Yearning for Love

by Toye Lawson Brown

  “Don’t worry about paying me for anything. I want you to take some time and get accustomed to your new digs and learning the city.”

  “I have to work to keep my sanity. I have a college degree so I should be able to find a job in the IT field somewhere.”

  “You know what. Why don’t you concentrate on creating your dream instead of finding any ole job,” he said going outside.

  Chapter Nine

  One Week Later

  Walker tossed and turned on the short loveseat. His body was too long for him to sleep comfortably, and the hardwood floors were too hard on his back. He sat up rubbing his head. A week had passed since Nicole came to stay with him. He offered her the only bedroom and took the couch to give her privacy. He wished he had taken the three bedroom unit when he looked at the rental property, but something told him not to get into debt trying to find a place big enough for Mary Ellen and her kids. Thankful his lease was up for renewal in two months. If he could convince Nicole to stay in Cleveland, he would rent a bigger unit for the both of them.

  The hum of the furnace clicked on as he made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water. Nicole had arranged the kitchen to be a functional space. His kitchen now had dishes that matched, silverware that wasn’t plastic and fluffy towels and sheets in the linen closet.

  He stood at the sink drinking the warm tap water when her voice cracked the silence. “Hey, you couldn’t sleep either?”

  “I got thirsty. What are you doing up?” He asked turning around to face her. She was dressed in a dark purple negligee. The silk of the fabric clung to every curve of her body. Her hair cascaded gently over her shoulders. She was beautiful, and he longed to touch what was underneath but didn’t press her. When she was ready to take the next step, she would let him know.

  “I need to eat a little something. I was feeling a little strange—my sugar is a little on the low side.”

  “Sit down. I’ll fix you a sandwich,” he said going to the fridge.

  “Walker, I can do it myself.”

  “I know you can but I want to do it. Nicole, release the power and let me take care of you for once.”

  She sat at the table not fussing with him. “Okay.”

  *****

  Nicole watched him wash his hands and take the bread from the counter and a saucer from the cabinet. Cutting one slice of bread in half, he prepared her a turkey sandwich and poured exactly four ounces of apple juice in a glass.

  “One turkey sandwich just the way you like it,” he said smiling as he put the food on the table.

  She took a bite of the sandwich and sipped a little of the juice. “Walker, I don’t want you to wait hand-and-foot on me.”

  “Consider this one you will owe me. When I’m watching a game on television, I'll ask for a beer and you won’t bitch about bringing one to me.”

  “Ha-ha, good one, but okay, I can handle that. Speaking of which, you haven’t been watching sports or going out and it’s because of me. I don’t mind if you want to hang with your friends without me. I’m used to being alone.”

  “I’m having fun going to dinner and the movies with you. My friends can watch a basketball game without me. Aren’t you enjoying spending time together?”

  She grinned tucking her hair behind her ears. “Actually, I’m having a ball. The one guy I used to hang out with wanted to do these types of things and I shunned away. The most we would do would watch a movie when my nanny went to bed, or I’d cook him dinner.”

  “How long ago did you date him?”

  She looked at him. Even in the semi-darkness of the kitchen she could tell he was jealous by the look in his eyes. “He stuck around about a year before he had enough of me.”

  Walker scratched his head. “He didn’t want you bad enough.”

  “We were young, Walker. I was only twenty-one and had too much going on at the time he wanted to be with me. I was paranoid my father was having me followed to make sure I wouldn’t do anything to mess up his precious career. And I didn’t want to be with him in that way.”

  “This guy knew your real identity.”

  “He knew only what I told him which wasn’t the truth.”

  Walker crossed his arms over his bare chest. The only clothing he wore was long pajama pants. “Hmm, a twenty-something guy and a beautiful young woman. He was probably going nuts in more ways than one.”

  Eating the last bite of food, she washed it down with the apple juice. “If you are referring to romance, there wasn’t any. You seem to forget I don’t have that emotion.”

  “So it was wham-bam and out the door type of arrangement? Jesus, Nicole, how could you go through the motions without feeling the splendor.”

  She raised her eyebrow and with an airy laugh, replied, “Well, I guess I was portraying what most men do all the time.”

  He applauded by clapping his hands. “I don’t even have a comeback for that.” He took the saucer off the table and went to the sink. Tying the twist around the bread, he put it away and the package of turkey in the fridge. “Your insulin is low. Do you have more refills?”

  “No darn it. I’ll have to go home for a doctor’s visit.”

  “I’ll ask Patty to see if Desmond will take you on as a patient. He has his own medical practice.”

  Nicole pushed away from the table. The satin material caressed her skin as she sashayed across the floor. Sidling next to him, Walker dipped his head the curt way she’d grown fond of him doing.

  With a gallant smile, he pulled her against him. “Is there something else you need from me before you go to bed?” He asked.

  The sexy baritone in his voice curled at the base of Nicole’s spine. Over the last several days, she was allowing herself to be human. She felt her walls tumbling down with Walker's persuasiveness of her to step out of her comfort zone. It also didn’t help she had become attracted to him and not just in a sexual way. She missed him when he went to work leaving her home all day to waddle in her own mind.

  She let her fingers trail from his belly button upward. His skin was soft but his stomach muscles hard and defined. Planting a kiss on his chest, she heard him take in a breath, hold it and release it through his nostrils.

  Walker’s hand caressed her arm. The callous from working with his hands grated over her skin. He was a real man. Not a man who sat behind a desk barking orders at employees but he got dirty with the rest of his crew.

  Nicole took a long breath and sank her body against his. “There is something else.”

  “Tell me what you want, Nicole.”

  Rubbing her nose against his, she puckered her lips forcing him to do the same—giving each other little nips of kisses. “I want you.”

  “You have me.”

  She slowly shook her head. “No, I want you upstairs. I want you in our bed. I want you to make love to me.”

  He palmed the nape her neck forcing her head to drop back. His lips burned kisses from her chin down her neck and over to her shoulder. His mission was to explore and devour every inch of her body. The body he patiently waited for her to gift to him.

  Picking her up, Walker carried her upstairs to the bedroom. Sitting on her the edge of the bed, he stepped away looking at her. Nicole tucked her hands beneath her. The fire from his eyes bowed her toes. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

  “Baby, if there are words to explain what I’m feeling inside at this moment; they elude me.”

  She reached for him pulling him down beside her on the bed. “Say what is on your mind, Walker.”

  “I will and if it sounds corny, let me be a nerd just once. Sweetheart, you made me realize I’ve been chasing the wrong women.”

  “Why am I being credited for that?”

  “Regardless of how we met months ago, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

  Nicole blinked. There were tears running from her eyes were not the usual dry, angry, mad-at-the-world tears that would not fall, but happy tears of joy. “Walker…”

&n
bsp; Walker drew her hands to his mouth and kissed the pulse beating against her delicate wrist. “I want to be with you the rest of my life.”

  “Don’t jump too fast to the ever-after. Get to know me. Teach me what making love is about.”

  He moved to kiss her collarbone as his nimble fingers slid the thin strap of the nightgown off her shoulder. Nicole closed her eyes welcoming the passion he bestowed upon her. Each press of his lips to her body crumbled another part of the wall.

  Her hands sought to explore and landed between his legs to caresses his manhood. The swelling hardened under her hand. She didn’t take the time to explore her lover’s body. She wanted it over as quick as possible. She didn’t see the need to get personal with the intimacy since it wasn’t anything but sex. She allowed him ten minutes to do his business, and he had to be gone before she was done in the bathroom.

  Eager to see what lay beneath, she tugged the elastic waistband of Walker’s pajamas down enough to jam her hand inside attempting to free him. Walker’s head jerked up. “Whoa…take it easy, baby. We’ll get there soon enough. I want you to relax and enjoy the experience.”

  “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said reaching for the hem of the gown and pulling it over her head.

  Nicole’s arm’s immediately crossed over her breasts to shield her body from his view. He moved her arms. “Don’t cover yourself. Let me look at you.”

  “Walker….”

  He whispered. “I’m not your wham-bam man, Nicole. I’m going to make love to you. In doing so, we will explore and take our time. Baby, we have all night to get this right.”

  He stood up removing the pajama pants. Nicole’s eyes widened at the sight of him. Her first sexual encounter was with a well-endowed young black man twenty-two years old. Walker was older and more experienced and generously endowed, as well.

  Her mouth dried as she grew restless waiting for him to make the next move. Scooting to the middle of the bed, he followed lying beside her, letting his large hands exploring her slender frame. Her stomach quivered from the chills of his fingers teasing. His mouth captured her in a deep kiss.

  Nicole allowed their tongues to mingle and taste. A moan gathered in her throat when he palmed her breast. He drew his fingers together to pinch and roll her nipples until stiff. She pulled her mouth away to catch her breath. “Mmm.”

  He replaced his fingers with his mouth, suckling gently. Nicole cried out from the rush of pleasure ripping through her body. “Please, Walker. Make love to me now.”

  He ignored her, switching to the other nipple to draw the same sound. She whimpered when his teeth scraped over her nipple creating a new sensation; upping her arousal to boiling. Then the ultimate happened. His hand slipped under her bikini panties. Skilled fingers quickly sought and found what was hiding beneath a soft patch of curly hair.

  Nicole’s head braced against the pillow trying to hold in the pleasure. She couldn’t once his finger slid across the swollen nub of her womanhood. She couldn’t breathe; her chest heaved, and her body bucked as she released a premature orgasm.

  “No,” she whined as her lungs regained air.

  Walker kissed her cheek. “You needed that to take the edge off. Let me know when you’re ready to continue.”

  The room grew hot as a light film of moisture covered her face. “I’m ready.”

  *****

  All the things he wanted to do to her hazed his brain, but he had to take it slow. He had to introduce her to his seduction one kiss at a time. Tonight would be traditional lovemaking; maybe tomorrow he would introduce her to the art of lovemaking.

  Lifting her legs he removed her underwear tossing them to the floor. Taking a condom from the drawer of the nightstand he rolled it on before placing her under him, letting their lower bodies connect and supporting his upper body on his arms looking into her eyes. Nicole spread her legs to make room for his arching manhood to rest against her womanhood.

  Her hands cradled his back, roaming and touching the firmness of his buttocks. Walker’s eyes fell on her. Her breasts were firm and full; her face flushed with desire.

  “You’re so beautiful.”

  Her eyes flickered, and she blinked shutting him out. Arching her back, she whispered, “I’m ready for you.”

  He entered her slowly, gritting his teeth to stop the urge to slam into her fully. She was tight as a newbie, and he had to use patience and pacing. Moving his hips slowly, he opened his eyes to observe Nicole. Her eyes were slammed shut her lips seamed together. Her dark hair fanned the white pillowcase. She opened her mouth to release a small sob. He stopped moving.

  She opened her eyes to catch him staring. “Don’t stop; don’t stop.”

  He withdrew half his length and pushed in further. He felt her muscles relaxing allowing him to venture deeper, opening her tight cavity to accept him. Naturally she closed around him, her warm moisture coating him, creating a hot friction of male and female organs working together to reach the highest pinnacle.

  His bedroom had been quiet too long, now the sounds in the room were erogenous. Heavy panting, the sound of skin slapping against skin soared his excitement. He reclaimed a taunt nipple sucking it between his lips, teasing the sensitive bud with his tongue.

  A groan pulled from his belly. “You feel so damn good,” he mumbled lowering his weight onto her as he moved his hips faster and harder.

  Nicole planted her feet in the mattress arching her hips encouraging him to go deeper, harder. Her arms closed around his neck, seeking his mouth to devour. He loved the sweet taste of her mouth. He couldn’t get enough of the feel of her tongue probing his mouth.

  He felt his testicles tighten and grow heavy. Sweat formed on his forehead and rolled down the side of his face. His breathing intensified. For a minute, his heart was beating faster than he was pumping. Locking his hands on her hips he let go, no longer caring he was pounding her tender flesh. He withdrew his engorged member to surge himself to the hilt. Long deep strokes had her withering beneath him, pushing and clawing at his chest, eliciting pleas not to stop.

  He was in a rhythm, and she was working hard to keep up with him, twisting and rocking beneath him.

  “Dammit, Nicole, release with me, baby.”

  She didn’t reply vocally, but he heard the deep grunts building in her throat and felt her body jerking. Her fingernails digging in his back synchronized with her inner muscles clamping him as he released his orgasm.

  Struggling to recover, he rested on her. His head shared space on the pillow with hers. After a few minutes, his heart rate slowed. He could no longer feel the strong beats of her heart against his chest, and she wasn’t moving, but lying still under his weight. He felt himself drifting off to sleep, too spent to move but knew he should. He was probably suffocating her.

  Forcing himself, he rolled off her to lie on his side. Nicole shifted positions and filled the curve of his body; spooning in the afterglow. His arm went across her midriff, holding her gently. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear.

  “Are you sorry you had sex with me?”

  “No, and I didn’t have sex with you, I made love to you. I’m sorry I got so excited I forgot to take it slow with you.”

  “I’m not complaining. Although, I have to confess; I’ve never experienced anything like that before.”

  Walker was glad her back was to him. She wasn’t able to see the macho, conceited grin spread across his face. “Really?” He said keeping his voice in control.

  “I guess I was a wham-bam girl. I never gave him a chance to show me what foreplay before sex was about.”

  He placed soft kisses on her damp shoulder. “Baby, do we have to talk about your former lover after, you know—what we did.”

  “Yeah, I understand that not being appropriate. I was trying to make a point. Apparently I didn’t get there.”

  He kissed her neck. “Well, don’t get there and let me assume I’m the best lover you ever had.�
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  “She burrowed closer to him when he pulled the bedspread over them. Closing her eyes, she murmured, “My point of the story is, you are the best.”

  Walker slipped out of bed to shower. The spray of the warm water drenching over his head woke him up. Cleaning himself from head to toe, he rinsed off the soap and stepped from the shower taking a towel from the shelf to dry off. Looking in the mirror, he could not wipe the smile from his face or the weirdness shrouding his brain. This was stupid. Crazy. Ridiculous. Could he be falling in love with a woman he barely knew and who had more emotional scars than a daytime soap opera damsel? Applying toothpaste to the brush, he scrubbed his teeth hoping the preposterous notion would wash down the drain with the water.

  Crawling into bed, he went to resume his position with Nicole, but she moved away from him swinging her legs over the side of the bed and sitting up. He asked. “Where are you going?”

  She leaned over kissing him on the forehead. “Don’t fret; I’m not running anywhere but to the bathroom to take a shower. Keep the bed warm for me.”

  Walker rolled on his back crossing his arms behind his head. The thoughts he was having about Nicole were ludicrous but somehow felt right. He was ready to give up the single life and settled down. Only Nicole had to agree to be his wife.

  Chapter Ten

  At work the following day, Walker mounted a wheel on the balancing machine. He spun the wheel to make sure the weight of the wheel and tire balanced evenly around the axle to detect any imbalance. Next he attached a lead weight on the opposite side of the tire to compensate for the weight differences. He had done this so often, the steps came naturally and he could do it in his sleep. With the winter weather gone and warming weather arriving, pot holes were taking a toll on cars and his shop was inundated with customers needing new tires and wheel alignments.

  Remounting the completed tire on the car, he heard his name being called. “Frank, I’m in bay 1.”