Super Fly vs. Furious Flea!

by Todd H. Doodler

  “How about no school at all?” suggested the wicked roach.

  “Yes, even better!” Number 1 added.

  “And no wearing pants!” Number 2 shouted.

  The other villains stayed silent. They had no idea what Number 2 was talking about. Then again, maybe that’s why his name was Number 2.

  Something in the back of Fred’s mind protested. No, that didn’t sound awesome. It was evil!

  But Fred’s busy jaws overruled his tired mind. All the desserts the adoring fans had heaped on Fred’s tray made him woozy. The sugar high took the flea to a new low.

  Rock ’Em, Sock ’Em

  Mr. Flystein, an inventor like his son, Eugene, often became lost in his work. Yet even he noticed when a week passed and Eugene kept wearing the same stained jeans and sweaty T-shirt. The normally stylish Elle looked even worse! Sleepless for a week, the second grader looked more like a zombie than a secret superhero. The stress was definitely taking its toll on the Flystein siblings.

  Mrs. Flystein cooked the kids’ favorite breakfast: rotten eggs and decaying bacon drizzled in poop. Not even when they really had the flu had her young ever looked so flat. They needed a boost!

  The Flystein siblings sat together on the bus to Brown Barge. Cornelius spat spitballs at them while Fred, Fiona, and the Dungs laughed.

  They’d had enough. Hot anger burned the fog from Elle’s brain. Eugene felt the same burst of energy. The siblings suddenly knew the only way to snap Fred out of his bad-bug craze would be an old-fashioned bug butt-kicking. Super Fly and Fly Girl were just the ones to do it!

  As soon as they stepped off the bus, Eugene confronted Fred. “You’re not a bad bug. And I’m going to prove that to you!”

  “Your days of telling me who I am and what to do are over!” Furious Fred shouted back. The flea flexed his impressive muscles. Fred was small, but he really was furious!

  “You couldn’t hurt a fly even if you tried,” said Eugene.

  “Oh yeah? Try me, Flystein!” replied Fred.

  Eugene knew that as Super Fly he could easily beat his former pest friend. He didn’t want to hurt Fred. But . . .

  Fred bounced toward Eugene. One fist swooped past Eugene’s face. The fly felt the breeze from the blow, which would’ve been a doozy. Furious Fred laughed. “I’ll handle you after school!”

  Then the bell rang and the crowd scrambled into the building. Elle didn’t see Fred again until lunch.

  The spunky second grader told Fred exactly what she thought of him. “You used to be so cool. Now you think you’re cool, but you’re just mean and stupid.”

  Then she turned to Fiona. “And you’re mean and stupid too! Or you’d know the best things about Fred aren’t how bad he is, but how kind and talented and . . .”

  Fiona stuck a finger down her throat and pretended to puke. “You flies make me sick. After school I’ll show you that fleas rule!”

  Grime-flavored gelatin was the dessert of the day. The lunchtime gossip focused on the big fight scheduled for the final bell. It was a “Flies versus Fleas” showdown.

  But when fight time finally came, Elle and Eugene were nowhere to be found. Then the sky buzzed with the sound of super-fast wings. The students of Brown Barge looked up in amazement as Super Fly and Fly Girl looped and swooped through the air, putting on a display of aerial artistry worthy of the Insect Corps’ elite air squadron, the Bug Angels.

  The crowd oohed and aahed in time to the dazzling flight of the super flies!

  The students quickly forgot about the fight in favor of this awesome spectacle in the sky.

  Fred became furious! He refused to let the Flystein duo deprive him of the battle he craved. Fred told Cornelius, Dee, and Doo, “Tonight will be the showdown: Good versus Bad; Super Fly versus Furious Flea!”

  Cornelius couldn’t have been happier if he’d found a polluted river of french fry grease. These events fell right into place with his evil plan. By that night, the bug robot army he’d been building on his side of the dirty diaper would be ready. As soon as Furious Flea started playing rock ’em, sock ’em with Super Fly . . .

  Super Fleas

  Eugene and Elle suspected that Crazy Cockroach was up to something. After all, the mean roach wasn’t friends with Fred because he enjoyed his company. Not that Fred’s company wasn’t enjoyable, but evil was a habit with bullies like Cornelius. Being enhanced 9,000 times just meant he bullied on a bigger scale.

  Brother and sister had finished their after-school snack, so they moved from the Flystein kitchen to the living room. Elle flopped on the couch. Eugene paced back and forth, as he often did when he was thinking.

  Eugene guessed, “Cornelius is probably building a bug robot army or something to take over the world.”

  Elle agreed. “He’s not the type to be practicing his Ping-Pong game or reading the classics.”

  Eugene laughed, recalling his triumph at Ping-Pong in the villain’s lair. But could he count on beating Crazy Cockroach again? This time Eugene didn’t even know the villain’s game. He mused, “We need to somehow trick Cornelius into revealing his plan.”

  Elle added, “Once he does, Fred’s bound to realize the roach has just been using him, and his new ‘friends’ weren’t really his friends at all.”

  Eugene smiled for the first time in a long time as he told his sister, “I hope you’re right!”

  So the super siblings put their heads together to plan their strategy for the fight against Furious Flea and Fiona.

  Eugene said, “Maybe we should pretend the fleas are beating us. That will make Crazy Cockroach feel confident. Villains can’t resist the urge to gloat and spill the beans, especially if they feel sure they’re going to win.”

  “Are you saying give fleas a chance?” said Elle.

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying,” said Eugene.

  Elle knew where her brother was going. “Once Crazy Cockroach declares his plan for world domination, Furious Flea will finally understand what’s happening.”

  At that very moment, Fred slinked past the talking flies unseen. He wasn’t listening to their conversation. Fred was intent upon his goal: the slice of the Ultimo 6-9000 in the Flysteins’ fridge. That pastry would give him the power to defeat Super Fly!

  Fred knew it was wrong to steal, especially from someone who until recently had been his pest friend. But he couldn’t resist the temptation to become 9,000 times faster, better, stronger, cooler.

  So Fred eased open the refrigerator door and snuck a bite of the oozy, yellowish-green pie. He broke off another chunk to take with him.

  The ooze tasted nothing like he expected, more like wet cardboard than key lime. But Fred didn’t care about taste; he wanted the pie’s powers!

  Then the sneaky flea quietly closed the refrigerator door and . . .

  Six seconds had elapsed since the pie arrived in Fred’s stomach. The flea felt a surge of energy, power, and strength! He bounced, and the force of it bounced Fred right through the Flysteins’ ceiling.

  Oops! So much for stealth mode. Fred chuckled to himself. He felt super fantastic. Fantastic Flea. No, not anymore, no one’s sidekick. He was Furious Flea, and he was going to kick Super Fly’s nerdy butt once and for all.

  Fred cradled the precious bit of lime pie in his hand. Fiona would be so pleased! Didn’t his special new friend deserve to be super too? Together they’d be fleas of great force, respected and feared. Fearless Fiona has a nice ring to it, Fred thought as he soared through the sky.

  Fred wasn’t the only bad boy gloating in evil glee. At that very moment in his stained and stinking lair, Crazy Cockroach tightened the final bolt on the last bug robot in his army of 1,001 robots. Armed and obedient to any command, the robots stood ready to play their part in the insane insect’s scheme to take over the world.

  Cornelius savored the sweet anticipation of victory. This time he would win! Super Fly couldn’t possibly defeat him. Not with his new fleamates. The hapless hero would be too busy defending h
imself against his own pest friend!

  Crazy Cockroach burst into laughter so violent he almost choked. “Phew! Funny. Almost died there. Died laughing? That would be funny. But no, I have better things to do. This is going to be the best night of my life!”

  The roach gloated. “Tonight I’ll watch my enemies fight. And while they’re distracted in the heat of battle, beating each other up, I, Crazy Cockroach, will take over the world!”

  The villain cackled. “I am such a genius!”

  Fly vs. Flea

  Stinkopolis stank that night, even worse than usual. The town reeked with the smell of crime, in this case the senseless destruction of public property.

  Crazy Cockroach and his henchbugs had stolen someone’s golf bag. So they each swung a club, trying to swat the dimpled balls into the windows of Brown Barge Elementary School.

  Number 1 missed the ball completely.

  So did Number 2. “No wonder everybug complains about this game. It’s harder than it looks!”

  Their 9,000-times-enhanced companion swung his club at the tiny target. The white ball sailed toward the school. Then with a loud crash it smashed right through one of the windows!

  Numbers 1 and 2 cheered.

  Cornelius cackled. “He shoots! He scores!”

  Then he placed another ball on the ground, swung the club and . . . CRASH! Another of the school’s windows landed in shards on the muddy ground. This continued for another 547 golf balls smashing into windows. Yes, the school has a lot of windows, thanks for noticing.

  Super Fly felt a rush of anger. What kind of jerk wrecks his own school? This Crazy Cockroach had to be stopped!

  So Super Fly and Fly Girl rushed to take on the evil cockroach and his criminal cohorts.

  Super Fly buzzed toward the roach so fast all Numbers 1 and 2 saw was a blur.

  Super Fly’s fist crashed into Crazy Cockroach’s jaw with a CRACK as loud as a baseball bat hitting a home run.

  But the 9,000-times-enhanced villain wasn’t even fazed by this tremendous blow! Instead, he countered with an equally hard slam at Super Fly’s shoulder. The hit nearly knocked Super Fly beyond the borders of Stinkopolis!

  Meanwhile, Fly Girl battled the Dungs. The nasty beetles were nearly twice the second grader’s size. But they didn’t pull any punches against the girl.

  Number 1 and Number 2 swung their fists as hard as they could. A left from Dee and a right from Doo, another left, another right. The punches fell so fast that even the enhanced superhero couldn’t evade them all.

  Fly Girl exclaimed, “Ow!”

  Dee laughed cruelly.

  “Ooof!” she shouted as another punch connected with her kidney.

  Rage added strength to Elle’s counterpunch, and Dee went flying right into Brown Barge’s flagpole. He landed on his hard, rounded back and quickly returned to the battle.

  Just then, Fly Girl recognized two new arrivals: Furious Flea and Fiona. The female flea sneered at Fly Girl. “Hello, ugly shoes. Are you ready to rumble?”

  Fly Girl didn’t know both fleas had tasted the key-lime-flavored enhancer. She soon got her first clue.

  “You can call me Fearless Fiona,” the girl flea announced. Then her eyes narrowed with menace. “Or you could just call me your worst nightmare!”

  Then she slapped Fly Girl so hard that the young superhero flew into the air faster than if she’d been shot from a cannon. Elle gasped in disbelief.

  At the same time, Furious Flea joined Crazy Cockroach’s epic struggle against Super Fly. With one amazingly powerful punch, Furious Flea sent Super Fly skidding across the school yard on his back. Broken glass from the shattered windows tore at Super Fly’s wings.

  Furious Flea didn’t wait for Super Fly to stand up. Instead, he and Crazy Cockroach started punching as fast as their enhanced muscles allowed. This was even faster than the poor fly could exclaim, “Ouch! Hey! Wait a second!”

  The brilliant brains of both Flystein heroes reached the same conclusion at the same time: the fleas had somehow tasted the Ultimo 6-9000. To their horror, the super siblings also realized they no longer needed to pretend they were getting their butts kicked.

  Fly Girl groaned. “Uh-oh!”

  Super Fly whispered, “We’re getting our butts kicked—for real!”

  Super Fly tried to reason with his former friend. But Furious Flea remained furious!

  Between blows, Fly Girl tried talking to Fiona. But Fearless Fiona wasn’t exactly the let’s-be-reasonable type.

  So the battle raged on. Super bug versus equally super bug; punches and kicks, pinches and slaps, wrestling holds and school yard tricks; even some biting (that’s what fleas do). There was scratching, poking, noogies, headlocks, and hair pulling; all adding up to an amazing contest where victory and defeat changed sides too often for anyone to keep track.

  Then suddenly the skies over Stinkopolis darkened with the arrival of 1,001 flying robot bugs! This time the super siblings both exclaimed at the same time, “WHAT THE . . . ?”

  At that very moment their newly enhanced former flea friend suddenly perceived the truth: this was all a setup! Lucy Kaboosie was right. His new “friends” had lured him into a trap. Everything had been part of another insane scheme to take over Stinkopolis! How could I be so stupid? Fred thought miserably.

  The roach reveled in his own brilliance. Victory would soon be his. Stinkopolis and then the whole world would be at his feet. Odds clearly favored him. What hope could two flies, even super flies, have against a 1,001-robot army?

  However, the odds turned out to be a little odder than Crazy Cockroach calculated. Since he hadn’t planned on Furious Flea eating the Ultimo 6-9000 and giving some to Fiona.

  Suddenly both super fleas sprang into furious action against the robots. Fearless Fiona joined the fight because she was sweet on Fred and because, with enhanced strength, fighting robots was even more fun than sneaking into the movies.

  Cornelius felt confused. How could an ordinary flea punch a robot into a heap of twisted metal—or stomp another as flat as a crushed soda can?

  Of course, the 9,000-times-smarter roach quickly reasoned that the fleas must’ve tasted the Dessert of Destiny. But what could he do about that? Nothing, except watch the four super bugs defeat his entire robot army in less than fifteen minutes (or 900 seconds, for those who prefer smaller time measurements)!

  Fearless or Fabulous?

  Soon super-strong rope (another of Eugene’s successful inventions) bound Crazy Cockroach to his henchbugs. The roach brooded over his latest defeat. He should be ruler of the world by now! Why was he tied to these dumb Dungs?

  Meanwhile, the conversation between Fantastic Flea, Super Fly, and Fly Girl made the frustrated villain feel downright disgusted.

  “I’m sorry I took your friendship for granted,” Super Fly told Fred.

  “I’m sorry I fell for Cornelius’s crackpot scheme,” Fred echoed.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t pay closer attention to both of you,” Elle added. “Friends should watch each other’s backs. And sometimes wash each other’s backs, if they land in sticky stuff.”

  The three good bugs moved in for a hug. Fred kept one arm open to welcome Fiona. But the pretty flea shook her head. “I’m not like you,” she began. “I’m Fearless Fiona!”

  Fred didn’t understand. “That’s just a name, like Furious or Fantastic Flea. You can change your name to something more positive. Fabulous Fiona, Friendly, or whatever.”

  “That’s right,” Elle chimed in. “It doesn’t even have to start with an F. Maybe you could be Super Flea or Flea Girl.”

  Fiona laughed harshly. “Save that corny sap for each other. I enjoy being a bad bug— and I kind of like the idea of the world being run by bad bugs.”

  Fred sighed. Fiona was so much fun. Could she really be . . . evil?

  Apparently so, because the moment the three good bugs flew away, Fearless Fiona untied Crazy Cockroach and his mean-spirited minions. She even helped them pick up al
l the broken robot parts scattered around Brown Barge Elementary.

  Crazy Cockroach shrugged. He hated defeat. But tomorrow was another day, and another chance to rule the world.

  He may have lost his 1,001-robot army, but at least he’d gained a pretty, superpowered, evil flea.

  Tomorrow was a new day for the good bugs too. Fred and Eugene were glad to be back together as pest friends. Elle’s giggly gang enjoyed seeing her back to her smiling, super-cool self.

  Cornelius and the Dungs didn’t bother coming to school. They had bruises to nurse and new devious plans to make. Nobody missed them, not even Mrs. Tiger Moth, who preferred a spitball-free classroom.

  As for Fiona, she went to school. She was even nice to Fred. Because although she was bad and he preferred being good, Fiona still liked Fred.

  And that could lead to trouble.

  Todd H. Doodler is the author and illustrator of the Super Fly series, Rawr! and the Bear in Underwear series, as well as many other fun books for young readers. He is also the founder of David & Goliath, a humorous T-shirt company, and Tighty Whitey Toys, which makes plush animals in underwear. He, too, is a part-time superhero and lives in Los Angeles with his daughter, Elle, and their two labradoodles, Muppet and Pickleberry.

  This electronic edition published in 2016 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc