A Mother's Duty

by June Francis

  She hesitated, reluctant to let him go. He was Michael’s brother and they had shared a past which contained two people she had cared for dearly. So many memories! She was going to miss him but he could not stay on his terms. ‘No!’ she cried. ‘I just want to say if you’re ever stuck you know where to come.’

  He made no answer but turned and walked away.

  With her cheek pressed against the doorjamb and an obstruction in her throat, Kitty watched until he was out of sight before going back indoors. She found Ben sitting on the bottom stair. ‘Jimmy didn’t come back with my cocoa,’ he said sleepily.

  ‘He forgot, sweetheart.’ How could she explain to him, to any of the boys, about Jimmy leaving them for Myrtle Drury and Rhyl? She pulled Ben to his feet and took him into the kitchen where she made fresh cocoa for the pair of them and for number two. She was tired out but her mind was busy allotting Jimmy’s workload for the next day. Teddy would have to be up early to clean the guests’ shoes, despite his injury. Mick would have to fill the coal scuttles and light the fires in the downstairs rooms. Her eldest son would also have to write a notice to put in the front window advertising for an odd-job man. At least there shouldn’t be any difficulty in finding someone with the way unemployment was. Somehow she would manage.

  But what about Annie! Her spirits sank. How on earth was she going to explain Jimmy and Myrtle to her? She couldn’t! She wouldn’t! It would break her cousin’s heart. Lord, how was she going to cope with it all? For a moment she longed for a strong shoulder to lean on and wondered if she had been a complete fool letting Jimmy go. Then in her mind she heard an echo of her mother’s voice saying, ‘You can do it, girl! We’re strong, you and I.’

  Yet, as Kitty sipped her cocoa, she did not feel strong at all, she just felt tired and weepy. There were tough times behind her but she guessed there were going to be even tougher ones ahead.

  Chapter Two

  ‘I can’t believe it! I don’t believe it,’ cried Annie, her small pointy face crumpling and her fingers screwing up a corner of her apron. ‘Why did he have to go?’

  Kitty avoided her eyes as she slid a fried egg onto a plate. ‘I told you, more money. There’s not much here at the moment.’ She had sworn Mick and Teddy to secrecy concerning Myrtle Drury’s part in Jimmy’s leaving and was praying that Ben would not think about mentioning his visit with Jimmy to Annie. Kitty would not be able to cope if her cousin went to pieces, knowing Jimmy had another woman.

  ‘Well, I never thought Jimmy the type to put money before us,’ said her cousin.

  ‘Me neither,’ said Kitty blandly. ‘But you know how he loves the seaside. And perhaps he wants to spread his wings before it’s too late. He is over thirty. We’ll just have to try and forgive him.’

  ‘Yeah, we’ll have to. But I do think he’s mean leaving us in the lurch. I’d never leave you like that, Kit.’ Annie sniffed back her tears, smoothing her apron before taking the plate to place on a tray beside another.

  Kitty was touched as well as pleased to hear it. With part of her mind she had worried about letting it slip that he had gone to Rhyl fearing Annie might go chasing after Jimmy there.

  Her cousin paused in the doorway. ‘I’m not going to be the only one missing Jimmy, though, Kit. We’re going to have trouble with Ben. I can just see it coming.’

  Kitty had already had trouble with Ben. Upset about Jimmy’s departure, her youngest son had soon got up to mischief. She had not known about it until his yells had penetrated the kitchen and she had dashed to the coal hole which ran under the pavement to discover him tear-stained and covered in coal dust. He had flung himself at her, dirtying her apron and yelling that Teddy had locked him in! Five minutes later Teddy had informed her in an equally furious voice that Ben had taken all the shoelaces out of the guests’ shoes and knotted them together and he’d left fingermarks on the glossy surfaces he had spent ages achieving. She was exasperated with them both and, despite what she had said to Annie, she felt far from forgiving towards Jimmy for his leaving her to cope with them alone.

  She broke another egg into a frying pan and glanced up as Annie bustled back into the kitchen. ‘You’re going to have to get someone to fix that wobbly chair, Kit. I put it to one side but someone’s moved it back again.’

  ‘Mick’s doing a notice for the window. Someone’s bound to answer it. You OK now?’

  Annie nodded. ‘What’s all this about a notice? Mam was saying me uncle Horace’s still out of work. He’d probably appreciate anything you can throw his way. I mean most men can repair things, can’t they? Might as well keep it in the family.’

  Kitty did not think that it was an absolute truth that all men were handy but she only murmured, ‘I don’t really know your uncle Horace.’ She slid another egg onto a plate.

  ‘I don’t know him much meself.’ Annie picked up the plate. ‘He’s hardly ever in when I go there but I know Mam’s worried in case Dad starts slipping money me aunt’s way. It’s hard enough for Mam to cope as it is with the six of us girls and her having to take in sewing.’

  ‘I can imagine,’ said Kitty, but Annie’s words clinched the matter because her mother and Kitty’s had been sisters who had come to Liverpool from St Helens in Lancashire, which was renowned for its glass and coal. They had both ended up in service but Kitty’s mother had come off the better financially so she had always tried to help her sister. ‘Tell your uncle to call round,’ said Kitty with a smile.

  ‘Right!’ said Annie returning her smile, which pleased Kitty because it meant her cousin was perking up again.

  With the breakfasts finished Kitty was about to go down to the basement to check on the boys when Mr Potter came out of the dining room.

  ‘Wunnerful breakfast, Mrs Ryan. You sure are a good cook.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr Potter.’ She smiled and made polite conversation. There were guests and guests and she had taken an instant dislike to this one, so it was an effort. ‘I suppose you and your wife’ll be going to the theatre this afternoon to rehearse your act?’

  He placed his hands behind the wide lapels of a striped cream and navy blue jacket. ‘Things can go missing in theatres, Mrs Ryan, and the tricks in that trunk are too precious to let any Tom, Dick or Harry set their blinkers on. Good day.’ He hurried upstairs.

  Kitty was surprised and pulled a face at his back. She had never known a theatrical not to take props to a theatre and rehearse. Most were also friendly and keen to talk about their work. The boys would have enjoyed learning some magic tricks, so it was a pity Mr Potter had to be different.

  She went down to the basement, wondering whether to offer the boys a reward for good behaviour. There was that film Mick had mentioned? Although it would be too frightening for Ben. She decided to leave it a little longer. After all it was only yesterday since Teddy had got into trouble.

  Mick was disappointed his notice was not to be displayed because he prided himself on his lettering but he and Teddy responded to the promise of an outing to the pictures in a week or two. Ben, though, was quiet, putting on his coat and balaclava, and going outside and up the area steps. There was such a forlorn air about his plump little figure that, despite having the Sunday lunch to prepare, Kitty hurriedly donned her own hat and coat and went after him.

  Church bells pealed across the city calling the faithful to prayer, but despite having a faith Kitty had little time to worship in church. Her life had been so taken up with looking after other people’s needs in one way or another, most of her praying was done at the kitchen sink because if she left it until bedtime she fell asleep before she had finished,

  She caught up with Ben halfway down the Mount and took his hand, determined he would not wander off. They walked round the centre of town looking in shop windows and dreaming. In Great Charlotte Street, Ben gazed longingly in the window of Bee’s cycle shop. ‘When I’m bigger,’ he said, pointing to a blue and black Raleigh tricycle. When I’m richer, she thought wistfully. But right now a tricycle for Ben w
as definitely out of the question, however much she might want to please him; improvements to the hotel had to come first.

  Almost a week passed before Annie’s uncle Horace made an appearance. It was Saturday and Kitty and Ben were in the kitchen having just finished making gingerbread, which was something they both enjoyed. Annie entered and announced grandly, ‘Mr Horace Roe!’ before withdrawing.

  Horace was older than Kitty had imagined and was short and squat with fat rosy cheeks clustered with fine purplish veins. He wore a frayed-at-the-sleeves brown jacket and grey baggy trousers. When he removed a greasy-looking cap it was to reveal straggling grey hair. ‘How-de-do, missus?’ He blinked his eyelids rapidly and appeared none too steady on his feet. ‘T’niece said yer had a job for me.’

  Kitty’s lips twitched but she quickly straightened her face. ‘Have you brought your tools?’

  He took a small screwdriver from his pocket, held it up and took a step forward. Kitty caught a whiff of something intoxicating and her doubts as to his suitability doubled. Still she had to give him a chance with him being Annie’s uncle. ‘Do you want to start with the doorknob? And do you like boys, Mr Roe?’

  ‘I can take them or leave them, missus.’ He looked startled by the question.

  ‘Then take Ben,’ she said, pushing her son forward and hoping for the best. ‘He’ll show you which door.’ Horace went with the small boy, who had behaved beautifully so far that day.

  No sooner had they quit the kitchen than Teddy entered. He sniffed ecstatically. ‘Lov-e-ly gingerbread.’ He placed an arm round Kitty’s waist and hugged her before snaffling a square of gingerbread from behind her back. ‘Is that Annie’s uncle Horace I caught sight of in the lobby?’

  ‘Who else could it be?’ she murmured dryly, wondering where he had been. ‘How’s the leg?’

  ‘Getting better,’ he said shortly, then he grinned. ‘I’ve seen Horace coming out of Yates Wine Lodge hardly able to stand up. Gran would have thrown him out on his ear.’

  Kitty’s heart felt sore at the unexpected mention of her mother. ‘I guessed he drank a little.’

  ‘A little!’ Teddy weaved a drunken path across the floor and fell down, only saving himself from hitting the ground at the last minute by spreading his hands. He levered himself up slowly.

  Her eyes twinkled. ‘There’s no need to be smart. We’ve got to be Christian about this. Sometimes men – not that I agree with it – have this need to drown their sorrows. They don’t seem able to cope with problems like us women do.’ She was remembering how Michael had enjoyed a drop of the hard stuff – the real Irish whiskey which an uncle used to bring over from the Emerald Isle and pass to him under cover of the bedclothes, away from the sharp eyes of Kitty’s mother.

  ‘Oh come on, Ma! Not all men drink, but I agree Horace should be giving the money to his wife and kids not spending it at the ale house.’ He reached for another piece of gingerbread.

  She rapped his knuckles with a wooden spoon. ‘Stop that! Anyhow, let’s not judge him too much and see how he copes with that doorknob.’

  Horace managed the doorknob and afterwards downed two cups of tea and a piece of gingerbread. Drink did not appear to have spoilt his appetite, thought Kitty.

  ‘I’ll be needing glue for that broken chair, missus, so you’ll have to be giving me the money,’ he said.

  ‘I’ll have my eldest son buy the glue,’ said Kitty with half a mind on Yates Wine Lodge. ‘You come back here in the morning.’

  He shrugged, pocketed the coin she gave him and left.

  Kitty looked at Ben and smiled, thinking perhaps Horace could be a surrogate uncle to him. ‘Did you have a nice time with Uncle Horace fixing the doorknob?’

  He shook his blond curls and said with childish candour, ‘He knows nothin’ and he’s too fat. He’ll never shift the Potters’ trunk. You’ll have to get Jimmy back.’

  She was disappointed but for once Teddy was in sympathy with his brother, ruffling his hair and saying equably, ‘No dice, kid. I know how you feel. I miss Jimmy but he chose to leave so you’ll just have to put up with us and fat Horace.’

  Ben’s bottom lip quivered and he flung himself at Teddy and pummelled him. Kitty dragged Ben off and hugged him tightly. ‘I want Jimmy back.’ There was a sob in his voice.

  Kitty remained silent, smoothing back his hair and wondering if she had made a mistake in letting Jimmy go. She could have offered him a partnership without the marriage bed, but almost instantly she knew that it would not have worked. She was just going to have to learn to cope with Ben better.

  When Sunday arrived, being nice to Horace proved beyond Ben and he squeezed wood glue inside one of the man’s jacket pockets. Horace demanded compensation so Kitty gave him a jacket which had belonged to her husband and which she had intended asking Aunt Jane to alter to fit Mick. The man grumbled and asked for money. When she refused he turned nasty but she stood her ground despite her trembling knees. It did not come naturally to her to be tough but, with her mother and Jimmy gone, she was just going to have to be. She felt in a stronger position when Teddy mentioned the chair leg had been glued on back to front. So Horace left, grumbling about mean, bossy women, which really annoyed her because it had been a good jacket she had given him.

  ‘Won’t I be able to go to the pictures now?’ asked Ben, sighing gustily.

  ‘I’ll have to think about that,’ she said severely, despite being convinced he had done her a favour in getting rid of Horace. ‘Let’s see how you behave this week.’

  Ben obviously tried to be on his best behaviour during the next few days so she decided his efforts needed rewarding. The gangster film was no longer showing but Gracie Fields was on in a film called Looking On The Bright Side. It was advertised as bubbling with laughter and music. Just what we all need, thought Kitty, considering how much her mother would have enjoyed such an outing. She had been strict with her grandsons but she had always found pleasure in their company, although she had grieved with Kitty for the baby girl which had been stillborn. It still felt odd not having her there to share things with and Kitty felt vulnerable and lost for a moment.

  As expected, with such a popular star in the film there was a lengthy queue outside the Futurist cinema in Lime Street but Kitty had come prepared. From her handbag she took four bags made up by the girl in William’s Sweet Shop. They contained tiger nuts, creamy whirls, Spanish laces and sticky lice. If that was not enough to keep them all quiet there was entertainment at hand. A fiddler was playing a tune vigorous enough to set toes tapping on what was a chilly evening.

  Chewing on a tiger nut, Kitty craned her neck in an attempt to catch a glimpse of him but her lack of height made it impossible and she felt frustrated. The toe-tapping rhythm changed to a tune that was meltingly sad and evoked a longing for what she did not know. Dreams not realised perhaps? But she had given up expecting dreams to come true a long time ago and all she hoped for now was that one day her ambitions for her hotel would be realised and that her sons would find happiness. She realised how much her life was wrapped up in those two things, but of course they were all she had. It was too late to expect romance at her time of life. In four years’ time she would be forty and some would say past it. She sighed for the unattainable even as she told herself romance did not really exist outside a Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire musical in these tough times.

  The music changed and she began to hum a Scottish air. The busker came into view and she gasped in surprise for he was, as Mick had said on another occasion, a giant of a man.

  Ben pulled on her coat and said excitedly, ‘Ma, he’s got a monkey! Can I put money in its hat?’

  Kitty dug into her pocket and handed him a penny without hesitation. She had been truly grateful to the Scottie for rescuing Teddy. Ben stepped forward with an important air. The monkey was a tiny, dainty creature clad in a plaid jacket and matching cap, carrying in its scrawny paw a larger tartan bonnet with a feather in it.

  ‘Ma, it’s that damn S
cottie,’ said Teddy, in a sibilant whisper loud enough to cause the man to glance their way. His gaze caught Kitty’s and held it, before he lowered an eyelid in a wink. Cheek! she thought and looked away despite the sudden lift to her spirits. He thanked Ben for his contribution in a grave voice, before moving on down the queue.

  When they emerged from the cinema Kitty felt a vague disappointment that the Scottie was nowhere to be seen. He had intruded into her thoughts while watching the film and she had questioned why a man who was obviously fit and strong should need to busk, despite times being hard. She wondered if he had a home to go to on such a night? There was a freezing fog and it was slippery underfoot. She shivered and tried to hurry the boys along the pavement but they would not be hurried, making the most of the night out, and suddenly she realised that they needed time to act daft. The two elder boys especially had little time for play since Jimmy had gone. So she let them enjoy themselves re-enacting parts of the film, mocking Gracie’s singing and fighting imaginary crooks, and in their pleasure she found enjoyment. Even so it was a relief to get home and find that Annie, who was staying the night in Jimmy’s old room, had kept the fire in the front basement room burning.

  ‘Everything OK?’ asked Kitty, her hands curling round her cocoa cup after the boys had gone to bed in their attic bedroom.

  ‘That Mr Potter complained about the biscuits, and there was nothing wrong with them, Kit, honestly!’

  ‘Perhaps he’s hoping I’ll knock something off the bill? He probably thinks because I’m a woman on my own that I’m fair game. Well, it’s not going to work,’ she said determinedly.

  ‘I don’t like the man, and that’s the truth. He complains, then smiles, showing all them teeth of his. Seems to me he has twice as many as anyone else.’ Annie pursed her lips in disapproval. ‘And I’ve yet to get a complimentary ticket off him despite his boasts about the tricks in that trunk.’

  Kitty yawned. ‘I’ll have to find someone to bring that precious trunk of his down soon. They can’t be staying much longer, thank God.’