Braver With You (Great Love Book 1)

by A. Hart

I began to slowly turn around and begin my walk to God knew where again. Suddenly those two tiny lights from afar came speeding towards me. I backed up a little and covered my eyes with my hand again smiling politely. That was until they got closer and I recognized the large blue truck. It was Cal. I threw my hand down at my side and my smile immediately turned to a face ready for battle. I marched forward ignoring my legs that wanted to sprint into his arms. No! It’s over and that’s that, I told myself. He didn’t want me before and he didn’t want me now. I wasn’t going to lead myself on any longer, hoping for a future that could never exist.

  I needed to move on and heal and he needed to find someone who could give him everything he wanted. The truck swerved onto the side of the road behind me. I heard the door swing open and couldn’t help but look back, almost like my eyes were magnetically drawn to him. I sighed at my lack of self-control. Cal jumped out of his truck, his long strides closing the distance between us. “Emerson!” he yelled, his voice desperate. I swung around, “Calvin!” I yelled back in a condescending tone. His brows furrowed as he continued towards me. I just froze, my arms hanging. I was frozen by how undeniably beautiful he was. I wanted to just wrap my arms around him and forget all about this whole thing. I couldn’t do that, not if he didn’t want me, not if he didn’t love me and not if I was going to be left for dead again. I didn’t think I could come back to life again.

  Cal was now standing only feet in front of me. “What!” I snapped at him, trying not to let my voice crack. “What do you want from me Cal?!” He stood still his hands on his hips, his brows furrowed. “Em…” His head dropped and his voice got rough. “I don’t know what the hell happened back there….I’m an idiot….” I laughed lightly to myself “Yeah this I know but you didn’t answer my question.” He continued to look at me with those big blues eyes, piercing through my soul. “What do you …” He cut me off “Damn it Em?!” He threw his hands up spun around and looked me in the eyes, I stood confused.

  His voice became a little more rough and raw, “I want you! All of you...I always have.” I stood a little in awe and a little pissed off. It was a sweet answer but it wasn’t what I wanted. All of me was screaming to jump into his arms and say it was enough, but it wasn’t…it just wasn’t and it would never be…I sighed...”I’m sorry Cal that’s the wrong answer.” I slowly spun around and began to walk away, trying to suppress the tears that begged to flow from my eyes.

  Suddenly I felt Cal’s warm hand on my arm and a tingle flew up and down my spine. Suddenly I was facing him. “Emerson please...there’s so much more I want to tell you and I think I have the right answer for you but Sam is in the truck…” He looked over his shoulder and suddenly Sam’s arms were waving at me. I smiled lightly and waved, a little embarrassed by my behavior. Cal sighed. “Please I’m begging you to hear me out. I promise I will fix this….” I looked into his eyes and then his lips were on mine. At first I tried to resist by pushing my palms against his firm chest.

  I just couldn’t fight it, I surrendered making my flat palms into fists around his shirt, pulling him into me. I allowed his tongue to dance with mine. I sighed when I pulled away “Fine,” He smiled lightly “Please let me drive you home...I will drop off Sam really quick then we can talk…if you want I can go and sleep on Sam’s couch.” I nodded quickly. “Fine Cal, but don’t think this has changed anything, I’m not going to get played with.” He sighed dropping his hands from mine. “I hate that you think I would ever do that to you.” I winced a little “Well isn’t it?” He shook his head. “Let me take you home.” I nodded again in agreement and we quietly walked back to big blue.

  He opened my door and I shrugged past him as he tried to offer me his hand to get in. Sam laughed lightly and reached his hand out for me. I graciously took it and allowed him to pull me in. I heard Cal sigh as he slammed the door behind me. I adjusted in my seat and turned to Sam “Thanks Samuel.” He laughed “Ouch no one but my mom calls me that…and my wife when I piss her off.” I smiled again. “Sorry, Thanks Sam!”

  Sam laughed and signaled to me with his thumb. “I like this one.” Cal was buckling his seat belt as he gave Sam an evil look. I smiled a little but made sure to face the window so Cal wouldn’t see. As Cal started driving he stared out the windshield. I cleared my throat to break the silence. “If it’s not too much trouble I was wondering if you can just drop me off. We can talk tomorrow.” Cal’s eyes flashed to mine and looked irritated. I didn’t care, I wanted to go home and take a shower. I wanted to put on my sweats, eat the whole carton of ice-cream that was waiting for me in my freezer and have an awesome pity party. “Em…” He sighed and focused back on the road. “I would really like to talk to you tonight. I think it’s important that I do.”

  I bit my lip and fought off the urge to give into him. Truth was it was late. I was tipsy, emotional and I didn’t trust myself around him. I didn’t know what he was going to say but I was almost positive it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. He wasn’t going to devote himself to me and tell me how madly in love he was with me. At best he would say that he really liked me and wanted to spend time with me until he left. He would promise that he would keep in touch while he was gone and I, being completely powerless to him would give in. I would allow myself to fall into his trap at least for the night and wake up tomorrow further damaged and completely pissed at myself.

  I still didn’t understand why he hadn’t kept in touch before and I wasn’t about to take that gamble that he would this time. I shook my head “I know Cal…” clearing my throat, completely aware but grateful of Sam’s presence. “I know but I thought about it and I’m really tired and just want to go to bed…We will talk tomorrow I promise.” He sighed again, repositioning his hands on the steering wheel. “Fine.” He said harshly and then looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes “In person” I smiled lightly trying not to show his effect on me “Of course.”

  We drove for a few more minutes in silence and then pulled up to my duplex. Cal started to get out to open my door, I held out my hand “no please Cal…I can do it.” He gave me an angry look and shook his head lightly. “Fine” I opened my door and hopped out, turning around to face Sam. “Good night Sam and congrats on the great news!” He smiled “Thanks! Night see ya!” I nodded and then when I turned around Cal was there.

  I jumped back and put my hand over my heart. “God Cal! Don’t do that!” He smiled lightly and shrugged his shoulders “Sorry…” Only standing a few feet from me with his hands in his pockets he stared into my eyes. “I have to ask…” I tilted my head a little “Yes?” He sighed “have you listened to your voicemail?” I shook my head “No…” He seemed pleased with my answer as he nodded lightly and placed his hand on my cheek. My skin burned with desire for him to do it again. “You should listen to it Em…Please.” I nodded my head and quietly agreed. “Okay” He quickly kissed me on the cheek before I could react. “Goodnight Babe.” I winced a little at him calling me that word but shook it off and walked towards my door and waved. “Night!”

  As I walked towards my door I pulled out my phone and took a deep breath. I placed it against my ear and pressed play. I unlocked the door with my other hand. I stepped into my door and then stood in awe as I listened to Cal’s voice. A tear ran down my cheek and then I was hit with the biggest surprise as I listened to him say “I love you…I always have”. My heart dropped into my chest and I stood frozen in my doorway. He said it! He said it and he loved me. I felt like the dumbest person alive. He tried to tell me and I shut him out like a fourth grade girl with a crush. I needed to call him. I needed to tell him I loved him too. I needed to fix this. I picked up my phone to call him and began to close the door behind me. Suddenly the door slammed into me and I stumbled backwards.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Calvin

  As soon as I saw her unlock her door I decided that was good enough and sped off. I’m not sure why I didn’t feel the need to watch her safely get in her door. It was very unlike me
but I was preoccupied with my thoughts and I just wanted to go the hell to sleep. Sam opened his mouth like he was going to talk but I didn’t want to hear it. “Not now Sam…please...not now.” I gripped the steering wheel in anger. She wouldn’t even let me explain. I freaked out and I shouldn’t have but I loved her and I knew that.

  I was ready for it all. I wanted to give it all to her. Why is she pushing me away! Does she not love me? Shit. I was so confused by it all. I was so distraught that I drove wildly through the neighborhood. I scanned the cars like normal but I didn’t really pay attention like I usually did. I was too angry and too emotionally wrecked to concentrate on my surroundings. I ignored every natural instinct I had and just drove mindlessly. Does this girl understand what she does to me? I drove in silence for another moment or two.

  Suddenly my heart began racing faster and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. A picture flashed into my mind of a red car. Where did I recognize that car? Son of a bitch! It’s the red car that had been following us for the past week. The picture that flashed in my mind didn’t look like any of the other times I saw the car. No this one was a new image. It was dark in the image and the surroundings were familiar. I just couldn’t put my finger on where it was. As I drove, I took deep breaths and tried to focus. When had I seen it? Where? It flashed again and then my heart sunk into my stomach.

  I realized where and when. I had just seen it around the corner from Emerson’s duplex. I didn’t know for sure something was happening but my gut told me something was wrong. A sharp pain rushed to my stomach telling me it wasn’t just a coincidence. I quickly flipped the truck around and hit the gas. Sam grabbed the handle on the truck “Shit Cal! What the hell?!” I shook my head “Sam something’s not right.” He sat up straighter “What the fuck are you talking about? How do you know?” I pushed harder on the gas pedal as the feeling in my stomach grew hotter. “I just do Sam! I’m trained for this gut instinct shit!” I explained to him about the car. I told him how it had been following us but had stopped for the last few days so I had stopped worrying about it and how I just saw it on the street.

  As I swerved in front of Emerson’s place I told him to stay a little back and call 911 as soon as he saw something was wrong. He nodded. We both jumped out and began running to her front door. My heart turned in my chest as I saw her purse and all its contents thrown on the floor, propping her door partially open. No no no! I pulled the knife out of my sheath and took a deep breath. I reminded myself that being calm was beneficial to helping Emerson in whatever situation I found her in. She needed me to have all my thoughts under control. Then my stomach grew hotter and my face turned red as I heard a scream, her scream.

  I couldn’t remain calm. The scream squeezed at my heart. I unraveled and said fuck it to all reason. I busted through the door and rushed to where I heard the noise. The sounds of screaming, grunting and wrestling came from the kitchen. That’s where I found her against the wall, her clothes torn and a man with a knife to her throat. He had pinned her arms, one holding a bloody knife. Her eyes flashed to mine in panic reminding me of the night Sid attacked her. My heart pushed against my chest and I could feel my hot blood running through my stomach.

  I ran full force into the man tackling him to the ground. I pinned him down and stared down at the man who dared to try and take my world from me. I knew by the car that it was the man who had been following us and watching us. My heart ached as I processed those beady eyes. Sid. The boy I grew up with. The boy I skipped rocks with at the lake, learned how to swim with, rode my first horse with and drank my first beer with. A new pain filled my body as shame and anger shook through me. I should have known. He attacked her that night at the bar. He was an obsessive and destructive person with no care for human life other than his own. I should have known! He began trying to get me off of him and then punched me in my side. I screamed in anger as I let my fists rain on his face.

  Sam came running in frantically “I called 911, they are on their way….Holy shit…What the….” He looked around the room with horror in his eyes. I looked down at Sid who was now close to being unconscious, I took a deep breath, pulling myself in. I looked over at Emerson who now sat on the floor with her back pressed to the wall. She was still holding the bloody knife. I looked around to find another weapon. There was a hand gun thrown on the floor by the couch. I picked it up and handed it to Sam. “Put this somewhere safe for now, the cops will need it.” He nodded. I turned back to Emerson. I eyed her up and down and noticed she wasn’t bleeding. I then took another look at Sid and saw dark red oozing from his right side. I reached up grabbing the closest towel on the counter and pressed it tightly on the cut. “Hold it tight you piece of shit.”

  Sid’s glossed over eyes glared at me as his hand pressed into the towel. He moaned in pain. I grunted in frustration, “I should let you bleed like a stuck pig.” Sid moaned again as he grunted out quietly “Fuck you man.” He didn’t deserve me to hand him a towel but I wasn’t in charge of his judgment and I couldn’t let him bleed out on Emerson’s floor. I grabbed the knife and moved it along with all the others that were in the kitchen onto the coffee table across the room. I took a deep breath, stopping myself from finishing off Sid and turned towards Emerson. She still sat on the floor pressed against the wall and was clearly in shock. I knelt in front of her and placed my hands on both sides of her cheeks gently. “Em? Sweetheart?” Her eyes flickered up to mine and then down to the bloody knife she still held. “Em Baby?”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Emerson

  10 minutes earlier

  Everything happened so quickly. One second I was in my doorway and the next I was being pushed towards my couch. I was tipsy, emotionally distraught and now caught completely off guard. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t focus. I went into an automatic survival mode as I began swinging my arms towards whatever force pushed me harshly back deeper into my house and away from any neighbors. I felt something cold and hard pushed into my stomach. I swallowed hard at the realization that it was a gun.

  My eyes were unfocused and it was dark in my house. I could tell it was a man from the deep grunts that were made as I swung at him and the roughness of his body and hands. His hands were small, rough and cold and yet…familiar… My eyes widened and my heart began to speed up as it all registered in my mind. I knew these hands because I had felt them in a familiar way. I slowed my breathing and focused in on Sid’s shadowed face. I moved out of the way of his grasp and swerved around my coffee table. “Gggg get ofer…you…fuckling ushless bitch.” He said as he pointed the gun lopsided at me. I could tell from the sluggish way his body moved and his slurred words that he was drunk, that was good or terribly bad. A drunk man pointing a gun at me…great. At least he would be slower and easier to throw off balance. I immediately regretted sending Cal off and knew I was on my own. The worst part was that it was all my fault. My eyes quickly rushed to my phone laying open on the floor across the room and I felt cold as I realized that there was no way to get to it.

  I continued to back away from him as he moved towards me. “I’ll shosh yous” He blurted out. I ignored him and continued to think. I could rush him, he was a lot stronger than me but maybe since he was so drunk I could overtake him. There was no getting past him, he blocked the entire exit. I could run into my bathroom and lock the door but then what? I had no phone. I would sit in there and wait for him to knock down the door? No that was a waste of time. I wanted to get this hell over with as quickly as possible. Suddenly the only option registered in my mind. I smiled inside at the sight of my kitchen knives on my counter. If I moved quickly I could catch him off guard, I could knock the gun out of his hands. He was barely able to hold it as it was. It would make our playing field even and it really was my only hope.

  I moved in one swift movement grabbing the closest knife. Sid reacted quickly, quicker than I expected his sluggish body to. It happened in the matter of seconds but everything felt as though it was in slow moti
on. He rushed towards me, knocking me off balance. I pushed the knife through the air in his direction praying to God that it would hit him somewhere. He yelled loudly and then in one movement pinned my hands against the wall. His gun hit the wood floors and slid a good ten feet. Good, one part down. I shook violently back and forth trying to throw him off but he was steady. He stared into my soul with his black beady eyes just as he had the other night.

  He pulled out his switch blade from his waist and held it to my neck. Damn it. I flinched at the feeling of the cold blade on my skin. I took a deep breath and felt the air going in and out, realizing that this might be the end. This might be the last breath I take. I decided right then that I wouldn’t go down without fight. If I died it would be on my terms and it wouldn’t be at my lack of trying to live. His knife trailed down my chest and I yanked my arms back and forth, grunting and screaming, trying everything to loosen his grip. “Your neighs gone.” Huh? Oh God. That’s when I remembered that my neighbors were gone for the weekend. “No one hears you bitch.” Well that was clear. Just to piss him off, I screamed again. His grip tightened as he tried to get the knife closer to my throat with his right hand. Every time I jolted my body the knife inched backwards away from me and then swiftly back towards me. It was like every time I took one step forward I took two back.

  I could see that the knife was making its way for my throat again and eventually his progress would win. I started thinking of what more I could do to stop my awful death when suddenly I was free. The pressure of his grasp no longer held me captive. I took a long deep breath and tried to look for him. I desperately searched the room for him but all I saw was black. It tried to move my feet forward to get out of there, to get away from him. My feet wouldn’t move. I suddenly felt my body sink. I wasn’t sure if I had fallen or if I had died? I couldn’t see and I couldn’t move and as far as I could tell I couldn’t hear. Where the hell did Sid go? Why did he let go of me? I wasn’t sure that I liked my sudden freedom. I wanted to fight, I wanted to live.