by Colee Firman
Hearing Myles’ name, even after so long caused a little tugging sensation in my chest. “It’s been five months,” I said, trying to seem unaffected by the topic. “It’s over. Livvy needs to let it go.”
Wyatt pointed toward the sound of their voices. “You might wanna go tell her that before she kills my cousin.”
I nodded and headed down the hallway and around the corner, stopping outside Livvy and Tom’s bedroom door. I knocked and waited. She was yelling at him so loudly that I doubted they even heard me. I balled up my hand and pounded on the door with the side of my fist.
The yelling stopped and heavy footsteps pounded across the floor. The door was cracked and Tom peeked out. “What’s up, Brant?”
His face was red. He looked completely flustered—definitely a direct result of going toe to toe with Livvy. She was impossible when she got worked up. “Let me talk to her.”
Tom pulled the door open all the way, revealing Livvy standing at the foot of their bed with her suitcase out and clothes strewn all over the place.
I walked in quickly, holding my arms out at my sides. “What the hell are you doing?”
Livvy’s eye makeup was smeared down her cheeks from crying. “Do you even know what he did?”
“Wyatt told me,” I said, glancing back at Tom.
“He knew that prick was leaving,” she shouted, tears streaming down her cheeks. “If he’d have said something—anything, you never would’ve given it up to Myles.”
“Ok, wow…” I looked over my shoulder at Tom. “Can you give us a few minutes?” There was no way I was discussing ‘giving it up to Myles’ with him in the room.
He lowered his head and turned away, closing the door as he walked out.
“Liv…” I took her wrist and pulled her to sit on the rug with me.
She plopped down, running her hands roughly across her cheeks. “What…”
“You need to cut this shit out,” I said, reaching over and wiping a spot of mascara from her cheek. “Tom’s a good guy.”
Her hands went into tight fists. “He should’ve told me what was going on the second he knew. I could’ve told you—I never would’ve been pushing you to have sex with Myles.”
“Oh, geez…” The entire reason she was flipping out suddenly made sense. “Is that what you think? I slept with him because you pushed me to do it?”
“I’m a total shit friend.” Her body shook as she involuntarily sniffled. “You were worried he wouldn’t understand and I just blindly reassured you he’d be fine with your past. Look what happened…”
“Two things,” I said, holding my fingers up. “First off, I wasn’t a virgin until I was twenty because I’m virtuous—that’s just how it turned out. You should know me well enough to realize he didn’t take some prize I was holding onto for marriage.” I scooted over and put my arm around her shoulders. “Secondly, I was with him because I wanted to be. I know this may disappoint you, but you were nowhere in my mind when I was ripping his pants off.”
Livvy smiled weakly but didn’t say anything. I hated that she felt so responsible for something that had nothing to do with her.
“The last night I had with Myles was the best night of my life.” I paused and sucked in a deep breath, trying not to get emotional. I’d boxed up all my feelings over what happened months earlier and sealed it tightly shut. There was no way I was peeling back the tape. “Even if it wasn’t real for him, it meant everything to me. I hate that he changed his mind about us, but I still wouldn’t take back what we did.”
“How can you say that?” Livvy tipped her head against my shoulder. “You trusted him and he walked out on you.”
“What I dumped on him was a lot to handle. After thinking about things, I can’t blame him for deciding it was too much. I was just more than he bargained for.”
“He’s an asshole…”
“I’m over it—thankful even. I wouldn’t have Jonah if Myles hadn’t left me the way he did.”
“Exactly,” she said, shaking her head. “Like he said, he’s an asshole.”
“Be nice…” I looked at her and smiled. “What happened with Myles was a good lesson not to share too much with people. Not everyone is as accepting as my best friend…”
She turned and hugged me, crying again. “I love you, Brant.”
“I love you too…”
All her bawling had me crying too. I hadn’t shed a tear over Myles in months. Talking about him stirred painful memories. When I came home the day after Jen’s party and he wasn’t there, I just thought he’d gone out somewhere. I tried calling him when it got late, but it went straight to voicemail.
The next day when he still wasn’t home, I started asking around town. Through the Baylor Grove rumor mill, I found out he’d left to go work in Japan indefinitely. He knew he was leaving and never mentioned anything about it.
When what he’d done finally sank in I was devastated—completely overcome with grief. I’d shared everything about my life with him and rather than tell me he couldn’t handle it, he just left without saying a word to me.
After losing it for three days, Livvy brought the guys over and made me come back to the house with them. They packed up all my stuff and Wyatt convinced Lou to let me out of my lease. It was for the best. Going back to that house—our house, everyday would’ve kept the wounds too fresh.
By my Aunt Jen’s wedding, Livvy helped me get functioning somewhat. Since we were in the wedding party together, I spent a lot of the night with Jonah. It was nice to be around someone who already knew everything about me—I had nothing to hide or worry about when we talked. Two days later when he called and asked me to go out to dinner, I accepted. Things between us developed pretty fast from there.
The way Myles bolted after learning I’d killed my own mother taught me I’d never be able to share my past with someone again. That’s when I knew if I didn’t want to be alone, Jonah was the only one I had a future with. He knew everything and wanted me anyway. As long as I had him, I never had to worry about going through the pain and rejection I felt when Myles couldn’t accept me.
My plan wasn’t perfect. There were times when Jonah could be tough to deal with. I’d learned to make it work though. At the end of the day, I figured it was an even exchange—we both had flaws we needed the other to overlook. Besides, he was an overall good guy who truly seemed to love me. If I kept working at it, I was sure I’d learn to love him too.
I pulled away from Livvy and wiped my eyes. “You need to apologize to Tom. If I’m not mad at him, you shouldn’t be either,” I said. “You’ll never find another guy who puts up with your shit and still loves you the way he does.”
Livvy laughed through a sob. “He is pretty awesome, isn’t he?”
“That he is.” I pushed up to my feet and reached down, pulling Livvy up. “How the hell did you two end up fighting about Myles today—that’s just so random.”
“Wyatt didn’t tell you?”
I shook my head. “Tell me what?”
“Myles is in Baylor Grove,” she said, piling up the clothes she had strewn around on the bed. “He’s home for Christmas.”
All I could do was stare at Livvy as I turned her words and the meaning behind them over in my head. After five months, Myles Franco was back in Baylor Grove. The guy who crushed my heart—the one I still silently ached for day and night was home. I was speechless...
Twenty-Six
Myles
It was one-thirty in the morning and I couldn’t even think about sleeping. Even after downing almost an entire bottle of whiskey I was still completely wired. Having Brantley two miles away and not being able to see her was making me fucking crazy.
I needed to leave her alone—I knew that. I just couldn’t handle her thinking I’d left town because of her. Even worse than that was having her believe I’d just used her for sex. It was eating away at me. She had no idea how much that night meant to me.
Part of me was completely pissed off at her—she
’d lied when I asked her if it was her first time. I should’ve known—I had a feeling, but hell, what girl who looks like her makes it to twenty still a virgin? None I knew.
Brantley wasn’t like other girls though. She was strong and smart and independent. She’d fought for her life and won. Her own mother tried to kill her and she’d somehow managed to overcome it. Then I came along and crushed her. Maybe I hadn’t changed as much as I thought since college—maybe I was just doing the same destructive shit in a different way.
After another ten minutes of restless pacing, I couldn’t take it anymore. I drained the last of my whiskey and grabbed my keys—I had to see her.
The lights were all on in the Dempsey house when I parked. I was only halfway up the front walkway before the front door opened and Wyatt walked out onto the porch. Vince and Maverick were right behind him.
Wyatt stood on the top step. “It’s kinda late to be stopping by, Franco.”
“Brantley,” I said, slowing to a stop, “go get her.”
Maverick walked up next to his brother. “You’ve got a lot of balls coming here, asshole.”
My fingers flexed in and out of a fist as I fought to stay civil. “Tell her I’m here. If she wants me to leave I’ll walk away.”
“Fuck off,” Vince said, walking to the other side of Wyatt. “Moving out of her apartment pretty much said she doesn’t want your sorry ass.”
The door swung open and the other two brothers came outside—Carter and Tucker. The typical Dempsey bullshit—it was impossible to deal with one without the other four popping their fucking heads up.
Carter caught sight of me as he and Tuck walked across the porch. “What’s that douchebag doing here?”
“He’s leaving,” Wyatt said, moving down a step.
“Not until I see her.” Having those five fuckers standing between me and Brantley was wearing down my self-restraint. One more push and I was gonna snap.
“You’re not getting anywhere near her,” Tuck said, smirking at me as he started down the steps. “Not unless you get through us.”
“Line the fuck up then,” I said, holding my arms out at my sides. I’d been trying to be cool about shit but fuck them. “C’mon! You first you little prick—let’s do this…”
Tuck came at me as soon as the words left my mouth. I hadn’t wailed on anyone in a long time and was dying for a fucking fight. Tom’s warning about his cousins stepping up if I made a move to see Brantley was no joke—I was so fucking ready for it. Part of me suddenly wondered if that’s why I really went there.
The peaceful silence of the late winter night was shattered as we started throwing punches. The first crack of my fist against his jaw hurt like a bitch. The pain just got me amped up more. I had so much adrenaline pumping by the time he landed his first hit I barely felt it.
Between the booze and frigid air I was practically numb. My only real feeling was insane amounts of satisfaction at finally being able to let loose. One of us was bleeding—if it was me I didn’t give a shit. Slamming my fists into someone was exactly what I needed to deal with the way shit was going.
I let go of everything else and focused all my energy on wrecking Tuck. My head was the clearest it’d been in months. Even half in the bag I was kicking his ass. With every punch I was half expecting his brothers to jump in and try to help him. I almost wished they would. The more we pounded on each other—the better I felt.
I was ripped out of my zone by shouting from the porch. I gave Tuck a hard shove to the ground and turned back to the house. Brantley was standing on the top step staring back. Anger sparked in her eyes and her arms folded tightly across her chest. Even pissed off she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Brantley
After five months apart, Myles was standing twenty feet away from me. His clenched fists were bloody and the freezing night air made each of his quick breaths visible. His dark hair was slightly longer, almost hanging in his eyes. Until that moment, I had no idea just how much I’d missed him.
Wyatt stepped into my line of sight. “What do you wanna do, Brant?”
“I’ll make him leave,” I said, still trying to wrap my head around what was happening. “Just do something about your brother.”
I started off the porch as Tuck got to his feet. Wyatt cut in front of me and grabbed his brother just as he was about to take another swing. I didn’t think Myles even saw him coming. His eyes never left me from the second he realized I was there.
When he was fighting, Myles’ face was dark and angry. All that melted away the second he saw me. There was nothing left but sadness—the same sadness I remembered from the last time we saw each other. My insides were a twisted mess. I was angry he was out there beating on Tuck, yet so glad to see him at the same time.
I sucked in a chest full of icy air that nearly took my breath away as I stopped a few feet in front of him. My body ached to get closer but I didn’t dare. “What the fuck are you doing?”
The corners of his lips curled. “I’m supposed to ask you that.”
“I’m serious,” I said, refusing to return his smile. “Showing up at my house in the middle of the night is crossing into crazy stalker territory.”
The smile faded from his face. He moved closer until there was barely a foot between us. “I just wanted to talk to you.”
“You should’ve called then,” I said, rubbing my hands on my bare upper arms as I shivered. “That’s how normal people communicate.”
“Here…” He slipped his jacket off and slung it around my shoulders.
His coat was warm from his body and his scent surrounded me. I could hardly think straight when I took a look at him standing in front of me. His shoulders seemed broader and his arms looked bigger. The black t-shirt he was wearing was stretched tight around his upper arms and chest. He’d gotten even more tattoos. It was tough to find a bare spot on his on his arms.
A cocky smile spread across his face as he watched my eyes getting reacquainted with his body. “If I would’ve called and asked to see you, would you have let me?”
“I don’t know…” I dropped my eyes. “Probably not—no.”
“That’s why I just came by,” he said, smearing the blood covering his knuckles onto his jeans.
“You need to leave.” I quickly glanced back to the porch where everyone, including Tom and Livvy, were standing watching us. “There’s nothing left to talk about.”
“Brantley…” He reached out and lightly brushed my neck with his warm fingertips, making me shiver. “I’ve missed you so fucking much…”
“Stop,” I said, pushing his hand away. I hated how his touch still got to me. I couldn’t get sucked into his shit again—not when I had a great guy who loved me that wasn’t afraid of my past. “The part where you touch me and I melt into your arms is over, Myles.”
“I know…” Fresh pain as if my words physically hurt flashed across his face. “It fucking kills me to say it, but I know we’re over. I knew it the day I left…” There was a painful crack in his voice and his blue eyes glistened. After a few seconds of silence he dropped to his knees and tipped his head back. “I fucked up—I’m not asking for another chance. You hate me—you should. I don’t deserve you—fuck, I never did. There’s just shit I need to explain before I can let go—please…”
Each word he spoke hurt more than the one before it. My eyes stung and I struggled to keep my feelings in check. It was all I could do not to pull him into my arms and tell him we could start over. We were way past that point. I had someone else—we couldn’t go back.
After taking a few moments to rein in my emotions, I tried again to make him understand. “Myles, you don’t owe me any explanations—I’ve moved on. You need to do the same.”
“I don’t know how…” Myles’ head tipped against my stomach and he wrapped his trembling arms around my waist, pulling me into him. “I love you.” His grip tightened as he buried his face against me. “I love you and I don’t know how to stop.
..”
If I wasn’t already falling apart inside from having him on his knees crying in front of me, I would’ve been after that. My hands settled on his shoulders and I held him against me. I recognized the pain he was feeling—it was the same gut wrenching agony I went through when he left me.
My heart was breaking all over again. This time it was for Myles. I had to put a stop to what was happening for my sake and for his. If he needed closure to move on, then I had to give it to him—before he made me do something to jeopardize what I had with Jonah.
The scent of booze hung in the air—Myles absolutely reeked of it. I glanced at his truck parked out front of the house and sighed. “Give me your keys.” There was no way I could let him drive home.
Without any hesitation he reached into his pocket and held them up to me. “Brantley, I—”
“Listen,” I said, taking the keys from him. “I’m gonna get you home. We can talk in the morning when our heads are clearer after some sleep.”
“Are you…” Myles’ arms slipped off my waist as he pushed up to his unsteady feet. Newfound hope filled his bloodshot eyes as he looked down at me. “You’re coming home with me?”
I shook my head as I backed away from him. The way his face fell nearly made me change my mind. I couldn’t though—there was no room for him in my life. My focus had to remain on making him see that. “If you go home without causing anymore shit tonight, I’ll meet you at the diner tomorrow morning at eleven o’clock to talk.”
After a few seconds he slowly nodded. I could tell it wasn’t what he was hoping for, but it looked like he knew that was the best he was going to get. Even if he needed more that was truly all I had to give.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I held my finger up to him before turning around. “Just wait here.”
Tom met me at the bottom of the steps with Livvy by his side. “I’ll get him home,” he said, holding his hand out. “Just get inside and warm up.”
“Thanks…” I slipped Myles’ jacket off my shoulders and held it out to Tom with the keys.