Casualties of Love

by Denise Riley

  ******

  Tyson’s breath forced its way past his clenched teeth and lips as he buried his face into the soft hair at the side of Jessica’s head. He strained to contain the roar that clawed at the back of his throat. He’d just come so hard that he was surprised he could still stand. He was even more surprised that he wanted more. Right now, so quickly after that kind of release. He could feel the need gnawing at his gut again. Jessica was still trapped between him and the door. Her breath was softly flowing past his ear. He needed more, but Jessica was unmoving and silent, and how he’d just taken her - quick, hard, and rough - replayed rapidly in his brain. Tyson closed his eyes to try to center himself.

  “Jessica, are you alright?”

  Tyson felt her head moving against his in a nod.

  “Jess,” he started again. “Did I hurt you?” She shook her head, but he needed to hear her say the words. Everything had been so hot and fast - hell he still had on his clothes - he couldn’t be sure that he hadn’t been too rough with her. “Jess?”

  “You didn’t hurt me.”

  “Then, why won’t you look at me?”

  Jessica shrugged and then turned her face to his. Tears were shining in her eyes and Tyson frowned.

  “You should put me down. Your leg doesn’t need the strain,” she stated softly.

  Tyson didn’t really want to put her down or even remove himself from the warm confines of her soft body, but he separated them and lowered her to the floor as she unwrapped her legs. She moved away from him, and Tyson immediately missed her. When she turned her back, he shook his head. He removed his shirt and stepped out of the pants that were now pooled around his ankles.

  God, he couldn’t bear it if he’d hurt her. He’d been so angry earlier, when she’d talked about going home. It was anger that had been born of fear. He knew it now, though he wouldn’t admit it earlier. He knew it was because he didn’t know how he’d get over losing her a second time. But even in that anger he’d never want to hurt her. Not purposely or in a fit of lust.

  “Jess, if I hurt you...”

  “You didn’t hurt me, Tyson. I’m fine.”

  “Why the tears then? Do you regret what just happened between us?”

  “No! No, I need to tell you what happened at the Academy. You deserve to know. I need for you to know...” her voice trailed off and Tyson moved to stand behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders and his dipped his head to put his lips to her cheek. “I don’t want to disappear,” she said. “I know I said whatever you decided was fine, but I don’t want to walk away to nothing and I don’t want you to walk away, either.”

  “Then don’t, Jessica. We don’t have to leave here and act like everything that has happened between was just passing the time.” He paused. “And...Maybe you don’t have to tell me what happened, Jess. It’s been years. Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore.”

  Tyson was to the point where he wasn’t sure it would do their situation any good for him to know her secrets.

  “It does,” she said. “You could decide that you don’t want to see me after you know. It matters because it could change your mind about me.”

  Tyson didn’t think it would, but conceded to the possibility. At the moment though, he didn’t care. He didn’t really care if she ever told him. He just wanted to be with her.

  “Ok. But you don’t have to tell me tonight.” Tyson turned Jessica so that she was facing him. He tipped her head up so that she looked into his face. “Just stay with me. Because, I want you, too. So much, Jess.” He kissed her slowly.

  She nodded and Tyson kissed her again. He didn’t want to think about the fact that he’d been so angry with her over her announcement about her ending tour because he was afraid she’d go home and throw away everything that had happened between them here. He didn’t want to think about all the reasons he probably had no right to be angry or about why he was so flipping glad to hear her say she didn’t want to walk away again. He didn’t want to think about the things she still needed to explain. Not about what had happened in their lives while they’d been separated. And, not about the fact that he hadn’t a clue how all the sex and emotions and uncertainties between them would conclude. He just wanted to be with her again. He knew he’d want the same thing the next day, for a long as she was there, and even after she left. He’d worry about what to do about it later.

  Tyson backed them into the room until they were near his bed. He broke the kiss and they moved to the mattress together, her beneath him. Jessica’s body cradled his and the erection that had never really dissipated surged in response. As if on instinct, her thighs parted for him and Tyson entered her still-wet passage.

  “Yes,” she whispered on a sexy sigh.

  Their warm bodies melded together as if formed especially for one another. Her hands were gripping his neck, her fingers curled into the short hairs at the base of his head. One of his hands was digging into her hair while the other held her left leg up next to his hip. Tyson stroked her deeply but with unhurried, languorous motions. He wanted to savor every sensation as he moved in and out of her, slowly pushing his shaft through the tight, pulsing cluster of muscles inside her body. He could feel the stiff bud of her swollen clitoris rubbing against his hard flesh. It was wonderful, glorious; it was beautiful.

  She was beautiful, with her dark hair spread around her pretty face. Her chocolate eyes were glassy and bright in the dim light of the room. Her mouth was pouty and puffy. Tyson could see the pink flesh of her tongue just between her slightly parted lips. He wanted to suck on it, to stroke it with his own. Jessica’s smooth bronze skin was glowing with the light sheen of sweat being worked up between them. He was suddenly struck by how lovely she was. How feminine and sensual. He was struck by how exceptionally right it felt to have her dark body cradling his lighter body, to lose himself inside of her over and over. Nothing had ever compared to it, and Tyson knew that nothing ever would.

  He loved her.

  “Baby,” he said against her lips. “My sweet baby.”

  “Yes,” she breathed out in agreement.

  He still loved her.

  Had never stopped.

  There was no real shock in the realization. If there was any wonderment at all it was because of the fact that he wasn’t surprised by his own conclusion. And something inside of him knew that Jessica felt the same. She loved him, too. He knew it. But he wondered if it would change anything, if in the end, it would matter. Like the other stuff he didn’t want to think about, he shoved that thought to the back of his brain and focused on the woman in his arms.

  Tyson kissed Jessica, so deep it stole his breath and hers. But he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t release her sweet mouth as he slipped in and out of her body. He would kiss her until their lungs burned, just to keep the feeling he was experiencing. In the way that she hung on to him, Tyson knew it was all right, that Jessica didn’t mind. She wanted to be lost in him in the same way that he was lost in her. Tasting and stroking. Licking and caressing and pushing. On and on they went until their hearts thudded out a rapid beat, and the undeniable draw of fulfillment began to reel them in.

  “Come for me, Jess.”

  Tyson heard Jessica moan as her sex clamped down on his broad shaft. He buried himself as deep as he could go and held on to her.

  “That’s it, baby. Come for me.”

  And she did. Tyson felt the ripples and trembles that signaled her orgasm. He felt the liquid heat of her climax flow around his bare, aching rod. The wave of pleasure that it caused pulled him under and he happily succumbed to the drowning sensation. With no control to stop it, Tyson felt his body convulse in intense, back bowing release. His seed jetted into the soft clutches of Jessica’s core. Nothing, he thought again. Nothing in the world compared to this and nothing ever would.

  Chapter 12

  Tyson was in heaven and hell. He spent all of Jessica’s free time with her. The rest of the time, he adopted Marcus’ routine, that is, minus the flirting. Therapy,
visits to buddies, roaming the base, rinse and repeat until Jessica found him or he found her. He and Marcus were both itching to get back to work. Jones was much closer to that than he was and damn if it didn’t make Tyson jealous. It also made him worried.

  He didn’t want Marcus out in the field without him. Tyson took his self-appointed mission of keeping Marcus Jones alive very seriously. Marcus wasn’t reckless, but Tyson knew that Marcus felt like he was the one with nothing to lose. No wife or kid, no other family to cry if he didn’t make it back. But that wasn’t true. His friends would be devastated. It didn’t matter that they weren’t blood; they were still family.

  Tyson was getting edgy though. He needed to work. He was even jealous of Jessica who got to go out with her unit all the time. That is, he was jealous when he wasn’t worried about her. He surmised that what he was experiencing was much like what his and other’s family members went through each day that they were deployed. He wondered if anything would happen, if someone was watching her six, if she was taking risks. It was hell until she showed up. Then, he’d jump her and make love to her until she was screaming his name. That was heaven.

  The last two nights had been torture. She hadn’t come back from the field. He was pretty sure she wasn’t hurt. He’d asked and nothing had been radioed in. But he’d spent the time thinking of her, worrying about her, and wishing she were lying next to him...naked. It was never far from his mind, how much time they had left together in country. Four weeks and he was pretending not to count the frickin’ minutes and seconds. He didn’t want her to leave. Well he did; nobody wanted any other Soldier to be stuck in Afghanistan indefinitely. What he didn’t want was to be without her. He didn’t know what was going to happen when they went back to the US. Though they’d both agreed they didn’t want to walk away to nothing, they had not really articulated what that meant. Thinking about that was a little bit of hell, too.

  “Just ran into your girlfriend,” Marcus said as he walked into Tyson’s room. The guy never knocked. Jones, had annoyingly, taken note of the amount of time Tyson was spending with Jessica and had no shortage of commentary on the topic, particularly since he’d found out when she was leaving. “And I don’t mean the pretty little brunette you’re shacking up with back home. I’m talking about the super-sexy Black chick that you’ve taken to spending all your time with.”

  “Don’t call her sexy,” he growled.

  “You don’t think she’s sexy?” Marcus asked. He was being a jerk.

  “Of course I think she’s sexy. I don’t want you thinking she’s sexy.”

  “What am I? Blind?” Marcus shook his head. “Just cause she’s sort of your girl, doesn’t make her invisible to the rest of us.”

  Tyson didn’t miss Marcus’ meaning or tone with the “sort of your girl” bit. He knew that Marcus had a problem with him continuing things so heavy with Jessica and not, yet, coming clean about his girlfriend in North Carolina...his live-in girlfriend. He’d told Marcus about Bethany’s calls. And, Marcus had picked up on his efforts to ensure he never talked to Bethany while Jessica was around. The fact of the matter was that he didn’t know how to bring up Bethany with Jessica. And he didn’t know what he wanted to say if he did bring her up.

  Yes, they lived together, but they had been having issues for some time before he left. Yes, he had been willing to try to work things out with her when he returned, but that was long before he’d found Jessica again. And before, Bethany had basically stopped calling, cut him off. He had figured he’d go home to find her moved out of his place. Now, she was calling again. And…well, he just didn’t know. Which frustrated him. Which meant he didn’t want to take shit from Marcus Jones about it.

  “You got a problem with me and Sergeant Watts, Lieutenant?”

  Marcus looked at him for a few seconds, not speaking. Then he raised a brow.

  “Is that really how you wanna play this?”

  Tyson let out a huge sigh and, barely, refrained from rolling his eyes.

  “No, man, but, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

  “I don’t want you to tell me anything. You need to talk to Jess, not me. And you need to get her to talk to you. Stop pussy-footing around what happened between you two. I know she’s tried to tell you.”

  “How?”

  “Because she told me. She’s afraid to open up, so she’s taking advantage of your willingness to let it rest. But you know you want to know. You need to know.”

  “Why are you harping on this? She and I haven’t even...defined what’s going on between us. Maybe none of this matters.” Tyson knew that was a load of crap, but he said it anyway.

  “I’m harping on it, because you have not defined what’s going on between the two of you and it does matter. This is not some passing thing for Jessica, Ty and she deserves your respect.”

  “Marcus, you know me well enough to know I’m not playing her.”

  “Not purposely. But, while you’re figuring shit out, chatting it up with Bethany behind her back, Jessica is thinking this is going somewhere. Somewhere that you might later decide is not where you want to be. Because you’re letting Jessica avoid telling you the truth. And, because you already have a woman.”

  Tyson gritted his teeth at Marcus’ over-exaggerated emphasis on the words. The asshole just kept talking though.

  “Speaking of your woman, what about Bethany in all this?”

  “You’re worked up about Bethany? You don’t even like Bethany.”

  “It’s not that I don’t like her. Ok, so I don’t like her, but don’t string her along. I do like Jessica, though. She’s a good woman. I consider her a friend now and you know I don’t take to just anybody.”

  “It’s complicated,” Tyson hedged.

  “Yeah, well, a lot of things are, buddy. I don’t know what went down between you two, but whatever it was she still doesn’t deserve to get burned. She’s in love with you, man.”

  “Maybe,” Tyson said.

  “Fuck that. I know it and so do you.”

  Tyson knew Marcus was right. He thought about the night before Jessica went out with her unit a couple of days ago. She’d stayed with him, had fallen asleep in his arms. Bethany’s call had chimed on his machine. The first time he’d ignored it, but she’d called back about an hour later. Jessica began to stir, so Tyson had slipped out of bed and taken the machine in the bathroom to quickly answer the call. He’d told Bethany that he couldn’t talk, that he was really beat from a long day and needed to sign off quickly. She’d conceded and they’d ended the connection with his promise to call her back as soon as he was up to it. Then he’d closed down the computer and slipped back into bed behind Jessica. He had felt like crap. When she’d asked him where he’d gone off to, he’d told her it was his sister and that he hadn’t wanted to wake her up. He’d lied to her. He had never lied to her. After that, he’d felt lower than crap because she’d believed him and wedged herself back into the warmth of his body.

  “Where is she?”

  “Who?” Marcus said, purposely being obtuse.

  “Stop being an be an ass. Where was Jessica when you saw her?”

  “She was going to her barracks. They’re headed back out. You might be able to catch her, if you’re quick.”

  Tyson ran out to look for Jessica, but he was too late. Her unit had already left for the Afghan border. He made up his mind to really talk to her when she got back. Marcus was right. She deserved the truth about Bethany, and he needed to stop pretending he didn’t need to know the truth about what happened with them years ago. It was time to man up and quit stalling.

  Chapter 13

  Kendall Green was frantic. Jessica had been brought in on a stretcher. She was unconscious and there was blood all over her uniform. Shit. Shit, shit, shit!

  “Come on, Jess. Don’t do this to me,” Kendall muttered. She didn’t want to lose her friend. Not another one, she thought desperately. Kendall was cutting through layers of clothing while everyone was
scrambling to help the wounded that had been brought in. She had to get the blood-soaked uniform off of Jessica so she could see where all the blood was coming from. She feared the woman had a wound that would cause her to bleed out before they could figure out what was wrong. Plus, Kendall hoped she could get the clothes off of Jessica before Tyson showed up. If he saw all the blood, he was likely to freak. She knew the two of them hadn’t worked out all of their past issues, but she also knew Tyson was in love with her friend. It was as plain as day.

  Marcus had seen them bring Jess in and had immediately taken of to get Tyson. Kendall had tried to stop him, but he had said that Tyson needed to know. He was right, of course. Good, bad, or otherwise, the man would have to deal with the outcome. As she was pulling the ripped shirt away, Tyson ran into the curtained space where Kendall was working on Jessica. Marcus was hovering at the edge of the slight barrier with a grim look on his face.

  “Jesus. Jess,” he said as he approached the table. His tone was laced with fear. “There’s so much blood, Kendall. What happened?”

  “I don’t know. They got hit. IED probably. I need to get these clothes off of her to see where the blood is coming from.”

  She started ripping clothes away and Tyson reached in to help. She normally would have sent him away, but everyone was busy so she could use the help. The Specialist that was helping her was helping out two others, too. She shouted at Marcus to go get her some supplies. He ran off, while she and Tyson discarded Jessica’s clothes. Jessica groaned, but didn’t open her eyes.

  “Jess?” Kendall called. “Can you hear us?”