Free to Love (The Colson Brothers Book 8)

by Reese Madison

  “No. You’ll sleep with me when I’m sure you realize I’m not interested in letting you go.” I’m saying too much.

  “I don’t do relationships Lars.”

  “Because you won’t sit still long enough. Yeah. Yeah. I know.”

  “That’s part of it. You don’t know me well enough to know if you want a relationship with me. Hell, you don’t even like me. You keep telling me I talk too much and to shut up.” She reminded me.

  “I tend to push away things that I like because everything I’ve ever liked has been taken away from me one way or another.” I shifted trying to figure out what to do with my left arm that has this urge to go behind her head and rest on her shoulder.

  She blinked a couple times, looked down at my thigh then hugged her pillow against my hip to settle down facing the TV. “Find an action movie. I hate that sappy shit.”

  My arm found it’s perfect resting space with no retaliation from my angel. She truly is my angel, even though she’s one tough annoying bitch. Without her giving me a hard time, and not taking my shit, I’d still be floundering around out there like an idiot. Buying hookers, drinking cheap beer, and not one fuck to give about my future.

  Now I want more. If I can’t get her to settle down I’m going to need to find a way to make a living like she does on the road. Being an ex-con will make that very difficult. Maybe I should get Joe to make me a fake ID. Just what I need, to get caught with that and end up right back in prison. No thanks.

  No shortcuts. Angela, my Angel, deserves better.

  4

  I’m going to kill him. If not on purpose then by accident.

  I punched him in the arm. “Knock it off.”

  He growled at me.

  I shook my head and rolled my eyes before focusing on the sales person. “Just ignore him. He’s barely potty trained.” I closed my eyes as he punished me with a fierce pinch to my ass. “Let’s try a size fourteen.” Lars needs new boots. His old ones were his stepfather’s from nine years ago, and basically dry-rotted in storage while he was in prison.

  The guy turned around looking happy to get away.

  I climbed on straddling Lars’s lap and cupped his stubbled face. “Stop it. You need new boots and some decent clothes in order to get a job. I can’t shop for this shit without you. Now behave yourself or I’ll make you sleep with Theo.”

  He tried to bite my hands. “Why does that dog have two names?”

  “Theo is the name the rescue center gave him. I tried changing it to Thor, but it just ended up being Theo inside and Thor outside. I was hoping people would be intimidated by him if he had a stronger name than Theo.” I explained before asking, “Now, are you going to behave or do I need to buy handcuffs and a muzzle?”

  He grabbed my ass and pulled me tight against him. “It’s going to cost you. Pay up or we leave now.” His threats are annoying, but he hasn’t had an empty one yet.

  I closed in to kiss him short and deep. Instead our second kiss sent us both into distraction. I dropped my hands to untuck his shirt when the sales guy cleared his throat.

  I sat back and took two breaths before I could move off his lap. I pointed to the boots the sales guy is holding. “Try those on. I’m going to find you some jeans.” I all but ran away from that scene. Jesus. What the hell just happened?? Why am I kissing him??

  I’ve kissed enough guys in my time to know this is different. He irritates me one second and makes me want to kiss him the next. I’ve resisted up until today. For some reason his attempts at flirting are starting to amuse me. Maybe because most of the flirting I get is so pathetic it’s everything I can do to sit through a drink with a guy.

  Lars is different. He doesn’t hold back, and he doesn’t use cookie cutter come-ons. I’m not even sure what he does could be referred to as flirting. He eyes me like a five course meal. Stalks me with his shirt off until I find an escape. And at least five times a day finds a way to either smack or grab my ass.

  I will say nothing he does is coming off crude. He’s straight up no bullshit physically and verbally making sure I know exactly what he wants and how he feels. I didn’t take his references to long term together until I had to add him to my cell phone account and he called me his wife to the clerk. I elbowed him in the gut and kicked him out of the store.

  Sigh. Men. Okay, just this one man. A man too big for his britches. Literally.

  Finding his size isn’t easy. We should be in a Tall & Wide store, not a boot and random jeans and leather store. “Fuck.” I gave up on the jeans and tried the leathers. Nope. He’s going to need custom shit. Which means we need an address. Which means settling down.

  The idea of settling down put me in a foul mood. I walked over and handed the sales guy my credit card, “He’s legal to sign. Don’t be too long.” then left via the front door to walk across the street to into an open field. I need time to think. I’m only two weeks into my four month sentence and I’m already losing my grip.

  I exhaled hard trying to focus. Okay. So. There’s a good chance we’ll end up sleeping together. I don’t sleep with men I like. The only reason I slept with Chris was because he was trainable. He was entertaining and provided extra funds and a cool kitchen for me to exercise my control issues.

  Lars is a different story. I actually like his big dumb ass. Actually, he’s not dumb. He’s a little naive when it comes to computers and social skills, but he’s pretty smart otherwise.

  I drove my hands into my hair in frustration. “Fuck.” The grass moved behind me. I know who it is. “Can’t you leave me alone for five minutes?”

  He stopped on my right. “Some old lady gave me the name of a website to order clothes in my size.”

  “I have a P.O. Box in Wisconsin.” I wiped at my eyes because for some stupid reason I’m crying.

  He took my hand in his and just held it for a full three minutes. It was a calming silence that literally cleared my head. All I knew was him. The feel of his skin. I counted calluses, although I don’t know from what. His grip wasn’t firm or loose. He just held it.

  I gave his hand a squeeze as if to say ‘thank you’ and pulled away. “Come on. I have an idea.”

  “I meant what I said a couple days ago. You really need to stop with the silent treatments.”

  “I thought you wanted me to shut up.” I haven’t really meant to give him the silent treatment the last couple days. It’s just been easier than confronting whatever the hell is going on between us.

  “Only when you’re being a bitch.”

  I stopped, spun, and almost punched him in the face. The only reason I caught myself is because his eyes are all wrong. Normally he looks annoyed or iced over, kind of like me I suppose. Not this time. There’s a lost man behind those eyes. I know that feeling all too well.

  I closed my eyes against the all too familiar pain and turned to continue back to where we parked our bikes. “It gets easier.” I half assured him not really feeling my words. It doesn’t get any easier, you just learn to live life around it.

  “You planning to die alone on the road?” His question hit a chord. Was I? Yes. Did I mind until he said it out loud like that? No.

  “Hadn’t gotten that far. Why? You planning to die with a bed full of hookers?” I get snarky when I’m defensive. Okay fine, I’m a bitch. It keeps people away. Far away. Where I like them.

  “No. I plan to die with your hands around my neck trying to choke me to death for being a dick.”

  That made me laugh unexpectedly. Suddenly all my inner turmoil melted into the background. I shook my head and turned back to our bikes. “Careful, that could be sooner than later.”

  “If it gets you back on my lap I’m game.”

  I snorted and let him have the win on that one. Time to finish this shopping spree and get back to Theo. We’ll both be ready for a good run after a day of shopping and Lars’s antics.

  The man is a menace. There’s really no other word for his behavior the last couple weeks. Lily had some good s
uggestions as to where to settle down and let Lars apply for work, but he’s being a pain in the ass. Not that that is unusual, but it’s starting to get on my nerves.

  He’s also got the most wandering hands of any man I’ve ever known. I can’t get within arm’s reach of him without him touching me one way or another. At first it irritated me. I pulled away and scowled at him. Two weeks later I pout when he’s preoccupied and doesn’t reach for me. I know, it’s stupid, but I can’t help it.

  Right now we’re setting up camp in yet another small town outside of Colorado Springs. He’s unloading our bikes so we can go for a much-needed ride when I’m done setting up and securing the RV. Lily can’t be stolen so I don’t need to do much. If someone touches her she doesn’t like she electrocutes them. I had to scold her the last time she did it a week ago. The touch was in admiration, but like me, and evidently her creator, she doesn’t like to be touched.

  Unless it’s by the right person. I want to meet her creator Laney. Although she says she has two parents, Joe and Laney. I’m pretty sure she takes after her mother. Then again Joe was no picnic either.

  My mind wandered back to this morning when I woke up with my face smashed up against his side. His arm was draped along my backside with his hand cupping my hip. It was almost nice feeling safe in a man’s arms. I don’t usually feel safe anywhere. Lars would take a bullet for me. I haven’t felt that way since I was active duty.

  Movement out of the corner of my eye snapped me back to reality.

  Lars offered me a beer. “Bad news babe.”

  I took the beer and asked, “I thought we were riding?”

  “We were until I just snapped your throttle. I told you to replace it weeks ago. You only have yourself to blame.” He took a draw from his bottle.

  I took one from mine before the idea struck. “Fine. Ride me to the shop to buy a new one.”

  “I don’t ride bitches. My seat won’t allow for it for one. Not only that but you need to order the part. I called the local shop. He’s holding the order for you to call with a credit card number, or I can run up with cash. Your call.”

  I cringed. “Fuck. I’ll call. Did you write down the number?”

  “I used your phone, just call the last number dialed. Speaking of phones, I’m going to need to get one. The problem is I don’t have a credit card. I don’t want one either. Can you hook me up?”

  I raised my eyebrow at him. “You want me to add you to my account?”

  He shrugged. “Or get another one. I don’t how that shit works these days, but when I called they said I needed a credit card or I’d have to go with a cash pre-pay that costs a lot more.”

  “If I add you to my account that ties us to each other for at least a year, maybe two. Maybe you should just get a credit card.” I suggested walking over to inspect the damage. “Geezus Lars. What did you do?? It looks like you ripped it off on purpose.” I laughed because he might be a dick but he’d never do that.

  “You bent over by the wheel well over there and I almost fell off the damn thing. If anyone is to blame it’s you.” He backhanded my ass on his way to the picnic table.

  I joined him and turned my laptop to see what he’s been doing. What I saw made me spit beer on the screen and keyboard. “Shit!! Lars!! What the hell is this??” I started frantically wiping at the keyboard with my shirt.

  “You need new clothes. You dress like a man.” He complained.

  “I am NOT wearing that!!” I pointed to the screen where he’s got a fancy little red lace contraption filling the screen.

  “You should.” He clicked the mouse and brought up another tab in the browser. “This better?”

  I pulled the computer closer and clicked through the items he’s put in my Amazon basket. “Actually these aren’t too bad.” I unclicked a few I’d never wear and hit order on the rest. “There. Good thing I set up the P.O. Box on our way into town.” I shoved the computer back to him. “Why don’t you want a credit card?”

  “I don’t like the idea of being that traceable. How are you getting away with having one?” He knows I avoid cops at all costs, he doesn’t know the details as to why. In fact he just thinks they want me for escaping one of their inescapable prisons. That’s only partially true.

  “It’s under a fake name. They all are.” The fake credit cards aren’t worth a shit for hiding me. The government knows exactly where I am at all times. We have a certain agreement. I stay off the map and keep my mouth shut, they pretend they can’t find me. It also helps I fuck the agent in charge of rounding me up when he does come sniffing around. Hopefully he won’t for a few months. I’d really hate to have to explain that one to Lars.

  “There’s something you’re not telling me.” He noted suspiciously.

  “There’s a lot I’m not telling you simply because it’s none of your business.” I looked him over. “You’re going to need a cell phone number to give your employer. We’ll go into town and take care of it tomorrow. You’re going to pay the service up front for two years out of your cash. I’m not getting stuck with your bills.”

  He took a deep breath and shook his head. “You just don’t quit do you?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but if you mean I don’t let myself get fucked over, then no, I don’t.” He reached for me but I’m not in the mood. “Quit.” I got up and went inside. Enough with this shit. He’s tunneling his way into my life and I don’t like it.

  As soon as I opened the fridge door Lily said, “I have an untraceable phone Angela.”

  “You do? Where?”

  “Behind the silverware in the drawer. I can also have Joe set Lars up with a credit card.” She offered.

  “No credit card. I think that’s more principle than paranoia.” I opened the drawer and removed the iPhone. “Thank you Lily.”

  “The owner of the company Lars will be applying to tomorrow is a huge college football fan. It would behoove him to brush up.” She suggested.

  “Thanks Lily, but I think I can handle my own interview.” Lars’s voice came from behind me.

  I turned around as I added my number to his new phone. “Lily has a present for you. She says it’s untraceable. I’m not sure how long it will last or what the phone number is, but here you go.” I offered it to him.

  It dinged with a number as Lily informed us. “That’s the number.”

  Lars took the phone. “Nice. Thank you Lily.” He looked up like she lives in the roof.

  I laughed. “Her CPU is in the dashboard.”

  Lars messed up my already unruly hair. “Shut up.”

  “Go with me.” He insisted for the tenth time this morning.

  “No. You’re a big boy, handle it on your own.”

  He hooked his finger under my belt and pulled me in to give me a close-up of those damn striking light blue eyes. “You’re being paid a shit ton of money to babysit me. Earn it. Go with me.”

  I sighed harshly. “Fine. If anyone asks we’re going to lunch after and that’s the only reason I’m tagging along. You interview alone.” He fixed my bike and gave it a tune-up yesterday so I’m feeling extra compliant.

  He closed in and sniffed my neck. “I’ll make it up to you.”

  “Stop flirting and get on your bike.”

  He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I call you Angel for a reason.”

  “Yeah, you’re an idiot and keep forgetting my real name. Stop this shit and let’s go. You’re buying me lunch if you get the job.”

  “You’re buying if I don’t.” He countered backing up.

  “I won’t support your big ass, you eat too much. Worse comes to worse I take you back to Slider and he finds you work.” I mounted my bike against my will for the first time. I really don’t want to sit by and watch him blow this interview.

  He buckled suddenly and seemed to be praying by his bike.

  Men don’t do this.

  I set mine back on its stand and went to him. “I’m sorry. That was cold.”

&
nbsp; “Your right. If I fuck this up too many times I’ll end up back under the club’s mercy.”

  “Is that what you think? Lars. Look at me.” It took a second but he did. “You are at no one’s mercy anymore. You’re out. You carve your own path. Either do it, or don’t, but you choose your path, not Slider, not me, not some chump you need to kiss ass to for a paycheck. Do you understand me??” Why am I so desperate to make him understand?

  His jaw clenched. “I’m going to get this job to prove to my angel I can take care of her.”

  I blinked as his words registered. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I need you to take care of yourself. There’s a big difference. Can you take care of yourself?”

  “Get on your bike.” He stood effectively pushing me away.

  I stepped back as I read his face. He’s too much like me. One step forward, two steps back. He’s lucky I get it, or I wouldn’t have followed him to his interview.

  Unfortunately the boss was more interested in me than Lars.

  The normally fuckable guy hit a nerve all too quickly by asking if we’re together before asking about Lars’ credentials. I got up and walked out leaving Lars to deal with this bullshit.

  See? This is why I don’t have a real job. Well, that and the government is sort of after me. Ugh. I need a nap. I rode to a scenic overlook and kicked back with a cinnamon bun from that famous place. It needs French vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce, but for now it will do. When I get mad or sad I get a wicked sweet tooth.

  Half an hour later he pulled up and joined me on my rock. “What happened back there?”

  “People suck. Did you get the job?”

  “I start Monday. He wants to meet for dinner and drinks tonight at the local hangout. I told him I’d have to ask you, but I’d be there. He’s got a hard on for you Angela. I don’t like it, but I need the work.”

  “Yeah I know.” I watched as he opened the lid of now empty cinnamon bun box.