Yearning for Love

by Toye Lawson Brown

  “You’re crazy, Lance. Most of these guys are married and have families.”

  “So, what’s crazy about that?”

  “It’s crazy because none of them is going to wreck their marriages by sleeping with a stripper; man, this was really stupid.”

  “Look at nerdy Dr. Desmond getting his groove on with Destiny. He doesn’t think my idea is stupid.”

  “Damn,” Walker mouthed. “Let me get him before he makes a fool of himself.”

  “Leave him alone; he’s having fun.”

  “He has a medical practice, a wife, and three kids. He will thank me later,” he said handing the beer over to the waitress and walking away from Lance.

  Squeezing between the bodies filling the room to get to Dr. Desmond, he noticed Jeremy’s hands getting too comfortable with the stripper’s body as she straddled his lap. Grabbing Desmond by the back of his shirt collar, he dragged him away from the woman kissing him. “Look, Doc. I don’t mean to get in your business, but before you go any further with her, think about this. You have a thriving medical practice, a white wife, and three kids. What jury wouldn’t award her everything you have? Not half your money; but every single penny including your social security.”

  Desmond pushed his glasses higher on his nose. “Thank you, Walker. That’s all I needed to hear. I will see you at the wedding tomorrow.”

  “One down, one to go,” he mumbled making his way to his brother. Taking a chair, he scooted it next to his brother and sat down. “What’cha doing, Jeremy?”

  Jeremy twisted his hips in tune to the music playing and with the stripper planted firmly on his lap. “I’m enjoying myself, little brother. Why aren’t you doing the same?”

  “Because, I’m busy trying to save your marriage before it even begins.”

  “Don’t worry about me. We’re all friends, and nobody is going to say anything to Patty.”

  “You’re right; none of us will say anything to Patty, but what about her? What if she decides she wants to see you after tonight? How would you explain to Patty if this woman shows up at your wedding tomorrow, or nine months from now, knock on your front door with your kid in tow?”

  Jeremy dismissed his brother’s nonsense and continued to enjoy the attention the stripper was showering over him. “Like that would happen.”

  “Anything is possible. Why don’t you tip the lady for the lap dance and let her move on to someone who doesn’t have anything to lose.”

  “No way am I letting her go. “Lightening up, Walker; join in and have some fun.”

  “You are playing with fire, Jeremy. Crap like this has a way of coming back to haunt you. Think about your reputation.”

  Jeremy shot him a look. Walker knew that look, and it only happened when Jeremy had too much to drink. “What about your reputation, Walker.”

  “What about it?”

  “Forget it, Walker. I’m getting married; I’ll never have another chance to touch a woman or hang with my friends and be loose. Tonight is about me and I’m going for the gusto. If it makes you feel any better, I’m not going to sleep with her. I’m just playing with her.”

  Walker stopped the stripper from removing her glittery bra. “Take a break, sweetheart; I need to talk to my brother.”

  The woman glared at Walker twisting her wrist from his grasp. Walker creased his brow showing he was serious. She kissed Jeremy on the nose and said, “Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be back to finish my dance.” She slid off his lap using her thumb to free the shorts disappearing between her plumb butt cheeks.

  Walker shook his head returning his attention to his brother. “Look, I’m not trying to ruin your fun, but you chose to get married. If you want to start it off with secrets, that’s on you, but I will not lie to Patty if she asks me what went on here tonight.”

  “Why are you being a goody-two shoe? She's having a bachelorette party at the hotel.”

  “They're having a freaking pajama party. There won’t be any male strippers at her party, Jeremy.”

  “Yeah right,” he said reaching for his drink on the table and downing it.

  “I’m serious, Jeremy. Patty told me what they were doing. Because she included her aunts, she had to keep it clean. They are playing games, watching movies and getting plastered with wine, but nothing dirty like this.”

  “Thanks for telling me but I’m having my fun tonight regardless of what she’s doing. Did you see the woman Lance chose for you? She is banging hot.”

  “True, but I’m not into strippers and you know that.”

  Jeremy stared at him. “Exactly what are you into, Walker? There was a time you dated nothing but superficial women. I introduced you to Mary Ellen and you let her slip between your fingers because you refused to marry her. Now all of sudden you don’t like partying women. Ah wait a minute. You want Nicole McLin.”

  “Nicole has nothing to do with this,” he stated leaning back in the chair.

  “She has everything to do with this! You were her white knight today. Did you hold her hand all the way to the hotel too?” He asked in a disrespectful tone.

  Walker stood up. “I’m not going to argue with you while you’re drunk.”

  “Yep, I hit a nerve. Since you are being open with your advice, let me give you a little. Her skin may be light, but her hair is too coarse for her to be accepted in our social circle. Get with the program and stick with your own, little brother.”

  “Shut up, Jeremy!” He said louder than he expected. The DJ lowered the music in time to draw attention to the brothers arguing. Walker didn’t know if the tightening in his chest came from the strong cigar smoke or his anger building. But he wanted to punch something and if Jeremy didn’t back off, it was going to be him.

  Jeremy leaped from his chair causing Walker to stand to his feet. “Can’t stand to hear the truth? I tried to warn you earlier, but it’s obvious you don’t want to hear what I’m saying. Leave Nicole alone and look elsewhere for love. Dad will never approve of your being with her.”

  “I’m a grown ass man and don’t need Mitch’s approval or yours. I choose who I want to date and if neither one of you like it; tough shit.”

  Jeremy swayed before getting his feet together. Walker stared at him waiting for Jeremy to take a swing at him. While Jeremy was five years older, his boyish looks didn’t show he would be forty-one come his next birthday. Jeremy resembled both his parents. His hair was golden blonde and cut short and neat with no graying like their father’s. His crystal blue eyes and straight nose he inherited from his Italian mother.

  It was clear to everyone that Walker and Jeremy weren’t from the same stock. He and Jeremy shared the same father but different mothers. Walker was the product of a kept mistress demoted to side-chick when the wife caught wind of the long-time affair.

  Mitch Collingsworth was an insensitive man who Walker did not take to when they finally met on his sixteenth birthday. His mother eventually told him the truth about his biological father when he started researching the man he’d thought was his father, and whom he believed died a hero, never existed. His mother had made up the man when Mitch refused to leave his wife and family to marry her once she learned she was pregnant.

  The strong scent of alcohol bathed Walker’s face as he focused on the gloating eyes of his half-brother. The two managed to find a common ground after a rocky start and never thought of themselves as anything but brothers after that. Over the years, however, Walker was slowly seeing more of Mitch in Jeremy than he cared to admit.

  Jeremy patted Walker on the cheek. “Our old man may be an asshole but he holds the deed to your shop. If you want to keep what you have, you better make sure he stays happy.”

  “What are you talking about, Jeremy? I hold the deed to my auto shop.”

  “Oh, come on! Do you really think you got that building on your own? I had to go to dad to get him to co-sign your loan papers for the building. You presented an outstanding business plan to Patty, but your credit sucked, and you had no savings
. Patty and I wanted you to succeed at something since your mother was broke and couldn’t step in to help you.”

  “You’re lying! Mitch Collingsworth’s name is not on any loan documents I have.”

  “I know, right. Having Patty in charge of overseeing your loan was a godsend. She kept dad’s name off any public records so you wouldn’t know about him helping you. So, in a way, you owe him. The best way to keep him off your back is by keeping him happy. Nicole would not make him happy, trust me. He isn’t a liberal, and you doing the swirl with her, would push him over the edge.”

  Walker’s blood burned the longer he listened to Jeremy talk. He wouldn’t allow himself to believe anything Jeremy was saying. When he approached Patty about opening his business, she told him financing wouldn’t be a problem since she would handle processing the paperwork for the commercial loan. She also promised to extend him a personal line of credit with the bank.

  “You’re plastered and, don’t know what you’re talking about. I saved $20,000 and got a line of credit for the rest of the down payment on the building!”

  Jeremy laughed. “You’re an idiot, Walker. What commercial property, fully equipped and operational, could be purchased for the little money you had saved? The property was located in a prime area of town and the seller wanted $175,000 as half the down payment and not a penny less. You needed a lot more than what you had saved.”

  Walker’s arms flopped listlessly at his side. Jeremy was airing his business in front of people who probably knew about the deceit his brother had hidden from him. He gathered enough strength to ball his fists as Jeremy told details of his betrayal.

  Jeremy paced slowly around a stunned Walker. “I received the information from Patty; spoke with the realtor and got her to stop the seller from going with another buyer. I then went to dad and got the rest of the money you needed. I convinced my father it was a small price to pay for him not being a part of your life.”

  The room became quiet as a church rectory when some of their friends left while others stuck around for the outcome of the developing saga. Walker took off his coat, dropping it to the floor prepared to fight his brother if it came to that. “You know damn well, I would not ask Mitch for a glass of water much less money.”

  “You should be thanking me, brother. Hell, we were living like royalty while your mother lived paycheck to paycheck in a rundown neighborhood, barely able to feed the both of you.”

  “My mother did okay taking care of me. She did what she had to do for us to survive and I’m proud of her for not taking scraps from Mitch Collingsworth’s dinner table.”

  “Is that a true statement, Walker? It seems to me your mother did accept scraps from my father. Dad never left our home. So technically, your mother did settle for whatever spare time he would throw her. Which is pretty sad since your mom was an attractive woman back in the day. She just wasn’t smart when it came to choosing the men she slept with.”

  Walker lunged throwing Jeremy over the table breaking it as they fell to the floor. “You son-of-a bitch,” he said through clenched teeth as he punched Jeremy in the face.

  Lance and a few other men hurried to pull Walker away not allowing him to strike his brother a second time. “Walker, don’t! He’s drunk. You know how he gets when he’s drunk. Man, walk away before this gets out of hand.”

  Breathing erratically, Walker ran his hands through his hair. “It’s already out of hand! Screw this shit, I’m out. When that son-of-a bitch is conscious, tell him I said to kiss my ass.”

  Lance caught up with him grabbing his arm before he could leave the bar. “Walker, in the morning, when Jeremy’s sober, he will apologize for what he said. You’re his best man tomorrow. You all have to patch this rift.”

  “I don’t give a shit about his wedding, Lance. I’m not gonna be a part of that damn wedding or anything else having to do with his family.”

  Handing Walker his coat, he said, “You don’t mean that. You’re brothers. Jeremy would do anything for you.”

  His lips thinned. “Lance, would your brother blast your life in a public place like Jeremy did me?” He saw the expression on Lance’s face and answered for him. “I didn’t think so. Have a nice time tomorrow.”

  He pushed his shoulder into the heavy door swinging it open. Fumbling for his keys he got inside the truck starting it but not shifting in a gear to move. What was going on in his life lately? At 36 years of age, he’d worked his way from poverty to make a decent living. He wasn’t rich but lived a decent lifestyle and was able to help his mother financially.

  He and Mitch Collingsworth were not on a father-son level and never aimed to be. He refused to ask his biological father for any help or advice concerning his desires to open a business. They weren’t cordial and never got to a point where they hung out together or even exchanged gifts at Christmas. Once he accepted he was the illegitimate son of a millionaire, he didn’t make any attempts to get closer to the man. He didn’t have a father figure for the first sixteen years of his life and Mitch Collingsworth didn’t attempt to fill that gap now.

  As more of the participants of the bachelor party spilled from the bar, Walker put the truck in reverse and left. He didn’t have a destination in mind, all he knew was he needed to get away from the humiliation of what the day had been for him.

  Chapter Four

  Nicole finished brushing her teeth and taking her medicine. Turning off the light in the bathroom, she went over to the bed and pulled the bedspread back. Taking off her robe, she threw it on the end of the bed and crawled between the cool sheets. The bed was comfortable, and her head sunk into the soft plushness of the pillows easing her tension. She was exhausted and couldn’t wait until the wedding was over tomorrow. All the affection from Patty and her family was alien to her and made her uncomfortable. Someone was bound to notice her hugs were manufactured and not genuine and heartfelt. Either way, she was tired of faking and ready to return home.

  She tried closing her eyes, but they wouldn’t stay closed. There was a lot of work waiting for her at home. The office was relocating to a new building and the technical headaches of dealing with that weighed on her. Which she didn’t know why she was letting it bother her, she might not be going forward with the company. AeroFusion announced layoffs would affect a number of people in order to accommodate the reduced space since advanced technology would be taking over the duties humans once handled.

  She turned on her side folding her hands under her head. She wished she could turn back the clock and redesign her plans for life. Fashion was a risky busy, but one she loved. She could design and sell clothes for wholesale stores or even other high-end boutiques, but that was no fun. Having the rich and famous seek her label exclusively in a store she owned had been a dream since childhood.

  Nicole blamed her father for destroying her dreams. He pounded daily into her head that she was throwing his hard-earned money he was spending on a college education, away on a pipedream and quit paying her tuition. He flatly refused to support her fashion career. No words of encouragement ever came from him only degrading remarks about her style. He even went as far as to say Michelle Obama made a wise choice in going with another designer instead of the lame dress she’d created.

  Her mother was not exactly against her wanting to switch to a career in fashion, but agreed with her father, she should continue with her degree in computer science. The benefits from being employed with a sound company such as AeroFusion guaranteed her future. Not only did she have health care, but a pension and other security a self-employed business could not offer.

  Flopping on her back she stared at the ceiling. There was no one she could express her feelings too. She was an only child with limited access to aunts or cousins. Her father was a bastard and kept her isolated from other family once he gained notoriety in the political world. Now a United States senator, he didn’t want anyone to learn he’d stashed away his mother in a dilapidated nursing home instead of taking her into their grand mansion to li
ve.

  Nicole snuck behind his back to help her grandmother by arranging to move her to a better facility. She’d almost completed the move until her father intervened, cutting off any contact Nicole had with the new nursing home. In retaliation, she threatened to go to the media and tell everything if he didn’t complete the transfer of her grandmother to a place that would care for her.

  Reluctantly, he did.

  But, he also promised to make her suffer for causing him to pay thousands of dollars a month to take care of the woman who effortlessly took care of him when he was a child.

  The tension mounted in the household as Nicole rebelled against her parents. The fights with her father intensified. Her mother listened and did nothing. She was the weakest woman she’d ever met. Not once did her mother stand up to his bullying or take her side on any issues. Octavia Carpenter was content kissing Theodore Carpenter’s butt from every angle. She let the outside world believe they were a loving, and stable family, knowing when the doors closed, it was hell—pure hell.

  The final blow came when Nicole voted for the opponent running against her father for governor of Ohio. He felt she was determined to ruin his career by sabotage. Although he lost by big numbers, he accused her of treason and ordered her from the family home. He’d discontinued her living expenses, took the car she was driving, and cut off her medical care. She could fall into a diabetic coma and die for all he cared. She was no longer his daughter or a part of his life.

  Nicole left the house with nothing and nowhere to go. She finally went to live with her former nanny. She detested her father so much she legally changed her last name using the nanny’s surname to disassociate herself from Theodore Carpenter. She applied and got a grant and student loans to finish college, and when she earned enough money, she rented her first apartment. She was completely on her own living incognito in Columbus, Ohio.

  She didn’t consider herself bitter, but she wanted to see her father suffer. Nothing would satisfy her more than to drive down the street and see him panhandling for his supper. In her mind, the only way he would ever value life would be to lose everything he had and start over from scratch.