Secluded Nature

by Lindsey Brewster

  I suddenly feel very worn out, even though I've been asleep for a week.

  "Sleep, Abbey. We'll talk later. Just wake up this time."

  I use my free hand to pull the covers up.

  "Just don't let go."

  I wake up gasping, trying to get back to reality. "Abbey?" Luke.

  I know I'm sobbing at this point. I'm trying to calm down, but nothing's working. Mason is on my left and Luke on my right. I look up at Mason.

  "He's back." I suck in a shallow breath. Mason looks down and shakes his head.

  "No, he's not Abbey. It was just a dream. He wouldn't set foot in here. It's just the pain. They’re weaning you off the pain medicine so you can go home after tomorrow night. I'm gonna go get a cool rag to put on your face.”

  I'm steadying my breathing, and Luke is watching me like I'm about to fall apart.

  I look at him, and I feel my eyes well up with tears. "Luke…" A sob catches in my throat. He sits down on the bed beside me and pulls me against him.

  "Shhh, baby girl, it's gonna be okay. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you."

  I hold on to him like he's my life line. Mason comes back and begins wiping my face.

  "I was so worried about you."

  "I'm fine. What exactly were my injuries?"

  He sighs. "A shocked spine and CNS, concussion, and brain swelling for starters. You have an injured ankle, they just don't know how bad yet, and a nasty cut on your arm."

  “What do you mean they don’t know how bad my ankle is?

  “Well, the x-rays didn’t show a broken bone, but the MRI looked bad. The ortho guy said all MRIs look screwed up after a sprain, so he had to see you walk on it.”

  “Abbey, I don’t know if you know what this means, but what do they mean by shocked spine and CNS?”

  “It means that there was a lot of jarring to my spine that temporarily paralyzed my body so it could try and fix itself. It pretty much shut down.” He sits back in a chair; his eyes look so dark.

  “How long has it been since you’ve slept?”

  “Six days.”

  “Mason, go to my house and get some sleep. I promise I’ll be okay. I look up at Luke who looks worse. “You too. I’ll be fine.”

  Luke shakes his head. “I’m staying here.”

  Mason pipes up “So am I.”

  I cross my arms the best I can with the IV. I’m so sore.

  “One of you is going to my house and you’re going to get some sleep. If neither of you go, I’m getting the nurse to escort your asses out.”

  “How are you still capable of being such a smart ass after you almost died?”

  “Now, dear cousin, don’t tell me you didn’t miss this.”

  He actually gives me a genuine smile. “Oh, I missed it. I’ll go get some sleep first, then Luke can go.”

  I nod and sit back in my bed. The nurse chooses now to come in.

  “How are you doing?”

  “Sore, but well. I’d be even better if we could get the catheter out and I could eat.

  “Well, no food until tomorrow. Sorry. And yeah we can get the catheter out. Boys, you need to step out.”

  Mason comes over and kisses me on the cheek. “See ya later.”

  “See ya.”

  They step out of the room and the nurse removes it. I’m able to sit up in the bed comfortably now. Luke comes back in and sits beside me on the bed.

  “I didn’t get this big of a bed when I was here. Yours is huge.”

  “You don’t practically run the OR floor of the children’s hospital, either.”

  “How sore are you?”

  “To be honest, I haven’t really tried to move much, but let’s see.”

  I move my arms; the one with stitches is tight and sore. My neck and head are throbbing. My whole right side hurts. My right leg is what hurts the worst, though.

  “It’s not the most pleasant. I’m sorer than I expected, but I’ll get better.”

  “What do you mean ‘sorer than you expected?’ You do realize you were in critical condition until three days ago, right? I thought I was going to lose you. I watched you practically die in the ambulance, and you’re sorer than you expected?”

  I’m completely taken aback at his words. The reality of it finally sinks in. I almost died, and I’m acting as if it’s nothing. Tears start to stream down my face as the flashbacks begin. His hand on my leg, the light turning red, the car, the ambulance ride, and falling in and out of consciousness. A strong pair of arms come around me. He holds me lightly, trying to be careful of all the bruises. I painfully put my arms around his neck and bury my head in his shoulder.

  “I should be dead, Luke. He hit me straight on. I shouldn‘t feel this okay. My legs were stuck. There was blood everywhere, I couldn’t focus on anything. The ambulance ride… I couldn’t move at all. I was trying to get to you, and I couldn’t move. My body just wouldn’t work. And then I kept trying to wake up. I could hear people around me talking, and I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn’t open. I kept trying. When Brayden thought he could wake me up with a kiss, I couldn’t even feel the kiss. And then he asked you if you were my Prince Charming and you said you didn’t know, I wanted to scream you were, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. You told me not to give up, and I didn’t, but the blackness… it was so overwhelming. I kept fighting it.” At this point I’m sobbing. Luke moves back so he can look at me. He has tears streaming down his face, too.

  “Abbey, I thought I was going to lose you. You made my life make sense, and then it was like it was all ripped away from me. I thought for sure you had gotten killed. I blame myself for all of this; if I hadn’t pushed you, we wouldn’t have been in the car. When I was trying to get you out, there was so much blood and glass. You had glass all over your head, and you couldn’t keep your eyes open. Then we finally got you out and everything went south in the ambulance. They took you away from me because you were so critical. They wouldn’t give me any information since I wasn’t family. I had to call Mason. When he finally got here, we were able to talk to the doctors. They told us that your body was paralyzed, you didn’t respond to pain, your brain was swelling.

  “They had put you in a coma, but after they took you out, you still wouldn’t wake up. The thing that tore at me after that was Brayden. When he first got to see you, all he could do was hold your hand, crying for you to wake up. He said you had to wake up and that he loved you. He looked up at me and just kept crying, saying you had to wake up. And in that moment, Abbey, I realized that he was saying everything that was built up inside of me. That you had to wake up, and that I love you.”

  Those last three words shocked me into silence. I’m staring down at my hands while sitting in his lap. It scares me that I actually believe him. I have no doubt in my mind. I can’t even push it off as him just being scared of me dying because of the conviction in his words.

  “Abbey, I’m not expecting anything back.”

  “Luke I-I don’t, it’s not like I don’t-I just-”

  “Hey, stop. Look at me. I’m not expecting some declaration of love from you. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being around you, it’s that you don’t speak your feelings well. I just wanted to tell you. I just wanted you to know.”

  I look up at him and see nothing but unconditional love in his eyes. There are not many people in my life that give me that look. I try to lean up and kiss him, but my body protests. I wince in pain.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yep, two seconds.”

  The waves of pain start to fade, and I give him a reassuring smile.

  “Could you lean down here for a minute?”

  He looks at me questioningly, but leans down. “Wh-”

  I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. His hands come up to cradle my face as I pour every emotion I’m feeling into the kiss. I tell him I love him, too, in that kiss. His hands run down my sides and I flinch back.

  “Shoot, sorry.”

  I shake my head, di
smissing it. I lean my head back against his chest and slow my breathing. The intercom in my room goes off.

  “Abbey your heart monitor shows that your heart rate increased dramatically. Is everything okay?”

  I cough, trying to cover up my laugh. “Yes ma’am, everything’s fine.”

  “Okay, sweetie, it’s three in the morning, you might want to get some sleep.”

  The intercom clicks off and I sag against his chest.

  “Abbey, what was that?”

  “That was the nurse…”

  “Haha, real funny. No. I mean the kiss.”

  I close my eyes. “That was your answer. The one thing you are right about is that I don’t talk about my feelings. To get me to, you practically have to beat it out of me. Will you sleep on the bed with me?”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  “Luke, I sleep on my right side and from what I can see, it is covered in bruises, and it hurts to be touched. The only way I’m going to sleep on my left side is if I’m curled up against you and, let’s face it, this room is like an ice box. And after that dream… I don’t want to be alone. I don’t even want to go back to sleep.”

  “No one is going to hurt you.”

  “When these nightmares are vivid, it doesn’t matter. Please, I’m begging you. The bed is big enough.”

  He sighs and pulls the sheet and blanket up over us. I curl up next to him. The pain wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be laying on my left side. “Good night, baby. I love you.”

  “Night.” I close my eyes, content, but fearful.

  Chapter 12

  I wake up the next morning to voices, including a particularly whiny one. “Dad, can I wake her up yet? Please. She’s been asleep for forever.”

  Luke’s fingertips are tracing over mine.

  I keep my eyes closed but playfully grumble, “What’s with all the whining?”

  “ABBEY!!!”

  I grin as I open my eyes to a boy who is practically jumping up and down. I go to turn, but I realize I’m more sore than I was yesterday. Luke's hand is held out to me, and I take it, pushing against him to sit up.

  I huff as I sit back. Luke slides off and Brayden climbs on.

  “Careful, buddy.” Luke steps up, and I shake my head. “He knows.”

  He looks at me and I smile. “You can hug me, just be gentle.”

  He leans down and he cautiously puts his arms around me. I bring mine around him and pull him against me, ignoring the protest of my ribs.

  “I missed you, Abbey! You were like sleeping beauty.”

  “I missed you too, handsome. Sleeping Beauty? That’s sweet.”

  “No you really were! I tried to kiss you, but you wouldn’t wake up.”

  “It’s okay. Why do you look so sad?”

  “I thought I was your Prince Charming, but I’m not.” He huffs; it's adorable.

  I touch his cheek. “That’s okay, you’re still my handsome little man.”

  He seems to brighten up, and lays next to me.

  “Wanna find something to watch?”

  He nods and I hand him the remote. He scoots up next to me so he can rest his head on my arm.

  Will begins to tell him to get up, but I shake my head. “I’m not a piece of glass, you know.”

  “Well, short stuff, you need to be treated like one right now. We got here as soon as we could. I think you tore his heart in half when he saw you in the bed.”

  “It’s not like I planned on it.”

  “I know, Abs.”

  Luke coughs and I look over at him. “I’m gonna step out and grab some food. Do any of you want anything?”

  Will shakes his head and I grimace; I still haven’t been cleared to eat. Brayden sits up, “I want some gummy bears, please!”

  Will and I both say Brayden’s name in unison.

  Luke laughs, “No, it’s cool! I’ll get the gummy bears.”

  Luke leaves, leaving Will and I alone with a dozing six year old.

  “So, do you like him?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “You know, I see right through that wall, and I’m starting to think he does, too. So let me ask you this- do you love him?” Brayden is suddenly wide awake and listening.

  Stuttering, I manage to get out, “Psh, that’s ridiculous. I haven’t known him long enough.”

  “You done making excuses? You wanna tell me the truth now?”

  “Fine, yes, dammit,” I grumble. “It’s like I fell off a cliff into water, and I’m in way over my head.”

  Will throws his head back laughing at me, and I shoot him a glare.

  “It’s about damn time, Abbey. I’ve been waiting for this.”

  “What?”

  “You’re finally somewhere where you can’t control the circumstances, and I’ll even put money on the fact that you haven’t told him. He’s told you, right? God, this makes my weak.”

  “How did you know?”

  “Because I know you, and I saw the disappointment in your face when he got off the bed and left a minute ago. You might think no one notices, but I do. I know you. I’ve known you since you were born. You can fool whoever, but you’re not going to slide it past me.”

  “Will, I just… I don’t know anymore.”

  “I know, and that’s the scary part. You’re scared out of your mind, because your heart is in someone else’s hands.”

  “It sucks. I don’t even have the guts to tell him.”

  Brayden pipes up, “He’s your Prince Charming?”

  I nod looking down at him “I think so.”

  “That’s not fair! I’m supposed to be! I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Brayden, but the love I have for Luke is different. I’m never going to stop loving you.”

  “But you’ll forget about me when you stay with him.”

  “No, baby, I won’t forget about you. You’re my little man.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I am, Brayden.”

  He looks satisfied with my answer and settles back into his cartoons. Soon after, the doctor comes in.

  “How’s it going, Dr. Cartwright?

  “Really well, considering what happened.”

  “Well, we want to get you on your feet today so you can go to the bathroom and eat on your own”

  “That would be wonderful.”

  “Alright, I’m gonna grab a nurse so there will be two people that can hold you up. Where did Mr. Roberts go?”

  “He went to get some food and a shower, I assume.”

  “He never left your side once he got back here with you. He slept in that chair right beside you. He wanted to be here when you woke up.”

  “... I didn’t know that.”

  He nods in confirmation and leaves to get a nurse.

  He comes back in with a male nurse. Will gets up and stands by my bed and the nurse joins him. The nurse unhooks the machines and undoes the tubing to the IV. I slowly scoot my way to the edge of the bed, trying to keep the straightest face possible and mask the pain, making Will look down at me with sympathy.

  I get to the edge of my bed and place my feet on the floor. I push up off the bed, wobbling to my feet. An arm comes around my waist to steady me. I take a deep breath and a step forward. God dammit, it hurts so bad. I take another one, and it feels just as bad, but at least I can walk.

  “Alright, guys let go of her and let’s see how she walks on her own. Abbey, I want you to walk to the bathroom door.”

  I take a deep breath and continue forward. By the time I reach it, I have tears streaming down my face.

  “Abbey, I’m happy to tell you it’s just a really bad sprain on your ankle and we are going to give you a boot for it.”

  I turn around. “Yeah, well, I’m not walking back to the damn bed. I’ll sit here on the floor for the rest of the day.”

  Will grins at me. “Is it okay if I carry her back to the bed, Doc?”

  “Yeah. You can eat now, too, Abbey. I’ll p
ut in the orders in.”

  “Thank you.”

  I get back to the bed and close my eyes. Brayden pats my leg. “You’ll get better, Abbey. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, kiddo.”

  A few minutes later, Luke walks in and is carrying a bag of gummy bears and coffee.

  He hands the bag of gummy bears to Brayden and looks up at me.

  “What’s wrong? Why have you been crying?”

  “They had me get up and walk. I can walk, it just hurts like hell.”

  He sits down beside me and takes my hand, his thumb rubbing circles on it.

  “That’s good, considering what they thought…”

  “I know.”

  Will stands up. “We are gonna head out. I need to get him some lunch, and we’re going to take a nap.”

  “But Dad-”

  “No arguing.”

  He sighs and stands up on my bed and tells Luke to come to him. I look up at him in surprise, but Luke bends down enough so they are eye level.

  “What’s up?”

  “Mr. Luke, I’m going to get in trouble for saying this, but if you hurt Abbey I’m gonna kick your butt. My sister says Prince Charming would never hurt the girl he likes, so you can’t hurt her.”

  My mouth is now hanging open in shock. Will looks like he’s going to murder his own son, but he also looks like he will burst with pride.

  Luke blinks and nods. “I understand. I don’t plan on hurting Abbey, and if I do, you can kick my butt.”

  Brayden sits down still looking serious and gives me a hug and kiss. “Love you.”

  “Love ya too, handsome.”

  Will kisses my forehead and picks up his son. “You are in so much trouble, son. I’m not sure you will ever see the light of day again.”

  Brayden nods.

  “Hey, Will?”

  “Yeah?”

  I mouth the words ‘Go easy on him’ to him with a wink and he chuckles. “I’ll think about it. See you later. And Abbey?”

  “Hmm?”

  “If you talk to him about what we talked about, I won’t punish Brayden.”

  “I hate you so much.”

  “Please Abbey!! I’m sure Mr. Luke will understand.”