No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

  She put the mugs down and looked at him. “It isn’t. It really isn’t.”

  He looked at her left hand, and for the first time he noticed the diamond solitaire ring on her third finger. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

  She followed his gaze and then looked back up at him. “Michael asked me to marry him, when we were in New York. Sorry. What with everything else that’s gone on I just forgot all about telling you.”

  “You obviously said yes.” It wasn’t a question. “So, you tell Michael you’ll marry him then call up your best friend and start an affair?”

  India was getting agitated again. How had she let her life get so bloody complicated? “It wasn’t like that, Terry.”

  “Wasn’t it?”

  “I got scared, ok? Everything was going so fast and I got scared. And I don’t want to do this now.”

  “So, when Kenny turns up today ...?”

  “He’s my best friend. He’ll always be my best friend.”

  “So, just leave it at that. Don’t get any deeper, India; don’t carry on with something that could ruin everything you have. Michael, the baby ...”

  “Terry, please, I said I don’t want to do this now. I didn’t know if I was ready for marriage and babies, I didn’t know, ok? That’s why I got scared, that’s why I turned to Kenny.”

  “But everything was going great with Michael, wasn’t it? I thought everything was perfect?”

  She looked up at him again. “It was ... it is. It still is. What’s happened now, well, it’s put a lot of things into perspective.”

  Terry pulled her into his arms for a hug. “It’s certainly been one hell of a start to 1997.”

  She held onto her brother, suddenly feeling closer to him than she had done in a long time.

  He tilted her face up to look at him, kissing her nose quickly. “You need to talk to me more, India. I’m your brother, that’s what I’m here for. I miss you sometimes. I miss just hanging out with you.”

  She smiled. “Yeah. Me too.”

  He hugged her again. “Just ... don’t do anything stupid, kiddo. I know you’re close to Kenny, but Michael, well, he’s good for you. Don’t put that in jeopardy.”

  She pulled away and busied herself pouring the coffee. “And what about Charley?”

  “Charley? What about her?”

  She turned round. “I know you’ve been looking for her. Have you found her?”

  He hadn’t even thought about Charley these last few hours. “Yeah. I have.”

  “Have you spoken to her?”

  He shook his head.

  “Be careful, Terry. Please. She’s involved with some pretty messed up people from what I can make out.”

  He tried to reassure her with a smile. She had enough to worry about without this as well. “I’m a big boy now, India. I’ll be fine.”

  They both turned round as Kenny walked in, and India couldn’t help but stare at him. He looked incredible in jeans, biker boots and a white t-shirt, his dark hair pushed back off his still unshaven face. Her beautiful best friend.

  Terry didn’t miss the look that passed between them. “Right. I’d better be off.” He picked up his bag, throwing it over his shoulder. “Got a morning of soccer training and an afternoon of meetings.” He went over to kiss India on the cheek. “You take care and I’ll call you later.”

  “Hang on a second, Terry,” Kenny said, throwing his jacket over one of the breakfast bar stools. “Can I have a word?” He looked at India. “I won’t be a minute, ok?” He followed Terry out into the hall.

  “What’s up?” Terry asked, heading for the huge wooden front doors.

  “I know what you’ve been doing, Terry, and I really need you to take a step back from this. I’m not joking. Step away from this and leave it. For now. Just leave it.”

  “I don’t know if I can, Kenny. I’ve seen her, I’ve seen what he’s done to her and that isn’t the Charley I used to know.”

  “This isn’t our world here; this isn’t something we should be getting involved with so I’m telling you, Terry, walk away.”

  Terry looked at him. His face was serious but then so was he. Serious about getting Charley out of there and back where she belonged. With him. So he said nothing, he just gave a small nod and walked out the front door.

  Kenny just hoped that Terry understood what he was getting into because he wasn’t altogether sure that he did.

  He pushed a hand through his hair and walked back into the kitchen.

  “Everything ok?” India asked.

  Kenny nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine,” he smiled, not wanting to worry her with this. He’d deal with Terry later.

  “Michael told you over the ‘phone what this is all about then?” she said.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah. Jesus, India, I had no idea.”

  “Well, neither did I.”

  “Reece Brogan ... your dad! Where the hell did that come from?”

  “It’s a long story, believe me.”

  “Have you seen him? Since last night?”

  She shook her head. “No. I needed some time to think. Terry told me what he knew ...”

  “Terry knew?”

  She looked at him again, handing him a mug of coffee. “Come on, let’s sit down. Like I said, it’s a long story.”

  ***

  Terry threw his bag onto the front seat and slipped behind the wheel of his black convertible, starting the engine. He checked his watch. He still had a bit of time before he was due at school.

  Navigating his way down India’s winding driveway and out of the electronic gates, he turned left and made his way out of Beverly Hills. If he had time to spare he was going to use it in the only way he wanted to right now. He was going to make sure Charley was still where she’d always been lately. He was going to make sure she was there and make sure she knew he was waiting for her, and once he knew she was aware of his presence, then he could finally make a move to get her out of there.

  He smiled as he put his foot down, switching the radio onto a classic rock station and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the sounds of AC/DC as the Californian winter sun beat down on the back of his neck. Maybe things could finally start to look up this year. India wasn’t stupid enough to carry on this thing with Kenny; she had too much to lose. He was confident she’d just had a lapse. Finding out about Reece would help make her see what was important, surely. She had her dad – how weird was that? - and she had a good man in Michael, someone who wanted to look after her. And they had a baby on the way, what could be more exciting than that? He smiled again. His niece or nephew. Maybe they’d inherit some of his footballing talent. He’d have to get to them early though, before they grew up totally Californian. And then there was Charley. He’d never really gotten over Charley, not if he was honest with himself. He’d forgiven her for whatever she’d done to him because, deep down, he’d always loved her and she didn’t deserve what was happening to her now. Whatever had gone on in the past surely nobody could think she deserved that.

  He’d listened to Kenny’s words but he’d known all along that there was only ever going to be one solution to this. Charley was coming home. And if he had his way that was going to be happening sooner rather than later. His mind was made up. And nobody was going to stop him.

  ***

  “I’ve already called him,” India said, standing in front of the French windows that looked out onto her pool and surrounding gardens. “Everyone’s right. I need to talk to him and putting it off isn’t helping anyone.”

  Kenny slipped his arms around her waist and she leaned back against him.

  “You know I can’t do this right now, don’t you?” she whispered, turning round to look at him.

  “I know.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He smiled, gently stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. It broke his heart but she had so much to deal with right now, and he wasn’t anywhere near the top of that list. He just ha
d to accept that.

  “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, India. The time ... it just isn’t right.”

  She looked deep into his eyes before closing hers, kissing his mouth - a long, slow kiss. A final kiss. “But I need you, Kenny. I will always need you, as my friend. I’ll always need you around me. You’re one of the most important people in my life and you know that, don’t you?”

  He wanted to hold her close and never let her go but the more he looked at her, the more he knew she was moving farther away from him and closer to Michael, and maybe that’s the way it should be. She was having his baby after all. She was engaged to him. But, after being with her in the U.K., and after everything that had happened over there, well, he’d let his mind think that maybe there’d been a chance that things could be different. Despite the fact she’d never once let him think that they would be.

  “I’ll always be here, “he whispered. “Haven’t I always said that? I’ll always be here, India.”

  She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, lying against his shoulder, just letting him hold her for a few minutes, feeling the warmth of his body against hers and knowing it could never be like it had been before, not anymore, not now. So much had changed in the last few weeks and she knew she’d acted irrationally and impulsively, but sleeping with Kenny had been a mistake. She’d needed him, at the time, but it had been a mistake. And now she had to start putting everything right and think about the future, beginning with getting to know her father.

  “He isn’t going to start on me, is he?” Kenny asked.

  “Who?” India looked at him and smiled as she realised who he meant. “Reece? No, I don’t think so. I think he’ll be ok.”

  “And what about you?” He pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, the urge to lean forward and kiss her slightly open mouth almost overwhelming him.

  “Me?”

  “Will you be ok?”

  She nodded, taking his hand and squeezing it gently, stroking his fingers with her thumb. “I’ll be just fine, Kenny.”

  They looked at each other for a few seconds, everything they wanted to say to each other passing between them in unspoken words, but they understood it all.

  “Do you want me to stay,” Kenny asked, still holding onto her hand. “Until Reece gets here?”

  She shook her head. “No. He’ll be here any minute, you get going.”

  “You sure?”

  She nodded, slowly letting go of his hand.

  He picked up his jacket and came over to kiss her cheek. “You call me, ok?”

  She nodded again, frightened that if she spoke to him she’d start crying so she said nothing, just watched him walk towards the door, but then she had to look away, blinking back the tears she was determined not to cry.

  “I love you, India.”

  The sound of his voice made her turn back around but she couldn’t meet his eyes, so she looked up at the ceiling for a second, blinking even harder as her vision started to blur. “I know,” she whispered, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as she watched him walk away, turning back to look out of the window again. Why did everything have to be so hard?

  “Are you ok?”

  She turned round quickly to see Reece standing there.

  “Kenny ... he seemed a bit upset.”

  She couldn’t move, she didn’t want to. “It’s fine. It was just ... just something that needed sorting.”

  He approached her slowly, nervous at the reaction he might get because she was obviously tired and emotional, and seeing her like this wasn’t easy. But then, before he could even think about it, she was in his arms and crying, sobbing like a child, clinging onto him, and he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, letting her cry it all out, stroking her hair and rocking her gently. She needed to do this, she needed to get this all out of her system and if he had to stay here all day and all night then he would. He was finally going to be there for her, like he’d wanted to be for so long.

  “It’s ok my darling, it’s ok,” he whispered, feeling her fingers clinging onto his jacket as she held onto him.

  India didn’t want to let go. All the years she’d never really thought about her dad had finally come to a head, along with every other event that had gone on lately, and for a few minutes she just wanted to stay there and be hugged. She wanted to have those hugs she’d missed as a child, those hugs she could have done with in the past.

  The tears dried up but she closed her eyes and continued to hold onto him, feeling him stroke her hair, his strong arms encircling her in a tight grip. She felt safe. She felt protected. It felt good.

  Eventually she pulled away slightly and looked at him, looked into the eyes of the man who was her father. He didn’t look any different to the Reece she’d always known, but he was her dad, and that was still going to take some getting used to.

  “Last night ... I didn’t know what to do, it was a shock,” she whispered.

  “I know. Of course it was. It ... it wasn’t meant to come out that way. This wasn’t how I’d planned to tell you, you have to believe that.”

  She looked at him again. All those years he’d been there for her and now she knew why. “Things rarely go according to plan,” she said, sitting down, curling her legs up underneath her, a hand instinctively going to her stomach.

  Reece sat down beside her. “Are you ok? The baby ...”

  She smiled, keeping her hand on her stomach. After everything that had gone on she’d suddenly become very protective of this unborn child. “The baby’s fine. I’m fine.” She looked into his eyes again. “Look ... Terry’s told me everything he knows but … I need to hear it from you, Reece. I need to hear you tell me.”

  He took her other hand in his and kept hold of it. “I know you do.” He felt nervous all of a sudden, afraid of anything he might tell her coming between them. “I love you so much, you know that, don’t you? You have to know that. I’ve always loved you ...”

  “Just start at the beginning, Reece. Please.”

  So he told her every detail, everything he’d been through, every emotion he’d felt in this struggle to get to where they were now and she listened, never once looking away from him, and as he spoke he saw her eyes fill with tears again – his eyes in the face of the most beautiful woman. His daughter. Somebody he’d been kept away from for so long, because if he’d known …

  “I should have told you the minute I found you, back then in Newcastle, that night I approached you. I should have told you then.”

  She squeezed his hand. “I don’t think we should dwell on should haves and what ifs, Reece. What’s done is done. And anyway, if you had told me that night I’m not sure I would have believed you. I already thought you were crazy, that little piece of information wouldn’t exactly have made me think any different.”

  He looked down at their hands joined together, the diamond solitaire engagement ring on her finger glistening in the sunlight streaming through the huge windows. “Can you forgive me, India? For what’s happened?”

  She squeezed his hand again and he looked at her.

  “There’s nothing to forgive. We all do things we regret and we all have situations we know we could have handled differently. God knows I could reel off a few of my own. The main thing is ... the main thing is that you’re here now. You’re finally here.”

  He felt tears start to burn the back of his eyes as he leaned forward to gently wipe away hers. This beautiful, beautiful woman was his daughter and he loved her more than he could ever have imagined.

  “And I’m never going away again,” he smiled.

  She smiled too, a smile so reminiscent of his own. “Good. That’s good, because this little one in here is going to need a granddad.”

  He laughed, leaning forward to hug her again, an action so small but something he’d dreamed of doing for years, and nobody would ever know how much it meant to him.

  “I’ve finally found my dad,” India whispered, fresh tears stream
ing down her cheeks as she buried her face in his shoulder. “I’ve found my dad.”

  Hearing her say those words was like finally being able to wake up from a dream he’d been trapped in for so long. No more secrets, no more lies. There’d be a media frenzy, of course, but they’d deal with that when the time came. All that mattered right now was that they were sorting things out, together.

  She pulled away and snuggled back up into the corner of the sofa. Reece leaned forward, clasping his hands between his legs, looking down at the floor.

  “You and Kenny. ..”

  “It’s over. That’s what was going on when you arrived ... it was a mistake.”

  He looked up at her, seeing the pain in her face that she was trying so hard to hide. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head, knowing that if she did she’d only start crying again. Her hormones were all over the place at the minute and there was far too much emotion flying around for her to cope with as it was.

  “I just want you to be happy, India.”

  She smiled. “I am happy. I am, honestly. Michael he ... he’s my life. I know he’s not that much younger than you and some people think he’s not right for me but ... I love him, Reece.”

  “There’s a big difference between loving somebody and being in love with them.”

  “I know that. But it’s Kenny I’m not sure I was ever in love with. Everything with him is so complicated.”

  “And with Michael?”

  She couldn’t help but smile. As this strange and tiring day wore on it felt as though everything was slowly falling into place and she suddenly just wanted to be with her fiancé, to get back what they’d had in New York, to go back to that wonderful point when he’d danced her round the room and asked her to marry him and she’d felt just like a princess. She’d almost ruined that and she needed to get it back.

  Reece couldn’t help but notice the look on her face change at the mention of Michael’s name, and that was all he needed to see to know that his daughter had found her man. The age difference and every other doubt he’d had before meant nothing as long as she was happy.