Kev

by Mark A Labbe

  “No.”

  “What’s your game? I know I’m playing a game now, but I don’t know the rules or what my objective is, if I even have one.”

  “Kev…”

  “Are you really my wife? Do you even love me?”

  “Kev, stop. You know I love you.”

  I dug deeper into my memories and found Soph’s memories. One in particular stood out. The girl had once told Soph the story of how she and I first met and how she instantly fell in love with me. I doubted she would tell our daughter that if it wasn’t true. I could find no other memories of the girl telling anyone about her love for me, but I believed she spoke truthfully when she told Soph the story.

  “Did you know Clive and I created The Show?” I said.

  “You did?”

  “Yes. I hired B24ME to host the show and instructed him to try to kill me in an infinite number of ways, and if I managed to get off the show somehow, to get me back on. Why would I do that? I don’t know the answer because even though I have all of these memories, I know now I don’t have all of my own memories back. I only know about The Show because I have B24ME’s memories. I suspect you and Clive know all the answers, and I know you’re not going to give them to me. I know. The rules. Why can’t I die? Can you die? Can Clive? Why have I been alive for over a thousand years? Actually, I have been alive much longer than that, haven’t I? Same with you, and Clive as well. I know that’s not normal.”

  The girl didn’t answer. I saw tears streaming down her face. She came beside me and kissed me, her hands on my face. “You have no idea how much I want to tell you everything, Kev. Know this. You will be much happier that I didn’t when you figure it all out.”

  I brought my legs over the side of the bed and sat up. “The Canadians will probably be coming. They were in town the day I pressed the button five times, hoping I would come here. We should go.” I brought us to Uthio Minor in the present, now knowing how to teleport at will, and able to move back and forth through time without the black cube. I still didn’t know what the red cube did, but I suspected Clive and the girl knew, and knew they would never tell me. I also knew about a small clear cube that I had when I was a boy, and knew exactly where it was. Something told me that cube held all the answers.

  I went into the bedroom and changed out of my hospital garb, and then returned to the family room and sat down on the couch next to the girl. Soph entered the room and sat beside me. Moments later, Ruby and the three Kev’s appeared.

  “Daddy!” cried the Kev’s, all rushing over to me.

  I looked at Ruby, a smile on my face, remembering all of the times she had taken advantage of me. I didn’t hold it against her, of course. It was just her part in this madness.

  And that was another thing. Everyone in the universe knew who I was and that I was playing a game, although the only thing they knew about the game was that they could not provide any material assistance to me, whatever that meant. It appeared that most of them had different opinions of what constituted material assistance. Only a small handful knew anything even remotely useful, and the things they did know didn’t give me much to go on at present.

  Realizing I wouldn’t get any help from anyone, I focused on being with my family, although my thoughts wandered as I played with the kids and made small talk with the girl and Ruby. I wondered why Clive had hired Aputi to end humanity, and even kill him. I knew Clive had died that day. However, his death wasn’t final, which made me wonder even more about him. What was Clive’s role in this game? Was he the one I should beware of? Who had told me to beware of him? That thought stayed with me for a while.

  We had dinner and then went for a walk on the beach. The kids played in the water, while Ruby, the girl and I walked hand in hand. On our way back to the house, I found a memory of something so horrible that I couldn’t believe it. Aputi had once had a dream or maybe a nightmare in which all creation, including God ceased to exist, something so convoluted and vile that words cannot truly describe it. In that instant, I remembered the Proth Sphere and what it could do, and I wondered what would happen if Aputi ever connected to the sphere. In all of the infinite memories I had, this was the only one of its kind. That seemed odd to me. I would have thought many would have such a nightmare at some point or another. Why would only one, and now two, including me, have it? I remembered my nightmare about the giant nozzle that sucked up the universe and knew that nightmare had almost ended the universe. Aputi’s nightmare was far worse than that, given that if Aputi’s nightmare came true, nobody would be able to save anything ever again because nothing would exist.

  My thoughts drifted to other memories. There were so many them, an infinite number. I found it difficult to keep track of things, and knew I was missing something. That’s when I saw Clive walking down the beach, followed by the Proth Sphere. Clive had a sick grin on his face. I knew in that moment that he had come looking for me, and I suspected it had something to do with Aputi’s nightmare. I immediately teleported to my house in Vermont in two thousand, sixteen.

  Moments after I appeared in my house in Vermont, Clive and the sphere appeared right in front of me. Before Clive could speak, I teleported to Gamma War. In this universe, Gamma War had not been sucked into a black hole. However, it was orbiting the black hole and appeared to be on the verge of being sucked into that monstrosity. I wondered if Clive would follow me here and wondered if it was best to go somewhere he might not think of, and also somewhere that was not about to be consumed by a black hole.

  I remembered the clear cube in that moment and teleported to Ceti Margaux in the present, the last location that anyone in the universe had any memory of seeing the clear cube, the place where it had been for many years.

  Very few traveled to Ceti Margaux and for a couple of good reasons. The planet had a terrible smell, like the worst kind of fart imaginable. Further, its residents were a putrid, hunched race covered with warts and sores, whose voices made your skin crawl. Needless to say, this was not a popular tourist destination.

  I looked around, now in a place that looked like an old French village. I found it remarkable that the inhabitants of this planet would create such a quaint village. I felt someone tap on my shoulder and turned around, facing an older female.

  “Class three?” she said.

  “What?”

  “What class are you?” she said, and I remembered. The residents of this planet had an obsession with mind class (and also fine wine and stinky cheese), most of them being class sevens. It was a crime to not know your class, although they were lenient with visitors, more than happy to test you, so you could go on your merry way and enjoy the fine smells, wine, cheese and company their planet had to offer.

  “I don’t know,” I said, already knowing the answer, but wanting to give her a little surprise.

  “Well, we’ll have to get you tested.”

  I smiled and waited for her question, knowing that my two-word answer would determine everything. Well, honestly, it wasn’t just the answer, but the way I said it, the time of day, the temperature and a large number of other factors that played into it.

  “What is your favorite color?” she said.

  “Cerulean blue.”

  Her rheumy eyes widened and she said, “Are you sure? You wouldn’t be lying would you?”

  “So, what does that make me?” I said, smiling in my most pleasant way.

  “You’ll have to come with me,” she said, grabbing my hand with a knotty, pustule covered claw, leading me into the building I had planned on visiting, the building where I would find the being who had the clear cube, the cube it had found while visiting a small park in Macon, Georgia, having mistakenly teleported there after drinking far too much wine, many years in the past.

  Sitting in an empty room on what appeared to be a pile of logs, I saw the most horrid creature I had ever seen, possibly the ugliest creature one might find in the universe. His name was Grall Tok. He bowed his head slightly, his head covered in oozing sores, green,
red and black, and said, “Kev. You know, I never thought I would see you. Well, that’s not entirely true. You see our simulations said you would arrive about a billion years from now.”

  “He’s a class nine,” said the female, Korl Mol.

  “Just as we predicted,” shouted Grall Tok. “How excellent. So good to have you here, Kev. Actually, do you mind if I call you Kevin? Kev is a name for someone with a class one mind, don’t you think?”

  A class one nine was typically associated with parasitic organisms. I laughed and said, “You can call me whatever you want.”

  “You know what class nine means, then?” said Grall Tok.

  “Of course.”

  “What else do you know?”

  “Pretty much everything,” I said.

  “For how long?”

  “About thirty-seven days. I think you have something for me,” I said. I have said I didn’t know absolutely everything, and that is completely true. I knew everything that every living being in all of the infinite universes that had ever existed knew up until the time I pressed that button five times, except for Clive, the girl, Jesus, Bri and the Proth Sphere, and also some of my own memories, or at least, so I thought at that moment. So, I didn’t know anything from the last thirty-seven days and would not know anything new unless I pressed the button five times yet again.

  “Yes, of course.” Grall Tok reached into a pocket and pulled out a small clear cube about the same size as my other cubes. He handed it to me. “You know, I knew this was yours when I found it, and I did try to find you to return it, but you are quite difficult to find, Kev. I offer my apologies for not putting more effort into my search.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I know I’m difficult to find, and I have to say, I’m pretty happy about that right about now.” I looked at the cube, completely unaware of its purpose. Why was it so important?

  I’ll explain something now. The reason I was so difficult to find is because I exist only at one point in time at a given time. So, if someone wanted to find me, they would have to find me in my relative present or be somewhere I would be in my future. I hope you understand.

  I didn’t bother to ask Grall Tok what the clear cube could do, already knowing he did not know. However, I knew he believed, as did his colleagues, that this cube was what they called the God cube. Grall Tok and his colleagues believed I was some sort of a god, an amusing thought.

  “Why don’t you stay for a while? I’ll have Korl bring us some wine.”

  Grall Tok and I shared a bottle of wine, talking about anything that came to mind. At one point he asked me if I was God and I laughed and said, “I know quite a bit, more than enough to know that I am not God.”

  “Pity,” said Grall Tok. “We were almost certain you were.”

  The conversation wound down and I left, traveling to a small planet near the center of the universe called Contigax, home of the G-Field Corporation, makers of containment field generators, the best containment field generators in all of the infinite universes. I appeared in a small shop that had something I needed, something that would allow me to stop Clive from doing whatever it was he planned on doing.

  One of the sales persons, an eight-legged, furry, brown creature, approached me and said, “Can I help you, Kev?”

  I happened to be standing next to a pedestal. Sitting on the top of the pedestal was a pillow and on the pillow a pea-sized sphere. A class Z containment field surrounded the pedestal, making access to the sphere impossible, or at least nearly impossible. I examined the sphere, thinking it was exactly what I needed.

  “Ah, the Bezus model,” said the creature. “The only one of its kind. I take it you are interested in purchasing it?”

  The Bezus containment device happened to be the most powerful containment field generator ever created. Only one had been created before the individual who created it died in a freak accident. Of course, that individual had never documented how to construct the device or use it, and nobody had figured out the secret. Further, its inventor had placed it on this pedestal and activated it right before a meteor struck him. Since then, nobody had been able to disable the field, thus eliminating the possibility that anyone could examine it and figure out how to work it.

  “I just want to borrow it,” I said.

  “Well, unless you know how to disable it, you are going to have a rather difficult time taking it.”

  Of course, I knew how to disable the device, and disable it I did, picking it up off of the pillow.

  “How did you do that?” cried the creature, Beede.

  “I know how it works. Now, do you mind if I keep it for a while? I promise to bring it back and teach you how to use it and how to build more like it.”

  “When will you bring it back?”

  “That I don’t know, but I will.”

  “Well, of course you can borrow it, Kev. Take as long as you like.”

  “Thanks, Beede.”

  “By the way, what are you going to do with it?”

  “I’m going to trap the Proth Sphere.”

  “Oh my. Really? Are you sure it will work?”

  “Nope, but I’m going to try.”

  I then teleported to Earithon, a planet almost identical to Earth, populated by a species almost identical to humans. Further, all of the flora and fauna and even the geography on that planet bore a striking resemblance to that on Earth. In fact, even the cities on that planet were similar, even in name.

  I appeared in Nwerk, in two thousand, nine hundred, thirty-seven, outside of a workshop. I had come here to get the Proth Sphere and then find someplace to hide it from Clive, now believing that it was no coincidence that Clive had the sphere with him when he approached me on the beach. I believed this had something to do with Aputi’s nightmare, and further, believed that Clive just might want to end all creation, a chilling thought.

  In order to hide the sphere, because I knew it would not want to be hid, I had to trap it, thus, my interest in the containment field generator.

  I knocked on the door and a girl identical to the girl opened the door and threw herself into my arms. I fully expected this, given that I looked exactly like her husband, Kev. Like the girl, this girl had no name, or at least no name she knew.

  After I convinced her that I was not her Kev, she let me in and led me to a back room where I found the sphere hovering in the center of the room.

  “Hey, Kev,” said the sphere. “Want to connect?”

  “No thanks,” I said. “However, I want you to come with me.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want Clive to find you.”

  “Oh, so you know?” said the sphere.

  “I know everything,” I said, realizing that I might be able to get information out of the sphere.

  “Really? So, tell me, what will Clive do if he has me?”

  I cursed silently, realizing the sphere was on guard. Even though I had almost infinite knowledge, much of my own forgotten knowledge had not yet come back to me, so I really didn’t know for sure what Clive would do if he had the sphere. In fact, I did not know if I had ever known what Clive intended to do with the sphere. However, it seemed likely that he wanted to connect me with the sphere so that Aputi’s dream would come true. “Clive wants to end all creation. Now, you don’t want that to happen do you?”

  “Are you sure about that?” said the sphere.

  “Why were you with him on the beach? Why were you with him when he followed me to Vermont? Are you going to tell me you don’t know what he wanted to do?” I wasn’t sure the sphere would remember this because it had happened in the future, but had enough knowledge to suspect that the sphere existed at all points in time simultaneously and therefore experienced everything in every point in time simultaneously. Further, I suspected that the sphere existed at only one location at a time and that I could put it in a location where it could not be found essentially for all time. I know this is confusing, and I am tempted to explain, but really would prefer
to continue with the story.

  “I’m not entirely sure what Clive is up to, but based on what you said about ending all creation, I’d say that you might want to ask yourself why Clive would want to end all creation.”

  I had already asked myself that question a number of times, and I did not have a good answer. Perhaps that wasn’t what Clive wanted to do. However, I did not know for sure, so I believed I had to hide the sphere.

  “Well, I’m not going to take any chances. I’m going to have to hide you.”

  “Where?” said the sphere.

  “I’m going to take you to heaven.” In this infinite set of universes, heaven and hell did exist, although they had not always existed in other universes. The black cube had allowed me to gain all of the memories of all of the beings in both of those places, of course, thus, my knowledge of their existence. Those memories allowed me to know that Clive had been to hell many times, but had never been to heaven, or, at least, that none of the inhabitants of heaven had ever seen Clive in heaven.

  I have to say, heaven was an absolutely wonderful place, and not what you might expect. Hell was…well, hell was hell, and as you might expect, was not a place you would want to visit. The strange thing about hell, however, was that none of the multitude of denizens of that place possessed nightmares that could rival Aputi’s completely nihilistic end of all creation nightmare, not even the demons. It seemed that living in those horrid conditions didn’t inspire anyone to want to end absolutely everything.

  “No way, Kev. I’m not going there. Not a single bad dream in that horrible place. It would be way too boring.”

  “Well, if you have a better idea, I’ll consider it.”

  “Look, Kev, I’m not all that interested in going into hiding. Now if you want to connect with me, I’d be more than happy to oblige, but I’m not going to hide.”

  I reached into the center of the Proth Sphere and released the Bezus containment field generator, activating it as I released it.