by A. Hart
We ate dinner and laughed as we told stories about Max. It felt good to remember him, to laugh, almost like he was laughing with us. Megan had to excuse herself a few times to wipe her face. Each time Travis’ eyes followed her with fire in his eyes. “How is the baby?” I asked more for Max’s sake if he was indeed with me, which I had a feeling he was somehow. Travis put his fork down and smiled lightly. “I’ve been with her in NC since we found out about Charlie, I went with her last week to check on the little guy…” Caleb and I looked up at him with arched brows. “Oh no we…she doesn’t know the sex yet…anyway the baby is healthy and Doc said now that she is in her second trimester the risks are very low.” I nodded and cringed inside at the thought of her delivering the baby without Max.
“I’ve been trying to get her to eat… I promised Charlie…” He said his voice going rough. “Yeah I noticed she only took a couple bites” I said as I took a long pull at my beer. Caleb stood up picking up Caleb Jr. off the ground. “Alright lil’ man lets go pick up Mama.” The little boy smiled and clapped his hands “Mama!” Caleb turned to me. “Rachel’s at work.” He announced. I nodded. “Tell her I say hi.” Caleb nodded back and headed towards the door. I chuckled a little at how cute Caleb Jr. was. I hoped to have a little booger like him one-day, hell the sooner the better. Emerson may be convinced she was in infertile but I wouldn’t mind trying, a lot. And then if that didn’t work we could adopt. I smiled to myself at the thought of a house full of happy noisy kids. I always wanted a big family. When I got home to Emerson I would start our family by making us official.
I smiled inside at the thought of Emerson in a white dress…okay, maybe cream colored. I smiled outwardly this time unable to hold it in. Megan walked in “Oh boy you got it bad…” She said as she smiled and shook her head. “What?” I asked looking up at her. Caleb gave Megan a hug and said good bye, then shook Travis’ hand. Megan gave Caleb Jr. a kiss and said “Bye little man”, as she ruffled his blonde hair. I lifted my hand and reached to shake Caleb’s. “See ya’ tomorrow.” At the mention of tomorrow everyone grew quiet and then Caleb nodded his head again and headed out the door. None of us seemed to be looking forward to the memorial service and burial tomorrow. I shook my head reminding myself to keep it together.
Megan broke my concentration “What’s her name again…? Emily?” She began to pick up the plates. Travis stood and grabbed them from her hand and then with the other pulled out the chair. In a commanding tone he said “Sit.” She rolled her eyes “I’m pregnant not freaking cripple ya’ know.” Travis ignored her and started doing the dishes. I took a pull of my beer. “Uh Emerson.” I smiled. “Oh yes Miss Emerson. Charles told me about her…” Her eyes shot down to her hands where she played with her wedding ring. “She sounds perfect for you.” I laughed lightly “Yeah she is.” She smiled “I’m glad Smith… So I’m guessing you’re moving back here and not staying in NC with us losers?” at the sound of him being called a loser, Travis shouted from the kitchen “I heard that!” I laughed and shook my head “No, unfortunately I will be leaving you losers, well I guess you’ll be leaving me, I’ll be staying in Cali.” I said gesturing to her and Travis with my beer.
She smiled and nodded “Well good…Travis says he won’t move back here unless I come with him. Something about his promise…” She took a deep breath. “I just don’t know if I can face being here…in his hometown… surrounded by his family every day…Not yet at least…This…” She gestured around her. “Is really hard.” I nodded. “But it’s nice to know that when we do move back here you’ll only be like 30 minutes?” I smiled softly and nodded my head. “Then I can meet this girl!” She said in response. I looked behind her at Travis who looked occupied cleaning the kitchen. “I think you’d really love her. You are always welcome to visit and I plan on making it back there to NC to check on you and baby Max. I promised…” She cut me off and rolled her eyes “Ugh Charles. Seems he had a lot of people promise him things…Sounds like my…” She cleared her throat. “Husband” I played with the label on my beer bottle and nodded my head. “Yeah well, he loved you alot…I think he would’ve done anything for you.” She nodded as her eyes welled up.
Travis walked up handing her a giant glass of water. “Drink.” He said “My Lord Travis! Yes I will drink it.” He looked between us noticing it was an emotional moment and then said “I’m going to go take a shower. Just holler...” She cut him off rolling her eyes again and throwing her hands in the air “Yes if I need anything... I get it Travis.” She said roughly I chuckled to myself. She turned back to me and pointed at me “Don’t.” I pursed my lips together. “I’m not.” “You have no idea what this is like, everyone is treating me like I’m freaking dying… I mean it feels like it sometimes lately I guess…but not because of the pregnancy” She looked up at me her face a little twisted in sadness.
I took a deep breath “Hey Meg…I…you deserve to know…” She nodded her head with wet eyes “I want to know.” She said. “I mean I know the basics… and I know he is being rewarded a purple heart…” I put my hand on hers “and a medal of Honor.” She nodded. “He saved my life Meg… I am so sorry, it should be him and you here visiting Emerson…” She tilted her head “Why would we need to…” Her voice trailed off as I placed the letter in front of her. “Because you would need to give her my letter. Max and I gave each other letters and we promised we would do this in person and that we would watch after each other’s families…indefinitely.” She looked at the letter in front of her like it she was seeing a ghost and I guess in some ways she was. She placed her hand on it and mouthed “Thank you.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m serious Meg, I know I will be living on the other side of the country but you need anything, a place to stay, money, your car fixed, food, someone to talk to …anything. Call me…and I’ll be checking in weekly.”
Megan laughed “Holy crap Smith…Come on I’ll be fine. Plus Travis will be with me.” Yeah that’s what I am worried about I thought to myself. “Fine once every other week but still…you need anything…you or baby Max…you…” She sighed “Call…Yes I will.” I nodded satisfied with the answer for now. My jaw practically hit the floor as I watched Travis walk out the bathroom with a towel around his waist and down the hall to the office. What was he thinking?! Megan looked back to him and then turned around and looked at me, rolling her eyes. I laughed. “Interesting.” Her face twitched in to a slight smile “Another Beer?” I nodded “Tonight. Yes.” She laughed. It was good to hear her laugh.
I laid on the extremely uncomfortable couch with a lump in my back “much better than yours Max” I said low to myself. I laughed inside. My heart ached with the need to tell Max in person. To help offset the pain I pulled out my phone and texted Emerson back. I called her this morning before I went to Max’s aunt and told her what I was doing the next couple days. Well, I left out the part that I was only thirty minutes from her, which was killing me by the way. She thought I was in North Carolina visiting Megan. I told her that I would be home in three weeks due to briefings and ETS (aka getting the fuck out) protocol. That would put me home well past the New Year. Instead I was technically already home, since I was in California but I would be there in Auburn in 3 days, Christmas Eve. I smiled to myself, pleased with the surprise I had in store for little Miss Emerson.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Emerson
December 24th 2012
I stood in front of my mirror staring at myself. I tilted my head left and right, trying to figure out what looked strange about this outfit. Oh yes that’s right I look like I’m going clubbing. I was wearing a tight burgundy suede dress that went just above my knees and barely covered my cleavage. It dipped low in the back but my back, cleavage and arms were covered in black lace. I puffed out my cheeks and sighed.
I looked…nice but way inappropriate to be going to Cal’s family Christmas Eve party. Sarah flew through the bathroom door which slammed into my side. “Ow what the…” She turned and looked at
me. “Will you stop it, you look great.” I shook my head “Sarah I.Can.not.wear.this.” Her face went stern, “Yes. You. Can!” I threw my hands up “You are impossible, it’s a family function and I promise you I am going to be way over dressed. And I don’t feel comfortable looking this…uh…” I winced “Hot?” Sarah finished my thought. “Yes. Not without Cal here.” She laughed “Oh get over yourself you look good but you’re not fucking Madonna.” I furrowed my brow “Uh well thanks friend.” She laughed. “Let’s go, you look great and I heard the whole fire department will be there… Have you seen the newbies?” I sighed “You really are ridiculous.”
I looked around my house and whistled at Copper to come. “Come on baby you can hang out with Silver.” Copper wagged his tail quickly at the mention of his old pal’s name. I set the alarm. Before I closed the door and locked it I looked around my duplex and turned back to Sarah. “Did you clean my apartment?” She threw her head back “Um…wow….like your way vain… I like picked up two things.” I looked around one more time noticing that it was spotless and shook my head. I had no idea what she was up to but she wasn’t good at hiding it. I locked the door and we headed for Cal’s parents.
We pulled up to the Smiths house and I jumped out of Cal’s truck. I was grateful to be out of Sarah’s air space. She insisted we take Cal’s truck, something about Jenny telling her that Sam wanted to use it. I don’t know, I just wanted her to be quiet! She had been talking my damn ear off for the entire ride, what about, I had no idea. I tuned her out once she started listing off her favorite celebrity couples. Copper jumped out of the back seat and ran straight for the garage where Silver was. I let him in through the side door and then reached into my clutch to give them both a treat. “Be good boys…I may come hide out in here with you later.” I adjusted my dress and shook my head. I should have just worn the shirt and pants I was going to wear. I walked down the rocky path to the back porch.
I looked up to see everyone standing around talking and no one, no one, dressed like me. I am going to kill you Sarah. I glared as I caught her eyes and mouthed “You’re Dead”, she rolled her eyes and then continued to throw herself at one of the “newbies” she referred to earlier. I walked through the crowd saying hello to everyone as I passed, feeling the stares burn through my dress. Ethel saw me and stood to greet me with a wide smile “Oh Emerson you look breath taking.” I forced a smile. “Thanks.” She rolled her eyes “Oh hush up child you’re gorgeous and young…only once.” She lifted her eyes to me and I smiled this time. “Ethel you kill me come on I need a drink.” She laughed “That’s my girl.”
Calvin
“Jenny seriously you’re lucky you’re pregnant or I’d punch you.” I growled through my teeth. “She looked up at me with a needle in her mouth. “ You might not want to threaten the pregnant lady, whose hormones are surging through her and currently has a needle very close to your crotch.” I sighed “Sorry sis, it’s just that this suit is fucking hot and I’m tired and hungry and …” She looked up again “Nervous…” I laughed “Yeah I guess so.” She stopped for a second and stood so her eyes met mine, placing her hands on my shoulders. “Cal she loves you, you love her, you have literally gone to hell and back, she doesn’t have an RPG…I think that you’ll live….just breathe.” I sighed loudly “Yeah.” She bent down to continue hemming the large Santa Suit. “Pretty wise for a twerp…Ow.” She smiled “Oops.” I shook my head “Mmmhmm.”
My mind flashed to Max and I wished so badly that I could call him for a pep talk. The ache in my chest swarmed through me and I took a deep breath. God I miss you Max. I needed him to pump me up but I guess I would have to settle for my sisters encouraging words.
Emerson
I stood in front of the large Christmas tree staring at the lights flicker. I sipped on my cocktail as a group of kids whizzed by me laughing. I smiled and shook the spilt alcohol off of my hand. I turned to see Mrs. Smith standing in front of the fire place with a microphone. “Family and Friends, thank you so much for coming tonight to celebrate Christmas Eve with us. I would like to ask that as we enjoy this amazing evening with family and friends we remember those who are not here with us tonight and dedicate a moment to our men and woman that defend our country.” She paused as a couple people shouted “Hell yeah” and “God bless our troops”. She smiled and then continued. “If I could please have all the children line up to see Santa over by the Christmas tree. He will be out any moment. Parents refreshments and cake are in the kitchen.” Sarah walked up to me. “First in line for Santa huh?” She asked with a wide smile on her face.
“Huh?” I asked looking around. Oh crap. “Umm sorry guys I’ll just go get another drink.” The little girl behind me looked up at me “You’re pretty, you go first.” I looked down at her “aw thanks sweetie but no thank you.” She smiled sweetly and then said “I wasn’t asking you” before she pushed me “Ouch.” I said as I rubbed my leg. Sarah laughed looking between the girl and me as I glared at the little brat. “You better do as she says Em.” I handed Sarah my drink and clenched my jaw “Fine.” The little girl pushed me again “Hurry up lady.” I turned back and furrowed my brows, throwing my hand up at her “I said fine!”
I shook my head. Seriously, first I am the girl who wore the inappropriate dress, then I yell at a little girl and now I am the only adult to sit on Santa’s lap. Cal is going to get a kick out of this. Santa sat in a large chair with a pile of gifts next to him on the ground. I stood in front of him as he patted his lap. I tucked my dress under my butt with one hand, shaking my head at how terrible of an idea this was “Well this is awkward.” I said as I sat. I felt a jiggle underneath me and heard a faint chuckle.
I tried not to look at Santa as he said in a very deep distorted voice “Ho Ho Ho Emerson Merry Christmas.” I furrowed my brows “How do you know my…” He cut me off with an attempted kiss, I turned my face, making his kiss land on my ear and stiffened. The kiss sent butterflies to my stomach, which was odd. I looked around to see everyone holding Cameras. Sarah and Jenny were practically crying with smiles on their faces. I turned back to Santa “What the…” My voice caught in my throat as I looked into familiar Blue eyes.
Santa had pulled down the beard and Cal smiled up at me. “Can I kiss you now?” My hand flew to my mouth and tears rolled down my face. I turned and hugged him around his thick neck. He whispered into my ear “I like the dress beautiful.” I snorted inwardly. Aww very sly Sarah. He kissed me slow and passionate and then pulled back. People were clapping and hollering as he stood me up. With his hands on mine he walked me back a step. I tilted my head in confusion and then the light bulb went off as he got on one knee and held out a little black box. The room went quiet and all I could here was Cal’s deep voice “Emerson Williams, I am completely and totally in love with you. You are the best part of me and you make me braver than I could ever hope to be. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” Tears rushed my eyes as I nodded my head and choked out a “Yes!” Cal placed the ring on my finger. As he stood and kissed me, the entire room filled with clapping again.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tight, “I can’t believe you are here.” He kissed my forehead. “I will never leave you again Emerson, you’re stuck with me.” I smiled up at him “I like the sound of that.” He kissed me again. The “real” Santa had come out so the antsy children could tell him what they wanted for Christmas. Which was fine because I had already gotten my Christmas wish. Cal patted my arm “Babe I’ll be right back. I got to get out of this thing.” I nodded my head smiling. Sarah and Jenny both came over and hugged me and then one at a time the entire room congratulated us and hugged us. I smiled to myself. Calvin Smith was the most amazing man I had ever known and now there was no more guessing and no more worrying. He had saved me the day he walked into that hospital and completely changed me. He made me braver.
Epilogue
Emerson
About three years later
I stood a
t the sink washing the dishes from the large breakfast Cal had made that morning. I looked out of the window of my beautiful dream home and down at the stables where our horses Macey and Apache ate their breakfast. I smiled to myself at how everything worked out so perfectly. Not only did Cal and I get married on the very hill that his granddad proposed to Ethel but Cal bought the land and built my dream home right on that very hill. Cal, Sam and their dads did it all themselves. Even Max’s childhood friend Travis had come out and helped for a week while I got to know Megan and her baby daughter Charlotte. I laid down the paisley dish towel on my beautiful light granite counter and turned at the sound of bare feet pounding on the wood floor.
A smiled pulled at my face as I saw little auburn colored curls in a diaper waddling down the hall, followed by Cal shouting “ Go Maxie Go!... Em do you see this!” I laughed, “Yeah babe I see it!” Not only was our little girl adorable but she was a fast learner just like her momma. Only eleven months old and already cruising around the house. I reached down, picked up Maxine and gave my little peanut a kiss. “Love you beautiful girl…” I turned to Cal. “Where’s Mari?” His eyes went a little wide. “One sec.” I giggled as I nuzzled Maxie.” A minute later Cal came running in with little Mari in his arms, covered in what looked like lotion. I laughed “really?” He shrugged his shoulders “She’s a mischievous one like her old man.”