The Partnership (Extra Credit Book 1)

by Charlotte Penn Clark

  “That was before I knew what else we could be doing tonight. Sex trumps all other plans. Everyone knows that.” The complaining—okay, whining—has a note of laughter now. And this grumbling-but-amused, surly-but-tender thing he’s got going totally does it for me. My heart stretches wide open.

  “It’s not either/or,” I insist, darting a glance at him. He’s as vividly handsome as ever, but he also looks…happy. “But both, so lucky us! Party, then sex. And I want to dance! Remember, you like waiting.”

  Kyle pulls on my hand so I fall against his chest. “Remind me,” he mutters as his mouth comes down on mine. We cling to each other for several moments, and I remember how much I like waiting too—and not waiting. We’ve been at it all week and every time I want him just as much as I did the time before.

  “Clearly I need to work harder at tiring you out,” he says in a low voice against my mouth. I smile because I have been exploding with energy this week—and orgasms.

  “Yes! Please! Harder!” I tease, pulling at him again. I’m breathless and wanting too, but I’m eager to be out with him. This week we’ve mostly holed up in his dorm room. Wednesday morning when we arrived together to Marjorie’s class it was almost a public declaration, but tonight feels official and I’m full of nervous excitement. We seem like a couple and I feel like squealing.

  “Lani! That’s not helping—“ The grumbling is back, and his expression is frustration itself. And I happen to know this guy has no reason to look frustrated.

  I go up on tiptoes and brush a very light kiss against his very nice mouth. “Later. I promise.” I’m serious now and he squeezes my waist before nodding.

  “Yeah. Let’s get it over with then,” he sighs.

  And I realize with some surprise that Kyle isn’t really a party person. He’s not as quiet as I am, but he’s much more of a loner. I turn this over in my head as we walk in silence through the crisp night. The air feels rain-washed and the headlights of passing cars glow yellow in the darkness. Up ahead students spill out of a house that is all lit up and pumping a bass track.

  “Hey—“ Kyle pauses, stopping abruptly. I turn to face him and his eyes are serious. “This is for you. You’re going to get attention.” He scans my outfit again, shaking his head. I wasn’t sure this new little black dress was the right look, but Kyle’s reaction was highly gratifying. “Enjoy it,” he adds gruffly. And I grin like an idiot, overflowing with feelings again.

  When we get inside the music is throbbing and I’m already bouncing up and down on my toes, but Kyle keeps moving through the crowd, carving a path to the kitchen. I crane my neck to see around the jostling bodies dancing in the living room. He hands me a beer before taking one for himself. I take a sip and can’t help wrinkling my nose. I don’t mind getting a buzz on, but I hate the taste of beer.

  “There’s Matt and Annika.” I raise my voice over the din and point to the back of the room. We head over to where they are sitting on a counter and they look relieved to see us.

  “Look at you!” Annika squeals. I do a little pirouette and my dress flares out at my knees. She claps in delight and I give her my best prima ballerina curtsey, smiling.

  “Beautiful and graceful too! Where did you find her, Kyle, and why is she here with you?” Matt smirks. I expect Kyle to dish it back but he just frowns, looking uncomfortable, and then we’re rudely interrupted.

  “You gonna try that again, man?” A stocky guy staggers to a halt near us, nodding at Matt and pointing his beer at Annika. Annika starts to jump up, but Matt snakes a hand around her wrist and leans in to say something to her.

  “She’s hot but not worth it, dude!” The drunk guy shakes his head. Kyle and I both instinctively step between him and our friends.

  “Who the fuck is talking to you?” Kyle growls, standing with his hands on his hips like a barrier wall. “Get out of here, asshole!”

  The guy mutters something as he stumbles away and we pause to watch him go. I’ve heard the gossip about Matt and Annika’s history, but I can’t imagine facing it down over and over again. Annika still looks pale and Matt looks…. God, I always thought he was too smooth for his own good, but right now he looks wrecked.

  “Dance with me!” I say to Annika, reaching out to pull her up. She smiles but shakes her head vehemently.

  “Hey guys!” Holly’s cheery greeting breaks the awkwardness and we turn to see she’s dragging Noah in her wake. No surprise there. She’s in her usual tee shirt and jeans but her curvy figure is hard to downplay and she’s added some dark red lipstick that brightens her vivid coloring even more. Noah looks as wrinkled as usual and wears a bemused expression. I wonder if he needs rescuing.

  “Can you dance?” I ask, intercepting him. I exchange a look with Kyle, who shrugs.

  “Uh—” Noah looks uncertain, but he lets me nudge him toward the living room.

  I smile reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I can make anyone look good.”

  I’m bouncing up and down before we even squeeze onto the crowded dance floor, then I work on coaxing Noah to relax. He’s not ungraceful, but he’s tall and lanky and he doesn’t seem to know what to do with his arms. I shimmy and twist, waving my arms in the air, then making him spin me. He starts to chill out, smiling at my antics. I look behind us and see Holly standing at the edge of the crowd, frowning. Kyle watches me while Matt talks to him. Annika has disappeared.

  I’ve loosened up and now the music is taking me over. A Beyoncé song comes on and as I shift into hip hop moves Noah and I get separated. I find myself with a group of dancers I know, bopping and dipping to the beat. I toss my hair and look back at Kyle, who’s still tracking me. I grin and beckon him over, but suddenly there are too many people between us. Some guy is in my face and someone else is grinding against my butt. I break away and head toward Kyle just as I see him bolt toward me. But there’s a crowd between us.

  “Lani! There’s my girl!” Jamie slings an arm around my shoulder and I flinch. He lowers his head. “You wanna get high? I owe you.”

  Normally I’d take a joint over a beer any day, but Jamie is really pushing it.

  “Seriously? You’re going to risk getting caught again? I’m not saving your ass twice!”

  He droops and his sandy hair falls forward. A lot of girls here totally crush on Jamie, but he and I were only ever friends. We met at orientation freshman year when we both felt out of place in this cold new world. He’s from Southern California and we bonded talking about surfing—then hung out and got high together sometimes.

  “Lani, I told you I’m sorry about that! Come on—we can’t talk here!” He shouts over the music and starts pulling me out the nearest door. I look behind me for Kyle and see him glowering, and poised to interfere. I wave him off, worried about making a scene. No waves.

  Outside Jamie releases my arm and turns toward me. “What’s with you, Lei Lei? You used to be so mellow.”

  I rub my hands over my arms because it’s gotten chillier and snort. “Mellow like a door mat! You took advantage of me, Jamie—and I let you. I thought we were friends.”

  His eyes go big. “Whoa, we are friends! It wasn’t so bad, right? You just have to take that loser class. I would have been expelled, Lei Lei!” I’ve explained a million times that my name is Nalani, not Leilani, but it doesn’t seem to stick. Jamie always calls me that when he’s wheedling.

  “It’s not a loser class! And that’s not the problem. It’s the principle, Jamie! Friends don’t ask friends to lie for them! You shouldn’t have even asked me to cover for you.”

  Jamie looks so genuinely bewildered that I almost laugh. “Why not?” he asks, shrugging.

  And I realize that Jamie isn’t going to get it. He’s always done whatever he wants and he’s mostly sweet and easygoing enough to get away with it. I shake my head. Strange that Kyle seems so much rougher on the outside, but has so much more integrity. Thinking about Kyle makes me feel better—maybe I won’t change Jamie’s behavior, but I said what I needed to.
r />   “And what are you doing with that dude, Lani? Isn’t he graduating?”

  I turn to see Kyle in the doorway to the house, arms folded over his chest, watching us. I’m not sure whether to be annoyed or reassured. I nod absently, trying to read his expression from a distance.

  “Yeah, and enlisting,” I mutter. Something bad is forcing its way into my consciousness.

  “Lani! Wake up, chica! He’s already outta here. And those ROTC guys are like storm troopers.” I tear my eyes from Kyle’s to frown at Jamie, who peers at me suspiciously as if looking for signs of brainwashing.

  “Shut up, Jamie. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sometimes he makes me crazy with his smug assumptions—and with his tendency to drop Spanish into conversation even though he’s all white under that California tan.

  “I know he has to go where they send him, do what they tell him. Isn’t that right, G.I. Joe?” He raises his voice so Kyle can hear him and Kyle moves closer, looking as tense as I’ve ever seen him.

  “Yeah, dickwad. You’re right about something.” Kyle’s voice is quiet and he slings a possessive arm around me. I shiver uneasily.

  Jamie seems unruffled. “And you’re going to wait around, Lani? While he plays at being a hero then comes home to you with PTSD?”

  “Get out of here, Jamie.” I’m trembling now and I step toward him, wanting to wreck his composure as much as he has just wrecked mine.

  “Whoa, Lei Lei! What’s gotten into you?” Jamie shifts backwards, raising his hands in mock surrender. I feel Kyle reaching for me, but I shake him off.

  “Get out of here!” I shout as I advance on Jamie. I shove him as hard as I can so he stumbles back further.

  “Okay, okay! You’re loco, Lani! Jeez!” With a glance at Kyle as if to say ‘she’s your problem now’ he shrugs and saunters away. I have a vague sense that there are other people around staring at me now. I squeeze my eyes shut, but I’m unable to erase Jamie’s warning from my brain. I stifle a sob and feel Kyle pulling me against him. I burrow into his chest and start crying in earnest.

  “You stood up to him, Lani. Good for you.” His hands soothe my back but I can’t stop shivering. “Come inside, sweetheart—you’re cold.”

  I raise my head to look at him and shake my head, though my teeth are chattering. “He’s right, Kyle! How long do we have? A month? Oh my god, graduation is in three weeks!”

  “I may not be deployed yet.” His expression is agonized.

  “When do you leave? Where are you going? Why haven’t we talked about this?” My hands are twisted in his shirt as I hold on tight.

  “I don’t even want to think about it, Lani! I can’t talk about it….”

  “When do you leave, Kyle?” I shout again and he winces.

  “A few days after graduation,” he whispers, stroking my hair.

  I swallow hard. “Where are you going?” I whisper back. I can’t deal with this.

  Kyle hesitates, his eyes full of pain. I’m not sure if he’s hurting for me or for himself, but the tension is too much to bear. I smack my palms against his chest to get a response.

  “Wherever they send me.” His voice is hollow.

  I laugh and the sound is full of bitterness. “What are we doing, Kyle? What were we thinking?” I start to pull away, but he tightens his hold.

  “We still have time together, Lani! We’ll figure something out—“

  I can’t stand the desperation in his voice, in his touch. “Like what? This whole week was a delusion!” I twist away again but Kyle holds my chin and makes me look up at him.

  “Then it was the best goddamned delusion of my life!” His gaze is fierce and I gasp at his intensity. I feel like my whole world is shattering. “Don’t give up, Lani! Don’t….” He struggles to find the words. “…leave me!” he manages finally, his eyes wild on mine.

  He’s alarming me now and I wrench myself free of his hold. He drops his empty hands, still staring at me. All I want is to soothe him and reassure him and make us both forget the specter of separation hanging over us. But I’m terrified—I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone and I’m all alone up on a high wire.

  “I need some time,” I say desperately, backing away.

  “We don’t have time!” he shouts. But he doesn’t move. He just watches me, his chest heaving. I can’t bear to leave and I can’t bear to stay. And then, for the umpteenth time, coward that I am, I turn and run.

  13

  Kyle

  She wants time? Our clock has been ticking since that scene Friday night. Minutes, hours, nights I could have spent with her. I should go to her, but every time I think of it I freeze up. Over and over I replay the loop of her turning and leaving, turning and leaving me, like a GIF gone viral in my brain. She leaves. Over and over she leaves me when I’ve begged her to stay. I want her. I miss her. Fuck, I’m in love with her.

  And even if I went to her what would I say? She’s right. There’s no future for us except long distance phone calls and awkward reunions twice a year. If she didn’t leave me now she’d just leave me later. Everyone leaves. It’s just a matter of time. Even though that week we spent together was like the best dream I ever had. But I can’t think about that week or I’ll go crazy. Why would I get to keep a girl like that?

  I drag myself through the days trying not to think or remember—or feel or want or breathe. I finish my bio project early. I even buckle down and slog through my last paper of the year, dictating it into a computer software program that transcribes it for me to edit. Lani would be proud. I go to the gym late now, trying to wear myself out so I can sleep.

  I finally go to a ROTC advisor to talk about “my future career.” Sergeant Ruiz takes his time reading my file and I can practically hear the clock on the wall ticking. Minutes and seconds pissed away without Lani.

  He looks up and says, “Who are you doing this for?”

  “What?” I swallow. “Sir?”

  He leans back in a creaky armchair and steeples his fingers. “I’ve been here five years and every spring it’s the same thing. Seniors come around freaking out about graduating and figure that joining up will take the pressure off from mom or dad. And the cadets get nervous and suddenly want out of their service commitments. It’s okay, Madison. I’m not offended. I don’t think any less of you. It’s just the way it is.”

  I nod miserably. I’m not sure if it’s better or worse that I’m not the only one panicking.

  The sergeant nods and continues scanning my file. “You thought about what you want to do in the army, Madison?”

  I’m confused. “What do you mean, sir?”

  He folds his arms and almost smiles at me. “You do have choices, son. We try to match skills and interests to the opportunities. What do you like to do?”

  I struggle to answer. He’s right. I never thought beyond enlisting. I figured once I signed the commitment papers I could stop worrying about my future. I thought that was the whole point. Sergeant Ruiz taps a pencil against his desk while he waits.

  “I don’t know, sir.” I say finally, feeling lame. He frowns and stands up, crossing to a window.

  “What’s making you so miserable?” He is facing the window so I can’t read his expression.

  “Sir?”

  He sighs. “Some people come in here worried about jumping out of planes. Some people have got a sick mom at home or a pregnant girlfriend or a wild baby brother they’re leaving behind…. You see what I mean?”

  “Yes, sir.” I hesitate, feeling embarrassed. Would I dread enlisting if it weren’t for leaving Lani? It’s been my goal, my dream since I was fourteen years old. Maybe Lani is a sign that I want not something else so much as something more.

  “It’s a girl, sir.” I admit reluctantly.

  Sergeant Ruiz turns around and studies me. “Let me guess. She’s a junior so she’ll still be here at school next year.”

  I nod curtly, and mumble “yes, sir” again, annoyed that Lani and I seem like any other
couple. If we even are a couple any more.

  The Sergeant shakes his head as if I am, in fact, all too predictable, then hands me a piece of paper from my file.

  “You took the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude test for graduating seniors last fall. Did you ever see your results?”

  “No, sir.” I scan the paper.

  “What do you see there?”

  I skim the page and words jump out at me. Exceptional in analytical skills, quantitative reasoning, spatial and kinesthetic intelligence, moral values, leadership potential…. Huh. I shift uncomfortably in my chair. High in logical aptitude, hand-eye coordination, perseverance…. Low in patience, social awareness, oral and written expression…. I snort. No surprise there.

  I stop reading and look at Sergeant Ruiz. “What does this mean, sir?”

  “It doesn’t mean anything all by itself. What would you like it to mean? You’ve got an impressive portfolio of abilities, Madison. What do you want to do with them?”

  I literally squirm.

  “You want someone else to decide your future for you?” he continues. “Is that why you’re enlisting?”

  “No, sir,” I say automatically, but I’m not sure. Maybe. How pathetic is that?

  “Then think about it. I will too.”

  He dismisses me and I’m just as confused as I was before.

  When class rolls around on Wednesday I’m a nervous wreck. I need to see Lani. I need to touch her. But even more I need to talk to her because I’m in total turmoil and there’s no one better at calming me down. I get to class early and watch the door as everyone files in. I’m still watching the door when Marjorie starts talking so it’s not until fifteen minutes into class that I realize she’s not coming. I’m floored, then disappointed, then angry, then hurt, then….

  “Kyle! Snap out of it, man!” Matt kicks my chair and I startle. “Come work with us.”