Inner Demons

by Amanda Strong

  “Wait… I…” I stammered, my face flushing. In all the times he’d kissed me, he’d never tried to undress me. Did I admit to him the thought terrified and thrilled me at the same time? Maybe he really did want me after all.

  Blake shifted back, readjusting the seat upright. With me sitting in his lap, he pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry, Sam. I got a little carried away. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “No, it’s fine, really. I guess I shouldn’t be… embarrassed. You’ve probably done this with lots of girls,” I said, dreading him confirming my suspicions. My love life had been simply kissing Jeremy, and I suppose Mack, even though I didn’t remember it. That had been the extent of it for me. Or had it? I stifled a gasp from escaping me. I knew I was a virgin, but what about Sammy? I had no memory of what she did when she had the reins. My stomach felt sick at the thought.

  “Sam, I’d be lying if I said I never kissed anyone else, but I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I guess the thought of you flashing through my head while being with someone else kept anything else from happening.” He pressed a soft kiss to the side of my mouth.

  It was a shock to know he might be more like me in the physical department after all. I assumed he’d have gone all the way by now. As I stared at him, I let a small laugh escape me.

  Blake’s brows rose. “What?” he asked.

  “For so long, I thought what made me weird at school was the fact I’ve never,” I flushed, “well, you know. But I have a split personality and can sprout wings, so being a virgin seems pretty normal right about now.”

  Blake chuckled. “Well, we have two of those three things in common. So you’re not that weird,” he teased.

  My heart squeezed. For some reason, knowing Blake had never shared that part of himself with anyone else made me happy.

  “I promise, I’ll try to control myself around you better,” he said, “Besides, hopefully, we won’t have to wait much longer.” He winked at me, and I could only stare at him.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, leaning back a little so I could see his face better. I didn’t want to move that much; his body was warm. Even with the engine idling and the heater vents blowing, the Colorado chill clung to the windows.

  “January twenty-eighth, right?” he asked, peering down at me.

  “My birthday?” I asked, still not sure I knew what he was getting at. Did he think that when I turned eighteen, I’d be free to do whatever with him?

  He grinned and ducked down to nestle his lips under my chin, kissing my neck. I sighed, my skin tingling where he touched.

  “Maybe we should skip this weekend’s trip. I think I need to shovel a few more walks with your dad,” he said, stopping his butterfly kisses. He glanced up and met my gaze.

  “What? No way! We’re going.”

  “Alright. We better get you home then. Don’t want your dad mad at me,” he said, lifting me up easily and helping me across the center console. I didn’t want to leave his arms, but I knew he was right. It was late and time to get home. I angled the heater vents to hit me more directly, feeling the absence of his body.

  I let the conversation slide around my birthday, even though I didn’t have the heart to tell Blake that just because I was eighteen didn’t mean my dad, or I, would be fine with me going all the way. Honestly, I secretly wondered if he meant something else. I hadn’t forgotten the conversation in my room when he said he wanted to make me his Mrs. Knightly. The thought of marrying Blake sent my head spinning in a thousand different directions, and my heart in only one. I wanted to be with Blake in every way—that much I was certain. How my parents would feel about their eighteen-year-old daughter getting married was another matter.

  I glanced over at Blake. By the way his brow line lowered, I had a hunch he wasn’t thinking about marital vows right now. He seems nervous about bringing me back to Tonbo’s Island. I got the feeling there was something else he wasn’t telling me. Is it just his brother he’s worried about?

  Chapter 5

  Arriving at the island was different this time; I had bigger problems than the gawking eyes that still followed our every move. At least we flew directly to Tonbo’s office headquarters. Mack wasn’t here, but Blake told me Tonbo would skin him alive if he didn’t bring me to see him first thing. When I thought of the impish man with bushy eyebrows and brilliant onyx eyes, I couldn’t see him skinning anyone alive. Even with his oddities, Tonbo exuded kindness. I had to admit I was looking forward to a chat with him now that I knew about Sammy.

  When I entered the building and felt the blast of icy AC, it sent my heart galloping. Every part of me screamed that Mack should be here with us now, like last time. The swirling blue-green color below my feet didn’t help either. I’d seen those tiles before when I was Sammy. When Mack had brought her here…

  I glanced at the circular desk, hoping for a distraction, but seeing the three beautiful damsels manning the phones only made me think of Kate.

  I turned to Blake. “I’d like to see her while I’m here.”

  “Who?”

  “Kate.”

  He glanced over, and I didn’t miss the panic he tried to hide in his eyes.

  Keeping me from Jaxon was one thing, but Kate too? I erupted. “You can’t keep me in a bubble forever, Blake. I’m ready to talk to her. She could have answers.”

  He blew out air as his shoulders dropped. “It’s not that. You’d be fine seeing her… if she were here still.”

  I stopped short. “What do you mean? Where is she?”

  Blake glanced around before ushering me under the enormous breadfruit tree. He frowned. “She… escaped last week.”

  My mouth went dry. “What? And you didn’t think you should tell me?” It was one thing to question the girl who’d done so much damage when she was ‘behind bars,’ but quite another to know she was free. Was she out there plotting something again? With Sammy?

  “I didn’t want to worry you, Sam. Her trial was scheduled for tomorrow. She’d been nothing but compliant, repentant even. Then one morning last week, she was just gone.”

  “And nobody saw anything? What about the surveillance cameras?” I asked, trying to swallow down the rising panic, but my tongue suddenly felt like it was too large for my mouth.

  “Something tripped them out.” Blake took me by the shoulders. “Sam, she probably just didn’t want to stand trial for what she’d done. I’m sure she’s long gone, and besides…” His face softened as he pulled me closer. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  I knew now what he’d been trying to hide from me. Coming to the island had forced him to tell me that Kate had escaped. But he shouldn’t be keeping stuff like this from me in the first place.

  “You should’ve told me, Blake. The last time something tripped out the wires, Sammy and Kate broke into Tonbo’s lab and stole serum,” I reminded him. “Kate escaping… well, it can’t be a good thing.”

  “I know,” he admitted to my surprise. “I’ve wanted to tell you since I found out, but I didn’t want to scare you. You’ve been through so much already.”

  The pain I saw in his eyes softened my rebuttal. His honesty with me was something we’d have to work on, but standing in the middle of a lobby wasn’t the time or place.

  “Come on, let’s not think about her right now,” he said, steering me away from the breadfruit tree. “There’s someone dying to see you. Every time I come, he begs me to bring you.”

  I sighed and grumbled. “Oh, alright. Let’s go see Tonbo. I’ve missed him too.”

  His smile grew as he stretched out his wings. I couldn’t help but be captivated by the way the light bounced off his blue-green, iridescent wings. He reached out a hand to me, his eyes expectant, waiting for me to follow after. I let my wings come to life and grabbed his fingers. We lifted up through the open lobby, stopping on the tenth floor. Like last time, we hadn’t even knocked before the double walnut doors swung inward. Tonbo’s face peered out at us, the wisps
of silver in his round, black eyes as hypnotizing as ever. The smile and warm greeting I’d expected, however, were nowhere to be seen.

  Instead, he shooed us in. “Come in, come in! No one out there can be trusted!”

  With that, his little arms ushered us through the doors, practically shoving us into his private office. The doors slammed behind us. I glanced at Blake, thinking it was nothing more than another odd moment with Tonbo. My grin died on my lips as I saw Blake’s concern.

  “What do you mean?” Blake asked. “Tonbo, what’s going on?”

  Tonbo’s onyx eyes widened, the silver streaking through the black pulling me in. “There are enemies in our midst, Blake,” Tonbo announced. Glancing at me, he added, “Does she know about Kate?”

  Blake nodded, and Tonbo continued, “Kate’s not the only one to disappear. Others have gone missing too.”

  My stomach sickened. I wasn’t sure which scenario was worse—Kate escaping or her being taken. Either way, it didn’t bode well.

  Blake’s eyes were fastened on Tonbo. “Who else is missing?” he asked, his jawline taut.

  “Ancients,” Tonbo replied, his shoulders sagging. “Some of my dearest friends. Ones who would have never left on their own. Just gone. Someone is taking them.”

  Blake grimaced. “Do you think it’s Kory?”

  “It’s the only conclusion I can come to,” Tonbo said, sighing heavily. “As to why, I don’t know. What would he want with them? They aren’t trained soldiers. They’re some of the kindest souls I know.”

  Although I hadn’t met any of the ancients, I remembered Mack had mentioned them as being some of the first Dragon Fae. They lived in the Outskirts, the islands outside the main channel, surrounding City. They didn’t leave because many of them couldn’t morph back to human form or use camo to hide themselves. Tonbo spoke warmly of his friends, but for some reason, I had a healthy fear of the ancients. It was something Mack had said about them, though I couldn’t remember what it had been.

  “Why indeed?” Blake repeated, almost to himself. “You think his army has formed already? Maybe he’s sending the bugs in after the ancients?”

  Tonbo flinched. “I sure hope not.”

  “How many are gone?” Blake asked.

  “Four so far. From different family clusters,” Tonbo answered, rubbing his chin. “All of them taken while at the beach. No one has seen anything… but with camo, that isn’t too surprising. What’s more alarming is the lack of scents left behind.”

  “Do you think Kate’s disappearance is related to theirs?” I asked, hoping her being gone really had nothing to do with Sammy.

  “Perhaps,” Tonbo said. “It has me thinking if Kory is behind all of this, he’s got someone on the inside helping him out.” Tonbo glanced at his doors leading out of his office. “Trust no one, Blake and Samantha.”

  I suppressed the ironic laughter I felt within. Trust no one is my life’s mantra. Although, I thought, glancing at Blake, I do trust Blake. Even with his annoying habit of withholding information from me. And Tonbo didn’t send my creep vibes into overdrive. The only other person I was still struggling to quantify my feelings over was Mack. But I refuse to believe he’s the inside guy.

  Blake met my gaze. “Sam, I think it’s time we go see Mack.”

  Tonbo’s lips twitched into a frown. “Ahh, my poor Mack. I can’t make heads or tails to what happened between you and him, Samantha.”

  “That makes two of us, Tonbo,” I answered as Blake stepped closer, taking my hand in his. “But I think it’s time I talk to him again. I don’t like the idea of him sitting in some holding cell.” Tonbo threw his arms up. “Nor do I. He was granted full pardon for his actions. There’s no lock on his room. He’s free to go whenever he chooses.”

  “Does he ever leave?” Blake asked, his tone a bit too hard for my liking. I glanced over, wanting to know what he was thinking, but Tonbo sighed.

  “No. That boy will not forgive himself.” Tonbo scratched the back of his head. “I hate to admit it, but the last few days with your brother have kept me from seeing Mack. I’m glad you’re going to see him. And will you be visiting Jaxon after?”

  “No, not today,” Blake answered before I could get a word out. I knew I shouldn’t be disappointed, but I was. It’s probably a really bad idea, anyway.

  Chapter 6

  The images I’d conjured of an actual prison cell were nothing like what I found Mack in. The cot bed and plain chair gave it more of a mental hospital feeling than a jail. The restroom was down the hall. According to the guard, that was the only time Mack would leave his holding cell. The door was shut, but through the rectangular glass window, I got a clear view of Mack as we approached.

  My stomach clenched. With his spiky hair turned into a shaggy mess and no glasses, I hardly recognized him. He leaned against the wall, where the headboard would’ve been if the bed had a frame. He didn’t notice us until Blake opened the door, glancing first at Blake and then me.

  His eyes widened and he jumped to his feet, running his hands up and down his face before putting his glasses back on. In that moment, I had to resist the urge to make a spectacle of myself. I wanted to hurl myself past Blake and throw my arms around Mack. Everything about this felt wrong. His eyes widened even further as I drew close.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked. I tried to ignore the frown he shot at Blake. “I told you I didn’t want her to come here.”

  Blake shrugged. “I don’t think anyone can tell Sam what to do. She wanted to see you.” To my surprise, Blake gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Hey, I’ll be right outside the door when you’re done, okay?”

  “Okay, thanks,” I said, surprised he seemed to know what I needed right then. I turned to Mack as the door clicked behind Blake. We were alone. Maybe now he’ll stop frowning.

  Instead, Mack sat back down on his bed, his face contorting into a grimace. It was so unlike the Mack I knew.

  “Hey, I’ve come all this way to see you and this is how you treat me?” I asked, trying to make light of the situation.

  As soon as I sat down next to him, I could feel him tense. I reached over and touched his shoulder. “Mack, hey, it’s me here. What’s wrong?”

  He grunted. “What’s wrong? You shouldn’t be here. I don’t deserve you coming to see me. I don’t deserve Blake letting you.” “Well, Blake doesn’t get to say what I do or don’t do,” I said, annoyed Mack was under the impression he did. I ignored the fact he’d refused to let me see Jaxon. That’s different…

  “Of course I’m going to come see you. You’re being ridiculous staying in here in the first place. No one’s keeping you here.”

  “That doesn’t matter, Sammy.”

  I let the name slide. Mack had been calling me that for so long, I wondered if he even noticed the difference anymore.

  “I need to serve my time. I committed crimes. Against the islands, against Tonbo and Blake, and most importantly, against you.” His voice softened a bit with the last statement. He cleared his throat. “I will do whatever Tonbo decides.”

  “But he already decided that you’re free to go. The door’s not even locked.”

  He glanced away from me and shook his head.

  “Mack.” I squeezed his shoulder. “It’s time to come home. I mean, what do your parents think? Don’t they miss you?”

  “They think Tonbo’s training me for something,” he answered, his shoulder’s slumping. “That’s what Tonbo told them when they called him to find out where I went.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s good.”

  “No, it’s not. No one should be doing me favors. I’m the monster. Remember, Samantha?”

  Back to Samantha again. “No, you’re not. I am. I’m Sammy, and Sammy’s me. In some freaky way, I’m my own monster. So stop moping around here. I need you,” I blurted.

  Mack glanced over at me.

  I hesitated, and then let it all out. “It’s not the same without you back home… I need my best friend bac
k. My parents have me going to this creepy psychologist, trying to figure out Sammy, but you know her better than anyone else does. You’re the one I should be talking to, not some doctor. I’m scared to death of her coming back. I don’t know how to do this alone; I need your help.”

  I hadn’t realized how much I needed Mack in my life until that exact moment. My words were a revelation. Mack’s eyebrows lifted, the scowl disappearing.

  “I’m so sorry, Sammy-er-Samantha,” he stammered.

  “It’s okay, Mack. I’m used to you calling me Sammy. I’m good with it, really.”

  “No, I shouldn’t call you that.” He sighed. “You deserve better, Samantha. I guess I thought staying here was the best thing for you. I mean, I’m just a reminder of all the horrible things in your life.”

  “That’s not true, Mack. Sure, I don’t like to think about what happened, but Sammy could still be in my life right now. That doesn’t change if you disappear on me.”

  “I guess I didn’t think about that.” He gazed back at me. “I just want to do whatever helps you.”

  “Then come home,” I said, nudging his shoulder with mine.

  He gave me half a smile. “Will that help, Sam…” He flushed before finishing, “—ster?”

  I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Samster? That’s what you’re going to call me now?”

  It made me happy to see Mack’s face split into a real smile this time. “What? It’s like hamster but with—”

  “No way. I’d rather you call me Sammy.”

  “Hamsters are cute,” he said, pretending to argue.

  “Hamsters bite,” I reminded him.

  “True, but I’m pretty sure Sammy didn’t add hamster DNA to your blend, so I’m not worried.”

  I slugged his shoulder, glad to have an excuse to laugh at the crud in my life.

  He pulled my hand free from his shoulder. “Geez, your blend sure makes you punch hard, though.”

  “Oh whatever,” I said, realizing he had yet to let go of my hand. I knew I wasn’t in love with Mack, but there was a part of me that still longed for his closeness. Was it proof that Sammy was still in there somewhere? Or just the fact that Mack had been my first and only true friend for many, many years? Knowing Blake waited outside the door, I stood up and used our clasped hands to pull Mack to his feet.