A Moment to Remember

by Dee Williams

  ‘I’ll see to the tea,’ said Milly quickly.

  ‘Where you been?’ asked Betty as Milly made her way into the kitchen.

  She quickly took off her coat and hat and donned her apron.

  ‘The missus was getting in a bit of a state. You should have been back before this.’

  ‘I know. But you know Jane, she didn’t want to hurry back.’

  ‘If you’re gonna take her out more often, you’ll have to be in charge and not let her have things all her own way.’

  ‘I know,’ mumbled Milly. ‘Shall I push the trolley in?’

  ‘Yes, go on with you.’ As Milly left the kitchen, Betty was worried. Jane was able to twist Milly round her little finger. She had done a lot for Milly and the girl would always be grateful, but she had to be careful. They were both growing up and one of these days Milly might want to leave, and what would Jane do about that?

  The kitchen door opened and Milly came back in. ‘That Mrs Robbins looked down her nose when I walked in, and as I left I heard her say to Mrs Green, “Well, I certainly wouldn’t let a servant of mine do what she likes.” Bloody cheek. I ain’t no servant of hers.’

  ‘Milly!’

  ‘Sorry, Betty. But that sort make me angry. Just because they have money, they think they can do and say what they like.’

  ‘And that’s when you go back to your old way of speaking.’

  ‘Yes, I know. I’ll have to be more careful when I get cross.’

  ‘Yes, you will. Now, those potatoes want peeling.’

  Milly sat at the table and picked up the knife. Perhaps she was beginning to take things for granted; after all, she was still just a servant, a common girl picked up from off the streets. She would have to be more careful in future and not get so cocky; after all, all this could disappear overnight.

  When the bell rang, she went into the drawing room.

  ‘Milly, could you bring Mrs Robbins’ wrap.’

  As Milly collected the wrap from the hall, the thought that went through her mind was: I’d like to wrap this round her neck, but she smiled sweetly and handed it to the woman.

  There was no thank you.

  She opened the front door and mother and daughter left.

  As soon as the door was shut, Jane turned on her mother. ‘I do wish you wouldn’t let that woman talk about Milly like that. She’s not a servant, she’s a friend.’

  ‘Yes, I know, dear. But I didn’t want to say too much, because as you know, I’m hoping that Catherine will become a very good friend of Richard’s.’ Mrs Green turned and looked deliberately at Milly as she said that.

  Milly felt uncomfortable. Did Mrs Green know how Richard felt about her? Had anything been said?

  ‘I think Richard would have something to say about that,’ said Jane.

  ‘Maybe. But when he’s in the army and requires a suitable partner to take to dinners and balls, it will have to be someone who is of the same standing as himself.’

  Jane looked at Milly. ‘I think Richard will make up his own mind.’

  ‘I just want to be sure.’ Mrs Green smiled.

  When Milly left the room, she felt uneasy. Had she outstayed her welcome here? Would Mrs Green like to see her go? What would Jane say about it if she were to leave? Milly felt very unhappy that night, and for a long while she sat looking at her bracelet. What would Richard say if she went away? Should she tell him her true feelings?

  Chapter 16

  THE FOLLOWING DAY they were outside when Jane said, ‘Let’s go to the park.’

  ‘Do you want me to get the sack?’

  ‘You can’t get the sack. I won’t let anybody send you away.’

  Milly smiled at the back of Jane’s head.

  ‘So it’s the park, or else I’ll tell my mother that you hit me and tipped me out of my chair.’

  ‘What? Jane, how could you?’

  ‘Well I have to get my own way somehow.’

  ‘You, Miss Jane, are very naughty.’

  ‘I know.’ She laughed. ‘Don’t be angry. After all, it’s the only pleasure I get. Come on, let’s go.’

  Reluctantly Milly did as Jane asked. As they wandered round, Milly was aware of the time, but as they passed the paddling pool, Jane said, ‘I want to paddle.’

  ‘What? Why are you behaving like this?’

  Jane looked up at Milly, her big blue-grey eyes shining with mischief. She batted her eyelids. ‘All I said was I would like to have a paddle like I did when Richard was here.’

  ‘And look at all the fuss it created when your mother found out.’

  ‘Yes, well that was Richard’s fault, he shouldn’t have said anything. Come on. Please.’

  ‘How do you think I’m going to be able to lift you out and hold you?’

  ‘You can. After all, you’re a strong girl.’

  ‘And you’re a big lump.’

  ‘I’m not that big.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Well then?’

  ‘No, I can’t. What if I dropped you?’

  ‘That would be very funny.’

  Milly was getting angry. ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘You could push my chair to the edge of the water and let me dangle my feet.’

  ‘I can do no such thing.’

  ‘Yes you can.’

  ‘We are going back.’

  Jane began laughing. ‘You look so funny when you’re angry. You should wear a bow, then it would wobble like mine.’

  ‘Don’t be silly.’

  ‘Oh Milly, don’t get upset. I only want to do what other people do.’

  ‘I know that and I’m very sorry. But I do have to look after you.’

  Everywhere women were sitting on benches fanning themselves. Jane settled back in her chair and Milly arranged her parasol to keep the sun off her head and the thin cover over her knees. Then she turned the wheelchair round and they made their way home.

  They were both very quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Milly was thinking that perhaps she could bring a towel with them next time, and push Jane’s wheelchair to the edge. After all, it was only a gentle slope down to the water.

  Jane was thinking how she would love to be like other people. Perhaps she could get Walton to help her try to walk, now she was stronger. She smiled to herself. She knew that if she kept on to Milly, she would let her paddle. Next time she would bring a towel, as she dared not go home with wet feet.

  A week later, Milly was able to take Jane to the park again.

  Although it was a warm afternoon, there weren’t many people around. Milly sat on a bench and watched the sunlight sparkle on the pond.

  ‘Please, Milly, let me dangle my feet in the lovely cool water,’ pleaded Jane.

  ‘No.’

  ‘I’ve brought a towel with me. Look.’ She produced it from under her cover.

  ‘I can’t. I’m worried that something terrible might happen.’

  ‘What could possibly happen?’

  Milly was trying desperately to find an excuse. ‘Somebody might see you and tell your mother.’

  ‘Who knows my mother round here?’

  ‘You never know.’

  ‘Please, let me, nobody will know. Besides, it isn’t that deep. You see children running in and out all the time.

  Milly looked around. ‘It’s not very ladylike to take your stockings off in public.’

  Jane laughed. ‘I’m no lady, and anyway, you did it very discreetly when Richard was here.’

  ‘I know. And you will have to wait till Richard comes home next week.’

  ‘It might rain then. Besides, I can do all sorts under my blanket. Come on, it won’t hurt. Please.’

  Milly looked at her friend. She would do anything to make Jane happy, and it did look very inviting. ‘Oh all right then.’ She took off Jane’s shoes and stockings and gently pushed her to the edge. The water lapped gently over the wheels, and Jane could feel it round her feet.

  ‘This is lovely.’ She was smiling.

&n
bsp; ‘Right. That’s enough.’ Milly pulled the wheelchair back and proceeded to dry Jane’s feet and put her shoes and stockings back on.

  ‘Thank you. That was wonderful.’

  ‘I was a bundle of nerves in case someone saw us.’

  ‘But they didn’t. Thank you, Milly. You are a true friend.’

  Although Milly was happy to see Jane so contented, she was still very anxious.

  ‘Don’t worry, this will be our little secret.’

  ‘But I am worried. I would hate to be sent away from you.’

  Jane put out her hand. ‘You need never worry about that. Nobody will send you away, not while I’m around.’

  ‘You all right?’ asked Betty when Milly came in from having tea with Walton, Mrs Green and Jane.

  ‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she said, putting the dishes in the sink.

  ‘You don’t look it. Did something happen while you was out?’

  ‘No,’ said Milly sharply.

  ‘That answer tells me that something did. Mind you, Jane seemed in a good mood when you got home.’

  Milly continued washing the dishes.

  ‘Did you see someone you know? Was it one of your family?’

  Milly looked up. ‘No.’ She had eventually told Betty where she came from and why she didn’t want to find Auntie Doris.

  Betty was busy stirring some flour into a mixing bowl. ‘Well it must have been something.’

  ‘Betty . . . ’ Milly began wiping her hands.

  ‘Come on, tell me. What is it?’

  Milly told her about letting Jane dangle her feet.

  ‘What!’

  ‘I know it was wrong, but what could I do? She looked so happy when she had her feet in the water.’

  ‘You should have turned the chair round and come straight back home. What was you doing in the park anyway?’

  Milly looked very guilty. ‘Please don’t tell Mrs Green, but we’ve been there before.’

  ‘What!’ Betty said again. ‘You are supposed to be in charge.’

  ‘I know, but you should have seen her face. She said she wanted to be like other people. Besides, it’s so hot.’

  ‘I know that, don’t I? This kitchen’s like an oven. Everybody’s talking about this heatwave.’ Betty mopped her brow with the bottom of her apron.

  ‘I know I shouldn’t, but I feel so sorry for her.’

  ‘I can see you had a problem. Poor girl, it is a shame. But you know the Missus, she worships that girl, and if anything happened to her, well, I dread to think of the consequences.’

  ‘Don’t say things like that. I wish Richard was here, then it would be out of my hands.’

  Betty was thinking that if Richard was here, Milly could have another problem.

  Milly’s dilemma was solved when Richard came home. He took Jane to the park whenever she wanted, and she was able to dangle her feet. The laughter that accompanied the three of them was a joy to hear. Both Richard and Milly joined in and paddled, and didn’t care who saw them, and at every opportunity Richard held Milly’s hand. She loved every minute of her days and didn’t want them to end. She loved him, and in her wildest moments she thought that if he attempted to come up to her room, she would welcome him with open arms and worry about the consequences afterwards. She was worried, though, that she might show her feelings when others were around. Jane thought it was lovely that they were so happy together. Richard had told his sister not to mention it to the family.

  ‘If you do, you know Ma would send Milly away, and you don’t want that, do you?’

  Jane shook her head. ‘My lips are sealed,’ she said, smiling at them.

  At the end of August, Milly was very sad when it was time for Richard to go back to college. He had told her that he loved her, and as much as he wanted to come to her room, he knew it wouldn’t be very wise.

  Although Milly admired his strength, she was disappointed, and deep down she knew nothing could ever come of this relationship. He would meet someone of his own class one day.

  It was still very warm at the beginning of September, and Milly continued to take Jane to the park and let her have her little paddle. Although she always felt very guilty, it pleased her to see her friend so happy, and they laughed and ate ice creams and were almost like children again. But she knew that if Mrs Green found out what they did, that would be the end of their trips, and could be the end of her life with the family.

  This particular day, she told Jane she was only going to push her round the houses, but Jane insisted that she wanted to go to the park.

  ‘I love going there, and I’ve got a towel with me,’ she said almost as soon as they left the house.

  ‘Oh no. We’re not going through that again, are we? Why can’t you just be happy that I’m taking you out?’

  ‘It’s because I want to be naughty and enjoy being disobedient; after all, I’m not a child. Besides, it’s hot today and I’m sure you would like a paddle too.’

  Jane could be very persuasive, and Milly had to admit that it was warm, and the water would look very cool and appealing. So against all her common sense, she found herself heading for the park.

  ‘Please, Milly. Push me to the water’s edge.’ Jane mopped her flushed face with her handkerchief. ‘You can come in as well; that way you can hang on to my chair and then I can go in a bit deeper. Please.’

  ‘I will do no such thing.’

  ‘You are such a spoilsport. It does look inviting, doesn’t it? And I am so hot I think I might faint.’

  ‘Please, Jane, don’t keep on.’ Milly sat on the bench; she too was feeling the heat. Pushing the heavy chair always made her hot, and the sparkling water looked wonderful.

  ‘Come on, Milly. Please.’

  Jane’s pleading got through to Milly. She knew her friend must be very uncomfortable in her chair, and the parasol they always carried hardly kept the sun off her. ‘All right then. But for goodness’ sake don’t let your mother know.’

  Jane was laughing as Milly sat on a bench and discreetly took off her shoes and stockings. Then putting the blanket over her friend’s legs, she did the same for Jane.

  The water lapped gently over their feet, and Milly had to admit it felt wonderful.

  They were laughing and splashing, and after a while Milly said, ‘That’s enough, we have to go back now.’

  She took hold of the wheelchair’s handles, but Jane put her hands on the wheels and stopped her from moving it.

  ‘I don’t want to go.’

  ‘Jane. Let go.’

  ‘No. I told you, I don’t want to go.’

  ‘Please, Jane, stop it. People are looking at you.’

  ‘I don’t care.’

  ‘Well I do.’

  ‘You should do as I ask.’

  ‘Jane, please be reasonable.’ Milly was beginning to panic. ‘Your mother will wonder where we are.’

  ‘I told you, I’m not going home just yet, so let go.’ With that she pushed herself forward. As she did so, Milly slipped and sat down hard in the water, looking on in horror as the chair rolled down the slope and into the deeper water, where it tipped over.

  ‘Jane!’ screamed Milly. She got to her feet and paddled after her, but her long skirt quickly became waterlogged, making it difficult for her to move fast.

  One or two people looked up and came towards the water.

  ‘What happened?’ asked a woman who was standing on the edge.

  ‘Help me. My friend’s under the chair.’ Milly was desperately trying to right the chair, but it was very heavy. She pulled at the blanket, which was weighed down with water, and tried to drag Jane free. Jane was struggling, but Milly couldn’t move her, as her feet were wedged under the chair. Frantically she tried to lift Jane’s head above the water, but the sodden blanket was holding it down. ‘Help me!’ she was screaming. She was filled with horror. She looked helplessly at the people who were watching the scene. ‘Help me!’ she screamed again. ‘For God’s sake someone help me.’

&n
bsp; Milly felt she had been struggling in the water for hours when a man waded in and after a struggle helped her to right the chair.

  ‘Oh my God,’ he said, taking the blanket off Jane’s face. ‘I fink she’s gone.’

  ‘No!’ screamed Milly. ‘She can’t have.’ She began shaking her friend, but there was no response. She stood in the water looking at the beautiful ringlets hanging straight and straggly over Jane’s lovely face. Gently she pushed the hair away and kissed her friend’s wet cheeks. As she held the lifeless body, she could see her friend’s soggy bow bobbing about on the water.

  ‘Miss, where d’yer live? Miss? Miss?’ The man was shaking Milly’s arm.

  Milly knelt down and held Jane close. She rocked her backwards and forwards, chanting, ‘Jane. Talk to me, Jane. Please talk to me.’

  The man tried to pull her away as people began to crowd round them, but she held on.

  ‘I saw yer. What was yer doing pushing her in the water like that? You ought ter have more sense. Silly moo,’ said someone.

  ‘Leave it out, Maud, can’t yer see the poor little cow’s in shock?’

  ‘Better go for the cops,’ said a woman holding on to a pram that contained a screaming baby. ‘Shut up, you,’ she yelled at the pram, rocking it hard back and forth.

  ‘Fink somebody’s gorn for the park keeper,’ said another woman.

  ‘Poor little cow. What was wrong with ’er, love? What was she doing in that chair?’

  All this was going on around Milly, but she didn’t really hear anything; her thoughts were full of her friend. Why had she let her go in the water? It was all her fault for agreeing to it, and now she had killed her. She continued to hold Jane and rock her backwards and forwards as tears ran down her face. People were all around her asking questions, but she wasn’t listening. Her thoughts were concerned only with Jane. She’d loved this girl and now, as she held her close, she knew she had lost her best and only friend.

  Chapter 17

  ‘YOU WICKED GIRL!’ Walton was shaking Milly and screaming at her. ‘I hope they send you to prison.’

  ‘It was an accident,’ sobbed Milly.