First Sight_Never Give Up, Never Give In

by Mia Jones

  Jessica’s eyes widened in shock before they filled with tears. She shook her head, unable to speak. Was it possible he did love her as much as she loved him? That he was telling the truth at the cabin about how he felt? He’d never told her how he felt before or talked about the future, besides her moving in with him a few times, and she always thought he was joking.

  Jessica looked at Angie confused. Angie almost sounded like she wanted Garrett in Jessica’s life when all along she’d been against them. Jessica opened her mouth to ask.

  Angie interrupted her thoughts. “Yeah, he did. I don’t know where you got the idea that it would end. I’ve never seen a man more in love with a woman than him. If you’d see him and talk to him about this...”

  “You don’t know for sure he loves me. He’s never said anything about love until yesterday and never about a future for us.”

  “If that man isn’t in love with you, I’ll eat my shoe.”

  Her lips tried to smile but froze. “He found me.”

  Angie was surprised. “He did? What happened?” Garrett hadn’t told her that. He just said she was at work and needed her.

  “He ended up agreeing with me.” A sob caught in her throat.

  Angie looked dumbfounded. “What was said exactly?”

  Jessica continued to tear apart the tissues and stare at the sofa table. “I just made him see our differences. I talked about the money and lifestyles.”

  “What did he say?”

  Jessica sniffed. “He agreed with me...”

  No way. “And? All of it, Jess.” Angie asked.

  “He said he didn’t want to be with a person that didn’t trust him or have faith in him.” The last words were said in a broken sob.

  “Oh, Jess.” Angie held her as her body was racked with sobs. “That’s not agreeing with you about your differences. That was him wanting your trust.”

  Angie waited until Jessica calmed before she left the room and came right back with a cold bottle of water. “Drink this. You’re going to get dehydrated if you aren’t already.”

  She drank half the bottle. The cold water made her throat feel better and put something in her stomach so it didn’t feel so hollow.

  Both women sat silently. Jessica picked at the label on the water bottle drowning in despair, and Angie waited in concern for her friend.

  “Are you feeling better?”

  “No. I don’t think I’ll ever feel better.” Jessica wiped her eyes and blew her nose on a tissue Angie handed her.

  “Go home, Jess. Get some rest.”

  She nodded. “I will. It’s not my turn to close, so I’ll leave early.”

  Angie watched her scrape the label off the water bottle and drop the pieces on the table in front of the sofa. “I want you to rethink your decision. I think Garrett’s the perfect guy for you.”

  Jessica jerked her head around. “Whaaaat?”

  Angie gripped one of Jessica’s hands. “We have always been honest with each other, right?”

  Jess nodded hesitantly, warily.

  “I think you made the wrong decision.”

  “Why? Remember you told me you didn’t trust him, and as far as I know you, haven’t changed your mind,” she whispered as tears started to clog her throat again.

  “I was wrong. I should have said something earlier. I’m sorry you didn’t know how my feelings for him changed until now. I’ve seen you two together. I’ve never seen either of you that happy. I also know it’s the right decision to have a relationship with Garrett because you’re not a quitter, and you’re stronger than you think.” Angie picked up her friend’s hands and squeezed. “Look how far you’ve come, Jess. Did you ever, at any time, want to give up or take the easy road because you might get hurt?”

  Jessica looked at their hands. She let parts of her past slide through her mind. All she went through as a child, how she took care of herself, made sure she graduated. She had no adults to help her. All the hard work she had to do to get where she was now.

  The suffocating sensation that she’d felt since she left him started to loosen enough for her to breathe freely. Angie was right. She’d come from extreme poverty and abuse, then abandonment, and made a wonderful life for herself. Not once did she give up or give in. She needed some time to think. She was so tired, she couldn’t seem to keep a single thought for longer than a second. She needed to eat and get sleep. Then maybe she could think straight.

  “Go home, Jess. Sleep on it, and call me in the morning if you need to talk.” Angie pulled her into one more hug.

  Chapter 23

  Jessica cried herself to sleep again that night and awoke with a headache and stomach cramps. Every hour away from Garrett seemed to get worse as they passed. The only time the band of pain around her chest would loosen was when she thought of taking a chance with him and having the guts to fight for a future with him.

  She had survived so much in her lifetime. She’d survive losing him if she had to, but she didn’t have to give him up right now if she didn’t have to. Garrett was right, she let her insecurities take over and she’d giving up on them. She’d never done that before.

  Strength. It was going to take a lot of it to go to him and beg forgiveness for her stupidity. Jessica sat up on the edge of her bed and stared at a picture of the ocean across her small bedroom. The picture had always had a soothing effect on her. Not now. All her thoughts were trying to decide what exactly she could say to make up for the pain she caused him.

  Jessica stood and moved, stiff and painfully, into the bathroom off her bedroom and grimaced at the reflection she saw in the mirror over the bathroom sink. Walking dead? Yeah, that was a good description of the face she saw in the mirror.

  She stepped into the hot shower and let it cascade down her body, loosening the tight muscles in her neck and back, hoping it would lessen the headache. She was afraid the only thing that would help with her stomach was Garrett and food. God, she missed the heat of his body, his weight, and the comfort beside her in bed at night. When the water started to cool, she washed quickly. She dried herself before she squeezed as much moisture out of her hair as she could.

  Before she talked herself out of it, she pulled on the black lacy underwear Garrett had bought her before she looked through her meager closet for something that didn’t look like something an old woman would wear. She pulled on one of her new pair of jeans and a red blouse that Garrett always liked on her. Both garments hung loosely on her small frame, telling her she’d lost weight.

  She looked at herself critically in the mirror. She still looked pale and her eyes puffy, but it would have to do, she thought. Hopefully, by the end of the day, she’d have more color and some of the swelling would go down, if she could keep from crying.

  Jessica left her hair to hang down her back and dry naturally in the mass of curls she’d always had to deal with. She added a little makeup to the sunscreen she used. She dusted eye shadow across her lids and mascara. She didn’t usually like wear a lot of makeup, but she had to do something to hide the effects the past few days had caused her. She decided to take what little makeup she had with her, so she could touch up her face before she saw Garrett.

  She tried to make herself eat a piece of toast with her coffee, but she gave up trying to eat it when it kept getting stuck in her throat.

  Jessica walked into the shelter earlier than normal, wanting to get everything done she needed so she could leave early that day. All day, she contemplated what she was going to say to him and couldn’t decide on any one thing. She hoped when she saw him, the words would suddenly come to her.

  It was close to five before Jessica was able to leave. She worried she would miss him and have to try his condo or his house which was farther away. She was worried about her lack of energy and how shaky she continued to be. She knew a lot of it was nerves, but the majority was lack of food and decent sleep. She’d tried eating crackers on and off all day and was pleased when she actually got a few down.

  Final
ly, she pulled into Garrett’s five-story building and sat, staring out the windshield at the dark cool grey stone of his building. His building. God, would she ever get used to his wealth? She decided she was going to have to, if she wanted to be with him.

  Jessica fixed what little makeup she wore and applied a coat of lip gloss. She squeezed her cheeks to put some color into them. She took several deep breaths before pulling herself out of her car and made her way inside the building before she chickened out.

  The main receptionist knew her from the times she had visited Garrett before, so she just smiled and waved as Jessica past to go to the elevators.

  When she finally landed on the top floor, she walked directly to his personal assistant’s desk. She didn’t take the time, this time, to appreciate at the beautiful woodwork and gray, thick plush carpeting he’d used to decorate his private office in. “Hello, is it possible to see Garrett please?” Her voice was a little breathless. She tried to smile but failed. She liked the woman. She’d met the older secretary, Dottie, a few times, and she’d always been nice to Jessica.

  Dottie’s smile slipped, and she narrowed her eyes when she got a good look at Jessica. “Good heavens. That explains his attitude the last couple days. You two must have had a fight.” She held up her hands when Jessica opened her mouth. “No, don’t tell me. Let me go in before you try, okay, hun?”

  Jessica just nodded and swallowed back the tears burning her eyes. She watched Dottie knock on Garrett’s door and walk in before closing the door. She concentrated on breathing and not what was being said through the heavy wooden door.

  “Sir, there is someone here to see you,” Dottie said after she closed the door behind her.

  Garrett’s blood shot eyes narrowed on her. “Mrs. Arnett, I thought I asked to be left alone. Now I’m not asking, I’m telling. Take a message, and I’ll get back to them.” He bent his head back to the papers, dismissing her.

  “Sir. I think you’ll want to see her.”

  Garrett’s head snapped up. “Who?” Hope and relief were clear in his voice.

  “Jessica. Do you want me to send her away?” she asked, knowing full well that’s the last thing he’d want by the look on his face.

  “Give me five minutes before you send her in and then go home early and lock the door behind you,” he said as he moved papers around on his desk.

  Dottie smiled at the animation in his voice. “You got it, sir. I hope this will take care of your sucky attitude.”

  His head snapped up again. He’d never heard Dottie speak like that. His brows relaxed when he caught the sparkle in her eyes. “Get out of here,” he said with a small chuckle.

  Dottie came out and closed the door behind her. She walked quickly to her desk and started putting things away for the day. “He said he’d be able to see you in a minute. He had to do something. Do you want to have a seat?”

  Jessica’s shoulders sank and a staggering despair rose in her throat. Maybe this was a bad idea. “If this is a bad time...can I leave a note for him, tell him he can get back to me if he wants?” she said as she slowly backed away toward the elevators.

  “No,” Dottie said anxiously. She had a feeling if she let this woman leave, Mr. Batali would probably fire her. “He wants to see you.” Dottie softened her voice. “You can wait a minute, can’t you?”

  Jessica hesitantly nodded as she bit her lip. “Um, yes. I’ll just stand over here if you don’t mind.”

  “Oh no, dear, I don’t mind at all. You’re just fine.” Dottie organized her desk and started to shut down her computer. She stood and walked to Garrett’s office door. “Are you ready, hun?” She almost smiled at the how nervous this woman was. If she didn’t watch it, she’d shake right out of her shoes. “Come on.” She opened the office door. “Sir, Jessica is here to see you.” She gently nudged Jessica through the door and then quickly closed it.

  Jessica braced herself against the door Dottie just closed, unable to pull her gaze away from Garrett. She stiffened and watched as he stood slowly and came around his desk and sat on the edge facing her, spread his legs out, and crossed his arms across his chest. Her eyes ate him up. He was dressed in his usual business attire of dark dress pants and button-down shirt. Today it was black pants and white shirt.

  Neither said a word for several moments.

  His gaze swept over her, from her shiny head of burnt tresses that cascaded around her shoulders just the way he liked it to her tiny little feet in the ugly black flats she insisted on wearing. “Jessica, did you want something?” He tried and failed to keep the edgy emotion out of his voice. His eyebrows snapped together as he silently regarded her. She was way too pale. Pale enough that that he could make out the freckles across her nose from where he sat. She looked like she’d been sick. He could tell she had lost weight, making her look frail. Dammit. He hoped she had finally come to the spot-on conclusion she needed him.

  God, he sounds so angry and cold. Her breathing splintered as tears burned her eyes, and her heart fluttered uncomfortably in her chest. Had she done so much damage that it couldn’t be repaired? She tried to speak. “I...I’m sorry. I think this was a bad idea. The last thing I want...I want is to hurt you. I’m sorr—” she whimpered, and a staggering despair rose in her throat. She turned and tried to open the door when two large arms, bent at the elbows, landed on either side of her on the door, preventing her from leaving.

  Garrett pressed his body against hers, making sure she felt how much he wanted her still. He bent close to her ear. “Where do you think you’re going, baby? Running again?”

  Jessica automatically shook her head until it turned into a nod. “Yes,” she said. A muted anguish laced her tone, and she pressed her forehead against the cool door. Her already weak body trembled with anxiety and fatigue. “I didn’t think. I’m sorry. I just wanted to see you so badly, to try to make everything right. I’m being selfish. All I thought of was me. Garrett, let me go. You can call me if you want to see me, and we can try to connect then.” Her words became more muffled as she spoke. “You know, when you’ve had a chance to make your own choice.”

  Garrett took her fragrance into his lungs. Her essence created a need so strong, it made him light-headed. There was no way he was letting her leave. His eyes narrowed at the back of her bent head. “I see. So you still don’t know if you want me,” he taunted, knowing full well she did.

  Jessica’s body jerked then stiffened. “No,” she burst out. “That’s not it. I do want you, very much. I admit I made a horrible mistake, but I didn’t give you a choice about seeing me today, and I feel bad about that. I’ve already caused you pain.” She turned slowly when the warmth of his body lifted off her back.

  He didn’t say anything but moved away from her and walked to his desk, sitting in the same spot as before with his arms crossed and legs spread. “First off, if I didn’t want to see you, you never would have gotten in my office.”

  He watched her for a minute, and his eyes narrowed. “Now, this is the way I would like this to go.” He paused before his voice turned low and rough. “I would like for you to come to me and let me hold you. I just need to hold you for a minute. Would you do that, sweetheart?” His voice was gentle but held the underlying steel that made him who he was. He only had so much strength and patience left before he lost it.

  She stared at him. Her heart beat heavily in her throat as the oxygen froze in her lungs. She wanted him so much and needed the connection she always felt with him inside her, but she didn’t know if her shaky legs would hold her, much less take her across the office. She reached back for the door handle for support.

  “Jessica, I’m telling you right now, if you open that door so much as a crack, you’ll drive me bat-ass crazy,” he said in a guttural rasp.

  “I’m not leaving,” she denied hoarsely as she took a tentative step forward.

  “Then come here.” The gentle command was clear in his voice.

  She let her purse slide to the floor at her feet be
fore slowly making her way to him. The closer she got, the more unsteady she felt. She stopped a foot of him and locked her knees to keep from sliding to the floor.

  “All the way, Jess. Right here between my legs.” He uncrossed his arms when she started forward again, and his fingers of both hands wrapped around her hips and pulled her torso against his hardness before wrapping his arms around her.

  Jessica drank in the comfort of his nearness and stared at the strong muscles and tendons in his throat as her heart beat heavily in her breast. She shyly placed her hands on his chest, the heat of him raging through her veins. She gritted her teeth against the sensations exploding in a rainbow of colors and the damp heat that wet her panties. She tried, but couldn’t hold back the needy sound clawing up her throat.

  “Jessica?” he demanded as he leaned back to see her face.

  “I...” She swallowed the knot in her throat but was unable to keep the tears in.

  “Look at me, baby” he rasped out as he struggled against the massive need to lay her on the nearest flat surface and take her, reminding her again and again until there was no doubt how much he loved her.

  She blinked a few times before raising her head. “I’m sorry, Garrett. Very, very sorry. You were right about me running because I was scared. I’ve just never felt the overwhelming feelings you generate in me that seemed to overtake my whole being. And I guess I still don’t understand what a man like you might see in me.”

  His strong hands flexed then tightened. Not only because of her confession but at the deep misery in her eyes. He let go of any resentment he’d had toward her rebellion when he realized she’d hurt herself as much, if not more, than she had him. But she hadn’t known he was just giving her space, he’d known it was only a matter of time before he came for her.

  One of his hands slid up under her hair to grip the back of her head. “That’s good, baby. Real good. Now, that bullshit about a man like me wanting you. I think time is the only thing that’s going to get through with you. Don’t ever put me through the shit you did this week, Jessica. When you do feel insecure, come to me, and we’ll work through it together.” He grasped her hair and lifted her face and fastened his lips to hers. His tongue pushed through her lips. Each stroke of his tongue against hers made his possessive male dominance over her intensify. Their breaths combined and then clashed against the other and created a kiss so carnal, it stopped her breath.