Yearning for Love

by Toye Lawson Brown

  “I didn’t spill anything. Anyhow, just get the computer working so I can use it; I have a meeting in an hour and my reports are not finished.”

  “Someone from user support will bring you a new keyboard. That should remedy your problem,” she said disconnecting the old keyboard.

  “No, you get it bring it back right away. Geez, it’s not as if you have anything to do.”

  “Excuse me?” Theodore Carpenter had ruined her day with his obnoxious phone call. It would take very little for her to go over the edge at this point.

  “Nicole, your job, until the end of the week, is to help the other people in the computer department get ready for the move. Why bother them when you aren’t doing anything important but keeping a chair warm?”

  Nicole tapped her foot and smiled. “You’re are absolutely right, Mrs. Colby.”

  Returning to the computer room, she dropped the damaged keyboard on the counter and went to her desk to get her purse and jacket. Going to her supervisor’s office, Jack was reading the newspaper when she walked in and put her security badge and office keys in the center of his desk. “Jack, I’m out.”

  “What’s wrong, Nicole? Aren’t you feeling well?”

  “I’ve never felt better about my life. However, it has been brought to my attention that I’m only a seat-filler for the next couple of days.”

  “I had no control over which techs the company kept or let go, Nicole. They pretty much went by seniority. You have been here the least amount of time.”

  She held up her hand. “I’m not placing any fault for my demise with you, Jack. I’m only letting you know I’m leaving today. I had a dream once, and I let it go when it didn’t pan out the way I expected. It’s time for me to rethink my priorities in life and reach for my dreams while I’m young enough to fall on my ass and bounce back.”

  “I agree but wait the three days, Nicole. You will get a severance package and have a little cushion to pad the fall.”

  She shook her head. “Nope, I’ve put it off long enough. I have to start believing in myself and taking chances again.”

  He leaned back in the chair crossing a leg over his knee. “Well, I will miss your smiling face around here, but how many people can say they have a friend whose father is running for president. His campaign will certainly keep you busy.”

  “W-where did you hear that?” She managed to keep the stuttering surprise from her voice. It now made sense why her father wanted to talk her suddenly.

  He turned the paper around on the desk so she could read the bold print headline. “Right here on page one of the newspaper.”

  “Huh, he announced his bid to run early.”

  “You must be excited. If he wins, you’ll be the First Daughter and able to travel the world and rub noses with kings and queens.”

  She crinkled her nose. “I don’t see myself curtsying for anyone. Besides, elections are two-years away, and anything is apt to happen.”

  “Your jubilation is knocking me out of my chair, McLin. Anyhow, tell your father congratulations, and he has my vote.”

  Nicole resisted the urge to stick two fingers down her throat and gag. She patted herself on the back for keeping her true relationship with her parents a secret for so many years. The things she wanted to say to people when remarks were made about either of them had her biting her tongue until she tasted blood to keep from screaming if only you knew.

  Nicole gave him two thumbs up. “I’ll make sure to tell him. Well, it has been a pleasure working with you, Jack. Thank you so much for never telling anyone my connections to Senator Carpenter.”

  “Hey, I respect you want to live a separate life from your parents. Politics can be gruesome on family members. Yet, to be the daughter of the President of the United States would be awesome.”

  “Yes, it is and no I don’t want to be a part of that. I don’t want the media in my face whenever he does anything questionable, or have a target on my back. I want to live my own life free of the microscope.”

  “We see things differently, but I understand. I hate I’m losing you. You were truly a team player and did whatever needed to be done without me asking.” He lifted his large body from the small squeaky chair. “I know hugs are inappropriate in the workplace, but I’m giving you one anyhow.”

  Nicole cringed when his arms went around her. Jack was a big man, but a gentle giant and the best boss she’d ever had. He was a political buff and stumbled across her true identity by mistake but kept it a secret as she’d wished.

  Stroking his back with the tips of her fingers, she pushed him away. “Okay, don’t get emotional on me.”

  He laughed releasing her to hold her hands. “Behave yourself once you get to the White House. And, don’t go reprogramming the software on the computers. Lastly, don’t forget about us little people.”

  “I am the little people, and I can honestly say, I will never step one foot inside the White House to mess with anything.” She turned to leave and stopped. “Jack, don’t forget Mrs. Colby is waiting on a new keyboard.”

  “I’ll get someone to her office right away. I wish you the best, Nicole. I’m blessed to have shared a friendship with you.”

  “Thanks, Jack. But I think I’m the one that was blessed to have a friend like you,” she said feeling a warmth spreading through her limbs. Maybe she wasn’t as much like her father as she thought. Maybe she could learn to show emotions or accept love if the walls built around her were to fall.

  Nicole left the building without saying goodbye to no other person besides Jack. As she reached the revolving door, she saw a sleek black Lincoln Towncar parked at the curb. She reversed directions to exit the building through another door. Her father hadn’t seen her in years and probably had no clue what she looked like. Pulling the collar of her coat high around her neck and her hat low across her brow, she ran across the street.

  Checking over her shoulder as she entered the garage making sure she was not being followed, the coast was clear. Unlocking the car door she got inside to get home as soon as she could. If her father had tracked down her place of employment, he most likely was in possession of her address. The sudden urge came over her to pack a suitcase and get out of town for a few days.

  Chapter Eight

  Walker sat at the dining room table shaking his foot crossed over his knee. Patty saw the pulsating in his jaw and watched him twitch in his seat. “Walker, you want more wine or dessert?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Well, can I get you anything?”

  He arched his brow. “Yeah, the answer to why I’m here. If this is a ploy to get me and Jeremy to talk, forget it,” he said getting up from the table.

  “Jeremy is out of town on business. However, I want to talk about the two of you.”

  “I have nothing to say. Jeremy showed his true colors, and he feels he’s above me even after his proclamation of brotherly love.”

  She folded her arms across the table and stared at him. “Okay, then let’s talk about Nicole.”

  He shrugged his shoulder. “What about her?”

  “Have you washed your hands of her? I mean you came back to Cleveland without her.”

  “Long story.” His voice dropped, and he grew still.

  Patty scratched her head. “I don’t talk to her daily but she seems to have a split personality at times. One minute she is sweet and friendly and the next she’ll be cold as ice. It’s kind of disturbing.”

  Walker rubbed the side of his face with his finger. Her image remained in his mind. She did have two sides to her just as there were two sides to him. “She is normal, Patty. What Nicole needs is for someone to rely on.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You think she is lonely and looking for love when that’s not the case.”

  “Don’t let her fool you; she wants love. At the wedding, she was watching the couples dancing and me and Jeremy kissing. She wants that, Walker.”

  “Maybe so, but her main concern is not lovi
ng but hurting people she may love.” He tugged at his ear. “I wish I could get her to open up and release the demons haunting her.”

  Patty pushed him on the arm. “What the heck are you talking about?”

  “I’m saying Nicole is a complex person, and I understand why.”

  “Care to share with me?”

  “No, I can’t share it with you. God, I wished she hadn’t pushed me away.”

  “You really care about her. Walker, that’s so sweet.”

  The doorbell rang. “You want me to get that?” He asked.

  “I’ll get it,” she said leaving the dining room.

  Walker removed his cell phone from the holster. Talking about Nicole had him wanting to see her. He would call her before appearing on her doorstep this time. His head lifted to Patty standing against the archway of the dining room. Her face was flushed a deep red with a quirky grin. “What’s wrong with you? Who was at the door?”

  She pursed her lips. “Strangely, Walker, the person at the door is looking for you.”

  He put the phone on the table and sat straight in the chair. “Who would be looking for me at your house?”

  “I think you should go and see for yourself.”

  Shifting his weight to stand, he wondered what prank Patty was pulling. She was a busybody that had to help everyone, and it wouldn’t surprise him if she’d invited Mitch Collingsworth over for a nightcap.

  “Patty, I’m not in the mood for games. What have you done?”

  She crossed her heart. “I have done nothing this time; I swear on a stack of bibles. Your guest is waiting in the living room.”

  A short step from the dining room, he was in the living room facing an obvious optical illusion. It had to be an illusion because this couldn’t be real. A rush of joy swept over him. “Nicole?” Her name was all that would escape his lips.

  “Hi, Walker,” she said releasing a smile.

  He went to her taking her in his arms. He knew she would protest the closeness, but he had to touch her, to make sure he hadn’t passed out and was dreaming. “What are you doing in Cleveland?”

  “I would have called first, but I deleted your number from my phone. When you left my apartment, I figured that would be the last time I’d ever see you again.”

  His gaze wandered across her. There was something wrong. This woman was not the spontaneous type. “How did you track me down here?”

  “I didn’t. Patty’s address is the only one I had, and I was going to get your address from her. “I hope you don’t mind me barging in on you?”

  No, I’m glad you made the trip. Let me take your coat.”

  She tightened her hand around the buttons. “I was hoping we could talk privately.”

  Walker nodded catching the signal that Patty must have been behind him or standing somewhere nearby in earshot. “Yeah, we can go to my place.”

  Twenty minutes later, Walker pulled his truck close to the garage door, leaving enough space for Nicole to park behind him. He got out of his truck to meet her at her car. Seeing the suitcase laying on the backseat, warning alarms went off in his head; Nicole was either in trouble or running from something.

  She got out of the car following his stare. “You’re wondering why I have a suitcase with me.”

  “It crossed my mind. What’s going on, Nicole?”

  The wind blowing caused the ends of her hair to fly from under the hat and slap her in the face. Using a gloved hand, she cleared hair from her face saying, “I am running, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  “Okay, so who are you running from, and am I just a courteous stop on your way to a new destination?”

  “It’s kind of cold out here; do you mind if we talk inside?”

  He walked with her up the three steps leading to the condo’s front door. Unlocking the door, he let her wait and entered the darkness first. He flipped the switch on the wall lighting the lamps in the living room.

  “Excuse the mess, but I haven’t cleaned in a few days,” he said moving boxes of auto parts from the loveseat.”

  Walker was a true bachelor. The condo wasn’t extremely fashionable but in sync with the style of a single man with no responsibilities to anyone but himself. The oversized television was position in front of the worn leather recliner. The small loveseat didn’t match the chair, and the coffee table, and end tables didn’t match either.

  Nicole noticed the potted plants by the patio window were dead or dying. “You have to water plants in order for them to live.”

  “Yeah well, those weren’t my plants.” He finished cleaning a spot on the couch for her to sit. “Have a seat.”

  She took off her coat and gloves laying them across her lap. “Thank you.”

  Walker dragged the lounger around to face her. “So, what’s up, Nicole? Why are you running and from whom?”

  She took a deep breath removing the hat from her head. “My father has found me. I know what he wants, and I refuse to do anything to help him.”

  “I wasn’t aware you were hiding from him. You live in the same city.”

  “I’m not hiding from him in that way. Walker, my father, is Theodore Carpenter. I don’t know if you know him…”

  Walker coughed. “You’re Senator Carpenter’s daughter! Damn—I couldn’t understand what you meant when you said you had to stop him before he got to the White House.”

  “Yes, I am. I legally changed my last name to McLin.”

  He picked at the stuffing sticking from the arm of the chair. “He announced he’s running for the presidency in two years. His campaign could open a Pandora’s Box.”

  “I know and that’s why I’m here. He is looking for me. He called me this morning demanding I meet with him today. I left work, packed a bag and here I am.”

  “He does need to bury the hatchet with you in order to avoid the controversy. Once the media goes snooping around in his past they will find he has a broken link in the family. He’s hoping to amend ties with you before that happens.”

  “Yup, that’s exactly why he wants to meet with me. I won’t help him. He has shown over and over, I mean nothing to him and it is time the rest of the world learns he is nothing but a fake.”

  With a resigned sigh, Walker asked. “What do you want me to do?”

  Nicole lowered her eyes to rest on her lap. “I’m not good with asking people for help, but I have nowhere else to turn.”

  He reached over to rest his hand on hers. “Nicole, we all need someone at some point in our lives.”

  “Yes, but most people have at least one person. I have no one, Walker. When my nanny passed away, that was it for me.”

  He moved to kneel before her. “You have me, and you can stay with me for as long as you like; no strings attached.” A low-wattage version of her movie star smile appeared, and the mere sight of it made his breath catch in his chest.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

  “If I thought you were imposing I wouldn’t have offered. And, if you thought I’d say no, you wouldn’t be here.”

  “I must be slipping in hiding my actions.”

  “I don’t think you’re slipping; I think you are tired of hiding behind the wall you’ve built around yourself. Let me in, Nicole. I promise you will love what’s in store for you.”

  Nicole swallowed. The sincerity pouring from his eyes was doing things to her unknown. Walker whispered softly, “Do what’s on your mind, Nicole. I’m not going to bite you or hurt you.”

  “I want to hug you. I have never hugged a person based on my feelings other than my nanny. She was the only one to give me hugs or kisses when I was a child.”

  “Well, hug me. Only it won’t be an embrace you would give your nanny. It will be because you feel something for me. Do you feel anything for me?”

  She mumbled. “Oh boy, do I ever. Even though I attempted to push you from my mind, you kept invading it like a nagging little gnat. I kept telling myself I’m not capable of having anything lasting, but t
here you are, flying around my head, not letting me forget you exist.”

  He couldn’t resist and laughed. Resting his hands on his knees, he said, “Man, I’ve never been referred to as a gnat. I don’t know if I should be insulted or flattered.”

  Nicole scooted forward on the couch. “Be flattered. Walker, you made me realize I was deceiving myself. I do have feelings for you and pushing you away was easier than accepting I might be normal after all.”

  “It’s hard facing our inner demons; especially when they are working against us.”

  “You got that right; my demons are kicking my butt daily. I want them to go away. I want to be normal and live a normal life. I want to have friends; I want to have a man to care for me and me care for him.”

  “You can have all that, Nicole.”

  “How is that possible?”

  “By allowing your yearn for love to overpower the yearn to fight love.”

  “Oh my God,” she said lowly. “I am yearning for love. I’m craving you, Walker Albright.”

  “Babe, I’ve been wanting you since the day we met at church.”

  She groaned grabbing her head. “This is too much to sink in at one time. I can’t go from zero to sixty in a flash.”

  “Nicole, I’m not expecting you to change overnight. I‘m not going to bombarded you with affection either; it’s a process. I want you to be comfortable expressing yourself and accepting what I have to give to you.”

  “I know what I want right now, and I’m comfortable doing it,” she said placing her arms around his neck.

  Walker closed his eyes, enjoying the kiss. Her presence sealed the void his heart contained. Although, he didn’t take joy in getting Nicole under the pretenses she was running from her past, but he would take her, however he could get her at this point. She came looking him, and he was never letting her go again.

  He broke the kiss. Nicole used her finger to remove lipstick from around his mouth. “That was the best kiss I ever had. I’ll get your bag from the car so you can get settled in.”

  “Walker, I don’t know how I will repay you. I have money saved, but I don’t have a job in Columbus anymore. I will look for a job if I decide to stay in Cleveland.”