No Life, Only Death

by Francheska Fifield

  Chapter Nine (Helen)

  We arrived back at the hotel in time for everyone to change for dinner. I had nothing nice to wear, except an outfit much like the one Phillip had gotten me for dancing class. I didn’t find it coincidental. So, I threw that on and put my hair in a bun. It was loose and not likely to last long. I didn’t have Phillip’s talent and I wasn't missing dinner over my hair. Missy took her time and I hoped she would miss dinner, except then I might have to talk to Nick.

  So, I changed my mind about her not going and told her we only had fifteen minutes to get downstairs. She thanked me; she had been nicer since earlier, and finished up. We ended up walking down together, which I was pretty sure would have shocked Phillip if he was there.

  (Phillip)

  “You are such an idiot! I knew it! I knew you would just make her upset and break her heart!”

  Nick glared at me, one of those ‘back off if you don’t want to die’ glares. I wasn't afraid of him. Maybe I could fix this situation.

  “I didn’t break her heart. For God’s sake, she wasn't in love with me. You said so yourself that it’s a crush, nothing more.”

  “It could have been more if you hadn’t been such a stupid ass.”

  “Oh, come on Phillip. You are just pissed because I had the chance and passed, and she won't give you a chance.”

  “No, I’m pissed because I was right about you not being good enough for her and using her to replace your dead girlfriend. I’m pissed because I was right that you would do nothing but cause her pain. I’m pissed because you hurt her and she is sad, and upset, and depressed. That is why I’m pissed.”

  I pushed it. Maybe I could find out exactly what happened. It had shaken Helen up pretty good. She wasn't heartbroken or anything like that, I was exaggerating. But something he had said to her had gotten to her.

  “Well then be pissed all you want. I can't help it if we decided that we couldn't make each other happy.”

  “You two mutually decided or you decided?”

  He sighed. I was being an ass. But sitting on the sidelines never got answers.

  “We aren’t what the other is looking for. She wants someone whose okay with the no relationship policy but will try anyway, meaning you. And I want…”

  “Celeste.”

  “Yeah. I want Celeste.”

  I nodded. That at least was an honest answer. I could use that.

  “Maybe you’re looking too hard for what you had and not looking for happiness right in front of you.”

  “Did you tell Helen that too?”

  I shook my head. Hell no, she would have kicked my ass. “No. I think her problem is she tries too hard to forget the past instead of remembering it was that that got her where she is today. You two are on opposite ends of the spectrum.”

  I shrugged and smiled.

  “Oh well, your loss is my gain. We will probably end up going to the dance together and since I am helping her pick out her dress, well, giving her ideas to give the French women tomorrow really, she is bound to look fabulous. She’s smart, beautiful, and talented. What more could a guy ask for?”

  It wasn't really a question. I didn’t want an answer so I walked out before he could try. Let him think on that. At least he would be too busy thinking about that to listen to anything Bill might let slip. At least, I was hoping that’s what it would do. I wasn't stupid. I had seen him staring at her all day while we shopped. Maybe this wouldn’t be a loss after all. I could flaunt what he gave up, for a second time, and it would keep him distracted so he wouldn’t be looking for her true identity.

  No need to tell Helen. She’d be madder than a hornet. She’d kill me, unless she thought it was a good idea. She could be emotional but she was never stupid. I shrugged to myself, deciding that if she found out, she did, but that didn’t mean I was going out of my way to tell her.

  (Helen)

  “So, how did you make general so fast? I want to eventually retire and have a family but I thought serving my country, or planets rather, would be a better idea for my youth. Besides, I don’t see anything wrong with learning to defend myself. But it would look great on my record if I became a general before retiring. More respect that way.”

  I nodded. “You’re right that it is still mostly a man’s military. A woman has to work twice as hard to do anything a man can and get the same praise. I can give you a few pointers. First some, not all - but quite a few - women in charge like a ‘yes, sir’ instead of a ‘yes, ma’am’. Since it’s still a man’s military it makes them feel like you are giving them the respect you would give a male commanding officer. I can email you a list of the ones I have come in contact with who do and don’t like it.”

  “Really? Silly little things like that actually help?”

  I smiled. Missy wasn't so bad when she wasn't being a drooling guy-obsessed bitch. I nodded. “Sadly, small things like that will get you farther than skill with a lot of commanders. I always said, when I got a position of authority that I’d make people work for a living. Ass kissing isn't a job in my opinion. My first flight commander, she hated ass kissing. Said it wasted time. Time wasters got nowhere with her, except a first-class ticker to an ass kicking.”

  “She’s the one you punched?”

  “Yeah. She said she actually respected me more for it. My flight mates all died and instead of saying ‘oh well, it doesn't always work out the way the orders are given’, I let them know it wasn't okay to sacrifice soldiers like that. I filed a formal complaint and everything. Of course, no one took it seriously until I became a general.”

  Missy nodded. I bet she knew all about not being taken seriously. She was blonde and looked more like a model than a soldier. She also came off as flaky, making people under estimate her intelligence. I had broken into her records to see she was an honor student. Never got below a ninety-five on a test. That was impressive. She would be great for undercover police work. No one would take her seriously until it was too late.

  I briefly thought about telling her that, but I didn’t want to insult her now that we had made peace. I didn’t play well with others, so when they would tolerate me I had to be nice. Okay, well I don’t have to be, but I would for Jane’s sake.

  The problem is that I am so used to being in charge now I come off as stuck up and bossy. Any soldier to ever work under me will tell you that I take everyone’s ideas into account. If they have a way to better my idea, or even a better idea than mine, I use it.

  (Nick)

  I walked down shortly after Phillip. I wasn't looking forward to dinner. If Missy chatted the entire time I’d kill myself. I didn’t know if I could sit there and watch Phillip salivating over Helen. I wasn't pleased about how things had turned out today.

  Missy now assumed she’d be my date to the ball. Truth be told, I didn’t want to go but it was required.

  I looked around, hoping to spot Missy and thus avoid her. I paused and almost tripped down the rest of the stairs. Missy and Helen were sitting next to each other. Talking and smiling. I looked around, wondering what kind of emergency could have caused that. I didn’t smell nerve gas or anything like that. Phillip stopped in front of them, they looked up and turned their attention on him. I really had to find out what was going on.

  (Helen)

  “You two ladies appear to be getting along well.”

  Missy threw on what I came to see as her guy smile. She wanted them to underestimate her. So that is what the government was going to do with her. She had something against men, something personal. She would go her entire career with no man but her superior knowing just how quick and clever she was. A beautiful spy. A flaky spy. The least dangerous in the eyes of the enemy. I briefly wondered why she hated men, or what she had against them, but I didn’t know her well enough to ask.

  “Well, it’s easier when you men aren't around causing all sorts of trouble and getting on everyone’s nerves.”

  “Helen is right. All of you act like children. Those of you that don’t ac
t like children act like drama queens. It’s enough to push every woman around into PMS.”

  Phillip raised an eyebrow and smiled.

  “Forgive me ladies but I don’t remember creating such a scene before.”

  I waved a hand dismissively. “You didn’t. But you just add to the drama that the others make. Thus, being less than helpful.”

  He nodded.

  “I am so sorry ladies. Now how would you like to join me for dinner? There is more than enough of me to go around.”

  He gave a smile that could charm a blind, straight male. Missy did one of her girly giggles. I used to find it annoying. Now I saw the strategy in it. I could tell Phillip was fooled. He believed her to be a flake. I smiled to myself in my knowledge that Phillip was being played.

  “You all look like you are getting along well. Especially since I was fairly certain all of you hated each other.”

  We all turned to find Nick standing slightly behind Phillip. Missy turned up the wattage on her smile. He believed it, just like Phillip. Silly males.

  “What’s wrong with a little girl-time? Besides, Helen is nicer when you’re not around. You know Nick; I think it might be you that’s the problem.”

  Geez, Missy. Real subtle. The silence stretched on. I was not going to be the first to respond to that. I wouldn’t know what to say in response to that anyway.

  “So, ladies, how about it? Want to join me for dinner?”

  Missy and I looked at each other. I shrugged, indicating my disinterest. Her smile turned just a bit devilish. Not really noticeably if you weren’t looking for it though.

  “I don’t know, Phillip. I might get a better offer.”

  I wanted to burst into laughter at the look on Phillip’s face. It was almost a sad puppy mixed with utter shock and betrayal. As it was, I think I snorted trying to hold the laughter in, because Phillip focused his expression on me. It portrayed complete and utter betrayal. He thought me a traitor. Served him right for interfering with my life so much lately.

  “And whom would that offer come from?”

  “Helen, of course. She is a much more interesting conversationalist than either of you. I’m sorry Phillip, but you are very stuck on yourself. Though at least you talk. Nick doesn't even say a word. So, between the two of you there isn't much to choose from. So, how about it Helen? Want to be my date for tonight’s dinner?”

  She gave me a smile that would be a guaranteed good night if I were a guy. Instead of taking it personally, I smiled and nodded.

  “I would love to.”

  We stood, I hooked an arm through hers and we walked over to were the teacher stood taking a head count.

  (Nick)

  “What the hell is going on? Did the aliens beam us into an alternate reality or something?”

  “Of course not. I would notice such a disturbance. Why would you ask that, Nick?”

  I thought it obvious, but maybe Phillip knew why they were buddy-buddy girls when yesterday they only wanted to kill each other. “Helen and Missy. They are talking. And they both look to be enjoying it. Are they drugged?”

  He smiled.

  “Of course not. It’s just girl stuff.”

  “What is?”

  He rolled his eyes like I was too stupid to warrant an explanation. Like I should know exactly what he meant.

  “You haven’t dated much, have you?”

  I sighed. Ya think? “Duh. You already knew that.”

  He chuckled.

  “Yes, but it just became painfully obvious. Girls take work to understand. Now if you’ll excuse me, two women are over there without a man by their side and I would like to fix that.”

  He left without further explanation and I wondered if he knew what was going on. I was guessing that he was just as much in the dark as I was. He did walk over; they greeted him and let them join their little party.

  (Helen)

  “Everyone gather around. Tonight works much like today did, only I want best behavior. This is a classy restaurant with a lot of very important people. You will be representing the military tonight. So, we have a few rules.”

  Great. Can't wait to hear them. Missy did a ‘whoop-de-doo’ twirl with her finger. I guess she thought as much of their rules as I did.

  “First, I want everyone to have a buddy. Second, everyone is to be on his or her best behavior. No food fights. No sharing or swapping food. No yelling across the room. Sit with people you enjoy talking to and keep your voices down. You don’t have to whisper but this place is big and echoes, so no raised voices or arguing. Be respectful of the staff.

  “This is standard stuff kids so make sure you remember it. There will be one long table. Now, against my better judgment, your head teacher here has suggested that we give you a break. So, instead of having teachers spread out to keep you all in line, we will all be sitting at one side of the table and will only join you if your section of the table is having a problem following the rules.”

  Some cheering went up. They would still be watching, but for once we had the illusion of freedom. We could talk about whatever we wanted so long as we didn’t disturb anyone. Well, the people at the opposite side of the table. I didn’t envy those that were stuck right next to the teachers. Then again, there were enough teachers’ pets so it wouldn’t matter. I felt bad for the kids that had to sit next to the teachers’ pets.

  “Well ladies, you know what that means. Keep your hands to yourself.”

  I snorted. I wasn't even dignifying that with an answer. Missy also chose the high road and ignored Phillip. He was looking a little forlorn that his world-renowned charms were having no effect. Not on one but two ladies. Poor Phillip. It wasn't a good day to be him.

  “Are either of you going to invite Nick to our little party?”

  “You want him, you invite him.” I didn’t mean to snarl but it came out sounding that way. Missy raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged and she turned to Phillip.

  “So, which of us are you trying to send to hang all over Nick and why?”

  “Neither of you. You two just seem to have a habit of hanging on him.”

  This time she did a snort. Only it wasn't a snort, it was a girly chuckle that sounded adorable. I hadn’t known that was possible. He seemed to wonder what that was about. Phillip was smart enough to know when to let something go and this was one of those times. Besides, I doubt Missy would tell him if he asked.

  I wondered briefly how deep her attachment to Nick was. Did she really like him or was she using him like a stepping-stone? If she were I wouldn’t blame her. He didn’t see through her façade either. He had a perfect record. It’d look good on hers to be involved with him. As both of us agreed earlier, it’s still very much a man’s military. Smart people use whatever gifts God gave them, and God blessed Missy with good looks and great acting skills. It only made sense to use them.

  “All right. I’ll be the one to deal with him tonight.”

  Missy sighed like it was a chore, and some strange noise came out of my mouth. I think it might have actually been a giggle. She looked right at me and smiled.

  “You owe me though, girl. That boy is more than a little infatuated with you and he’s gonna bore me to tears by not speaking, or only talking about you.”

  “Thanks. I just don’t much feel like talking to him. Why don’t you send Phillip over? They can sit with us and talk about whatever and we can talk about whatever. If we need their opinion on something, they’ll be there for us to ask.”

  She rubbed her chin and thought about it.

  “I guess. I did ask you to be my date tonight.”

  I laughed. “Damn straight. I don’t want to have to rely on Phillip as a stand in because I got stood up.”

  She laughed.

  “All right. Phillip, go bond.”

  Phillip seemed really shocked. He wasn't sure what to do at first so he turned and walked over to where Nick stood. Missy and I both giggled, then continued our earlier conversation of me giving her pointers on how
to go up the ladder quickly.

  (Nick)

  Phillip turned and started to head my way. I almost physically wilted. I didn’t want to deal with him tonight. I didn’t have a buddy yet and needed to find one. I didn’t have time to deal with him.

  “What do you want now?”

  He looked almost confused. Confused and plotting.

  “I was told to come over and be your buddy for the night. The girls apparently have already agreed to be each other’s date, and are far more interested in talking to each other than either of us. Missy actually said she’d keep you company just to spare Helen. Helen suggested me as your buddy, to save Missy.”

  “All right, earlier I believe I said something about an alternate reality and you disagreed. Are you seeing my point yet?”

  “Well, they said we are allowed to sit with them as long as we don’t give our opinion unless asked for it.”

  I shrugged. “Great. So, we are to sit there, absolutely silent and not speak unless spoken to. No thanks, I already went through basic.”

  He shrugged. He hadn’t so he didn’t have an opinion on that.

  “Well, it shouldn’t matter to you anyway. You heard Missy; you don’t talk enough to say so, so it shouldn’t be so hard for you to keep quiet. Besides, they didn’t say we couldn't talk, they said we couldn't talk to them unless asked for an opinion.”

  “So basically, you’re my company all night. We will do what, male bonding? Don’t see that happening. My other option is sitting there silently and listening to whatever fucked up things they decide to discuss. No thanks. I think I’ll find Bill and John.”

  (Phillip)

  All of a sudden, I realized why Helen was putting me to this. If he sat with Bill and the boy started filling his ear with nonsense about Helen, true nonsense but nonsense nonetheless, we could be in trouble. So, I inwardly sighed and told myself it was a job. Jane would be paying me for helping Helen with this problem. It was just a job. I’d done worse things than talk to someone annoying for an hour or two.