Kissing Snowflakes

by Abby Sher

  “What do you think of that?” he said.

  “Everything?” I sounded like a squeaking chipmunk.

  “Yeah, everything.” He traced a finger down my nose. I tried to blink the world into focus, but the sky was still moving so fast behind his head. Then I concentrated on staring just at one of his eyebrows, but it kept moving, too. I wished everything would just stop for a second so I could catch up. I mean, I had imagined this moment for so long. My first time. But I had never pictured it in a hot tub surrounded by towering fir trees in the middle of Nowheresville, Vermont, with a guy who wore goggles and cherry ChapStick, and whom I had just met that day.

  “Right here?” I managed to get out.

  “Or we could go up to your room,” he said, smoothing my hair.

  I thought of kids from school — Sara Spencer and Kevin Mallon, Alissa Paulson and Andy Trotts. People were doing it all the time. What was I so scared of? Drew was hotter than both those guys. And older. But … but …

  “But, I mean, I don’t know anything about you,” I said. I hoped I didn’t sound whiny.

  Drew laughed softly. “So sweet,” he said. “What do you want to know?”

  “Um, I don’t know. What’s your favorite food?” Nice, Levy. C’mon. You can do better than that. But Drew just smiled.

  “Cheese ravioli with my mom’s marinara sauce.”

  Okay, good answer. He had family values.

  “Favorite book?”

  “Hmm, I’m more of a magazine guy than books. Sports Illustrated, you know, Maxim, sometimes GQ.”

  Okay, well at least he read.

  “All right, here’s a hard one. Name one reason why I shouldn’t like you.” To be honest, I hadn’t thought of that one by myself. It was from this movie Phoebe and I rented about these kids at summer camp. It was kind of silly I guess, but Drew took it seriously. His eyebrows came together and he bit his lip.

  “Hmm. That is a hard one. I mean, I think you should like me. But if I have to say something then … I guess I’m kinda impetuous. Like I see what I want and I go after it. Is that okay?” He came in for another kiss.

  “Yeah, that’s okay.” Better than “I killed a man once” or “I eat babies with duck sauce.”

  “Do you feel like you know me a little better now?” he asked, grinning.

  “I guess …”

  “Good, because you still haven’t answered my question….”

  Think, Levy. Think!

  “Well, do you want to know more about me?” I said, trying to bat my eyelashes like I’d seen Liz do before.

  “Sure. Right.” He sighed. “Okay, favorite food?”

  “Cold pizza! Or really thick bread with butter. The grainy kind. Sometimes garlic potatoes, but they have to be cooked with milk, and I love split pea soup. Especially with —”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” said Drew.

  “Sorry.”

  “Okay, what else?” he said.

  “No, you ask me another,” I instructed.

  “Right … um, favorite book?”

  “Catcher in the Rye.”

  “Who’s that by?”

  I bit my lip. Definite points off.

  But not everyone can be a nerd, Levy. Give him a break.

  “J. D. Salinger.”

  “Okay, sorry, never heard of him. And the ten-thousand-dollar question of the night … will you sleep with me?” He ducked his face into the water until just his eyes were showing. Did he know I was a sucker for eyes? I tried to smile, but I felt scared and a little bit nauseous. He bobbed up until he was just next to my face, waiting. I had to say something.

  “I don’t know…. It’s a little cold out here.” My voice shook. My tongue felt heavy, but I kept going. “And upstairs … um, Jeremy and I are sharing a room, so that might not work.” I know you’re not supposed to start a long-term relationship by lying, but I was desperate. “Maybe for tonight we could just do some more kissing and stuff first. You know, get to know each other some more …”

  I was definitely breathing like Darth Vader now, but I couldn’t help it. I needed all the air I could get.

  “Yeah, I guess so,” Drew said slowly. Then he leaned back against the wall next to me and sighed. I looked at the outline of his nose as he gazed up into the trees. His eyes were closed.

  Levy! What had I done?

  I put my hand on his then tried to sound soft and seductive as I said, “I mean, I had a really good time tonight.” He didn’t answer.

  “I really like kissing you,” I said, even lower, touching his shoulder.

  “Yeah, I like kissing you, too.” His voice was kind of flat, and his eyes were still closed. Was he going to sleep?

  Don’t give up, Levy. Just say something. Anything.

  “And that was really fun doing karaoke before. Don’t you think? Hey! Why didn’t you get up and sing?”

  “I can’t sing,” he said.

  It was actually true. I had heard him trying to hum along when Stevie D. was up there and Drew was totally off-key, but of course I said, “Of course you can! Anyone can sing! I mean, we can’t all be Liz.”

  “Yeah, Liz looked really hot up there,” he said.

  I waited for him to continue, but he was quiet. Wasn’t he going to say anything about me up there?

  “Yeah, she did,” I added limply.

  “Oh, I mean, you looked great up there, too!” He opened his eyes and moved in toward me again. “You were behind Dina most of the time, but I was watching you. You looked really good. And hey —” I felt his arm circling around me again. A shiver ran up my spine. “I had a really good time tonight, too,” he whispered, kissing me lightly on the tip of my nose.

  Okay, keep the down payment, Levy. Hold off on the dogs. But we’re still in the game. I hope.

  “Hey, whaddaya say we head back in, huh? It’s pretty frickin’ cold out here and I’ve got to teach again tomorrow, you know.”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “And you, my girl, have a slope to conquer.” He picked himself up out of the tub and grabbed a towel from the edge. I followed him out.

  “Right.” At least he had called me “my girl.” That was something, right? Ugh. I didn’t feel sure of anything anymore. I was going to be sixteen in a few months, and I had just messed up my one chance to have sex in a hot tub with a guy who had bedroom eyes and skied in the Olympics and loved his mom’s ravioli. What was I doing? Why was I such a loser? And now that I was standing upright, the ground was rocking slowly and I had trouble walking in a straight line.

  We were by the back door leading into the living room. I could see Dina through the sliding door. She was fast asleep on one of the couches by the fire. Trey and Heidi were nowhere to be found. Neither were Jeremy and Liz. Wonder how that turned out. Drew went to open the door, but I pulled at his arm.

  “Hey, Drew?”

  He turned around.

  “Are you, um … mad?”

  He laughed softly. “Mad? No. Disappointed a little, but not mad.”

  “You sure?” I asked. Was all hope lost?

  “Hey,” he touched my cheek. “This is just the beginning, girl. Like you said, we’re just getting to know each other. And I’d like to learn a lot more.”

  He bent down to kiss me. And I leaned into him, feeling his arm wrap around my back. His grip was firm and his lips were warm and full. Yes, I was his girl, and he was kissing me. Kissing me in front of the stars and the moon and the snow gently clinging to the trees. Kissing me, Samantha Levy.

  Me and my kissable lips.

  The next morning started with the telephone ringing next to my head. I fumbled before dropping it on the wooden night table.

  “Yeah?” my voice was scratchy and slurred. My tongue tasted like a brillo pad.

  “Did I wake you, chickadee?” said Dad.

  “Nope,” I croaked. Dad laughed softly.

  “Fun night?” he asked. I heard Kathy murmuring something in the background.

  “Uh-huh.”


  The room slowly started to come into focus. I could see Jeremy’s soggy dyspepsia T-shirt hanging over my chair.

  “Sounds like it,” said Dad. “Honey, Kathy and I are kinda hungry and I called Jeremy but he’s not quite ready yet, either. So we were thinking of heading downstairs. Is that okay?”

  “Sure, yeah. That sounds good.”

  I hung up and fell back onto the pillow. I felt my stomach sloshing around. My head was sloshing around, too. My lips felt raw and chapped from all the cold air and the kissing. I ran my finger across the rough line where they met my skin. Wow. We had done some serious kissing!

  I heard Jeremy turn on the shower. I wondered when he got back in with Liz. Had they done it? Was sex all that it was cracked up to be? Mind-changing? Earth-shattering? How did he know to trust this girl Liz whom he had just met and who shook her hips and made kissy faces into the microphone? But he was a boy. It was different for them, right? And then I started picturing them naked and lying on his bed and that was gross because he was my brother, after all.

  I slipped on some socks and pulled on my hoodie over my pajamas. Everything felt a little fuzzy and I couldn’t move too quickly. Tee-hee! My first real hangover. I was finally a grown-up! Maybe that would mean I had bigger boobs and pouty lips. You know, like in the movies after a crazy party night, when the lead girl looks all disheveled and sultry? I gave a quick look in the mirror. I didn’t look too sultry right now. My hair was stuck to the side of my face and there were deep creases from the pillow across my cheeks. Oh, well.

  Now I just needed some coffee and to get to the slopes as soon as possible. I stuck my cell phone in my pocket so I could call Phoebe, and then headed downstairs.

  The lobby had a strong fire going, and I could hear people in the dining area stirring their coffee and chatting, and the toaster bell announcing fresh English muffins. Everything felt a little too bright and loud. But by far the loudest thing was a woman standing by the front desk, her hands on her hips and her salt-and-pepper nest of hair shaking as she spoke — or rather, yelled. It was the Albert Einstein lady I saw yapping at Phil the first day.

  “I expected more out of you! You call this a family business? I could have stayed at a number of different places, but I chose to come here. It is inexcusable!” Her voice was shrill and only added to the throbbing in my head.

  “I’m sorry. I really am.” Eric was standing behind the desk, speaking slowly, carefully.

  “Well, what are you going to do about it is what I want to know? Huh?” the woman screeched.

  Eric cleared his throat. “I’ll have to talk to my father. We’ve never really had this situation before. I mean, after we replaced the hot water heater —”

  “I’ll tell you what you’re going to do. You are obviously going to have to replace it again! But before you do that, you are going to refund me my money and get on that World Wide Web and you are going to find me another place to stay, mister!” She was shaking a single salmon-colored fingernail in his face.

  Who was this lady? Who said “World Wide Web” and called people “mister”?

  A lot of people in the dining area had quieted down now and were peering over curiously. Nutbags McScreech just kept right on going.

  “Come on! Do it!” she commanded. It was disgusting how she was treating him like he was a disobedient puppy.

  “Well, I’d like to refund you, but —” started Eric. I could see he was trying to stay calm, taking deep breaths. But his eyes were blinking furiously.

  “Good. Because that’s exactly what you’re going to do. Do you hear me?” the woman demanded.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you?”

  I couldn’t take this. I knew it was none of my business, but this was ridiculous. I stepped forward. “Actually, everyone can hear you. You’re waking up the entire inn.” I crossed my arms and tried to exact a menacing gaze.

  Lady Einstein spun around like she had been stung by a bee.

  “And who are you?” She looked me slowly up and down, her lips pressed together in disgust.

  “Sam Levy.” I almost said, “The one with the kissable lips,” but I refrained. “And I was going to have a cup of coffee and sit by the fire, but you kind of ruined that plan.”

  “Well, excuuuuuuse me,” she sneered. “Do you know what ruined my morning?”

  “No. What?”

  “When I went to get into my shower, there was no hot water. No! Hot! Water!”

  “Well, I’m sorry, but that’s no reason to —”

  “And this young man says he doesn’t know what he can do about it. I mean, really!”

  “I’m sorry, and how is this his fault?” I asked, hands on hips.

  She puffed out her cheeks and spluttered. Her lips were colored the same salmon as her nails, and they were thin and flaky. She should learn about cherry ChapStick.

  “Well, he works here, doesn’t he?”

  “It’s a very old building,” started Eric.

  “I’m not talking to you right now. You had your chance.”

  I was seriously going to kick this lady in the teeth.

  “No, you had your chance. It’s not his fault that there was no hot water. Maybe it’s because you used it up taking a bubble bath the night before. I don’t know. And I don’t care! All I know is that is no way to treat somebody who has opened up his home to you. So you think about how to speak to someone before you open your mouth again, because if I were him, I wouldn’t give you any refund. I would tell you to pack your bags and get out of here!”

  I hadn’t meant to go that far. But once again, my mouth was moving faster than my brain, and by the time I stopped, I was breathless. Both Einstein and Eric were staring at me, wide-eyed and stunned.

  Finally, Eric spoke. “Mrs. Briley —” he began.

  “No, that’s okay,” she said. Her voice was a lot lower and softer now. “I’ll be speaking to your father as soon as he comes in. Make sure you tell him it is urgent. And you —” She turned back to me, her teeth gritted together. “You have quite a mouth on you, young lady. You’d better watch it or one day it is going to get you into some serious, I mean serious trouble.” Her nostrils flared but I just concentrated on her flaky lips and didn’t budge an inch. Then she grabbed an apple from the front desk and marched up the stairs and down the hall.

  As soon as we heard her door slam, I burst into giggles. Eric was laughing, too.

  “What a witch,” I said.

  “Yeah,” he said.

  “Sorry I went off like that. Sometimes I get a little carried away. And she just pushed all my buttons.”

  “No, I loved it. My dad always says to let him handle anyone who’s trouble, but I was having a really hard time.”

  “Yeah, well …”

  I nodded. My head felt heavy. I really needed some coffee. And there was something really unnerving about just standing in front of this guy. I thought of him sitting in the dark, drawing. He was kind of weird.

  Dad and Kathy were in the corner by one of the floor-to-ceiling windows. “What was that all about?” Dad asked when I came over.

  “Oh, nothing. Never mind,” I said, grabbing a coffee cup.

  “Wanna join us for breakfast?”

  He and Kathy both had plates full of eggs and bacon. I was pleasantly surprised to see Kathy chewing away. I had pegged her as a strictly cantaloupe girl. But still, the thought of food and Kathy made me pretty queasy right now.

  “Sorry, gotta make a phone call,” I said, and headed out of the dining room.

  I plopped down at my usual spot in front of the fire. I was thinking about getting a sign for this chair that said: Back off. Levy territory.

  Mmm, the coffee felt good.

  “’lo?” Her voice was faint and sleepy.

  “Pheebs!”

  “Hey, Sam!”

  “Did I wake you?”

  “No.” I knew she was lying and that I should let her go back to sleep. But I couldn’t help myself.

&nbs
p; “Oh, Pheebs, it was amazing! We sang ‘Lost and Found’ — just the girls — and I closed my eyes like you said. And then we all went into this hot tub — did you get that? Hot tub? And Drew and I kissed — a lot. And it was really fun kissing him and did I mention he has this blond spiky hair and these incredible eyes and he almost went to the Olympics and he reads ravioli and eats lots of magazines but — no, wait. Whatever. You know what I mean. We actually didn’t do much talking; mostly kissing, but he told me I have kissable lips. Can you believe that? Is that even a real adjective? Kissable?”

  “I think —”

  “But I didn’t let him see my ears, even though he was really close and then he said, ‘I want to explore you’ and I was, like, what? And he totally wanted to have sex! And of course I freaked out and told him that I couldn’t because I was sharing a room with Jeremy, just because, I don’t know. I mean, I just met him, like, twenty-four hours ago, but I mean, no it’s been forty-eight, but still I don’t know, I don’t even know if he’s a serial killer or if he has a middle name or works for the CIA or anything! Help!”

  “Okay, first of all Sam, that’s fantastic. And, do you realize how fantastic this is?”

  “Oh! And you know what the best thing about him is? He is nothing like Leo! I’ve totally moved on. I am over him. You were so right, Pheebs. I just needed some crisp mountain air and a few kisses in a hot tub to realize there are other fish in the sea, you know? I mean, what did Leo and I have in common really except the play, right? We never really talked. I think I idealized him because he was my first kiss, but it wasn’t really a kiss. I mean, who says ‘purty’ right? And now that I’ve really been kissed, it’s so completely different. I mean, Drew is more confident, more serious, more mature….

  “I wish that you could meet him, Pheebs. Well, maybe you will. Maybe he’ll come down to New York for spring break. I bet he has frequent flyer miles. Did I mention he’s eighteen! Oh! it looks like my dad and Kathy are done with breakfast. I gotta get ready to go to the slopes. Hey, but wait — I didn’t hear anything about you.”