Secluded Nature

by Lindsey Brewster

  “I’m sure he will, but I’m not sure I will.”

  Will winks at me and leaves.

  Luke sits beside me and I rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes, feeling very tired. His arm wraps around me.

  “So, what are you supposed to talk to me about?”

  “Stuff.”

  “Abbey…”

  I can’t really hold my eyes open anymore.

  “What?”

  “Tell me.”

  “Mmmm, I’m taking a nap.”

  He shakes me slightly. “Abbey, come on.”

  “If I tell you, can I go to sleep?”

  “Yes, baby.”

  “How I love you, but I’m also scared out of my mind.”

  I drift off while hearing him murmur. “Well that’s helpful, and now you’re going to go to sleep so we can’t talk about it, aren’t you?”

  I sigh and snuggle into him and his warmth.

  Chapter 13

  I open my eyes to a darkened room and the sound of my stomach growling.

  “Hey, sunshine. Mason dropped you off some food. He had to leave, someone called with an emergency.”

  I nod, rubbing my eyes. “How’d you sleep?”

  “Good, actually.” I sit up and he follows suit. I scoot to the edge of the bed and hobble to my feet.

  Luke comes around the bed, practically running. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to the bathroom, since I have my bodily functions back.”

  “Let me help you.”

  “No, I’m going to do it on my own. I need to be able to do this when I’m back home.” I make small steps to the bathroom, cautious and padding steps like a baby. Luke is still trying to follow me around like an overprotective parent with a toddler, even as I go inside.

  “Nope, you are staying out there. If I can make it here, I can make it in the bathroom.”

  “Okay. Your mom brought you some clothes. Do you want them?”

  “Please.”

  He goes to retrieve them and drops them inside the door. I finish up and grab the bag, setting it on the counter. I take the gown off and slip the sports bra and tank top on. I grab some panties and slip them on, grabbing the sweatpants next. These are hard to get on. I get one leg fully in but my other one gets stuck. I lose my balance and try to catch myself on the counter, but end up on my ass.

  “Ooomf!”

  “Abbey!”

  The pain is radiating through my body. It takes all of my willpower not to cry and scream.

  “Abbey, are you okay?”

  I don’t answer, my mouth is clenched from the pain, my face twisted in agony. The bathroom door flies open and Luke is down on the floor beside me.

  “Abbey, open your eyes. Look at me.”

  I shake my head still trying to get the pain under control, but it’s not working.

  I hear him shift, and then I’m in his arms, carrying me back to the bed. He gently lays me down and leans over me. I hear a beeping sound go off and a moment later the door opens. I hear people come in. There is no way I’m opening my eyes or talking at this moment; this hurts way too much.

  I try taking some more deep breaths, but it’s not helping. I’m sure tears are streaming down my face by now.

  “What’s going on?”

  “She was in the bathroom and fell. The only thing I can get out of her is her shaking her head.”

  I hear someone walk over to me. “Abbey, I need you to open your eyes. I need to check them and see if you’ve hit your head.”

  I take a shallow breath in and open them.

  “There we go.”

  “I want you to follow my finger.” He shines a light in my eyes and I follow his fingers. This is all happening in slow motion. The pain is excruciating.

  “You need to tell me what you hit.”

  I take in a shallow breath opening my mouth to speak, but it hurts so bad. My voice shaky, “I fell on my butt.”

  The doctor looks down at me concerned. “Can you move your feet?”

  I move them, but sob in pain.

  He tells the nurse to get me some pain medicine and reattaches the tubing to the IV.

  “You’re going to go back to sleep for a while with this, but it’s going to take a lot of the pain away.”

  I nod, just wanting it to go away. I scan the room and Luke is standing at the end of my bed with a pained face.

  The doctor takes the medicine from the nurse and feeds it into my IV. The next thing I know, I’m slipping back into the darkness that once consumed me.

  I wake up sometime later, seeing that the sky out my window is still dark. “Hey Abbs, how ya doing?”

  Will. I reach over next to me, not feeling Luke. I hear the heart monitor pick up as I start panicking. “Abbey, calm down. How’s the pain?”

  “It’s fine. Where is he?”

  “Mason practically knocked him out when he found out that Luke let you fall.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Mason had him escorted out.”

  All I can see is red. “Where is Mason?”

  “He went to grab a cup of coffee. What are you doing, Abbey?”

  “I’m going to deal with it. I’m not feeling anything at the moment, but he’s about to.”

  “Abbey…”

  Mason walks through the door and smiles at me. “Hey, gorgeous.”

  I glare at him and he sighs. “You told her?”

  “Well, when she wakes up and practically has a panic attack because he’s not here, I had to tell her.”

  “Abbey, I should have never left you with him. I thought I could trust him not to let you get hurt again.”

  “Shut up, Mason.”

  “No, Abbey.”

  “Shut the fuck up and get out. You can’t just kick someone out of MY hospital room. I was fully conscious when it happened. God, I was the stubborn one that didn’t let him come in.”

  “Abbey-”

  “No, if I wanted him gone, I would’ve told him to go. That wasn’t your decision. You’re so stupid.”

  “What the hell has gotten into you, Abbey?”

  “You! You are so controlling. I’m your cousin and I’m in love with your best friend.”

  Mason takes a step back, shocked. A nurse rushes in and hits a monitor that is going off.

  “Your heart rate and blood pressure are too high. You need to relax.”

  I lie back in the bed and look at Mason. “Luke comes back and you both can stay, or you leave and he comes back. Either way, he better be back beside me when I wake up.”

  The nurse adds another dose of something. “This is going to make you relax. It’s not as strong as what Dr. Wilson gave you, but it is still effective.”

  I close my eyes and slip back to sleep with silence around me.

  I wake up feeling weird. What did she give me? I can’t breathe. I try to grab whatever is near me and I come in contact with a hand. I’m gasping, and there’s suddenly something placed over my face. I’m struggling to remain conscious.

  I hear yelling. “I want 65 cc’s of it now. She’s allergic to it, let’s go!”

  I hear Luke’s voice. “Abbey, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be fine. I’m right here.”

  My eyes open and Luke’s right there beside me. Mason and Will are standing at the end of the bed.

  I’m starting to take deeper breaths and Dr. Wilson is looking down at me.

  “Dr. Cartwright, you’re allergic to Dilaudid, one of the most widely used pain medicines out there.”

  I look up at him and nod so he knows I understand. There is no way in hell this mask is coming off yet.

  He looks at me with kind eyes. “You keep that mask on as long as you like. You are fine to take it off at any time, but that is up to you.”

  I nod again, and he walks out.

  Everyone in the room lets out a deep breath. Mason walks out and Will comes over to stand by me.

  “You scared the hell out of us, kid. Mason is still in sho
ck from earlier and now he feels guilty about this. You really put him in his place this time. He didn’t expect that.” He kisses my forehead. “I’ve got to go get Brayden, he’s probably driving your parents insane. Your mom will be here in the morning. I don’t know about your dad, though.”

  I suck in a deep breath and give him a thumb’s up. He steps out of the room, leaving Luke alone with me.

  He’s sitting beside me on the bed and I turn to look at him, pulling the mask off and slowly taking some deep breaths. Once I’m sure I’m fine, I turn into his arms and cry. Too much is happening today. I just want to go home and lock myself in my room.

  He runs his hand reassuringly up and down my back. “Shhh, it’s okay. I never left the hospital. I was always here.”

  “But Mason kicked you out...”

  “I wasn’t leaving. You wanted me here. He came and got me as soon as you went to sleep.”

  “Where did he go?”

  “I don’t know. He apologized, though.”

  My tears have stopped, and I look up at him. I reach up and trace the circles under his eyes. “You need to sleep.”

  “I will once you’re home later today.”

  “I’ve been asleep that long?”

  “Yeah.”

  Mason comes back in and looks at us. “Luke, would you mind if I had a private word with Abbey?”

  Luke shifts me back onto the bed and slides off. I nod as he looks at me to see if I’m feeling okay enough to be alone with Mason. “No problem.”

  Luke leaves and Mason sits in the chair beside me.

  “So, you love him?”

  “Yeah. And it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever dealt with.”

  “I don’t think he would purposefully hurt you.”

  “Me either.”

  “Abbey, you have to be careful of some people in his family, though. His mom and sister are wonderful, but his cousins, not so much.”

  “I kinda got that when he freaked out on me about his family.”

  “If you ever need me, you call me, and I’ll be there. You know that.”

  “I know, Mason. I don’t plan on abandoning you all just because I love him. I’m still the same person.”

  “I know, but it’s still different.” I sit up to hug him, the soreness slowly fading.

  He reaches down and pulls me against him. “I love you, gorgeous.”

  “Love you, too, hot stuff.”

  He walks out and Luke comes back in. He opens his mouth to say something but the doctor comes in, interrupting him.

  “Well, Dr. Cartwright, it looks like you can eat something and go home.”

  “Finally.”

  He laughs wholeheartedly. “You’re not allowed to go back to work until your PCP clears it. You cannot do anything strenuous to your body. Baby steps on everything, including walking. I’d hate to see you in this part of the hospital again. I never thought I’d be working on one of the best doctors in the state.”

  I smile. “Thanks for the compliment, but I’m just ready to be in my own bed.”

  “The nurse will be in here with your discharge papers—oh, here she is now.”

  He holds his hand out and I shake it. “Thank you, Dr. Wilson.”

  “It’s my job.” He walks out and I sign the papers. She brings in a wheelchair and I get pushed out to my car.

  “Mine was ruined, so Mason got me yours.” I nod in response.

  I slowly get into the car and Luke runs the wheelchair back into the hospital. He comes back and we head back to my place. Once we get there, he helps me into the house and onto the couch.

  “What do you want to eat?”

  “Hmmm, soup?”

  “Sure, what kind?”

  “There’s some potato soup in the refrigerator you can heat up.”

  He gets to work on that and I turn on the news to catch up on what I’ve missed. After a while Luke comes back in with the soup. He hands it to me and shuts off the TV. I start downing the soup and am almost done when he starts to speak.

  “Can we talk while you eat?”

  “Mhmm.”

  God, I’m so hungry.

  “Abbey, you said you love me.”

  I look up, wide eyed, at him.

  He holds my gaze. “But you also said you’re scared.”

  I set my bowl aside, no longer interested in the food. I don’t know what he expects me to say, so I just sit there, staring at him.

  He sighs and angles his body more towards me.

  “Is it true, Abbey?”

  “It wouldn’t have left my mouth if it wasn’t.”

  “Why are you scared?”

  “There’s more than one reason.”

  “And those reasons are?”

  I take a deep breath and look down at my hands. “You could just leave me, and I’ll be stuck here, hurt and in love with you. I have no control over this, none, and I don’t deserve you, and soon you’re going to realize that.”

  His hand comes under my chin and lifts my head up. “I’m in this as deep as you are. You could just leave me, and I’d be in that same situation. Sometimes, having no control is best. Would you have fallen in love with me if you had control over it? No, I don’t think so. And Abbey, we deserve each other. There is no ‘I don’t deserve you’ or the other way around. Stop thinking like that, okay?”

  I nod my head and he leans down to kiss me. His hands cup my face and my hands come up to trace his. His tongue runs along my mouth and I willingly open. Our tongues twist in a sensual dance. I move up onto my knees, doing my best to ignore my body’s protests. He pulls away; I try to follow him, but he shakes his head.

  “You’re hurt.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Abbey…”

  “Fine. I’m going take a shower.”

  Chapter 14

  Over the next week, I gradually became less sore. Mom and Dad stopped by one day and that went well enough. Will and Brayden came to say goodbye, which was harder. Luke had to work on and off during the week, but I was gradually regaining my independence. By the end of the week, I’m pretty much back to normal. The sprain is doing better and I have gotten a brace instead of the boot. My back and head don’t hurt nearly as badly, and I’m walking almost normally.

  The only thing that isn’t back to normal is Luke. He will only touch me as if I’m a piece of glass. The only time I get a kiss is if he’s about to leave or if we are going to bed. I need him to touch me. I need him, and he won’t. I never knew forehead kisses could go from sweet to ‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me’. It’s actually gotten to the point that it hurts my feelings.

  I head to my room and get in the shower. I hear the bathroom door open as I’m rinsing my hair.

  “Hello?”

  “It’s just me, baby. I’m done with work today. I’m going to go watch some TV.”

  I sigh. “Okay.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  I hear the door close and finish up in the shower. I get out and slide on some jeans and a tank top. The bruises are yellowing and fading. There are a few that are so deep that it’ll be months before they’re fully gone.

  Walking out to the living room, I stop and grab a bottle of water before I settle onto the couch and rest my feet on Luke’s lap.

  “How are you feeling today?”

  “Better than ever, actually.”

  He smiles at me. “That’s great. Are you hungry?”

  I shake my head, leaning back into the couch to watch whatever he has on. We watch TV in silence for an hour or so.

  “You’re quiet today.”

  I just shrug and get a drink of water. I know he doesn’t read minds, but I’m just so sexually frustrated.

  “What’s wrong?”

  I stand, deciding to sleep off this mood. “There’s nothing to say. I’m going to take a nap.”

  I head to my room, leaving him on the couch, probably confused. Picking up my phone I call Nicole and go sit i
n my closet.

  “Hey, cripple, how’s it going?”

  “Nice to talk to you, too. Are you busy?”

  “Never for you. You’re my best friend, I just wish I was in state to take care of you. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “What is it? Has that gorgeous man hurt you?”

  “No… it’s just he won’t fucking touch me. I get forehead kisses and I didn’t think they could ever be annoying, but they are now. I get nothing from him anymore, nothing affectionate that is. God, I know I sound pathetic, but I miss him, Nicole, I miss it so much.”

  “Oh, honey, you’ve got it bad.”

  “Yeah. I just can’t be around him without wanting it. My emotions are so up in the air because of it. I want to cry half the time, or I just want to punch him.”

  “He’s hurt your feelings by trying not to hurt you. Oh girl, I don’t know what to say or tell you to do.”

  “I know, I just needed someone to listen.”

  “I’m sorry, hun. I’ve got a meeting with my editor in ten, I gotta go. Love you!”

  “Love you, too. Bye!”

  Rubbing my eyes, I go curl up in my bed. I wake up to Luke talking, so I quietly make my way out of my room. I stop at the wall that leads to the kitchen.

  “Dude, I don’t know what’s going on with her. Something’s wrong and she won’t tell me. Maybe you should—” he pauses. “I know you’re busy training, but—Yes, I know.”

  I walk out, annoyed that he would call Mason. He looks up at me, surprised, and I hold my hand out for the phone. He reluctantly hands it over.

  “Hey, Mason.”

  “Hey, Abbey. How much did you hear?”

  “A bit.”

  “Do I need to come in? What’s wrong?”

  “No, and I’m handling what’s wrong. It’s nothing you want to hear.”

  “You sure? I can try to be unbiased.” I walk back to my room holding my hand up for Luke not to follow.

  “You want to hear about my not so active sex life?”

  “Ummm…”

  “Yeah, he hasn’t touched me since before the wreck. And you know what? I’m fucking tired of forehead kisses.”

  I hear him reluctantly chuckle. “Abbey, he’s probably just trying to be careful.”