If I Was Your Woman: A BBW Camden Love Story

by Mz. Toni

  "Did you bring it?" he asked hyped.

  "Uhhhhhhhh of course I did," I said pulling out an extra Ps4 controller, I was definitely about to tap his ass in Call of Duty.

  "You know I love you auntie but I'm not showing no mercy," he said laughing.

  "Stop talking shit and show me something."

  "Well I see y'all are closer than I thought, how long have y'all been talking?" Shana asked laughing.

  "We talk everyday mom," R.J said draping his arm around my shoulder. Aight well dinner is ready but my husband isn't here yet so we're gonna wait a little while.

  "He ain't never here and I don't want to wait for him mom, it’s our bday dinner and I want to eat," R.J snapped heated.

  "Watch who the hell you're talking to little boy."

  "My bad mom but I don't want to wait, who knows when he'll be home," he replied sadly.

  "You know what you’re right baby, he should have been here on time, we can eat."

  Damn I don't know what's going on but R.J is a very respectful boy so for him to speak up this situation must have been serious to him. I've never met Shana's husband but I don't think I'm liking him too much. When we sat down to eat, the table was packed with all of me and R.J’s favorites. Collard greens, fried chicken, baked mac and cheese, yams, meatloaf, yellow rice, corn bread, and for dessert sweet potato cheesecake.

  "I want to say happy birthday to Shante and R.J, I also want to say thank God for bringing you back into my life. Thank God that my kids have the opportunity to love you just as much as I do," she said tearing up. "Well anyways I just want to say I love you and don't you ever miss another birthday, Christmas, Easter, hell you can't even miss a Halloween," she said hugging me and wiping her tears.

  We sat down and started eating. When we were almost done, we heard the front door open. "Hey baby what's up," Rayshawn said nonchalantly.

  "Fuck is today Sunday?" he asked.

  "Yeah and you missed everything," my nephew said pissed.

  "I'm sorry son work ran longer," he said trying to explain.

  "It’s cool, aunt Shante you ready to play the game?"

  "Yeah let's go baby," I said getting up and leaving the table so they could talk.

  "Are you okay nephew?" I asked as he set the game up.

  "They don't think I notice anything, they think I'm just a baby, but I see my mom ain't happy and I see that my dad ain't never home. I used to get mad or hurt, now I don't even care," he said with his head down.

  "You do care or else you wouldn't be hurt right now," I said hugging him.

  "I don't care about him, I care about my mom and it hurts me to see her hurt."

  "So he hurts her?" I asked pissed.

  "Naw auntie not like that, he don't hit her or anything, come on now you think I would let somebody put their hands on my moms without handling it," he said sounding tough. I couldn't help but laugh because he was dead serious.

  "Aight so how does he hurt her?"

  "He just doesn't come home and she cries sometimes," he said sadly.

  "Look everything will be alright they'll work it out but it's something they have to do by themselves. But as far as you go, you already know I'm a phone call away," I said honestly.

  "Can I stay at your house tonight?"

  "It's winter break so you're always welcome, but you gotta ask your mom."

  "Aight I’ll be back," he said running off. I hoped she said yeah because I really enjoyed my nephews company and I wanted Camille to meet him with his swagged out self. My nephew was a certified cutie. He was only 10 and already 5'6. He was into the skinny jeans not super skinny though, right now he had on Levi's and batman shirt with a fitted on and a pair of KD's, just too cute. "She said I could aunt Shante!" he said hyped, packing his clothes.

  "Aight well let's go because it's getting late," I said walking out of his room to find my sister.

  "Hello Shante, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to dinner but I've heard so much about you. Happy to finally put a face to her name," my brother-in-law said hugging me. Ugh I just didn't like his ass for some reason. Hell I take that back I knew the reason why I didn't like him after talking to my nephew it was obvious this nigga was doing something sneaky.

  "Yeah well nice to finally meet you too," I said walking away.

  "Hey sis, you alright?" I asked as she cleaned the kitchen.

  "Yeah I'm ok, why do you ask?"

  "Just checking on you Shana and I'm here if you ever need to talk."

  "Honestly I'm not ok, he knew about this dinner for weeks so I'm confused as to why his ass didn't make it."

  "I don't know sis what do you think?"

  "I think the nigga up to no good and I been thinking that for a while now."

  "What's done in the dark will come to light eventually. If he's doing dirt you'll find out trust me."

  "I know that's why I'm just waiting. I haven't even mentioned shit to him, I just let him do his thing, let him keep thinking I’m good and cry when I'm alone," she said sadly.

  "Well you don't have to cry when you're alone and honestly I suggest you start investigating because I had a talk with R.J and he notices that you're sad," I said.

  "Damn I didn't even know that he was noticing any changes. You know I live for my kids so I definitely have to nip this shit in the bud or fix it ASAP," she said.

  "Aight I’m about to go, thanks for letting me keep him for a few days, I promise I'll take good care of him," I said hugging her. I gave my nieces and nephew hugs and me and R.J headed out. Now that I had them in my life, I was definitely planning on upgraded to a two bedroom because I expected to get my babies most weekends. I had a lot of catching up to do with them and I was excited about getting to know them, I love kids so I knew this would be fun.

  Chapter 20

  (Camille)

  I was now five months pregnant. I told Mark about the baby months ago but now that I'm starting to show a little Shante and Mark are making me tell my mom. It’s crazy, I walked into Shante’s apartment and Mark and her were sitting there really trying to have an intervention talking about either I tell her or they will. I mean it's not that I'm scared, hell I'm grown, she had me when she was 16 and I'm 20 so I'm most definitely doing better than she did. It’s more so that I don't want to disappoint her. She doesn't even know that me and Mark are back together. Mark is upset because he feels like I'm hiding it but that's not the case. I wasn't trying to hear her mouth and all the negative shit she had to say about my relationship, but I couldn't keep hiding it so I was telling her today.

  "Hey mom can we talk?"

  "Sure baby sit down," she said patting the empty spot on her bed.

  "Ummmmmm so remember a few months ago when you made me take the pregnancy test?"

  "Yeah I've been meaning to apologize to you about that, I was just worried."

  "No don't apologize because you were right," I whispered.

  "What did you just say?" she said leaning into me closer.

  "I said that you were right, I'm pregnant."

  "So you knew you were pregnant when you took that pregnancy test?"

  "Yes I had gone to the doctors a couple weeks prior."

  "So how far are you Camille?"

  "Before you get mad let me explain why I lied," I pleaded not really wanting to tell her how far I was.

  "Fuck you mean explain Camille, you lied to me because that's what you chose to do, you had two options, be honest or lie."

  "I'm sorry mom. I just didn't want to hear all the negative things I knew you would say if I told the truth."

  "Camille you're a grown fucking woman what could I really say?"

  "You always have a lot to say when it comes to me mom."

  "No, I have a lot to say about your choice in men so unless that's your hoodlum’s child, why would I have a problem with it?"

  "He's not a hoodlum and if he is he loves me with everything in him, why isn't that enough?"

  "Wait so after that drug dealer took your virginity and che
ated on you your stupid ass took him back, and not only that, you let him knock you up."

  "Oh so because you ain't take daddy back when he cheated I wasn't supposed to take Mark back?"

  "It ain't got shit to do with your damn daddy but it got everything to do with you being fucking stupid right now."

  "Naw I'm tired of you acting like I'm you and Mark is daddy, people can change and I love him. You left daddy and ain't had a man since," I said shaking my head.

  "I haven't had a man because I made you my main priority Camille."

  "And I appreciate that ma, I really do but I can't do for you what a man can do, and vice versa. Even if it ain't sexual everybody needs and wants somebody."

  "I had you so all that other shit didn’t matter."

  "But were you and are you completely happy?"

  "You know what, your ass trying not to talk about the real issue and that's the fact that you lied to me. You being pregnant and by a damn drug dealer is just the icing on your dysfunctional ass cake," she said nastily.

  "Mom I love you but I love him too, I'm about to have his child and that's something you have to get over," I said boldly.

  "Oh you bad huh, you grown, you don't need me so you think you can tell me what I have to accept and not accept."

  "I didn't mean it like that but I can't keep doing this, I’m grown and I have to hide my relationship."

  "Look either you gonna leave him alone and I can help you raise my grandchild or you can go be grown somewhere else."

  "So if I decide to be with Mark you're going to put your pregnant child out?"

  "Don't try and flip and bounce this shit, I'm doing this for you. Maybe you need to fall on your face before you start listening to someone who done been through it all so pack your shit and go be grown with that nigga."

  "I guess I'm leaving then but I love you," I said kissing her cheek.

  "Yeah whatever and don't call me when that nigga end up dead or in jail."

  "You right mommy," I said letting the tears flow freely.

  I can't believe that I had to actually choose between my mom and my man, I was not prepared for that, but it had to happen. I wasn't a child but as long as I stayed under her roof she would always treat me like one so I know I had to leave, but I love her with everything in me. Shit, she's all I know but now I have my own little family that I have to start making memories with. At the end of the day, this family needs to come first in my life and hopefully my mom will forgive me and learn to accept Mark. I need my best friend so I headed to her apartment hoping that she could cheer me up a little.

  "Heyyyy baby come here," she said with her arms open. Just like she knew I would, I ran into her arms and cried silently. Of all people, Shante knew how strong my bond with my mom was and how bad my heart hurts at the thought of her not being around for the remainder of my pregnancy. Not being there when I gave birth and not being there to bond with her grandchild that shit hurt me to the core.

  "Aunt Shante is everything good?" this little handsome boy said with a concerned look.

  "Yeah baby go head back to my room I'll be there," Shante said.

  "Why you crying? You're too beautiful to be crying, what's your name?" he asked me with swag.

  "If you don't take your little but in that room R.J.," Shante replied laughing.

  "I just want to make her smile auntie," he said blowing a kiss my way, catching the kiss I put it up to my heart, he instantly made me feel better. I was now cracking up laughing.

  "So this is the infamous R.J.," I said walking over to him.

  "The one and only," he replied confidently, causing me to laugh again.

  "Well I'm Camille, your aunt's best friend," I said introducing myself. Nudging Shante hard R.J whispered into her ear and looked back over to me.

  "We was about to go skating do you want to go?" Shante asked trying to hold her laugh in.

  "I would love to. Thanks for the invite even though I don't think I can skate," I said.

  "I hope this makes you feel better Ms. Camille," he said sincerely.

  "Awww you really made my day so much better thank you," I said kissing his cheek. We headed out and spent hours at the skating rink. I didn't skate but I played a bunch of arcade games and we ate pizza until we felt like we were going to burst. This was definitely what I needed to take my mind off the bullshit I was dealing with.

  "So where are you staying because you know you're always welcome here," Shante said just like I knew she would.

  "Thanks bestie but I talked to Mark and of course he demanded I grab my shit and move in with him," I said excited.

  "Oh wow y'all movin on up fast," she said laughing.

  "Yeah but we got this baby coming soon so I guess it’s only right," I said shrugging.

  "Girl your nephew is too damn cute I see he got a lil crushy crush on ya girl," I said cockily laughing.

  "You been so busy planning for the baby I didn't even get to tell you that I've had him for a couple weeks now. You're always at Mark's house so I haven't seen you since my birthday," she said sadly.

  "I know girl so what's new, talk to me."

  "Well I'm thinking about getting a two bedroom, my dinner at my sister's house was awesome, I'm not a virgin anymore and I'm loving my truck," she said fast as hell.

  "Wait pump ya brakes and rewind that shit back, when did this happen?" I asked hyped.

  "The night of my birthday I slept with Kasan."

  "Oooooo bitch is he still with Keisha grimy ass?"

  "Yup she's pregnant too so he basically said he wants to be with her raise his child and what we had was a mistake."

  "Wait, first off are you ok? I'm sorry you had to go through that alone I should have been there. Second of all that hoe ain't pregnant I'm not sure what kind of games she playing but she can't be pregnant."

  "Wait what you mean she can't be pregnant?"

  "You know Keisha always been hot in the ass well when she was 14 she got pregnant and she tried to give herself an abortion so her mom wouldn't find out she was fucking. Well my aunt found her on the bathroom floor laying in her own blood. When she rushed her to the hospital they said she had severe damage and they fixed it the best way they could but she would never be able to conceive."

  "But that don't mean shit Cam, you already know them doctors don't know shit. Maybe it was just hard for her to get pregnant."

  "I'm telling you Shante that girl ain't pregnant, she's my cousin I know her."

  "Well are you gonna tell him because I ain't telling him shit that's who he wanted so imma fall back."

  "If you were to tell him you'd seem like a hating ass chick anyways and I ain't telling him, it's none of my business," I said shaking my head. I got my own drama to worry about. We talked for a little while longer until it was time for me to head to my new home. It felt weird saying it because I was so use to being at home with my mom. I just prayed that she was wrong. I needed Mark to do right by me because I refused to come running back to her with my tail stuck in between my legs. When I pulled up to Mark’s condo, I started unloading my things. "Damn I didn't realize I had so much shit," I thought as I continued to grab bag after bag.

  "Yo what the fuck Cam, why didn't you just call me? Were you really gonna carry all these bags!" Mark snapped scaring the hell out of me.

  "Hey babe I was going to have you grab what I couldn't carry."

  "You’re pregnant, I don't need you doing too much so go upstairs and relax, I got the bags," he said kissing me.

  "Alright I'm going, are you hungry babe?" I asked.

  "Naw when you said you ate I made me a sandwich so I'm good, I ran your bath water I'll be in soon."

  He was so considerate and sweet he surprised me more and more. Since we've gotten back together, he's shown me just how bad he wants us to work.

  Chapter 21

  (Mark)

  A nigga was happy as hell to have my baby living with me. I couldn't believe that her mom made her choose. I still don't understand why sh
e hates me so much; she's hated me even before I cheated on Cam. I guess she don't think I'm good enough for her but I'll prove to her that I am even if it takes me forever. If she ain't budging after that then fuck it, she ain't got to come around or be around our child I could give zero fucks. I know how much Cammy loves her mom so I'm going to at least try to fix shit then I'll know I made the attempt. When I finally got done bringing her things upstairs she was in the tub crying. I knew this whole thing with her mom really hurt her. She was four months pregnant and she didn't need to be stressing, so I needed to make her feel better. Walking into the bathroom, I bent over and washed her back. After I was done, I picked her up wrapping a big towel around her body. I carried her to our bedroom, grabbed her mango body butter and massaged her whole body, focusing on her feet. Next thing I knew she was knocked out. I covered her up with a blanket, kissed her forehead and walked out. Checking my phone, I saw I had five missed phone calls from a Philly number. I sat in my office chair and called it back.

  "Yo who is this?" I said when the female answered.

  "Is that any way to answer the phone, this is Angel."

  "I been meaning to get at you, I don't appreciate that fuck shit you did!"

  "We had consensual sex Mac, so what are you talking about?"

  "Consensual my ass bitch I was pissy drunk, you date raped a nigga!" I said raising my voice forgetting Cam was here.

  "Whatever you wanted it and now I'm pregnant so man up!" she replied laughing.

  "Well congratufuckinglations tell the baby dad I said good luck!"

  "Seriously Mac, that's the way you coming at me?"

  "I’m confused, are you trying to say you having my baby?" I asked laughing.

  "That's exactly what I'm saying nigga and what the fuck is so funny? I swear if you keep acting like this I can just call my fat ass sister and let her know what the fuck we got going on.”

  "Are you threatening me?" I asked heated.

  "I'm not trying to Mac I just want you to do right by this baby," she said calmly.

  "Alright Angel I'll call you later," I said banging on her. What the fuck was I gonna do I know for a fact I didn't purposely fuck that bitch. I could just tell Cam and hope she trusts me enough to know I'm telling the truth. Who the fuck was I fooling, she was gonna fuck around and leave. I know that ain't my baby so ain't no point in stressing wifey out, I'll just wait until the DNA test come back.