Under the Stars

by Chelsey Nichole

  “Probably. Court’s Monday, so I need to make sure I have everything I need ready to go. But I’ll text and let you know for sure before you get home.” He smiled, giving me a kiss on my way out the door. “I love you.”

  I sighed. “I love you, too.”

  I do love him, I thought to myself as I stepped into my car. I do …

  I got to work right as a delivery man was handing Marie a bouquet of pink lilies.

  “Khloe!” Marie said excitedly. “These are for you.”

  I grabbed the flowers and made my way to my office, quickly closing the door behind me. I took a long drink from my coffee before I decided to read the card.

  Chills radiated through my body. Should I be scared? What does that even mean?

  I threw the flowers in the trash, put the card in my drawer with the other one, and started my computer. Unable to concentrate, I walked over to the window and looked out. The floor to ceiling windows provided the perfect view of the morning crowd at Starbucks. As I watched the people coming and going, paper cups in hand, I felt someone watching me. I searched the crowds, but couldn’t find anyone. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

  I sat back down at my desk, turned on the radio, and began working. Working kept my mind off Cole, and that was a good thing. At least for now.

  From: Ben Hamilton

  To: Khloe Williams

  Miss you. Your day going well?

  xo,

  Ben

  I smiled. I loved how he was always thinking about me. Before meeting him, I’d dated Luke for eight months. He hadn’t cared about me or my day. All he’d cared about was sex. Then Ben came into the picture and showed me what a true man was and how he was supposed to treat his woman.

  From: Khloe Williams

  To: Ben Hamilton

  Miss you too. So far. Just busy. How is your day going?

  Yours,

  Khloe

  “Khloe.” I looked up from my computer to find Marie standing in my doorway. “Some of the girls from the office are going to the bar up the street after work if you want to go?” She smiled.

  “Uh, yeah. Mind if June joins us?”

  “No problem. We’re meeting at Red Door after work.” She turned on her five inch heels and made her way back to her desk. How she could wear those all day, and then all night stunned me.

  From: Ben Hamilton

  To: Khloe Williams

  Busy here too. I’ll be late again tonight. Don’t wait up. We need to talk about the wedding this weekend. I’ve noticed you’ve been extra stressed, so I got something to maybe relax you.

  xo,

  Ben

  From: Khloe Williams

  To: Ben Hamilton

  I’m going with some of the girls to Red Door down the road after work, I’ll be home afterwards. I can’t wait to see what you got. Love you.

  Yours,

  Khloe

  I heard a knock on my door and looked up, seeing Marie standing in the doorway. I quickly glanced at the time on my computer. It was a little after five.

  “Hey, I’m leaving and heading over to Red Door. You coming?”

  “Oh, yeah,” I paused. “Let me get all my stuff together and I’ll meet you over there.”

  “Sounds good.”

  She smiled as she turned around. My phone dinged. I picked it up off my desk and looked at it.

  June: Hey I’m out front waiting. Hurry!

  She was never late to a bar, that was for sure.

  I put everything away, grabbed my purse and made my way outside. June was sitting on a bench right out front of my office.

  Hey, babe,” she greeted me as I closed the office door behind me and locked it.

  “Hey, girl.” I put my keys in my purse as we started the short walk to Red Door.

  “Your day okay?” she asked as we fell in step with one another.

  “Just a lot on my mind, ya know?”

  She nodded. “I know, girl. It’ll all work out in the end.”

  “I hope,” I said as we approached the front of the bar. I opened the door and we made our way inside. Pool tables and tables with two seats were scattered around the front area of the bar. The actual bar was at the very back and curved around into a L-shape. We immediately located Marie at the bar in the back.

  “Hey, I guess we’re the only ones. The other girls backed out,” she said as we sat down next to her.

  “We’re pretty awesome anyway.” June laughed.

  I smiled as the bartender came over and June ordered a round of shots and I ordered a margarita. I needed something to take the edge off and fog my thinking just a little.

  “So,” Marie started, “did you ever find out who sent you those flowers?”

  June’s mouth dropped.

  Shit, I thought, I forgot to tell her about that.

  “Uh,” I stumbled, “no, I never figured it out.” The bartender set our shots and my margarita down. I took a long pull from the straw, letting the cold liquid rush down my throat.

  “Who were the flowers from, Khloe Jean?”

  My eyes snapped to my best friend. Just like my foster mother, she used my middle name when she meant business. I swallowed another drink. “I don’t know. Truly, I don’t.”

  She rolled her eyes and grabbed her shot glass. Yep, she’d be bringing this up later, that was for damn sure. Marie and I followed suit and grabbed our shots. We looked at June, expecting her to say a little toast.

  “Well, fuck boys. You girls are for life.” She smiled and looked at us like what she’d said was worthy of a trophy. Marie and I busted out laughing.

  “I’ll cheers to that,” Marie said, tossing her shot back. June and I tossed ours back next. Gah, that stinging feeling was completely welcomed in the back of my throat.

  We continued to mingle and talk about nothing worth noting. It felt nice to just hang out with the girls, like I had no worries in the world.

  June stopped drinking after her shot and a beer and continued with water the rest of the night. I, on the other hand, couldn’t tell you which way was up and which way was down. I lost count of the margaritas after the first three.

  My phone buzzed and I tried looking at it, but it kept morphing into two phones and I couldn’t read two text messages at the same time. June finally took my phone and read the text out loud to me.

  “Uh, Ben is texting you. Wants to know what time you’re going to be home.”

  “S-shit. W-What time is it?”

  “Almost one.”

  “What!” I stood up from stool, stumbling. I grabbed the side of the bar trying to prevent an ugly fall. “I-I gotta go, June, gotta goooo.” I tried reaching for my purse on the back of my barstool but the barstool kept moving, so I stopped and sighed loudly.

  “Uh, I don’t think you’ll be driving,” June said as she grabbed my purse and her fingers moved on my phone.

  “I’m fine, but I think you’re right!” I laughed.

  “Fine, my ass. Goodnight, Marie. Will you be okay getting home?”

  My stomach dropped on the floor.

  Cole stood in the doorway.

  Oh, fuck me. This cannot be happening!

  He looked sexy as hell with his hands shoved into his jean pockets, and dressed in a white T-shirt, and a black knit beanie hat.

  I needed to get out of here. The air was suddenly too thick for both of us, and I thought I was gonna be sick.

  June grabbed me and we slowly made our way to the door. Cole stepped out of the way and we made eye contact.

  Yep, I’m gonna be sick, was my thought just before I threw up all over June. I could hear her yelling at me before everything went black.

  WHEN I WOKE UP, I was lying in bed dressed in only one of Ben’s t-shirts. I slowly opened my eyes. The light streaming into my room was blinding and the low volume of the TV was going to make my head explode.

  I wanted to yell for Ben, but the thought of yelling made me cringe. What had happened last night?

  I slowly sat up,
pulling the sheets over my body. On my nightstand was a tray covered with a glass of orange juice, a piece of toast, two pills, a bottle of water, and a mug of black coffee. I smiled. Ben was amazing.

  I must have taken a shower last night because my hair was still damp. I grabbed the water bottle and pills and noticed a white piece of paper under the bottle.

  I got a horrible, panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach, hoping that I hadn’t rambled off a whole bunch of useless crap. Crap that I’d been trying to keep hidden. My head started to pound. I turned on the morning news and relaxed in bed, letting the black coffee wipe away the residual of the nasty alcohol.

  After my cup of coffee, I decided I better get up and get dressed. Ben had texted me and said he was on his way home, and I knew I was avoiding the inevitable. I dressed in my dark skinny jeans and a white T-shirt.

  Shit!

  Memories of last night suddenly came flooding back to me.

  Cole.

  Cole was at the bar last night. He was there when I was leaving.

  He saw me. We made eye contact.

  I ran to my bathroom and dry heaved into the toilet. Why was he there? I’d been drunk … very drunk.

  I brushed my teeth and put my hair into a ponytail. I needed to run. I needed to cleanse my body. I changed into yoga pants and a tank top, then grabbed my iPhone and a water bottle and headed out the door.

  I needed to try and clear my head once again.

  I stretched my legs, closing my eyes, welcoming the feeling, and I ran. I ran harder and faster than I have in a while. I ran like I was running from my future. Like I was running from my past.

  Ben was my soulmate. He’d been with me through everything. He’d accepted my past, and he’d made it known that he was my future. He worshipped me. He loved me with all of my faults. So, if I loved him so much, why in the hell could this Cole guy come into my life and set off a bomb? A bomb that has gone off in my head and has just turned everything to shit? I didn’t understand it.

  I always thought when you loved someone, truly loved someone, nobody could break that up. And that if anyone tried to, you wouldn’t even give it a second thought? But I’d given it so many second thoughts that I’d lost track.

  I finally stopped running when my phone buzzed on my arm. My breathing was heavy, and I took a long pull from my water bottle, the cold liquid cooling me from the inside out. I walked over to a bench and sat down, trying to regulate my breathing. The sweat poured off of me, but it was getting rid of the nasty toxins from last night. It was a wonderful feeling.

  I took my phone off my arm and turned off “Gunpowder and Lead” by Miranda Lambert to see that I had three missed calls all from Ben. I looked at the time, it was almost three, so I sent him a quick text letting him know where I was and that I was headed back. I put the phone back on my arm, “Fight For Your Right” by Beastie Boys blasting in my ears, and took one more long drink from my water bottle before I began my run home.

  When I got home, I found Ben sitting in a chair on the back porch looking into the woods that lined the back of our house. I turned off my iPhone, set it on the kitchen counter, and went to join him.

  I sat down in the chair, pulling my legs up so I could rest my chin on my knees. I looked at Ben, but he didn’t look back at me.

  “So,” his voice was low, almost a whisper, “you told me some things last night that made me worried.”

  Shit!

  “Do you remember?”

  “Uh, no. I remember throwing up on myself and June, and then waking up this morning.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

  “You said you’ve met a guy and you’re unsure about your feelings.” He turned and looked at me. He had been crying.

  “Ben—”

  He held his hand up. “I don’t want to know about him.” He stood to his feet and started pacing in front of me. “Khloe, I’ve been there for you through everything. We’re supposed to be getting married.” He paused, looking at me twirling my engagement ring on my finger. I’d been doing that a lot lately.

  “I know,” I whispered.

  “If you know, then why are you suddenly having feelings for a complete stranger?”

  “I don’t know, Ben. I don’t!”

  The tears fell from his eyes. I had never seen him cry, and it was breaking off every piece of my heart. I stood.

  “Don’t.” He stepped back.

  “Please, Ben, I do love you.”

  “I know you love me, Khloe, but I’m unsure if you’re still in love with me.”

  His words cut me, deep. Was I in love with him?

  “Listen, you need to figure that out. I deserve to be happy and so do you.” He paused, his next words hitting him hard. “Even if that’s not together,” he whispered.

  The tears fell down my cheeks. It was always supposed to Ben and Khloe, but he was right. I needed to get my shit together, I needed to figure out what I wanted. He deserved that. I deserved that, too.

  “There’s a farm across the street from the ocean with a cottage that the owners rent out. I rented it … for you.” He pulled a paper out of his pocket. “I rented it so we could have a weekend away and allow you to de-stress some, but I’ve now rented it out for as long as you need it. I want you to go there and think about this.” He waved his hand around us. “Think about what you want.” He stepped forward, holding my face with his hand.

  I leaned into his hand, praying these feelings of another man would leave me just as quickly as they’d come on.

  “You take as long as you need. Either way, I’ll respect your decision and you know I’ll always love you.” He kissed my forehead. “I packed a bag for you and filled up your gas tank. You need to leave now.”

  I nodded. The tears had turned into rivers, and I was pretty sure a knife had permanently lodged itself in my heart. I walked back to our bedroom and saw two bags sitting on the bed with my purse next to it. I grabbed my purse as Ben grabbed my two bags. We walked out to the car in silence. He popped the trunk to my Mercedes and put the bags in the back, then closed the trunk as I slid into my seat and started the car up.

  “Khloe, I hope you realize what we have, and I hope that when you come home you feel for me the same way I feel for you.” He smiled as he shut my door. I backed out of the driveway and headed towards the beach.

  The next two hours were spent in silence, my sobs letting me know that this was reality.

  And that I really hurt this much.

  I PULLED UP TO the entrance of the farm and stopped my car to look down the drive. It led to a small cottage with trees lining the driveway. I made my way to the cottage and parked next to a black truck. I flipped down the visor and looked in the mirror. My eyes were puffy, and my face was splotchy and red from crying the whole way here.

  I took a deep breath and got out. The fresh, salty air was welcomed on my face. As I looked around, I noticed two more cottages off in the distance and the ocean just a short walk away. I couldn’t wait to get settled in and go for another run. I loved running on the beach.

  I opened the door and saw a middle-aged, overweight man with dark hair standing behind the counter. He looked up when I closed the door.

  “Hello, sweetheart. What can we do for ya?”

  “Hi.” I made my way to the counter and showed him the paper with my reservations. “My fiancé made me a reservation to stay in one of the cottages. Khloe Williams. Or it could be under Ben Hamilton.”

  He opened a big binder and began flipping through the pages. “Ah, here ya are.” He smiled as he pointed to a paper. “You’re in cottage A. Just follow this path until you come to a fork, then go left and all the way down to the end. You don’t have a checkout date, so whenever you’re ready to go, just let us know.” He handed me a key.

  “Housekeeping comes by around ten every morning, just like a hotel, so if ya don’t want them to disturb you, just put the flyer on the outside of your door. If you have any questions about what’s good to eat or anything arou
nd town, just call the front desk and we can give you all that information. Is there anything else, Ms. Williams?”

  “Uh, no. I think that answers everything.” I smiled. “Thank you.”

  “Enjoy your stay. My name is Malcolm if you have any questions.” He smiled as I turned and headed back to the door.

  He was nice enough, maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.

  I got back in my car and drove to my cottage. It was a small, white house with a front porch and two rocking chairs on either side of the front door. I grabbed my suitcases and walked up the two steps. I slid my key in and opened the door. Warm chocolate colors welcomed me in. The floor to ceiling windows on either side of the back door were open with white sheer curtains flowing with the wind.

  I set my suitcases down and put my keys on the small table by the door. There was a TV, a couch, and a recliner with beach pictures on the walls. The kitchen was open with a small counter space, appliances, and a bar with dark cherry wood stools. The hallway led me to the bedroom with the same floor to ceiling windows and white curtains hanging over them. Inside was a king size poster bed with a white feather down comforter, and white sheer curtains hanging from the posters.

  I couldn’t get over the ocean view from my bedroom window. I walked across the hall to the bathroom. It had a huge, walk-in shower with granite tiling the shower and two shower heads. I could get used to this. It was quaint, yet grand.

  I grabbed my suitcases from the living room and began unpacking them into the closet and dresser in my room. I should get comfortable; no telling how long I’d be here.

  When I finished, I put the suitcases on the top of the shelves of the closet and redid my hair since some had fallen down. My phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “So,” June started, “I went by your house to make sure you were okay since you decided to throw your guts up last night … on me.”

  “Yeah, sorry….”

  “And guess who greets me, before I can even knock? Ben. He informs me that you rattled off some shit about not knowing how you felt for another guy and that you’re worried marrying Ben is the wrong choice.”