Free to Love (The Colson Brothers Book 8)

by Reese Madison

“Where’s mine?”

  “In town.” I stomped on the box then got up and chucked it in the trash on my way back to my bike.

  He stepped between me and my Sportster and cupped my face. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “I told you I didn’t want to go with you today. Then that dickhead ends up more interested in me than in interviewing you. This is why small towns suck. First new pussy that walks through the door becomes a dick magnet.” I tried to twist out of his grip but he closed in capturing my attention with those damn blue eyes.

  “Enough. Of course he’s interested in you. What guy wouldn’t be? Small town or not Angel, you’re beautiful. You’re an ass, but you’re a damn pretty one. Most women need makeup and fancy clothes to pull of what you have naturally. If anything you should feel sorry for them because the only man that will ever touch you again is right here in front of your face.” His mouth was on mine before I could punch him in the nose for being a lying moron.

  He gathered me up in his arms and kissed me stupid. I hate that I find comfort in his affection. Normally I’m just going through the motions to get to the good stuff, which is rarely all that good. Lars hasn’t been laid in over a month. He’d probably be quick the first time, but maybe the second-

  I shoved him away. “Don’t.” Don’t what? I don’t know. I ran my hand through my hair as I walked back to my rock.

  “I know you feel it too Angel.” He said from behind me.

  “I don’t feel anything but the need to get laid.” I lied.

  “You want him?”

  I shook my head, “No you idiot.”

  “What do you want Angela? I can’t read your fucking mind.”

  “I know I don’t want this to get weirder than it already is. Sleeping with you is going to fuck everything up. You want what I can’t give you.”

  “How do you know what I want?” He stepped around almost in front of me.

  “You hint at it all the time. I pretend I don’t hear it but I do. You need to find somebody that will stick around when you settle down. I won’t.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Because they’ll find you?”

  “That too.” I turned to go back to my bike to try and leave again.

  He caught my arm and pulled me harshly back under his nose. “What are you really afraid of here?”

  “I’m not afraid of anything.” Why am I lying?

  “Bullshit. Lie to me again so I have an excuse to spank you. Please.”

  “You ever try that again, and I’ll tazer you in your sleep.” I doubt I’d be able to follow through with that threat, but it sounded good.

  “Are you afraid you might actually like me?” He asked harshly.

  I laughed a little too hard. “No. I don’t think you want me to like you. You always tell me to shut up. Why would you want someone you don’t like to like you? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  He blinked a couple times before admitting, “I don’t like that I like the sound of your voice. I don’t like that it’s comforting because I know you’re going to leave me one day.”

  “Now you know why I’m pushing you away. Unless you want to live a life on the road bouncing from one place and one job to another, I’m not the one for you. I won’t change. I can’t. I tried it once and ran out in the middle of the night due to an anxiety attack. I really liked him too. I could more than like you, which means a lot of pain when I bolt.” I explained.

  He took a deep breath and let go of it and my arm. “Then we live on the road. I’ll work here for a few weeks until you’re ready to move, then we move. Deal?”

  “No. No deal. It’s hard enough to find work for you as it is. If you find a decent job you should keep it. I promised Slider I’d keep my eye on you for four months. We have three left. Let’s just do this and move on with our lives.”

  “And if I don’t want to?”

  “What you want has nothing to with it. This is my life. I choose who stays and who doesn’t so far nobody has any staying power, and that’s just fine with me.”

  I went for a long ride with him in my mirrors. He kept a respectable distance, but it still annoyed me. I want to be alone.

  I turned around and headed back to camp. Time for a drink. Maybe I can get him to leave me alone with a bottle of whiskey by the fire. Fuck. I hate this.

  5

  Women.

  I don’t know much about them as most of my adult years were spent in prison with a bunch of pissed off men. I know how to make a woman grab the sheets and come for me. That’s not a problem.

  This woman however, is a problem. I have no doubt I could make her scream in my bed, but I’m not sure if I get her to drop her damn guard. Ever since I said I’d join her on her road trip through life she’s shut me out completely.

  It’s been three days and I still keep getting the cold shoulder and silent treatment. She makes sure I get to work on time by waking me up if I sleep through the alarm. She doesn’t have to worry about me wandering off on the way home. I’m all too eager to get back and annoy her out of this funk, or whatever you want to call it, she’s in.

  Tonight she’s pacing and cussing into her phone by the campfire. I stopped to listen.

  “Why the fuck would you ask me this now?? It’s been how many years?! Fuck you sis! Fuck you!!” She held the phone at arms distance and flicked it off. That’s when she noticed I was watching and flicked me off too before putting the phone back to her ear. “You never wanted or needed me before and now I get this?? Give me one good rea-“

  I stole her phone interrupting her and put it to my ear. “Who is this?”

  “Who the fuck is this??” A woman asked me back.

  “Just some asshole hitching a ride with a woman you’re pissing off.”

  “Lars.” Angela raked her hand through her hair. “Leave it alone.” She looks tired. Much more tired than usual.

  I turned away taking the phone with me. “What do you want?”

  “Put my sister back on the phone.”

  “Tell me what you want and I’ll consider it.” I offered.

  She huffed and puffed as I held the phone out of my angel’s reach. “We have to bury our dad. She won’t come help.”

  I put the phone back to my ear. “Text your sister the address, date, time, and anything else she needs. I’ll see she gets there.” I hung up before she could finish thanking me.

  Angel crossed her arms over her perfect breasts and glared at me. “You have no right.”

  I tossed her the phone making her fumble old school to catch it. “Yeah, but you’ll thank me later. Don’t’ delete the message, you know this is the right thing to do. You just couldn’t admit it to your sister.”

  She threw the phone at my head so hard and fast it hurt on impact. “Fuck you!!”

  I rubbed my sore head wondering if I’ll ever be able to tame these tantrums of hers before laughing and finding her phone on the ground. I pocketed it to keep for later. When I looked up as she’d locked me out of the RV making me laugh again. “I think she’s even sexier when she’s mad.” I shook my head. “Women.”

  Angela

  Men.

  Lars needs to mind his own business already. My sister hates me, always has. Of course she calls when she needs something. Our father skipped out on us when we were still in diapers. She found him years later and has had some kind of bond with him ever since that I’ll never understand.

  The lock popped and in ducked the big idiot who stuck his nose in my personal business. He set my phone on the counter and looked at me. “We’re going to help your sister.”

  “Butt out Lars.” I flopped down on the couch and picked up the remote to find a distraction.

  He snatched the remote and chucked it into the chair. “Stand up.”

  “Fuck you.”

  It took him a good few minutes, and he took a good couple punches, but his size managed to overcome me. He tore my jeans baring my ass for a rather harsh spanking. Five strikes later he shoved me bac
k down on the couch. “Stop throwing shit at me.”

  I cringed fixing my jeans. “I hate you.”

  He grabbed my phone to read the messages coming in from my sister. “Be ready to roll in the morning. Lily?”

  “Lars.” She replied. I’d almost forgotten she was here.

  “Can you see these?” He asked holding the phone up.

  “Of course.” She sounds bored giving me a little satisfaction for some reason.

  “Plug the address into the GPS, and make sure you don’t let my little angel here out of your sight. Lose her and I’ll dismantle you slowly and painfully.” His threat made me smile.

  “You realize she can’t feel pain right?” I asked trying not to laugh but failed in the end.

  He shot me a dirty look. “How’s your ass feeling right about now Angel?”

  I felt my head tilt. “Why do you keep calling me that?” He does it more when he’s flustered.

  He half barked and half hissed at me before storming out.

  I laughed harder than I have in a long time. I should be pissed at him for the spanking but for some reason I liked the pain. For the first time my brain was a clean slate. I always wondered why some women like a good spanking. Now I get it.

  I also get that Lars is off his nut. He has no right to butt into my family life, or lack thereof. I checked my phone while going outside to find my grumpy old man. Great. Now I’m calling him my old man like I’m a biker or something.

  In a way I guess I am. I ride. I live on the road like a nomad. I just thought of myself as a rider more than a biker. For some reason I think of bikers as riders who travel in groups. No real reason.

  Lars took the axe to a hunk of wood and split the fucker so hard it sent two pieces sailing out in either direction.

  One of them landed an inch from my feet. I raised an eyebrow at him. “Problem?”

  “Yeah, I need to get laid and you’re being a bitch.” He set up another log and landed the axe fiercely through the wood.

  This time I had to jump back to avoid getting hit. “If you injure me you’ll never get laid.” I laughed and tossed both logs onto the fire.

  “At least you’re fucking speaking to me again.” He split another hunk of wood with even more enthusiasm.

  I took my phone and aimed to take a picture, or five. He’d shed his shirt so he looks like big bald lumberjack, minus the full long beard. He’s let the facial hair grow in enough to annoy me with the scratchy stubble when he pretends to roll over in his sleep and use my neck as a pillow.

  He caught on and dropped the axe to come after me.

  I ran like hell as they uploaded to my Facebook page.

  His stride is longer than mine so the chase was short. The fall to my back on the ground was even shorter. The kiss that followed lasted longer than I’ll admit. Shit he’s good at this kissing stuff.

  When he let me up for air his weight shifted letting me know how firm his agony is. When he pressed it against my thigh and went into a full cobra letting out a growl that rivaled a bear’s I bit my lip. Evidently he’s a little more pent up than I am.

  He rolled off and fell to his back on my right. “Shit.”

  I laughed silently. “I’m not washing those.”

  He backhanded my hip lightly then grabbed my hand to hold firmly in his. “Shut up.”

  The giggles took over.

  “You tell anyone about that and I’ll torture you slowly.” He pulled me up until I had no choice but to sit on his lower stomach. “We need to talk.”

  “I thought you hated talking.”

  “Don’t deflect.” He scolded. “It’ll take us a full day to get to where we need to bury your dad. After that we can go wherever you want, or come back here.” He knows I hate it here so I had to appreciate the offer. “We need to get one thing straight before all this starts. You’re mine and mine alone. You have my loyalty, and I think you know that. I expect yours in return. No kissing ex-boyfriends. Got it?”

  “You really want to live on the road with me?”

  “Yes. We’re going to have to take Joe’s rig back to him eventually. In the meantime we’ll save up for a bigger one I won’t hit my fucking head in all the time. I’ll pay for half of everything. All I ask is that you do the shopping. Like I said, I’ll cook and clean.”

  “You’re not doing my laundry, that’s just creepy. I’ll do the laundry, you do the windows and wash whatever RV we’re in at least once a month, more if it needs it.”

  “Deal. We’ll figure it out as we go, but I won’t let you go. I know I’m an asshole, but you’re not much better. Opposites don’t attract in our case. We’re the only people who can ever understand us and how we are. If that makes any sense.”

  I nodded measuring his palms against mine. “We’re both fucked up in ways only someone as equally fucked up can understand. Yeah yeah, I get it. Do you really want to commit yourself to one woman after being locked up for nine years?”

  “I’m already yours babe, there’s nothing I can, or want, to do about that. I was toast the first time I got a look at you. Then you opened your smart filthy mouth and I knew I was in trouble. I pushed you away. You pushed me away. Can we stop that now?”

  I sighed giving it serious thought for a few seconds. “Old habits are hard to break.”

  “I know all about old habits. Now get off me so I can go put these damn jeans in the washer.” He grabbed my ass and stood lifting me with him. “Ow.” My ass is still sore from the spanking. I bit my lip to keep from laughing as he half hobbled back to the RV.

  The only problem with having a peace treaty with Lars Colson is his insistence that our new agreement means he gets full access to boobs at all times. I’m not sure where he came up with this, but the tiny part of me that feels sorry for his boob-less nine years let him get away with it. The problem with letting him get away with it is he’s already turning that inch into a mile.

  To be honest it’s nice to have someone want to touch me for more than just his pleasure. Lars kisses my neck when he touches me. He never goes any further, but that won’t last long, for either of us. He’s making me hornier than a rabbit.

  We just parked about three miles from my father’s house in an open Walmart parking lot, yes you can do that, when he started in yet again.

  I grabbed his hands and walked him to the back. “You’re like an addict.”

  “I like touching you. Nine years of no female flesh will do that to a guy. Are you going to see your sister tonight or tomorrow morning?” He let go and opened the fridge knowing beer and wine first after a long day of driving. Even if I do ride to my sister’s tonight one drink won’t hurt.

  “Tomorrow. Why?”

  “So I know what we’re doing. Tell me about your dad.” He set the bottle of wine I opened last night on the counter along with his beer.

  “Not much to tell. He knocked my mother up one too many times and jumped ship. My sister forgave him, I didn’t.”

  “Is it just you and your sister?” He asked as I held the glass for him to fill with wine.

  “No. I have three brothers. None of them are speaking to me anymore than my sister is. Was. I’m not even sure what she wants except money to bury the old fuck.” I took a couple good sips from the glass I just poured and closed my eyes. “Oh that’s good.”

  He twisted the top off his beer. “The next few days will probably suck. I’ll have your back the whole time no matter what, but I think we should have some fun tonight.”

  “I bet you do.”

  “That too, but you’re not quite ready yet. I was thinking more along the lines of you letting me take you out for a real date. Dinner. Movie. Whatever. I haven’t done this in forever so help me out here.” He begged.

  “Now you’re freaking me out. First of all, I hate dating. I hate restaurants full of people and I loathe movie theaters.” He looked away so I reached out and touched his chin so he’d look back at me. “Let’s pick a movie, grill steaks and eat popcorn for dessert in th
e comfort of our own home. That’s what I call a real date.”

  He smiled for the first time. It was a magnificent smile that reached all the way to his ears and revealed perfect teeth. “This is why I’m going to marry you.”

  “You can’t marry me, not legally anyway.” I pushed up on my toes and stole a kiss before slipping around him to the bedroom. “Start dinner, I’m going to clean up and get comfortable.”

  “Need some help?”

  “Lars.” I scolded.

  “Can’t hurt to ask.” I swear he sounds almost happy for once.

  6

  I’ve been to one funeral in my time, and it was a guy I barely knew. I went because he was a member and that’s what you do. You ride and respect a fallen brother.

  This funeral is a mess. Angela’s brothers want an open casket. Angela’s sister wants it closed. Angela wants to hide in the RV until it’s time to cut a check. The only thing they agree on is a cremation after the viewing because nobody can afford a real plot for the guy.

  All this shit made me think. What if I die? What would the club do? Have a ride and cremate me. I’m fine with that, but who would take my ashes? Would I sit on the shelf of the bar like some kind of martyr? Fuck that.

  After some heated words between her and her siblings I took her hand and pulled her outside to the parking lot of the funeral home.

  She immediately punched the window out of her sister’s car. Have you ever punched a door window? They’re hard as fuck to break. Windshields pop easy, the side windows do not. Angel broke her hand.

  I inspected it carefully as her adrenaline kicked in. “You need a hospital.”

  “It has to be a walk-in clinic. Fuck.” She walked over to Lily and stepped up and inside. “Lily?”

  “Here.”

  “Find me a doctor. I broke my hand.” She turned on the water to rinse the wound and pluck glass.

  I took over. “Easy now.”

  “You don’t know the whole story. She’s not even his kid. Mom cheated on dad all the time because he was never around when she needed him. Only me and my brother Brian are really his kids.”