Free to Love (The Colson Brothers Book 8)

by Reese Madison

  “I can’t. I should have killed him a long time ago. You’d never know.” I tried to walk around her but she got in my way.

  “You are not walking out on this conversation Mykela. Talk to me. Promise me you won’t go after him. I can’t lose you. Cord doesn’t know me. How will I sleep if you’re in prison??!!”

  “I know what I’m doing.” I ground out ready to go for a midnight hunt. Just the hunt might be enough. I’m about to boil over.

  “No you don’t. You’ve never killed somebody and had to bury the body. That’s not you.”

  I just looked at her.

  It took almost a full minute before she ran down the hall yelling for Cord.

  Cord Colson

  And here we go. I knew it would happen sooner or later, I was just hoping for later.

  Eve sat back in the corner of the couch with a bottle of wine and a whiskey tumbler. She doesn’t trust herself with a real wine glass after the three shots of whiskey I poured her a few minutes ago. “Start from the beginning.”

  Myk pointed to me. “He should start since I was too young to remember the first few years.”

  I pinched my nose and sat back in the reading chair with my scotch. The snow is falling faster now. I’d rather be outside in that mess than in here with this one.

  “Cord.” Myk urged.

  “I’m working on it wife, chill.” I scolded. She just wants this over with. Me too.

  “Just tell her everything so we don’t have to do this again.” She complained.

  “Sit down before I knock you down.” Her pacing is driving me nuts.

  She dropped to the floor by the fireplace.

  “Thank you.” I looked over at Eve. “Before I get started you need to brace yourself. This is a long twisted story. Keep in mind if I tell you the whole story, the absolute truth, you’ll never leave this mountain alive. I will never risk losing my wife to prison. You need to make damn sure you’re ready to hear this.” I insisted.

  “I already know she has the capacity to kill. She almost killed me.” She reminded me topping off her wine.

  I looked over at Myk who has her head down on her arms unable to connect with this moment.

  “Talk to me Cord. If worse comes to worse I’ll move out and down into the valley or some shit. I need to know.” She insisted.

  “She doesn’t leave this house.” Mykela chimed in with her deep ‘I’m at the end of my rope’ tone.

  “Easy wife.” I urged then got up and went to sit with Eve on the couch. “I was ten years old. A bunch of my buddies and I decided to go dumpster diving around town. We’d find all kinds of weird shit. I told you this part a while back. Remember?”

  She nodded setting the wine bottle on the floor and cupping the tumbler in both hands.

  “One day I found a newborn baby.” I thumbed over my shoulder. “Myk. I took her back to the club where Doc fixed her up. He said I’d saved her life and let me name her. I gave her what I thought was the female version of my middle name, Michael.”

  “You’re that much older than her?”

  “Yeah. The president of our club at the time was my father, Bull. His strong arm was a man named Machete. Machete and his wife Ruby had been trying to have kids for years. Bull let me name my girl then handed her off to them to be raised properly.” I took a break and a sip of my scotch to give that time to set in. She’s heard some of this already, so hopefully it won’t take long.

  “He was the serial killer.” She chimed in.

  I nodded. “Yes. He hid it well. He started showing Mykela things when she was three years old. By the time she was five she could carve a human body up in indiscernible pieces. I was in my teens and missing a lot of what was going on. She was still like my little sister so I checked up on her.” Another break. I don’t want to have to go over this twice.

  “When did you find out her father was showing her this stuff?”

  “I was seventeen when I thought something was off. In order to figure out what I started working my way into her life. Babysitting more. Staying for dinner more. It wasn’t too long before he started recruiting me to set up his victims. Within a year I was bait, he was the killer, and Myk was in charge of making the bodies disappear under her knife. By the time she was ten she knew more about the human body than most doctors.”

  “That explains a lot.” She looked down at her hands like she does when shit gets real.

  “It gets worse. We did things we can’t take back. Myk has issues. She enjoyed what she did. It made her feel powerful. In control for once. Everything else was out of her control. I was young and dumb. I got off on the power. I believed the lies when Machete said we were doing these things for the club. He told us we were punishing people who deserved it.”

  “But you weren’t.” She sat up looking pale.

  “No. Machete’s victims were mostly innocent.” Time for a sip of scotch.

  “She still craves the carnage?”

  “Unfortunately, yes. If I take her hunting that’s usually enough. This winter is going to be tough. I’ll take her hunting tomorrow because first snow always stirs up the prey. She’s not going to snap and hurt us, but she can get quite irritable.”

  She laughed completely without humor. “What’s new about that?”

  “Eve, this isn’t all her fault. I should have gotten her out sooner.”

  “Cord stop.” Myk finally chimed in.

  I kept going. “As soon as I realized how deep we were I scrambled for a way out. She was fourteen, I was twenty-four. The only reason the judge let us get married is because I paid him off. The club had no idea who and what Machete was. Not for another few years.”

  “Then what happened?” She asked topping off her wine again.

  “Without us he got sloppy. The club figured it out about two seconds before the feds. My half-brother Lars was told to take care of business for the club. Unfortunately we had a cop on the inside. Lars will get out in about a year from now.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “It gets better. Myk hated the club for killing her father. She went through a few phases of mourning. First she was sad that the only father she ever knew had been killed by people she trusted. Then she got angry because they should have told her, and let her do it. About a month after Machete was killed his wife put a bullet in her head. Myk lost the only mother she ever knew. I was a stupid kid. I didn’t show Mykela the kind of kindness she deserved. She was my kid, my little sister, my pain in the ass responsibility. And ultimately, my dark side that only she knew about. A dark side that without her never would have reared its ugly head.”

  Eve sat up and looked past me to Mykela. “Can you come here please?”

  “Not until Cord is done.” She replied still with her head down.

  Eve sat back. “What more can there be?”

  “Myk has slipped up over the years. I can assure you her victims deserved it, but that wasn’t her place. What her father engrained into her still lives, it just manifests itself differently. If someone were to threaten you, killing them is her first and only solution. That’s why I told you about her plan come spring. I’m going to need your help holding her back.” Admitting that was not easy. I’ve never needed help with my Mykela before.

  I told her about the trial and how Myk left me to find herself, and a life that didn’t involve murders and dead family members. I told her about the struggle of having a long distance relationship, and the murders that made me react like I did. She already knows about the part where Myk left me up here, so I glossed over that.

  At last I ran out of the long story and got up to top off my scotch. “There you have it Eve. Now you know why I can’t let you go, you know too much.”

  “I don’t want to go anywhere.” She got up and set both her wine glass and the bottle on the coffee table before heading over to kneel in front of Myk. “You hear me hooker? Look at me.”

  Surprisingly Myk looked up. Her eyes are red and tears are flowing like I’ve never seen. “I
’m sick Eve.”

  “I know. I’ve always known, but at least now I know why. I love you. I know your heart. I know your temper. I know how fiercely you want to protect what you care about.”

  “Not what. Who. You and Cord are all I’ve ever given a shit about.”

  “What about your mother? Did you love her?”

  Myk faltered putting me on edge. “Don’t.”

  “All I’m saying is, you’re hurt, but you’re not broken. I need you to love me enough to let Peter dig his own grave. Don’t put me through losing you. Cord is cute, but I can’t handle him without you.”

  “Hey! What does that mean??” I chimed in sitting down next to my wife on the floor. As usual I ‘m trying to lighten things up a little. There’s a lot of dark in this family, mostly due to me and my wife. Eve has her share, but she’s like me. She can pull out and away from it. Myk can’t.

  Eve gave me a mock dirty look. “You’re a horny shit. I can’t keep up with you alone.”

  Mykela snorted and exhaled before sitting back with me. “She’s right. You are hard to keep up with.”

  “Wait until we get snowed in and I really don’t have anything better to do than chase you two around this house.” I took Eve’s hand and pulled her over to sit on my lap facing Mykela. “Let’s drop this for tonight. Eve’s got a lot to absorb. I say we have movie night. You girls can pick the movie, but I get full boob access if the genre includes romantic or comedy.” Hey, a guy can try.

  8

  Cord Colson

  After last night I decided to give them some time alone and fell asleep on the couch. Eve needs time to process everything she now knows about Mykela. I’m surprised she didn’t freak out. Then again maybe she knew something really fucked up had to happened to Mykela for her to be the way she is. You don’t live with someone like that for four years and not suspect something is off.

  I poured a cup of coffee and thought about going to wake them up. Nah. Although it is getting a little lonely out here. This is the first time I can ever remember feeling lonely. Normally lonely is a good thing.

  I hear myself hiss then started around the kitchen bar to the hall. I stopped short when Eve became a sudden adorable obstacle. “Well hello. You okay?”

  She blinked up at me hugging my robe around her tightly. “Why didn’t you save her? Why’d you-“

  I put my finger to her lips stopping her. “I ask myself that every minute of every day. I fucked up. I thought we could become some sort of vigilante team. We were young, naïve, and stupid. I’m sorry Eve. You’re right. I should have done better. I should have saved her.”

  She looked down. “She told me she wished you’d left her for dead in that dumpster.”

  “I’m sorry.” I’ve heard my wife say this many times. Kills me every time.

  She looked up. “Why do we love her?”

  I smiled and pulled her into a hug. “If you ever figure it out, let me know.”

  She shook in my arms with her own laughter. “It’s her legs. Bitch has killer legs.”

  “If you two are done I need coffee.” Myk lumbered past us.

  I tucked Eve under my arm and turned us to follow her. “I think Eve is right.”

  “She usually is, but please feel free to enlighten me.” Myk found my favorite mug and helped herself.

  “You and I have had our first. Eve and I should have one too. What do you think?” I asked passing off my blonde wife to my brunette. I love both these women. If marrying Eve was legal I’d have married her yesterday. It’s not about the sex. My wife needs her, and I love the little goof. She’s beautiful inside and out. Any man would be stupid not to marry Eve.

  Myk nodded considering my offer. “Works for me.”

  Eve looked between us. “But, wait. Are you sure?? I mean, it’-“

  Myk caught her hand and pulled her over and into a firm kiss. When she let up their eyes met. “I’m not jealous of Cord. If anything, after everything I’ve put you through the last year, you deserve a good fuck.”

  Eve faltered. “I-You give me that.”

  “No baby. I don’t. I barely give you anything anymore, and yet you love me. I promise I’ll do better. Let Cord love you, he’s pretty fucking good at it.” She gave me a mock dirty look. “If memory serves.”

  I half rolled my eyes. “You have to be there.”

  “I will be, don’t worry.”

  After breakfast and morning chores around the house I had to drive down and run a few errands in the valley. Normally the girls go with me, but last night took it’s toll on them both so they opted for the day off. I did just what I absolutely had to do and hurried back to enjoy the day with them.

  I peeled out of my snowsuit and boots in the mudroom and walked into the living room to find my wife’s face buried between Eve’s legs on the couch. I missed the hat rack so my hat hit the floor. Fuck it.

  Eve’s eyes are closed and her head back to my kiss startled her. “Shit, you scared me.”

  “I see that.” I tapped Myk on the shoulder. “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

  She got up and took Eve’s hand. “Nice timing. I almost had her.”

  Eve giggled. “My brain is still too full. I wasn’t even close.”

  Myk deflated. “Sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault. I just can’t get the image of you and that deer, but with a human, out of my head. How can you ‘need’ that?” Eve asked climbing onto the bed pulling my shirt over her knees. She’s not ready for all this, not yet.

  I sat on the end of the bed while Myk started to pace. “It’s a fucked up sickness Eve.”

  “Don’t speak for me Cord.” Myk snapped and stopped to look at Eve. “I won’t lie and claim to understand it myself. My father raised me under the pretense of handling our own shit. If someone killed one of ours, it was our job to take them out in return. I had no idea the people he was killing had never done any wrong. It was all lies, but it didn’t take away everything I was raised to know and understand.”

  “I get that, but why do you still need the carnage? Aren’t you sick of it”” Do you really need the reminder of what you father did to you??” eve is so sweet, she just doesn’t get it.

  I watched as my legal wife looked down trying to find an answer. When she looked up at me I knew it was going to get ugly. “Yeah Cord. Why?”

  I took a deep breath as the trip down memory lane aged me a good ten years. I’m so tired of this. So tired. “Go to your room.” Meaning our room. She knows what I mean. She knows when I’ve had enough.

  “Cord-“ Myk started to argue.

  “NOW!!” I snapped pointing her in the right direction. I can’t take her right now. As much as I love this woman, she takes me to the brink.

  She nodded, glanced at a shocked Eve, then went to our room like a good wife. That sounds wrong, but I have to have checkpoints in place with my wife. She doesn’t do normal. Respect she gets in spades, from me and everyone else, but sometimes she needs a good spanking, verbally, and physically.

  Eve crashed into me for comfort.

  I wrapped my arms around her taking some for myself. Myk is not easy to handle, let alone, alone. I kissed the top of her soft blonde head. “It’ll be okay.”

  “No it won’t. She’ll never be right. She’ll never escape those demons.”

  I took a deep breath before replying. “She doesn’t like it any more than we do.”

  “Then why can’t she change? Why doesn’t she??” Her brown eyes blinked up at me for answers I don’t have.

  “I don’t know sweetheart, but do know she would if she could. I’ve been where she is. I get the turmoil.”

  “What saved you? Why can you be okay and she can’t??”

  “Nobody said I was. I found a way to channel my shit. Myk tries, but her issues run way deep. Deeper than I can touch. I fucked up. I made the mistake of pushing her away when I could have touched what drives her. Our love is strong, but not strong enough. I lost my chance to save her from hersel
f. Young and dumb. That’s my only excuse.”

  I sat on the couch and put her cute butt on my left thigh. “Look, if this is too much I’ll take you home. You can live in the Scottsdale house as long as you want. Neither of us will kick you to the curb.” I can see Myk out of the corner of my eye but don’t dare to look at her. I need an honest answer from Eve.

  Eve put her head on my shoulder. “I just want her to love me like I love her.”

  I can look at my wife without Eve seeing so I did. My jaw clenched as I found the words. “She loves you sweetheart. You wouldn’t be alive to complain about her if she didn’t.”

  Myk cracked. I saw it on her face.

  Eve sniffled. “Maybe if you’d been here all along I might believe you. Is it bad I’m not sure she’s capable of loving anyone?”

  Mykela walked over while I bit back my own tears. She knelt at Eve’s knees and put her ear on her left knee. “You two are all I care about. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I’m not even sure what love really means, but if it means having two people that put up with your bullshit when nobody else would, then I get it. I’ve loved Cord all my life”

  Mykela looked up until Eve looked down for her. “I’ve loved you since the first time I pushed you away and you laughed in my face.” That made Eve smile a little. “I need you both. Cord understands my dark side, hell he lived it. You make me want to live. You give me light. Without you I’m just waiting for Cord to give me my next fix, and tell me it’s okay.”

  “Really?” I asked knowing better.

  She sighed and looked at me, “I love you for entirely too many reasons. This is about Eve. Can your ego take a break for a minute?? It’s not like you don’t know I fucking love your big dumb ass.”

  Eve and I both laughed a little.

  She launched herself at Myk for a hug. I sat back keeping eye contact with the only woman I’ll hate as much as I love. She’s an asshole, but she’s my asshole.