Practice to Deceive

by Olivia Evans

  We were heading to my parents’ house for Dad’s birthday. It’d been a month since Valentine’s Day, and things between Skylar and me were like nothing I’d ever experienced. She kept me on my toes, never letting me get away with shit. She was funny, smart-mouthed, beautiful, and just as much of a slob as I was, contrary to what she said. She was perfect and filled parts of my life I never realized were empty.

  There were times when I was so wrapped up in how happy I was, I could almost forget those months last fall. Almost. There were still days and nights when my mind would drift, and I’d think about all the lies and ugly, hateful things I’d said and thought about her. It was always worse when I saw Matt.

  I still didn’t understand his angle. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if he had one. If he wanted to hurt me, he would have done it by now. Right? And then there were the times when Skylar and I would lie in bed, talking about school or what crazy shit Laura had said at work or her dad’s progress, and the weight of my lies would become fucking suffocating. I’d started to tell her a hundred different times, but as soon as I’d open my mouth, she’d look at me, and my throat would dry out and the words became stuck.

  I was a coward, but I wasn’t delusional. I did my best to make up for mistakes she had no idea I’d made. Not that it was hard. Being with Skylar was natural, necessary. But to be without her… The very thought squeezed the air from my lungs.

  “Stalker,” she teased, pulling my hand to her mouth and biting my knuckle. And yeah, she still called me that shit.

  “Damn, Lucy,” I hissed, pulling my hand away and looking at the indents her teeth had left in my skin. “Didn’t Martin tell you biting is bad?”

  “You didn’t mind me biting you the other night when—”

  I clamped my hand over her mouth and attempted to give her a stern look. I say attempted because it had absolutely no effect on her. No surprise there.

  “Would you behave, woman?” I teased.

  She rolled her eyes and laughed as she slid over and rested her head on my shoulder. We’d stayed up late last night, so I wasn’t surprised when she was asleep before we got out of the city. When we were about a mile from my parents’, I shook her shoulder. “Skylar, wake up.”

  “Clive likes boning space bears,” she mumbled as she sat up. I didn’t bother to comment on her ramblings. Rachel’s giggle let me know Skylar was quoting that movie in her sleep now.

  We pulled up at my parents’ a few minutes later, Skylar sufficiently more coherent. I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. That same feeling of dread that always accompanied situations where someone could say something about Matt crept up my spine. I wiped my hands on the front of my jeans and took a deep breath. “You ready?” I asked, smoothing her hair away from her face. She’d just colored it again, and the vibrant red made her amber eyes seem to glow.

  “Sure, parents love me,” she quipped, hopping out of the car. “Plus, if things get weird, I can always just ask to see your baby pictures.”

  “Hey,” I yelled as she and Rachel looped arms and walked toward the house. I moved beside Drew and sighed.

  Drew chuckled. “Dude, just give up now. It makes life so much easier.”

  “Skylar isn’t the first girl I’ve brought home, dumbass,” I shot back.

  “Yeah, but she’ll be the last. Might as well accept that shit now.” He moved to the back of the car and grabbed the bags while I just stood there, frozen.

  The last? What the hell was he—

  I stopped short, my mind screeching to a halt as I finally realized what he was implying. The last. Skylar would be the last girl I ever introduced to my parents, because there wouldn’t be anyone else for me. I squeezed my eyes shut and braced my arm on the side of the car as I fought the wave of dizziness crashing over me. The consequences of my lies, which already felt all-consuming, suddenly became so much more.

  “Stalker, get in here, or I’m asking for baby pictures!” Skylar yelled from the porch, a huge smile on her face.

  Fuck. I needed to get my shit together. Skylar would call me out before I made it through the front door if I didn’t. I jogged over to her and threw my arm around her shoulders before pulling her into the house. Rachel and Drew were already in the kitchen, and I could hear my parents laughing.

  “Brennan. Skylar. Come in,” Mom said, smiling.

  “Mom. Dad. This is Skylar,” I introduced. “Skylar, these are my parents.”

  “We’re so glad you could come. We’ve been so excited to meet you,” Mom said, pulling Skylar into a quick hug.

  “My son’s not giving you any trouble, is he?” Dad asked, leaning forward and giving her a one-armed hug.

  “All the time,” she sassed and fucking winked. Smartass.

  “Told you,” Drew laughed from the other side of the kitchen.

  “Oh honey, I think you’re going to fit in just fine here.” Mom chuckled as she reached up and rubbed her hand over the top of my head.

  “All right, all right,” I grumbled, ducking my head to get away from her. “If you guys are done, I’d like to show Skylar around.”

  “It was nice to meet you both—” Skylar started before Mom cut her off.

  “Maureen. Call me Maureen. And Clint.”

  “Okay.” Skylar grinned. “Thanks, Maureen.”

  We headed out of the kitchen toward the stairs, Skylar randomly asking questions when something caught her eye along the way.

  “This is where we’re staying,” I announced, pushing open my bedroom door and dropping our bags inside. It looked exactly like it had when I’d left after Christmas, but everything felt different.

  “It’s nice.” Skylar nodded. “I was expecting naked girls on the walls, so anything above that is a win in my book.”

  “You just can’t help yourself, can you?” I chuckled and wrapped my arms around her from behind.

  “What?” She tried to sound innocent. She failed miserably.

  “Being a smartass. You just can’t help yourself.” I walked her forward, toward my bed.

  “Oh, that? Yeah, no. It’s in my blood.”

  I tightened my arms and lifted her into the air before launching us both onto my bed.

  “Stop!” she shrieked as I dug my fingers into her sides.

  “Make me.” She leaned up and pressed her lips to mine, her hand sliding down the front of my jeans and palming my dick. And yeah, I wasn’t concerned with tickling her anymore.

  We spent the rest of the night hanging out with my parents. We ate pizza and watched shitty television. It was the most relaxed I’d been at my parents’ house in a long time. My parents both wore matching smiles as they talked with Skylar about school, her dad, Grace and Preston, and anything else that randomly came up.

  They’d tried to act this way with Terri, and while they’d always been polite, it was nothing like the easy, relaxed vibe that hung in the air now. It seemed I wasn’t the only person Skylar fit. She fit my entire family. She belonged here, with me.

  The next morning after breakfast, I showed her around Aberdeen. The high school, my old hangouts, and anything Kurt Cobain-related. Within a couple hours, she’d seen everything there was to see.

  “Wow, no wonder you get grumpy staying here for longer than a weekend,” she said as we walked around the back of my house. I looked at her in confusion before realizing she was referring to yet another lie told to cover my ass. Lies told by people who had no idea what they were covering up. Lies told by people who would hurt if Skylar were no longer a part of their lives.

  “It’s so pretty,” Skylar said, pulling me from my thoughts.

  I looked at the back of our property, the trees creating a canopy of green over everything.

  “Yeah,” I whispered, completely distracted.

  We hung out for a while longer before heading back to the house and getting ready for Dad’s party. Mom had promised to keep it low-key. They wanted to hang out with us since we came home less and less these days, which was fine with me. I liked
hanging out with Drew, Rachel, and my parents.

  It was new to me, being part of the group with someone the rest of my family didn’t hate. After we stuffed ourselves with dinner and cake, and Dad opened his gifts, we thanked the last of the guests and sent them on their way. While the girls hung out in the kitchen drinking wine, Dad, Drew, and I moved to the back deck with our beers.

  “It’s good to see you again, son,” Dad said, resting his hand on my shoulder. The look on his face let me know he wasn’t talking about coming to visit this weekend. His words held so much more meaning. I nodded, unable to find a way to respond.

  “And Skylar,” he added with a smirk. “She’s perfect for you.” I laughed; I wasn’t going to argue with him. I thought so too.

  After rounds of hugs and goodbyes the next morning, with promises to visit again soon and pointed stares from my mom, clearly telling me not to fuck things up, we piled into the car and headed back to Seattle. It was the first time in as long as I could remember that I was a little sad to leave. Skylar leaned over the seat and pressed her lips to my cheek.

  “I had a really great time this weekend. Thanks for bringing me.”

  I smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “We’ll come back for a visit soon. I promise.”

  To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing. ~Eva Young

  April 2016

  I grabbed the pillow and lifted the edge, peeking at Skylar, who was currently hiding underneath, a scowl on her face.

  “It’s not going to be that bad,” I lied, trying my best to keep a straight face.

  Her scowl deepened. “You are so full of shit,” she spat, knocking my hand away and wrapping her arms around the pillow and pressing it over her face.

  “Are you trying to smother yourself?” I chuckled, unable to hold it back any longer.

  “I’m going to die today anyway. This seems like the less painful way to go,” she mumbled, her words distorted from the pillow over her face.

  “Skylar,” I coaxed, tugging the pillow from her face.

  “I know I’m being ridiculous,” she sighed, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. “I just really hate these types of things.”

  I mimicked her position and tugged her arm. “C’mere, baby.”

  She slid over to me, her head resting on my shoulder, her arm slipping down my chest and under the bottom of my shirt.

  “So, we’ve reached the terms of endearment phase in our relationship?” she asked, a smile in her voice.

  “The what?” I laughed, running my fingers through her hair.

  “You know, where we call each other sweet little nicknames and get all gooey with each other.” The sarcasm in her voice was over the top.

  “I hate to break it to you, but we reached that phase a long time ago.”

  “I hardly think you calling me a shortened name for the devil is a term of endearment,” she argued, pinching my side.

  “Then stop acting like him,” I quipped, smacking her hand. “We really need to talk about your violent tendencies. Biting and pinching, Skylar? I think you need a time-out.”

  “I can kiss and make it better,” she cooed.

  “Devil,” I mumbled. “Does it bother you? That I called you that?”

  “No. I kind of like it,” she admitted with a shrug, her voice soft.

  “I like that you like it.” I leaned forward and kissed the top of her head. We stayed that way for the next half hour, not talking, just holding each other, just being together. It was one of my favorite things to do with her, and since Martin wasn’t going to physical therapy anymore, Sundays had become our day to hang out and do nothing.

  Except for today.

  “We need to get going.”

  “Ugh. Why is Grace doing this to me?” she whined.

  “C’mon.” I patted her ass and lifted her up. “It’s only for a couple hours, and you have Rachel, so it shouldn’t be that bad.”

  “Can’t I just go with you guys to the shooting range? That is so much better than helping Grace with a baby shower for someone I don’t even know.”

  “Nope. No girls allowed. This is just for the menfolk,” I joked, deepening my voice and puffing out my chest.

  She smiled. “You’re such a dork.”

  I leaned forward and hooked my finger in her belt loop and pulled her to me. “C’mere, girl.” I ran my free hand up her arm and cupped her neck. “You really need to work on your terms of endearment. First, you call me a stalker and now a dork.” I lowered my mouth to her ear. “I’m sure you can do better than that, baby.” I brushed my lips against her ear, inhaling her scent of blackberries and lilacs.

  “We’re never going to leave this room if you don’t stop. Not that I’m excited about my plans, but I think Dad would be a little pissed if you stood him up to defile his daughter.”

  “Fine. You go play with diapers. I’ll go play with guns.”

  “Oh my God, you suck.” She scowled and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “I—”

  “Don’t be a perv,” she cut in, before I could say something completely perverted.

  I chuckled and kissed her before grabbing my keys off the desk. “Are you coming back here with Rachel when you guys are done?”

  “Yeah, if you want,” she said, following me out into the hall.

  “I want.” I grabbed my shoes and yelled to Drew. “You ready to go?”

  “Yeah,” he answered, coming out of his room, Rachel following behind him.

  “Have fun,” Skylar said, raising up on her toes and kissing me quickly.

  “You too,” I teased. “See you later, baby.”

  “Don’t overdo it,” she warned, pointing at me.

  I just laughed at her as Drew and I walked out the door. We were meeting Martin and Preston at the police academy firing range for a little target practice. Martin was expecting to have his work restrictions lifted next week so he could return to full duty. Skylar was nervous about him going back to work, but being out of work this last year had been rough on him. He’d invited me to come, saying every man should know how to shoot a gun, which was how Drew ended up tagging along.

  Thirty minutes later, we were issued guns, bullets, and earmuffs. After, of course, we signed waivers stating if we shot ourselves, the shooting range wasn’t responsible. I eyed Drew warily. If anyone would end up with a bullet in his leg, it would be Drew.

  “Skylar tells me you got a conditional letter of appointment the other day,” Martin said casually as he loaded his gun.

  “Yes, sir. I took my Phase I and Phase II tests last spring and passed both. They wanted to wait until I was closer to graduation to issue my physical and start my background check.” I’d been so wrapped up in my classes and Skylar that I hadn’t realized how close I was to graduating until I received the letter last week.

  “What are your plans?” he asked as we stood behind the thick plexiglass and watched Drew and Preston shoot at their targets. I say at because, well, Drew made me look like a sniper compared to him.

  I shrugged. When I’d applied to the FBI Academy, I hadn’t given a second thought to what that meant. But now, I wasn’t so sure. The idea of being separated from Terri hadn’t bothered me, but Skylar, that was a different story. Of course, Skylar told me to shut up and make my appointment. Which I did, but not before checking out all the training facilities to see which had the most potential for her to find a job or internship. Now I just had to figure out how to tell her.

  “I made the appointment. I meet with the recruiter on the twenty-eighth.”

  I shook my head at Drew as Martin laughed quietly beside me. My brother had managed to graze the shoulder of his target. Preston’s target, on the other hand, had a hole the size of an apple in the chest.

  “Well, let’s get in there and make sure your aim is better than your brother’s,” he chuckled. “I’ll feel a lot better about Skylar being with someone I know can protect her when you guys are on your own.” He clappe
d my shoulder, causing me to fall forward slightly, because holy shit, did Martin just give me his blessing?

  He laughed at the expression on my face. “You think I don’t see the way you two are always making moon eyes at each other?” He rolled his eyes before muttering something about being blind.

  I followed him dumbly to our lane as we passed Drew and Preston, who were talking animatedly about their targets. The two of them seemed to click. Everyone seemed to click; it was almost like my family and hers were part of a single unit, and all that was missing was the two of us bringing it all together.

  I looked at Martin as he adjusted his glasses and focused on his target, his face blank, calm, almost serene. I liked Martin. I liked Preston and Grace. And I was sure I’d like Skylar’s mother as well. The black hole of dread kept getting bigger and bigger, like it was taking on a life of its own as it pulsed above my head, waiting for me to fuck up so it could take all of these people away from me. Waiting to take Skylar away from me.

  My first shot missed the target altogether.

  After some assistance from Martin, and some heckling from Drew, I finally got the hang of it. Martin said he was impressed, but he refused to admit I was a better shot than Skylar. I wasn’t sure if it was because I really wasn’t, or because he didn’t want to deal with her when she chewed him out for saying it.

  Later that afternoon, long after Drew and I had gotten home, Rachel and Skylar came dragging through the door, looking tired and annoyed. Skylar didn’t have much to say other than a few muttered comments of “never again” and “I hate Grace.” I didn’t press, because honestly, they were at a baby shower. I really didn’t want to know.

  I managed to convince her to spend the night, which wasn’t all that difficult. We spent more time together than we did apart, so it was rare for us to wake up alone. I’d gotten so used to her being around that on the nights we weren’t together, I found it hard to sleep.

  Martin’s words bounced around in my head like a pinball over the next couple weeks. He trusted me with his daughter. He trusted me to take care of and protect her. And while I would, without a doubt, do all those things now, I couldn’t shake the memory of a time when I hadn’t.