by J C Hartung
“And you found yourself here.”
“After a stretch of time, yeah, I turned up here.”
He was glad it was out of him, he felt cleansed somehow for not having it inside of him. He leaned back with an abbreviated stretch and placed his arm across the back of the sofa. She settled in with him, curling her legs to her chest she laid her head on her knees to look at him. She smiled in a way that spoke of acceptance. He thought in that moment, that the inches which separated them on the sofa felt like miles, so he pulled her to him and seconds before her lips pressed his she gave him the only acceptance he needed to hear.
“Linc, I’m glad you’re here.”
Inviting him to join her and her family had seemed like a natural step, plus she knew that one of them somehow had already extended the invitation, though when asked, he wouldn’t give her their name.
She didn’t want to think of it as a mistake because he’d appeared more than happy with her invitation. She had even sensed and gone so far as to accuse him of knowing she would eventually get around to asking him. When she did, he’d laughed, and his eyes had fixed on hers in such a way that she knew she couldn’t have protested if she’d wanted to. She somehow knew she was wrapped tightly around his timeline of possibilities; a line he held just beyond her point of sight.
The day had gone really well, he seemed to fit in, but he would probably fit in anywhere he went; he was just that sort of guy.
She watched him throughout the day. The way he interacted with her family, the way he joked with or teased the kids, and when their eyes would meet and she gazed across the room at him, she couldn’t stop the girlish smile that fixed itself to her face. She also acknowledged that she liked the roll of flutters that rustled through her body and found a home in her heart.
He gave her more than flutters though too. Since the night he’d made waffles she couldn’t help wishing that he would have been there each evening after. She’d been tempted to ask him to join them again over the weekend, but she didn’t want to take advantage of him or become used to the idea of having him around.
She had no meetings scheduled for Tuesday after the holiday; everyone deserved the extra day after the previous week. She went in regardless, and found herself first placing orders and doing paperwork, and then testing out a few new recipes she’d been waiting to add to the menu. By midmorning she wanted her day filled with only one thing; Lincoln. She didn’t call or give him any warning; she assumed he’d be at home working. She loaded up the soup she’d just made and threw in a few sandwiches and of course the pie she knew he’d complain she hadn’t brought if he didn’t find it in the box, and she drove out to his place.
The leaves had turned and many trees had already shed a good amount of their dancing colors to the ground. The air was crisp and a northern breeze warned that the time for harvest was over and a deeper cold would soon descend upon them. She shivered as a gust of wind blew through the knit of her sweater; she could do without the cold for a while longer.
She opened the door to the barn and all was quiet. She called up the stairs but still she got no answer. She crossed to the house and took the porch stairs by two. She saw him through the window sitting on a bucket that was turned upside down. She opened the door and he turned immediately at the sound. His face lit and he tucked a handful of papers in his back pocket.
“Hey! Would you believe me if I told you I was just thinking about you?”
“I might! Hey, yourself!” she laughed, as she crossed to him and greeted him with a kiss that he wanted to turn into so much more.
“How’d you manage to sneak away?” He ran his fingers down the side of her face and kissed her mouth once more.
“We’re closed, it’s Tuesday. I thought we could have lunch, but if you’re busy, I can leave it for you and go.”
She motioned to the door but he caught her around the waist and drew her tightly to his side. “Whatever I have going on today will be here when you leave.”
“What were you looking at when I interrupted?”
She looked past him into the empty space. He turned with her and he saw naked walls surrounded by an exceptional and beautifully tiled floor.
“I’m going to start installing the kitchen today, and I was just imagining how it will look and if the changes I made were the right way to go.”
She looked at him and, judging by the intense focus in his eyes, she believed he likely could see the finished product.
“What sort of changes did you make? Can you even do that at this stage?”
He took her hand and positioned her where the island would eventually be. “I like the way your kitchen in the garage has shelves instead of upper cabinets, so I took a few out of my design.”
“That doesn’t sound like too much of a change.” She looked around and imagined if anything he did from this point on was as inspired as what he’d already accomplished, it sure would be something. She felt the warmth rise in her and she channeled that warmth and all she felt for him into another long kiss.
“I think whatever you do will be perfect. Will you let me cook for you here when it’s done?”
He laughed, because if she only knew what he’d been thinking when she walked in, she would have never had to ask.
“I think something along those lines can certainly be arranged.” Brushing his hand slowly down the back of her head he felt the need to change the subject before he fell on his knees in front of her and begged.
“So, you said something about bringing lunch!”
She laughed and pulled him by the hand out to the car where her goodie box sat in the back seat.
They ate on a table that was ready to be loaded into his trailer and delivered over the weekend. His family was getting together for the delayed holiday so he thought it better to deliver as much as he could so he wouldn’t have to make another trip the week after.
“So, Raina, I’m wondering if we could take a moment to talk something through?”
She smiled and nodded in answer to his request, before she taste tested the soup in front of her.
“I know you’re going to see your family this weekend,” he started. Her mouth was full after removing the empty spoon, but her eyes acknowledged this was fact, so he continued. “Oliver was pretty vocal about it yesterday. I’m heading that way myself. Do you think you might have a small piece of time to join me with my family?”
It was a fair enough question, especially after he endured the day with her family. But how could she explain to the Sawyers she was choosing to spend part of the time she’d set aside for them, with another man’s family?
He watched her slowly swallow, and though her mouth opened to speak, no words came out. He knew he’d have to walk delicately into this matter, so he began to ask her questions that seemed more reasonable and less demanding.
“Maybe if you told me what your plans looked like we could find a piece of time to work with.”
“Umm.”
She hesitated only for a moment, but her actions in that moment said a lot. He could all but see the gears churning in her head. He watched her toy briefly with her spoon, place it silently to rest in her bowl, pull her hands away and move them to her forehead, where her ring finger followed her scar before her hand dove into her hair, pushing it from her face. She exhaled shakily and brought her eyes up to meet his.
“I was planning on leaving Saturday morning early and coming home sometime after lunch on Sunday.”
He nodded. It left enough time to work with, but she had to be willing to give it to him.
“I was planning on leaving at noon on Friday. Why don’t you take a day and think about it, I don’t need an answer right now. Maybe either way, between now and then we could do supper at your place again, my treat!”
His eyes held hers a while longer. Only when she offered a small smile did he resume interest in his sandwich. However, for a few more minutes she did nothing more than push her soup around in the Styrofoam bowl, while her eyes t
ook turns examining the soup and Linc.
How did he do it? How could he sit there so easily and eat while he knew she was weighing him and his requests. If she didn’t admire the ability he had to make such big requests in his charming and easy going manner, she imagined she’d likely want to run out the door. He certainly didn’t let things rest where they were for long. But hadn’t he warned her of this, he’d even right out told her, how did he word it? He’d said he was a patient man, but he would fight for what he wanted, or something along those lines. Wasn’t it funny that she liked the way he fought? She smiled to herself and sent a purposeful smirk his way.
She must have made a sound too, because his full attention shifted back on her before she’d decided what to say.
“So, if I can give you Friday night, what would we do?”
His smile didn’t mask how his heart felt in that moment and she laughed along with him. He pulled her chair towards him with one quick movement and threaded his fingers with hers.
“We’ll feast on Thai take away, play games until Chris complains that Diane is cheating, which she is notorious for, but never caught in the act. And once our eyes are too heavy, our bellies too full, and we’ve said goodnight to late stragglers, we’ll tuck Oliver up in bed and you’ll fall asleep on my shoulder while I watch a movie.”
“That sounds like an alright sort of evening,” she whispered, her smile spreading slow and wobbly. “I’ll have to make some calls.”
“That’s fine; we don’t have to make arrangements today.”
“Linc.”
He swallowed and erased the smile from his face when he saw the expression on hers. The cloudy, hollowness was in her eyes for the first time in a while. “I’m not ready to face the Sawyers with you. Not yet.”
“Raina--” he started to offer comfort but she stopped him.
“No, Linc, listen. I hate that I have to talk to you about this.” She sounded small while she shook her head, but she held tightly to his hand and said the words anyway. “I’m not hiding you, or ashamed in any way of what we have. They know about you, I just need a bit of time to explain to them. I need a bit more time to be theirs.”
“Raina, I won’t push you in a way that pushes them out. But I want you to know that I’ll be there when you want me to be, and when you don’t want me to be, I won’t be far. But I want you to make room for me too.”
She leaned in to kiss his cheek, and drew away shaking the heavy mood and huge emotions clear, leaving something lighter and easy.
“Making room for you seems easier all the time. Okay,” she tossed her hair and waved her arms as though clearing the air, “enough of that,” she said lightly. “When are you making us supper? And can you make anything other than burgers and breakfast foods?”
He wanted to say the words; those three special, life-altering words. He felt them; he knew that as clearly as he could see the crisp autumn sky. But the ghosts in the room were suddenly too present, even for him to deny.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Oliver and his new friends giggled their way into dreamland and she had to admit, whatever the glue was that stuck the Morrows into the tight little family they were, was worth exploring. Linc had called the events of the evening perfectly; they played games until Chris gave in and accused Diane of cheating.
Morgan and Dale left their third child behind for a sleepover, and now when the evening had rolled into the early hours of night, she was snuggled up next to Linc with her head on his shoulder, wavering somewhere on the edge of dreamland.
She heard the same giggles again when her eyes opened in the morning. She’d slept in, and not by a little. She dragged herself somewhat sheepishly to the kitchen where Diane sat with the two boys at the table. Linc stood behind the three but also appeared to be the one manning the stove, and it looked as though they’d already devoured one stack of pancakes. He could make the most ordinary, or normal instance seem special, and she saw instantly what he’d meant a while back when he said, it’s the best normal he could think of. If this was his normal, she wanted it, and him.
She walked into the room and felt it in that instant; the swamping, soaking, soft-squishy center feeling of love flooding her and sweeping her away with it. He’d done it; he’d convinced her. She knew without a doubt, she was in love with him.
“If you put the ice cream up here it looks like hair! Hey, look who’s finally awake!” Linc announced from where he stood behind Oliver, helping him with something on his plate. He winked at her and crossed back to the stove.
“Mom! Linc and Miss Diane said we’re allowed to put ice cream on our pancakes!”
She walked into the kitchen and kissed the top of Oliver’s head, and gave Diane’s shoulder an affectionate rub. “That sounds like the best breakfast, ever!”
He stood, leaning on the counter with the pancake flipper in one hand and his mug of coffee in the other, when she smiled at him. No, it wasn’t just a smile, she was sparkling, and her eyes were dancing as she crossed towards him. He wasn’t ready for her. Until this moment, she’d always been especially careful with how she showed affection when Oliver was present. He hadn’t objected and simply followed her lead. But she was suddenly changing the rules, and he didn’t know what happened to make it so.
Her hands touched his face and pulled him towards her. She paused to smile before her lips met his, and he heard her breathe ‘good morning’ before she wrapped herself around him. Though he had no complaints with her sudden display of affection, he also didn’t want to ignore the way Oliver might react. He kept his eyes on the child, who watched the scene unfold.
Diane watched, intrigued by the way the young woman moved, and by the way Linc had obviously not seen it coming. On either side of her the boys were making faces on their ice cream hair pancakes. Using bananas, strawberries, chocolate syrup, and peanut butter, they had quite a mess around them. Yet even they hadn’t missed the minor scene. The boy’s faces were scrunched, but Oliver’s quickly turned to a smile.
Raina eased back and watched Linc’s eyes dart from the table to hers. How adorable was that face; the concern, the sleepy morning surprise he obviously hadn’t anticipated. She raised her hand to his face and brushed her fingers down its side.
“Do you want pancakes?” he asked, with a perfectly humorous tone.
They matched each other’s smiles and she responded easily. “Absolutely! They’re my favorite.”
“Come see my face, Mama!” Oliver called.
Raina turned back to the table, leaving Linc still slightly stunned. He caught the sly smile and quirk of an eyebrow on his mother’s face before she popped some berries in her mouth, and tried to appear oblivious.
She’d tossed the last piece of clothing back in her bag and zipped it closed just as Linc fell lazily onto the bed next to it.
“All set?” he asked.
“I think so.” She placed the bag on the floor by the door and then crossed her legs when she sat next to him.
“So are you heading home today?”
He felt her hand push back his uncooperative hair. Something had definitely changed, it was written all over her, especially in her eyes. He shifted to sit and grabbed her hand to kiss it.
“I’ll deliver my pieces and hopefully be back on the road by noon. When will you be home?”
“By supper tomorrow. You coming over tomorrow if you’re not busy?”
He couldn’t think of one single thing he wouldn’t do for her. “Sure. Is everything alright?”
“More than alright,” she assured. “But I’m a little distracted right now, and because I slept so late, we need to get going pretty quick.”
“I’m glad you were comfortable enough to get some rest. I also want you to know, well, thanks for coming.”
He’d barely finished thanking her when she climbed into his arms. She took his face in her hands as she had earlier, locked her eyes with his, and made what she was thinking clear with one pointed gaze. He felt his heart secure it
self solidly and warmly in place.
“I love you, Lincoln.”
When she said the words, she actually had to wait for them to register with his brain. She didn’t wait long. Probably just long enough to see the response in his eyes, but before he could get the words out, her mouth was on his, her arms were around him, and he knew he couldn’t have hoped for a better way to have heard those words.
She put her fingers on his lips. “Don’t say it, not when I have to rush out the door.”
“Mom, I’m ready, can we go now?” Oliver asked, and he popped his head into the room. She slipped herself from Linc’s arms, stood, and took the two steps to her bag.
“Yes, Ollie, I’m ready. Go get your shoes on and sit on the steps, I’ll be right there.”
She heard him skip down the hall and over to the entrance. She bent to pick up her bag but before she could, Linc grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him. She fell over his legs and found herself lying in his arms. She’d never seen his eyes so vividly blue; they somehow seemed to be glowing.
Her hair was spread like a fan around her head and her eyes were alive with laughter, challenge, and love. He held himself up with his hands on either side of her head while his position effectively stopped her from getting up. He lowered himself to her, but a breath before their lips met, he stopped.
“Raina, if I can’t make the time to tell the people I love how I feel, it’s not worth saying.” He saw she understood what he was saying, and why he was saying it; time is fleeting. She of all people knew it, and her breathy yeah declared it so.
“I love you, Raina.”
After the commotion of their arrival at Pete and Marie’s had calmed, Dave and Trish, along with their crew, arrived. Allen and Sue had been there before Raina and Oliver, and now with everyone together under one roof, what had been excited chatter, turned into a boisterous affair. It also didn’t take more than a few minute for Shanna to drag Raina to her bedroom for an update on her blossoming feelings for the latest boy.