Dear Adam
Page 26
I'm missing you so much.
Eden
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Friday, February 14 3:36 AM
Fr: Eden Espinoza
To: Eden Espinoza
Dear Adam,
I wonder where you are now, who you're with, what you're doing. Do you think of me? Do you ache like I do?
I suppose you've put me away for good. That you've found someone else to court, someone else to send you to sleep, wake you up, fuss over you, worry over you.
The days are speeding by so fast. If it hasn't already, our time together will seem like a distant dream. You'll wonder if you ever knew me. You won't look back, intent on moving forward.
I have all these crazy ideas. I'd say, Meet me. Now. Anywhere you like. I'll go wherever you are. I'd say - Please come home, Adam.
And you would.
Eden
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Friday, February 23 3:59 AM
Fr: Eden Espinoza
To: Eden Espinoza
Dear Adam,
Sometimes when I think about you, I can't breathe. Like right now.
Eden
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Friday, February 23 4:16 AM
Fr: Eden Espinoza
To: Adam -
Dear Adam,
How are you? Whatever you might think, I do care about what happens to you. I don’t feel right about how it ended between us. I should have let you defend yourself.
I'm ready to listen if you have anything to say to me.
Eden
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Friday, February 23 4:18 AM
From: "MAILER-NO REPLY@me.com"
To: Eden Espinoza
Subject: FAILURE NOTICE
Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message to the following address:
Chapter 17
“You look amazing! Spending two weeks in the Caribbean agrees with you, Viv!” Eden gave a Vivian a warm hug. “Love your tan.”
“I’m so glad to see you, E. You’re more reclusive than J.D. Salinger!”
They both sat down and ordered drinks. When the waiter left with their orders, Vivian gave her a lingering glance, a slight frown creasing her forehead even though she was smiling.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”
“Oh, you know me.” Eden affected a lighthearted tone. “I’m just a little hermit nowadays.”
“For awhile there, I thought you were avoiding me.” Vivian had her hands steepled on the table as she searched Eden’s face.
Eden lowered her eyes.
“No, I wasn’t. I’ve just been busy with projects. Consumed.”
Vivian raised an eyebrow.
“Consumed?”
Eden took a deep breath. She took her phone out of her purse and unlocked it.
“Wow, that’s different! It reads your thumbprint?”
Eden made a sound of annoyance. “It is such a freaking pain. A-” She was about to say “Adam had me install it” but stopped herself in time. She swallowed the pebble in her throat and continued. “It’s just a stupid program or something that I can’t get rid of.”
“You can’t delete the app?”
“It’s not an app.” Eden waved her hand in the air dismissively. “Too long of a story. I’m sorry I ever installed it. Anyway.”
She pushed the phone across the table. Vivian picked it up and looked at the link that Eden had clicked on.
“League of Librarians Part I by E.A. Valfiero?” Vivian read with a confused expression. “You want me to read this book?”
“That would be wonderful. Because I wrote it.”
“Shut up!”
Eden grinned, vigorously nodding her head.
Vivian’s shriek startled the nearby diners, who gawked at them as they did a mad dance of hugs and tears. They grabbed their drinks from the waiter when he came around and did jubilant toasts.
“This is really you?” Vivian was still in the thick of surprise.
“That’s what I’ve been working on. I hired an editor, got it in shape, and now all three books in the series are out in the wild!”
“I am buying all of them right now.” Vivian took her phone out and clicked on it several times. “There. I’m now the owner of an E.A. Valfiero set. Woo-hoo!”
“You’ll be one of four owners! Yay!”
They clinked martini glasses and downed their cosmopolitans.
“You did it, you finally did it. I’m so proud of you!”
“You can’t tell anybody though. I want my pseudonym to remain a secret. I don’t want it to ever be traced back to me.”
Vivian gaped at her.
“You’re the only one who knows. I just want to keep my private life and writing life separate.”
Vivian looked like she was about to cry. “You only told me?”
“Yeah. You’ve always encouraged me to write so of course I had to tell you!”
“Oh, E.” Vivian got up and gave Eden another warm hug. “Thank you.”
Vivian wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “I was beginning to worry about you, actually. I’m glad I was wrong.”
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine.” Eden smiled at her friend. “Here’s our food!” she exclaimed with relief when the waiter approached them with their orders.
Over dinner, Vivian regaled Eden with tales of her travels. Eden told her about Dante's plan to move out during summer to live with his dad so he could be closer to his college. "I'll probably get a bunch of cats or something," she joked, trying to keep a brave face.
They also talked about the latest news. Eden was surprised to find out that Regine was dating again and had finally found someone who treated her right.
“Not only that,” Vivian said with a laugh, “He’s real!”
Eden laughed too, but it was forced. She tried to steer the conversation away from boyfriends and lovers, but Vivian was not to be deterred.
“You still haven’t told me about Adam,” she said as they sipped their coffee.
Eden stared down at her coffee cup for a quiet moment, then took a deep breath. When she looked up, she gave her concerned friend a weak smile.
“I don’t know how to tell you this,” she began.
“So that’s why you changed your phone number and deleted your blog,” Vivian remarked an hour later. “I was really concerned, but when you told me about the books, I thought that maybe that was the reason, because you were finally concentrating on your writing.”
“By default,” Eden said. She wiped the tears from her cheeks with a tissue. “I swore I wouldn’t break down when I told you.”
“Cry all you want. Hell, I’m crying with you!” Vivian sniffed. “And you haven’t talked to him since?”
Eden shook her head. “I finally gave in and e-mailed him, but his e-mail account was shut down. So was his Skype account. And then I tried calling the phone number he had given me and that didn’t work either. It’s like he disappeared, but not.”
Vivian gave her a questioning glance.
“I still feel him,” Eden said. She swept the air all around them. “Everywhere. His presence is so strong, almost as strong as when we were together.”
"What if he's someone you know or met already, only he was too shy to tell you?"
Eden sighed. "I've looked at it from every point of view, considered every possibility." She gave a small laugh. "I even went around my office, feeling out every guy, trying to see if there were any signs they might be Adam. But I know in my heart that's not it. His voice, his personality. Everything about him is too unique. No one can even come close."
Vivian pursed her lips and tapped a finger on the table. Her brow was furrowed as if she was concentrating on something.
“What?”
Eden gaped at her friend in surprise. Out of all the things she expected worldly Vivian to say, this was not one of them.
“Viv, he catfished me.”
“It would seem so. But there’s something about the fact that he insisted on not giving you a picture. He could have deceived you by representing himself as this gorgeous guy, but he didn’t. It was like he wanted you to fall in love with the real him.” Vivian tapped her finger on the table to emphasize her point. “I think he’s deformed.”
“I thought of that,” Eden conceded. “I told him over and over again how I didn’t care how he looked. All I cared about was him. You know me.”
Vivian widened her eyes comically. “Um-hm. You don’t care about looks, your winner of an ex-husband being a prime example. Thank god Dante doesn’t resemble him in looks or personality.”
Eden looked around the restaurant. She inclined her head toward an obese older man sitting with his wife at a corner table. “Adam could be overweight, bald, whatever.” She stared so hard at the man that his wife began to look alarmed. Eden looked away, embarrassed. “I don’t care.”
“So let’s just say all of a sudden, he sent you an e-mail or text asking to get back together, how would you feel?”
Eden couldn’t stop the wave of heartsick longing that overwhelmed her just then. She cast her eyes down without saying anything.
“Oh, Eden, honey, you have to do something.”
Saturday, May 10 15:45
Fr: Michael Stubbins
To: Eden Espinoza
Subject: ADAM CARTER; Case no. 134-X53-AC1
Ms. Espinoza:
After an extensive search of UK records and field investigation, I have found a viable match for the above-named subject you have directed our office to search for. Using the date of birth, name, physical descriptors, and other possible identifying information you provided, I was able to locate two records which appear to closely match this subject.
At your direction, I began my search in Liverpool and surrounding environs. You stated that this individual might have an extensive criminal record; however, I only found one arrest. I have attached a detailed report of the incident to this e-mail (labeled “Adam Carter 1”) for your complete perusal. To summarise, at the age of 16, an Adam Carter was arrested for the attempted murder of William J. Hough, age 23. Adam Carter claimed that Hough had brutally beaten his (Adam Carter’s) 16-year-old ex-girlfriend because she was pregnant with Hough’s child and Hough wanted the pregnancy terminated. Hough was hospitalised with a broken jaw and severe head injuries. The charges against Adam Carter were dropped when Adam Carter’s grandfather, Charles Carter, intervened and persuaded the local magistrate to release his grandson. As a result of being beaten, Adam Carter’s ex-girlfriend miscarried and subsequently attempted an unsuccessful suicide.
Again at your direction, I searched for any murder attempts on one Adam Carter which also involved criminal or “mafia” figures operating in the UK. I found one Adam Carter, age 19, who was shot while he was in the company of one Marco Mancino, age 47, while they were in a London nightclub. I found one newspaper article about the event (a copy is attached to this e-mail and labeled “Adam Carter 2”). According to unsubstantiated rumours, Mancino was connected to Sicilian mafia. I could find no further information on Mancino, other than he originated from Agrigento, Sicily.
Mancino died of gunshot wounds on the scene. Adam Carter was taken to the hospital and later died of his injuries. A copy of his death certificate, signed by the attending physician, is attached to this e-mail (labeled “Adam Carter 3”). In anticipation of your request, I performed a query for any information regarding where Adam Carter’s remains might currently reside. Unfortunately, the hospital morgue records for that year were consumed by a fire some years ago. I was unable to locate Adam Carter’s final resting place.
Furthermore, I was not able to locate any photographs of Adam Carter. None were attached to his arrest record. I was also unable to locate a birth certificate.
I could find no other information aside from the attached documents.
An invoice for services rendered is attached, labeled “Adam Carter Billing.”
If you have any further questions, please send me an e-mail at this address or call our office at the number on the invoice.
Regards,
Michael Stubbins
For the hundredth time, Eden re-read the e-mail on her phone from the UK private investigator she had hired.
Dead.
It was all there, in black and white. An official death certificate. Everything lined up, the dates, the age, the circumstances.
Could it be that her Adam had seen this article and decided to appropriate the story for his own, only changing the obvious outcome – that he survived?
Eden dismissed the idea. She was taking Vivian’s advice to heart. She was going to assume that everything that Adam had told her was the truth and go from there. This was the only way she could proceed with trying to find him.
She thought back to their first conversation about the shooting, trying to remember what he had said about it. What was it? He said he owed everything to his doctor, “Ashraf.” “Ashraf” had given him "a new life."
Eden opened the death certificate again and zoomed in. “A. Khan” had signed it.
At the time, she thought Adam meant “Ashraf” had saved his life. But what if “a new life” meant just that? Death of his old life as Adam Carter, freeing him to live another life as someone else, someone who wouldn’t be haunted by his affiliation with a murdered Sicilian mafioso? What if “A. Khan” was “Ashraf” – the doctor who falsely signed Adam Carter’s death certificate? If his enemies thought he was dead then that would ensure the ultimate privacy of his new life. And wouldn’t that mean then that he would guard that new life so zealously that he would allow no photos, no videos to be taken of him, ever?
It was an incredible theory – but then everything that the private investigator had uncovered would have been unbelievable, had it come from any other source.
“Hi, honey. Happy Mother’s Day!” Her mother and father had arrived at the café for brunch, interrupting her thoughts. Her mother approached her with a warm smile.
“Hi, Ma! Happy Mother’s Day!” Eden said as she hugged her mother tightly then handed her a bouquet of roses.
“Thank you, honey. They’re beautiful,” her mother said appreciatively as she held the roses to her heart and sniffed them.
Dante walked in at the same time that her brother and his girlfriend arrived. “Hey, hey!”
It was a sunny May morning, warm enough so that they sat in an outside table of the café.
Eden longed to tell her mother about the books she had published, especially the first one, which was dedicated to her. It would have made a poignant Mother’s Day gift. But she swallowed her need to have her mother be proud of her. If she wanted her anonymity intact, she needed to tell as few people as possible. Once her mother knew, she would tell Eden’s dad because they could never keep secrets from each other. And once Eden’s dad knew, then everybody would know. He had no filter whatsoever and said whatever came to his mind.
“So when are you going to get married again and give us more grandchildren?” her dad asked without preamble, proudly patting Dante's back. “You’re going to be 36 in a week. You don’t have much time. Your eggs are getting old.”
Eden almost choked on her pancakes.
Her mother slapped her father’s arm and exclaimed, “Pa!”
Dante’s mocha came out of his nose.
Eden’s brother started laughing out loud while his girlfriend tried to shush him. She gave Eden an apologetic look.
Chastened, her brother cleared his throat and tried to distract Eden, who was about to lecture her
dad on her evolutionary destiny. “Hey, so how’s your bucket list going? What number are you on, anyway?”
“It’s not a bucket list,” Eden explained yet again. “It’s just trying 36 new things before I turn 36. I’m on number 35.”
“She made her own cheese last weekend,” Dante offered politely.
“That sounds … exciting,” her brother remarked. “Soooo what’s going to be the big number 36? Learn how to crochet? Basket weaving? Dye your hair purple? Gotta end it with a bang, sis.”
Eden speared an asparagus and bit on it with gusto before replying.
“For number 36, I’m going to Sicily.”
Chapter 18
The flight from San Francisco to Palermo was over 20 hours total, with plane changes in Frankfurt and Rome. Booking the trip last minute meant that Eden couldn’t avoid layovers if she wanted to keep her expenses reasonable. She felt guilty about taking money out of her savings for something that wasn’t an emergency.
Dante was excited for her to go, until she told him that his grandfather was going to stay at the house with him while she was gone.
“But, mom! I’m 18! I can stay on my own for a week,” he protested.