Under the Stars

by Chelsey Nichole

  “I’m part-owner of Printing Basic, a printing company outside of town.”

  I took another drink of my coffee. I looked him over, he was wearing a black polo with lighter jeans. He looked delicious, that was for sure. “Are you from here?”

  “No, my parents moved here from Florida and started the printing company with my older brother about ten years ago. My dad died about four years ago, and now my brother and I own the company. What about you?”

  “I’m from Florida, too.” I smiled. “Moved here when I got accepted to Duke.”

  “Are your parents still in Florida?”

  “I had foster parents who died a couple years ago. So it’s just me.” I coughed. “And my fiancé.”

  Yeah, Khlo, your fiancé!

  “Fiancé,” he whispered. The look in his eyes was heartbreaking.

  “I should probably get back to work.” I smiled as I stood, grabbing my coffee and throwing the trash away. “It was nice to run into you again.” His blue eyes smiled back and he waved as I walked across the street and into the safety of the office building.

  “Who’s the hottie?” Marie asked, scaring the ever-loving daylights out of me!

  “Who?” I asked, putting my hand on my chest, trying to control my breathing.

  “The guy you were chatting it up with over there. The one who’s still staring over here like he just saw God come back?”

  “Oh.” I giggled nervously. “Uh, that’s Cole. We ran into each other at the club over the weekend and just now he spilled his water on me.”

  “Hmm, that’s strange.”

  “Small town.”

  Marie rolled her eyes. “Remember that ring on your finger, “ she said as I walked back to my office.

  Before I knew it, it was growing dark outside and time to pack up and get home.

  I drove home in silence, lost in my own thoughts. Cole was familiar and I wasn’t sure why or how. He made me question myself and my relationship with Ben. Before I met him, Ben had been everything I wanted, he made me happy and I didn’t even believe that I could find that sort of happiness again. But then Cole came along, he didn’t even have to say anything about my relationship, but I could feel his questions.

  I pulled into our driveway, and through the front window I could see Ben sitting at the kitchen table with his files spread out all over it. He studied the pages, pen in his mouth, lightly chewing on it. His dark hair was messy and I knew his hand had been run through it several times.

  Why did I love this man? Why did I want to spend the rest of my life with him? Did he make me happy? These were questions that needed to be answered, and sooner rather than later.

  “Hey, baby,” Ben said as I walked through the front door.

  I set my briefcase down by the front door and smiled. “Hey.” I walked over to Ben and leaned down, giving him a kiss. “What are you working on?” I asked as I walked into the kitchen to begin preparing our dinner.

  “This divorce case again. I’ll be done shortly. How was your day?”

  The flowers … the note … the meeting with Cole … “Busy,” I breathed. “As usual.”

  “I understand that feeling.” He laughed.

  I finished making spaghetti and poured us both a glass of wine, pouring a little more into my glass. I’d likely drink the whole bottle before the night was over with.

  We sat down and ate, having light conversation, but my mind was jumbled as I twirled my engagement ring around on my finger. Ben was the best person out there for me; he had a steady job, a good job as a matter of fact. He loved me and respected my job, and most men wouldn’t do that.

  “Honey?”

  I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Ben.

  “Are you okay? You haven’t eaten or said anything in a while.”

  “Uh y-yeah,” I stumbled. “Just lost in my thoughts,” I said as I took another bite of spaghetti.

  “I’ll clean up, love.” He kissed the top of my head and picked up my plate.

  “I’m gonna go for a run.” I needed to run; maybe then I could clear my head. I drank the last of my wine and got up to set it by the sink.

  “Okay, be careful.”

  I changed into my lime green Nikes, tight black yoga pants, and my hot pink tank top. I pulled my hair up into a bun on the top of my head and grabbed my iPod and a bottle of water. I walked out of the house, stretching my legs and putting my headphones in, I had a lot to hash out. “Sweat it Out” by Breathe Carolina starts to blast into my ears; perfect running music.

  I took off, pushing myself harder and harder with each step, pounding my feet into the concrete, hoping it would get Cole out of my head. My life was perfect before he showed up, and I’ve only seen him twice, but something in me, something I had pushed away, deep in me, wanted to see him again, wanted him to show up.

  I shook my head. I’d lost it.

  I kept running, starting to breathe hard. Spring had arrived and with the cool nights, the air was welcomed in my lungs. I just wanted my life to be simple, to know exactly what I wanted. I hated being indifferent, and I hated having these feelings when I knew I was with Ben, creating a life with him.

  I twirled the ring again with my thumb. Yep, it’s still there.

  I ran until I reached the playground on the other side of the neighborhood, then stopped and took a long drink of my water. I reached up and pulled one earbud out of my ear as I opened the gate and walked into the playground area. I found a picnic table next to the swings and laid my body across the top so I could face the dark sky.

  We don’t really live out in the country, but we’re far away from the city where the stars are bright and twinkling. Stars are my escape, and when I was younger I used to sit on the roof, begging for the stars to take me as their own.

  “Home” by Michael Bublé started to play, and if I didn’t know any better, I would think my iPod knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I let the words sink down into my soul, getting lost in the music and the stars. My breathing evened out before too long, and when I sat up to take another drink of my water, I saw the blue eyes.

  He was walking towards me from the gate. “You come here often?” His deep voice rumbled into my core.

  I laughed. “I’m starting to think you’re stalking me,” I laid back on the picnic table, turning the music down.

  “You like the stars?” he asked as he climbed up on the picnic table and laid next to me.

  “When I’ve got a lot on my mind, staring at the stars helps.”

  “Same here. When I was in Iraq, I chose sitting outside my bunk and looking at the stars over sleeping.” He laughed.

  “Iraq?”

  “Yeah, I joined the Army when I was eighteen and got shipped to Iraq right after my training. Spent two years over there and then went back to my base in Kentucky.” He paused as I turned my head and looked at him. “After my four years were up, I re-enlisted and got another tour. After the eight years were over, I got out. Now I’m in the printing business. Well, supervising people.” He chuckled.

  “Well, at least it’s safer here than over there.”

  “Yeah,” he whispered. “Well, I should get going.” He sat up.

  I sat up and smiled. “Yeah, me too.” I looked down at my iPod. I’d been gone for almost two hours, and Ben would start getting worried before too long.

  I looked up and met Cole’s gaze. He leaned in and my breath hitched as he put his finger under my chin and pressed his lips to mine. My core ignited, begging for more. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, parting my lips as I accepted it, squeezing my eyes. I put my hands on his black shirt, fisting it, unsure if I wanted to pull him closer or push him away. After a moment, I pushed back and opened my eyes to see his steel blues staring at me. I put my fingers on my lips, touching them. Confusion passed through his eyes.

  “Khloe,” I heard him say, but I ignored him as I picked up my iPod and water and jumped off the picnic table. I began my run back home, terrified of what I had jus
t let happen.

  When I reached the gate, I turned to find him sitting in the exact spot, looking at me. I opened the gate and put my other earbud in my ear, letting “Seven Devils” by Florence + The Machine drown out the noise of my mind. I pounded my feet into the pavement back towards my house.

  My house.

  The one that I share with Ben, my fiancé.

  Well, shit, if I didn’t have a lot to think about before, I sure did now.

  I DIDN’T TELL BEN about my encounter with Cole, but he could tell I was frazzled when I got home from my run. I just chalked it up to pre-wedding jitters. I knew I couldn’t lie to him forever about what had happened, but right now was not the time to tell him, considering I didn’t even know what was going on in my own head.

  Something was familiar about Cole. The way his blue eyes stared into my soul, it was like we knew each other, had a deeper connection. I wanted to know more about him, find out what it was about him that attracted me to him, begged me to give part of myself to him. But, at the expense of Ben? I couldn’t.

  I twirled my ring around my finger, staring blankly out my window, watching the world moving along as I sat dumbfounded in my office chair.

  This was wrong on so many levels.

  But, what was holding me back from telling him to get lost?

  Or better yet, telling Ben?

  “I’m here. Spill it.” I looked up to see June standing in my doorway. She wore black leggings with her running shoes and a loose purple top. Her hair was done up in a messy bun, and she was holding a big water bottle in her hand. She shut my office door and sat down in the chair on the other side of my desk.

  I’d texted her last night and told her to come by because I needed to talk to her. I had to get this whole Cole situation out in the open. I had to tell someone, and it certainly wasn’t going to be Ben.

  I turned my chair to face her. “Where do I start?”

  “Anywhere would be fine, but I prefer the beginning.” She smiled as she took a long drink from her bottle.

  “Okay, smart ass, the beginning.” I paused. “At my bachelorette party, did you happen to catch the guy that was sitting next to me at the bar?”

  She looked at me, her eyes gently moving as if she was going through the memories from that night, trying to pick him out. “He was wearing a blue T-shirt, right? Dark blue?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Well, we kind of chatted at the bar and then you pulled me onto the dance floor and that was it. Then last week I went across the street to Starbucks for lunch, and he spilled water on me—”

  “Oh my gosh,” she says between fits of laughter. “He spilled his water on you?”

  “Very funny.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Anyways,” I rolled my eyes, “we sat and talked for a little bit until I had to get back to work. Then, last night after dinner, I went running to the neighborhood park. I laid down on a picnic bench and a couple of moments later, Cole came walking through the gate.”

  “Whoa. Is this guy stalking to you?” June asked seriously.

  I raised an eyebrow. “That’s not the part that worries me. He told me that he had to leave, and when I sat up next to him, he leaned over and kissed me.”

  June’s hands flew up to her mouth as it dropped open, and I’m pretty sure her jaw hit the floor.

  “And it wasn’t a peck. “ I blush. “We practically made out,” I breathed, watching her eyes get even bigger.

  “Shut up, Khloe!”

  “June, I liked it. It stirred something in me.” I sat down in my chair, then I stood back up, starting to twirl my engagement ring as I restlessly paced my office behind my desk. “It took me a minute to push him away. It was familiar. He is familiar.” I looked up at her, waiting for her to say something … anything.

  “Okay, so hold up. I think I’ve jumped off the crazy express.” She stood up and began pacing with me. “You met this complete stranger, who is also hot, just a couple of nights ago at the bar and the creeper has been stalking you since. Then, last night he kissed you?”

  “Creeper’s a harsh word,” I whispered, knowing she was dead right.

  “Walks like a duck … acts like a duck,” she sings.

  God, I hated her for being right. What the hell was I supposed to do? My head was telling me I needed to be honest with Ben and tell the creep—Cole—to get lost. But my heart was telling me there was more than meets the eye and I needed to question it.

  “Khloe, your wedding is less than six months away! Does Ben know about these “chance encounters”?”

  “Ben doesn’t know anything.”

  “What are you going to do?” she whispered.

  “That’s why I called you!” I threw my hands in the air.

  “Well, shit if I know.” She laughed nervously. “He is pretty hot.” She smiled. I looked at her with a straight face, crossing my arms across my chest. “What?”

  “I’m getting married, June! He’s making me question everything between Ben and me. He’s making me question everything I’ve worked my whole life for. Who does he think he is?” I was getting pissed now.

  “Well, if you’re questioning things between you and Ben, maybe you two aren’t meant to be because you shouldn’t be questioning anything.”

  “SHIT!”

  I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hit Cole. I wanted to kiss Cole again.

  We heard a phone ding and June grabbed her phone out of the waistband of her pants to read a text. “Well, I gotta go. Mr. Hotbooty is waiting for me,” she says, referring to her on-again, off-again booty call. June would never commit to a relationship, not even a booty call.

  I shrugged as I sat back in my chair. This had accomplished absolutely nothing. June walked over to my chair and grabbed my hand.

  “I’ll say this, babe. Don’t get married to a man that you’re not sure you can see forever with. I love you, and I’ll support you no matter what. But you need to do what’s best for you, regardless of what that is.”

  She smiled before walking out the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

  After more thinking and less working, I decided to go home for the day. June was right, as always. As I pulled up to my house, my phone rang with a text. I fished it out of my purse.

  Ben: Gonna be late, don’t wait up. xo

  Great, leave me alone with my head and heart even longer.

  Me: Okay. See ya when you get home. xo

  I put my phone away and headed inside. Looks like it’s a frozen dinner and Lifetime TV night.

  After dinner, I put on my jogging gear, grabbed my iPod and a bottle of water, and made my way back to the neighborhood park. The stars would help; they always did.

  As I jogged, I noticed lightening off in the distance. Weatherman said we were supposed to get rain, but I didn’t care. Maybe the rain would wash everything away so I could answer the questions replaying in my head.

  I arrived at the park and a little part of me was sad that Cole wasn’t there, but I needed this time alone. I laid on the picnic table, begging the stars for the answers I needed. I took a deep breath, a drink of my water, and calmed my breathing. Maybe June was right, maybe I needed to get away, to figure this out in my own time and in my own way. I couldn’t marry a man I was unsure of … could I?

  No.

  It wasn’t fair to Ben or to myself. I knew if I decided not to go through with the wedding then I was going to let down Ben. Ben was a nice guy. He loved me, seemed to need me, and hurting him would break both of our hearts. But just like June had said, I needed to do what was best for me.

  The first raindrops fell, and I decided it was time to get back home. I couldn’t hide out here forever with my head in the sky. By the time I got home, I was completely drenched, but I didn’t care. The cold rain felt good.

  I walked in the door to find Ben’s stuff on the table. I took off my shoes at the door and walked back to our bedroom to find him already in bed with the TV on.

  “Hey, babe. Did you enjoy your
run?” he asked, eyeing my drenched clothes.

  “I did. Shower time.” I winked, walking into our bathroom.

  As I stepped into the shower, I let the hot water wash the cold rain off my hair and skin. The hot water stung, but it was a welcomed pain. Pain was a feeling, and feeling meant I was still alive.

  I heard the shower door open and opened my eyes to see Ben stepping in, naked.

  I smiled.

  “Thought I’d join you.” He kissed me, running his hands down my body, coming to a rest on my hips. “I’ve been so busy with work, and you’ve seemed stressed out about the wedding. Tonight, let it go.” He kissed my neck. “Tonight, just you and me.”

  I closed my eyes and sighed.

  “You’re tense.” He started rubbing my shoulders.

  I gave a weak smile, pulling my eyebrows in, “I’m just so exhausted, I’m not in the mood.”

  “That’s okay, at least let me give you a massage? Help some of those muscles?”

  I smiled. “You are so sweet,” I kissed him as he began rubbing my shoulders under the hot water.

  Right now it was just me and him.

  And I cleared my head, not wanting to ruin this.

  I WOKE UP THE next morning to the alarm blaring in my ear. I lazily reached over and pressed snooze. How did five a.m. always come so quickly?

  “Good morning.” Ben rolled over, tucking his arm around me, pulling my back towards his chest.

  “Morning,” I replied feeling his arousal. “Coffee?”

  “Yeah. But they say sex wakes you up faster than coffee and it gives you more energy.” He laughed. I turned over on my back as he began kissing my neck.

  “Is that so?” I asked as I ran my fingers down his shirtless back.

  “Oh yes.”

  “Well, it might just have to wait.” I kissed his back before turning around and walking towards the bedroom door. “I’m gonna be late.” I smiled and I walked into the kitchen.“Are you gonna be late tonight?” I asked, refilling my coffee cup.