ever did now. Darren put his hands up in defeat.

  “All right. Props to you. He’s hard to resist is what I’ve heard. I just figured that having a beautiful girl like you around twenty four seven would be hard for any man to resist. Nice to see that you can see through all his bullshit though. It would be a real shame if you fell for it, a nice girl like you,” he said. I put down my glass and did my best to sound calm.

  “What makes you think it’s bullshit? Everyone can fall in love,” I said. Darren folded his arms and looked me up and down, like he wasn’t sure what to make of me.

  “You really believe that, huh Blondie?” he said. I nodded, though I wasn’t quite sure.

  “I do.”

  “That’s cute. I hope you keep that optimism, it’s very endearing,” he looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. Everyone was too busy fussing over Nate and Courtney to give a damn, “Listen, honey, I know he’s good looking and you probably think you can change him but I gotta level with you. I’ve done about two dozen shoots with the guy at this stage and he has a different girl at every one. Alway gorgeous, fuck, I mean no offense, you’re gorgeous too. But I’m talking gorgeous. Like out of this world perfect from head to toe. The kind of girls you see on the cover of magazines but prettier. And he breaks all of their hearts without fail, and without discriminating. Skinny or curvy, black or white, famous or nobodies. Nate doesn’t care. He gets what he wants from them and moves the fuck on.”

  I did my best indignant voice.

  “I’m not interested in your advice,” I said. Darren smiled and shrugged.

  “Okay. You can’t say I didn’t try to warn you, baby,” he handed me his card, “Here’s my contact details. Hit me up if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, a friend with benefits, whatever. I’d love to photograph that face and that body. I have a private studio across town. Just say the word and I’ll clear my schedule.”

  I took the card and tossed it into the punch bowl.

  “No thanks,” I said. I stomped away from him so I wouldn’t have to hear another word from his stupid mouth. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice how badly my shoulders were shaking. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for the rest of the interview.

  “Please prove him wrong,” I willed Nate with my mind, “Prove us both wrong.”

  Nate

  The interview was even more excruciating than the shoot itself. I was asked so many questions that by the end they all began to sound the same and I had no idea what I was saying. Sheila practically fed the words to me anyway. It wasn’t like my answered mattered anyway. They would all be edited and spliced and taken out of context until they barely resembled my original intention. That was how it always was. I was used to it now, but that didn’t mean it annoyed me any less.

  Courtney was interviewed on the other side of the room so at least we didn’t have to pretend to like each other. I still said the typical shit of course, that she was great to work with and so funny and so talented. Everyone who knew us knew it was a lie but fuck, the fans ate that shit up. You couldn’t have the co stars of a romantic drama hating each other, now could you? That sure wouldn’t sell.

  “All right Nate, thanks so much for being here,” said the interviewer. She stood up and shook my hand, before turning to her camera man, “I think we’ve got everything we need.”

  Sheila trotted over to me.

  “How was I?” I asked. I’d been on my best behavior. Sheila tutted.

  “Only slightly unlikeable, which for you is great. Now you can go home and stop bugging me for the evening. I might have something arranged for tomorrow as well, so keep your phone on! If you don’t answer I’ll come and get you myself!”

  “All right, all right.”

  She gave me a kiss on the cheek and we went our separate ways. Finally, what I was looking forward too. I could be alone with Darcy.

  I found her waiting for me by the door. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she pulled away from me. Odd. She didn’t say much either.

  “It’s all over, finally,” I said. She nodded and smiled.

  “Great. The limo’s outside waiting for us.”


  “Cool. I’ve been looking forward to being alone with you all day,” I said. She smiled but didn’t speak.

  Darcy was quiet in the limo ride home. It was strange too, because Sheila wasn’t there. The partition was up so it wasn’t like the driver was eavesdropping on us. It was just the two of us now.

  I edged towards her and she thankfully didn’t move away. I took her hand and she squeezed it.

  “You okay?” I murmured. She nodded and gave me a weak smile.

  “Yeah. Just a little tired.”

  “Me too. It was a long ass day. I’m kind of used to all this by now, but I guess you’re not,” I said, “Thanks for tagging along.”

  “Sure thing. You know that photographer gave me his number?” she said nonchalantly. My grip on her hand tightened and I took a deep breath before I spoke. Stay calm, Nate, stay calm.

  “He did?” I simply said. His idiotic features appeared in my mind. The way he had leered at Darcy made my blood boil. The thought of him getting to touch her made me sick. She was too good for that. Too good for him.

  “Yeah.”

  “Did you take it?” I asked. My hands were shaking now. She didn’t, did she? She wouldn’t. Surely Darcy had better taste than that. Then again, I had no idea. She’d dated that Tim guy, after all. It seemed that she didn’t quite know what was good for her. Not that I was good for her. Was I? Who knew.

  She bit her lip and shook her head.

  “He asked me if I was single and I didn’t know how to answer him. So I told him it was complicated and that I wasn’t interested in dating right now. So I didn’t take his number. He told me that anyone who would mess me around and not make it official wasn’t worth it,” she looked up at me with those bambi eyes, “I keep thinking about that. Maybe he’s right.”

  “What are you saying?” I said. My voice raised just a little bit.

  “I’m saying that I don’t know what this is,” she looked down at our clasped hands, “I haven’t done this kind of thing before. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great. I love it. But I’m not the kind of girl who can maintain this.”

  “Maintain it?” I repeated slowly. I could see tears welling in those beautiful eyes. Fuck.

  “Yeah. Maintain this…whatever this is. Screwing around, friends with benefits. Whatever you call it,” she said, “I know what you’re like, Nate. If there’s one thing that’s always been clear is that you know who you are and what you want. I respect that. You don’t pretend to be anything else. I’m not like that. I spend my whole day playing pretend. Pretending that I’m happy at my job. Pretending that I don’t miss my parents more than anything. Pretending that I’m not falling for you.”

  A single tear rolled down the soft pink skin of her cheek. I let go of her hand and wiped it away.

  “Would that be so bad?” I whispered, “If you fell for me?”

  Her lower lip wobbled for a second like she was on the verge of sobbing. She tried to look away from me but I touched her cheek and her eyes found mine again.

  “I don’t know,” she said. I kissed her then. Just a soft, chaste kiss on the lips. It was easier than words. She melted into it and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me close to her as if she never wanted to let me go. I pulled away, just a few inches.

  “Darcy, this is different for me,” I said. It was. So many women had spent time in my bed over the years, but this was the first time I’d felt this way. Even losing my virginity hadn’t been nerve wracking. I’d always joked that I’d taken to fucking like a duck to water. This was different. These feelings, these thoughts, they were all new. And I was scared and so was she but maybe that was okay, “I want us to be something.”

  Darcy blushed and buried her face in the crook of my neck.

  “Sheila paid me,” she said, softly. I stroked her hair.

  “I guess that means you’re not working for me anymore,” I said. She sighed softly at my touch.

  “I guess so,” she said.

  “But that’s a shame. ‘Cos I still want you around,” I said. It felt terrifying, actually saying it. It was as close to a profession of love as I had ever gotten. In fact, a profession of love seemed like a possibility too. Thankfully, I knew when to shut up.

  “I want to stay around,” said Darcy. Then she pulled away from me and sat up. Before she spoke again she wiped away the tears on the cuff of her sweater. It was an oddly endearing gesture. “But only if this means something.”

  “It does,” I said, without missing a beat. She shot me a hopeful little smile.

  “What does it mean?” she said, “The two of us? What does that mean to you?”

  “It means everything,” I said. She gave a little laugh, but I was dead serious. I pulled her onto my lap and looked up at her. God, she was so beautiful. Even with her mascara running and her hair all messy. She was a goddess. Getting to make love to her had been like a spiritual experience. Before, all I’d cared about was getting my rocks off and maybe doing a good job of pleasuring the girl I was with for bragging rights. All I wanted to do with Darcy was make her happy in every way that I could. She deserved everything that I could give her and more, “Darcy, I need you.”

  “You need me?” she said. I nodded and kissed her again.

  “Stay with me. Please,” I said. She laughed but the tears were streaming down her face. Though she barely whispered it her response was clear as day.

  “Yes,” she said.

  Darcy

  I was sure that once I confronted Nate about the status of our relationship that it would end. It was what I needed, of course. If he could just spell out the fact that he had never loved me and never would, I could move on with my life. The fairly sizable cheque in my pocket and the promotion that I was probably going to get at work would be great consolation prizes.

  He surprised me, however, by saying almost everything I wanted to hear in the limo. Almost everything. I’d never expected myself to fall for the charms of a bad boy movie star. The way he spoke and the way he looked at me made me feel it. I knew I wasn’t just a toy to him. Not at all.

  The two of us went to bed together after the limo dropped us home. I had been expecting another incredible sex session but what I got was even better. Nate was waiting for me in his bed when I had finished brushing my teeth.

  “Hey beautiful,” he said with a cheeky smile. He was laying lazily on top of the covers. His bare chest looked even more defined in the moonlight that shone through the bedroom window. Only a pair of boxers covered him. He looked so effortlessly beautiful. He could have been posing for a painting or for a men’s fitness magazine. He patted the space beside him and I laid there.

  Nate took me in his arms and to my surprise, just held me there. We didn’t speak for a long time. Instead, we jut held each other and he kissed the top of my head. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so safe and cherished.

  “I’m sorry for making you put up with so much,” he said suddenly.

  “Huh?” I said. He kissed me again.

  “I kind of enjoyed fucking you around when you first got here. I can’t help it sometimes, that’s what I like to do. You were so god damn beautiful and you didn’t seem impressed with me at all. I had no idea what to do to get you to notice me,” he said. I laughed.

  “So you decided driving me crazy would be the best option?” I said. Nate gave a guilty chuckle.

  “Hey! I wasn’t that bad,” he said, “All right. Yes I was. Awful, actually. I don’t know how you did it, but you managed to keep up with me the whole time.”

  “Because I’m not the girl you’re used to,” I said. He nodded.

  “You can say that again, baby,” he said.

  It wasn’t long before the business of the day hit us both. I felt my eyes growing heavy and soon I was dozing. Being in Nate’s arms was the best way I’d ever slept.

  I woke up in the middle of the night, just for a second. In my sleepy stupor my brain lost its filter and I said the first thing that came to mind.r />
  “Nate?” I said. To my surprise, he was awake.

  “Yes,” he said.

  “Are you going to break my heart?” I mumbled into the pillow. He pushed a strand of hair out of the way and landed a single kiss on the side of my neck.

  “No,” he said. I fell asleep again.

  I woke up alone and panicked in my new surroundings. It took a second for me to realize where I was. I calmed for a second before releasing Nate was gone. Where was he? Oh god, he had upped and left. I knew he would do this. This was all too much for him, wasn’t it?

  Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. He had left me a note on his bedside locker. It was written stolen hotel stationary in his jagged, sprawling handwriting.

  Baby,

  Sheila just called me screaming about some press conference she never told me about. Typical, right? It’s not on until the afternoon but of course we have hours of prep for it. I’m sure she’s got a script for me to learn and everything. This is the last thing I wanted but if I didn’t show her wrath would surely reign down upon us all. So, I’m going, reluctantly.

  I know I probably should wake you up and bring you with me, but I can’t bring myself to do that. Did you know that you are so beautiful when you’re asleep? Fuck it, of course you don’t. You’ve never seen yourself sleep. But I have, and I consider myself lucky for it. You’re beautiful, Darcy. You’re beautiful when you’re asleep and peaceful. I think you’re even more beautiful when you’re awake and yelling at me for my bullshit. Fuck it, you’re beautiful. Period. I don’t want to disturb you. Since you don’t work for me anymore I don’t think you should be dragged along to all of my boring responsibilities. Press conferences are a fucking nightmare. Hopefully it goes smoothly, but these things never do.

  Anyway, I’m babbling a bit ‘cos I really don’t want to leave this bed. Once I stop writing I have to get dressed and leave you here. My sleeping beauty. Fuck, that’s the lamest thing I’ve ever said. I would cross it out, but fuck it. It’s there now. Just try not to tease me too much for being a dork. I can’t help it. You make me feel like I’m in high school.