Braver With You (Great Love Book 1)

by A. Hart

  A low thumping sound began in my temple and a fog of gray began to fill my sight. I blinked rapidly trying to clear my vision. Slowly that thumping became a low hum and then that low hum became a foggy whisper “Em Baby?” My heart began to race at the sound of Cal’s voice. He is here, he came! Cal is here. Oh God how I love this man. I had never been happier to hear anyone’s voice than I was to hear his right then. I tried to move my mouth to tell him I was there, that I was okay but my lips were stuck together. My mouth was dry and my hands felt wet. I continued to focus on blinking, trying to clear my vision so I could see his face. Oh please Cal, please be there. Finally I saw his beautiful blue eyes staring into my soul. My voice was low and raspy. “Cal…?” His posture relaxed and he sighed “Oh baby, God you scared me. You’re okay, everything’s okay”

  Cal’s warm hands cupped my cheeks and I melted into them. I wanted to tell him I loved him, that I heard his voice mail. I wanted to jump into his arms and hold him close. My body wouldn’t move. All I could manage to do was respond with a quiet “okay.” I wanted to ask what happened and where Sid was but I couldn’t get any words out. I just stared at Cal as he looked at me concerned. Slowly my eye sight began to come in and I looked around the kitchen. I saw a man lying on the floor with blood dripping from his arm. I realized that it was Sid and my heart sped up knowing that he was so close. I no longer felt safe. Sam stood not far away on the phone talking to someone.

  My eyes flashed back to the other side of the kitchen where I saw Sid with an object in his hand. I blinked trying to concentrate on what it could possibly be. A phone? An I-pod? A fork? Oh God. My stomach dropped as I realized that it was the same switch blade he had attacked me with, it had fallen under the cabinets and Cal probably didn’t see it. I tried to yell, I tried to scream. I tried to warn Cal. I widened my eyes hoping that Cal would turn around. Finally as Cal’s body was violently pulled from me a scream left my lungs and filled the air. I was quickly woken up from whatever strange day dream I had been stuck in for the last however long. I felt cold with fear at the sight of Sid on top of Cal. Fear that I would lose him, the only person who truly understood me.

  My fear became resolved when I turned to see Cal already on top of Sid holding him down. Just as I began to sigh with relief, I saw it. Rich red goo slowly pooling on the side of Cal’s button down shirt. My heart dropped into my stomach at the realization that it was blood that dripped from his side. “Cal!” I screamed, running quickly to his side. In an instant Sam jumped on top of Sid and then with one punch to the jaw, knocked him unconscious.

  Cal threw the small knife across the room “You fucking prick” He yelled as he lightly kicked Sid’s crippled body. I grabbed a towel and ran as quickly as my battered body would allow me to. Cal fell to the ground and held his hand out towards me as a wince grew on his tired face. I handed him the towel as he ripped his shirt with the other hand looking completely unnerved. He grabbed the towel and shoved it into the cut with vigorous force. At that moment the Cops came running in with their guns drawn.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Calvin

  After the Cops arrested Sid and escorted him to the hospital I finally felt like I could check out. I had to make sure that he was far away from Emerson and that he wouldn’t be able to get to her. I had to make sure she was safe before I could let myself feel the pain. I had been trained at pushing through the pain and keeping my focus until it was safe to let my guard down. It was a tool I had used many times before. I used my natural adrenaline and fight or flight instinct to my advantage. As soon as Sid was out of sight I did exactly what I had been holding myself back from doing since he stabbed me. It had to happen eventually, I couldn’t keep my body’s natural course from happening,

  I could only postpone it temporarily. I had to let myself feel it all. I had to let my body do whatever it needed to for it to heal. And I had to heal so I could get back to Emerson. The sooner I did this the sooner I could be with her. I hadn’t been this badly injured in years and I could feel my body weakening faster than I had ever before. I looked up from the paramedics as they loaded me on the gurney. That’s when I saw her big brown eyes and I must have smiled because she smiled lightly back. I could see the worry in her eyes but I could also see that beautiful light that she held within her. The light that carried me through my darkest days and I knew in that moment that it would carry me now. Everything after that was a blur. I knew that I was put in the ambulance because I heard a loud shutting of a heavy door, a low humming of an engine, the sweet breathing of Emerson and the faint roar of the siren. I’m pretty sure that the paramedics were guys I knew because I vaguely remember my old pals Fred and Tom talking to me. I have no idea what they said or when they said it, I just remember seeing their faces and hearing a dull humming sound.

  Emerson

  I sat next to Cal’s bed just as I had sat for the past twelve hours, waiting for him to open those gorgeous blue eyes of his. I lightly brushed his hand willing him to wake up. Sid had stabbed him and although he punctured the abdominal wall, he didn’t hit any organs. Thank God. Cal had gone into surgery to repair the abdominal wall as soon as he arrived at the hospital. He had lost a lot of blood. The doctor said the surgery went as perfect as it could have gone and that Cal should have a full recovery. My heart was filled with joy to know that he would be okay. I felt like I could almost breathe again, almost. There was only one problem, he hadn’t woken up. That was all it took to keep that full breath from filling my lungs.

  Even though I knew this was a minor surgery and Cal’s vitals looked great, I hated that he wasn’t awake yet. I wanted to see his eyes looking at me, to feel his hand squeezing mine and to hear him tell me that he was okay. I prayed to God that he would be. I had been so preoccupied with getting Cal taken care of and promising God that I would be a better person if he could just heal Cal, that I hadn’t realized that I was in the exact hospital I had been in when I had had cancer. The hospital that despite staying in touch with my nurse Darcy, I had avoided like the plague. I had purposely avoided it during clinical rotations for school and now here I was. He had a way of doing that, helping me push through my fears. He had a way of making me braver than I thought I ever could be.

  I didn’t mind being the one helping people in the hospital however I didn’t care for being the patient in the hospital. That brought back too much insecurity and anxiety about my weak body and its inability to do its job. That’s why I loved nursing because I was able to be the person to calm another anxious sick peoples nerves. I could do what Darcy and Cal did for me in the hospital. And if I was being honest with myself, being in other hospitals didn’t bother me too much because I had no history with them. But this place? This place and I had years of painful, ugly, depressing history. And then there were the chapters with Cal that were the exact opposite and the exact same all at once. Memories of sweet kisses, passionate conversations, playful laughs, and then the most painful memory I had of this dungeon, the night he left. It hit me that I had finally came here. I had finally put that behind me and got on with it because of him, because he loved me. And that was all that mattered.

  The pain felt dull now that I knew that he was mine and I was his. Well, at least I hoped that was still a possibility. That was the main reason why I desperately wanted him to open his eyes. I was deathly afraid that while he was asleep for the last twelve hours that he changed his mind or came to his senses and realized that he could do so much better than me. I didn’t know what could happen in twelve hours of sleep but I did know that these thoughts were driving me insane. He just needed to wake the heck up already.

  Calvin

  I opened my eyes slowly, blinking as little black and gray dots filled the room. I began to hear a low vibrating sound, followed by a high pitched beeping sound. I looked around the room to realize I was in the hospital. Then I remembered why I was here. That piece of shit Sid had stabbed me? Really? I should have let him bleed out like I wanted to. Just then I felt a
warm twitch by my right hand. I slowly looked down and saw brown hair sprawled out against the bed. Emerson laid with her hand lightly touching mine. I watched her sleep for a moment, mouth peacefully parted open. I smiled to myself as I gently touched her cheek. Her face instinctively moved against the pressure of my hand and then her eyes shot up to me.

  I laughed to myself as she adjusted herself closer to me “Cal, Oh my God Cal!” She crushed her lips on mine and although I was glad that was the response I received, the pressure shot a pain to my abdomen. I winced in response. Her hand covered her mouth and she winced “Oh no...I’m sorry!” I laughed even though the pressure made my stomach soar. “I’m not.” She smiled sweetly “I so sorry, I’m just so glad to see you awake! And hear your voice.”

  Just then my mom peaked her head in slowly and then turned around quickly “He’s awake! “. “Shit” I mumbled to myself as my mom and my entire family came piling in behind her. Everyone gave me a kiss, except for Sam who gave me a light hug. After what seemed like forever but was actually probably only a couple minutes, the doctor came in and asked everyone except for my parents to leave.

  As Emerson began to get up and leave I squeezed her hand and pulled her down. She furrowed her eyebrow at me and tilted her head. I pulled her a little closer and she leaned in as I whispered. “I almost lost you not more than 14 hours ago. You’re not leaving my sight.” Then I looked up at the doctor. “She’s family and she stays.” The doctor paused for a moment, my parents smiled at each other. The Doctor opened his mouth like he was going to protest then he shook his head and said “Okay then let’s talk about recovery.”

  The Doctor talked for a while about my surgery and what recovery would look like. It included a week of bed rest and then six weeks or more of physical therapy. I talked to him about my career and asked him what that would mean. Pretty much he would talk to my commander and leave it to his discretion what my work load would be adjusted to. I smiled because I knew that meant physical therapy SF style, on the job and in the gym.

  By the end of the day my mind was numb with information and exhausted from all of the questions, answers and information that was being thrown at me. After the Doctor told me I would be discharged in the morning, the police came in. This is the information that really exhausted me. I knew Sid was a weirdo and I knew he was bad news but I was way off. He was completely, totally and absolutely fucking insane. That is a gentle description. The cops only spoke to Emerson and myself and I was grateful. I knew my father would be disgusted and enraged. My mother would be freaked out beyond belief, and then she would do a complete mental analysis on the entire thing. Being a shrink she would then try to get in my head and I hated it when she did that.

  The Cops told us that after arresting Sid they searched his home and various storage units with a warrant that they had been trying to get for years. They finally had it in the works since his first attack on Emerson. The incident speed up the process dramatically. They had found an obscene amount of various drugs, weapons and also a lead to a prostitution ring in Sacramento. That however wasn’t the most disturbing thing. The most disturbing thing was in the garage of his house. It was covered with pictures of Emerson all the way back before they had even met. They also found disturbing journals about how he was going to teach her a lesson, how she was his and how if he couldn’t have her than no one would. I know this because they showed us an entry to ask Emerson a question about the context. They said that in the garage were recent pictures of me and her in the last couple weeks.

  My whole body felt numb when the police were telling us these disturbing facts. I squeezed Emerson’s hand so tightly the entire time that I couldn’t tell if she was squeezing back or not. They told us that Sid’s alcohol level was way over the limit and they found empty flasks in his car. He would be going away for various counts and would hopefully go away for a long time. Although that was great and all, I was worried about when he eventually got out. Because I knew he would get out.

  He knew everything about us, where to find us, who our families were. Everything. I knew from the look on Emerson’s face that she was just as worried as I was. I tried to hide my nervousness behind a smile. She faintly smiled back simply recognizing my gesture. As soon as the police left my room I decided I could no longer hold in what I had made the mistake of holding in before. “Em…” Her blushed face turned to me, eyes wide and eye brows furrowed …”Cal?”. I inhaled a deep breath and exhaled, now or never. I whispered…”I love you…I have absolutely always loved you…”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Emerson

  Well. There it was. Very simply and beautifully put. It was lingering in the air around me like a strong perfume. He had finally said it and I can’t really explain the strange mixture of emotions going off in my body. If I had to try and put it in words I would explain it as fireworks, sprinklers and cannon balls all firing off in my stomach, followed by a herd of buffalo trampling through my body and then a group of butterflies fluttering up into my throat.

  A smile pulled at my lips and a tear leaked from my eyes. Cal smiled back at me and lightly kissed the tear off my cheek. “I’m hoping this is a good response.” I wanted to respond but my voice was caught somewhere between the buffalo and the butterflies. I lightly nodded my head and kissed his mouth softly. An electric shock pulsed from my lips down to my heart and I literally felt like I was melting. I leaned back and looked into his eyes. I cleared my throat and smiled. “I love you so much Cal.” His grin was ear to ear as he pulled me down for a kiss.

  I stayed with Cal in the hospital. It was an odd experience for both of us since the roles were reversed from what we were used to. I was laying in his hospital bed with him and was distracting him from the poke and prods. Cal used to do that for me. I remember thinking how much I appreciated the gesture. I still didn’t know exactly what Cal and I were. That was bothering me a little bit but it could wait. I didn’t think this was the appropriate place or time to ask. I couldn’t help but think that if this was all we ever were…the person who lays in your hospital bed with you when you’re ill and talks you through the pain, the person whom you love, that would be a beautiful thing. However, I knew that this wasn’t all we would be. We would be that and so much more. At least I prayed that was true. It didn’t matter at this point because I held onto the thought. The thought that if this indeed was as good as it ever got with Cal, as long as I could be this for him and him for me…it would be the most beautiful love story of all time .

  When Cal was discharged in the morning I began to drive him to his parents’ house but he shook his head lightly while holding his stomach. “No no…I want to go home!” I almost crashed his truck. To be honest, I had no business trying to maneuver it through the rain but I wasn’t going to show my incompetence, let alone my nerves about possibly killing us both. I looked at him for a long second with furrowed brows and then looked back at the road hoping that a deer or street sign didn’t jump in front of the truck. “If that’s still alright with you that is.” He said with a smirk on his face. “Um…well…I’m confused I guess….You want to move in with me?” He smiled “Well yeah. I was hoping I could.” I laughed lightly. “I was not expecting that hmmm.” I looked him up and down. “Fine but there are going to have to be some contingencies.”

  Cal laughed while putting pressure on his stomach. “Alright let’s hear em’.” I sighed “Well okay so first off I want you to walk around the house shirtless at least 90% of the time, I also get 80% custody of the blanket at all times along with any food you bring into the house that looks appetizing, no muddy boots on the floor and I get to have my way with you anytime I want.” He sarcastically sighed as if I had just given dyer news. “You drive a hard bargain Miss Williams … but that isn’t going to be suitable for me.” I raised my eyebrows at him, looking away from the road for a split second. “Oh really?”

  Cal nodded matter of fact-ly, “I will not give you a definitive percentage of my half nakedness, ho
wever I will be willing to commit to being shirtless before and after I shower, before and after sex, when it is hot at night and maybe the occasional search for a clean t-shirt. You can have 50% of the blankets. I promise to buy two of everything delicious because if you don’t like it I will eat it and please have your way with me anytime you want.” He winked at me. “I’d like to negotiate” I said. He laughed at me with a soft raspy roar. “The Army doesn’t negotiate with terrorists’ mam. That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.” I paused for a moment and tilted my head “Hmmm…” I hummed. He cut me off. “Before you make a huge mistake you should know it also includes 50% custody of the cutest puppy in the world.” My eyes went wide and couldn’t resist the smile that pulled at my lips.

  Calvin

  I laid in bed with my hands behind my head and the blanket covering my half naked body. I looked up at the ceiling fan just watching it spin around and around. My mind flashed to visions of helicopter propellers. I puffed out my cheeks and blew out a large breath of air. I rubbed one hand over my face. I knew that this little vacation in heaven on earth would end soon. It had been four days since I left the hospital. I was still recovering and Emerson insisted on taking care of me. I smiled to myself at how adorable she was.

  I loved watching her fumble around with a big bulky tray, trying to balance bowls of soup and cups of sprite. I explained to her that I wasn’t ill, she laughed and said “Well this stuff works for any kind of healing.” I just nodded and let it go. I could do chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, I was easy. Plus it was much better than anything I would be eating in the field. It was extremely convenient that Emerson had a couple days off of school this week after her mid-terms last week. I was enjoying having my nurse all to myself.