Circumstantial Memories

by Carol Ericson

  She shook her head and yanked a paper towel from the dispenser. He would’ve told her…unless he didn’t want the relationship anymore. And why would he? He remembered Julia Rousseau as a sophisticated party girl, not this broken, pathetic woman who jumped at her own shadow.

  Her body jerked when someone tapped on the bathroom door.

  “Julia, are you all right in there?” Ryder opened the door a crack.

  “I’m fine. Give me a minute.” She plowed through her purse and dug out her makeup bag. She blotted her red nose with some powder and brushed black mascara on her eyelashes. Rose lipstick completed the repairs and she shoved out of the bathroom.

  Ryder and Jim, heads together, huddled outside Jim’s office. Were they plotting their next assault on her mind?

  They looked up with matching frowns when she cleared her throat. “Don’t look so worried. I’m good. I think it was a great session. If you hadn’t pulled me out, Jim, I’m sure I would’ve remembered precisely what happened at that bungalow in Tucson and how I wound up in that stolen car.”

  “You were stressing out. We’ll get there.” Jim leaned a shoulder against the wall.

  “Good. There are other things I need to explore.” Her gaze swept to Ryder’s face and then back to Jim’s. “Maybe after a while I won’t even need hypnosis to get there.”

  “That’s what I’m hoping. You need some quiet time every night before you go to bed to let the memories wash over you. They’ll come.”

  “Would you like to get something to eat while we’re in Durango?” Ryder checked his watch. “Maybe dinner?”

  “Sure, I’ll call Millie and let her know I’ll be late picking up Shelby.”

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” Jim hugged her, pulling her body close to his for a moment, his hand hovering over her loose hair.

  She stiffened. Jim had always been affectionate with her, but at times his touch felt more like a caress and occasionally his e-mails and phone calls veered more toward the personal than the professional. For a patient with no family and no past the personal touch worked, but under Ryder’s watchful eye she backed out of Jim’s embrace.

  “I could use a drink, but I’m fine.”

  “And something to eat.” Ryder grabbed her hand, pulling her out of Jim’s sphere. “Is it okay if I leave the truck in the parking structure, Jim? There’s a great steak house down the street, and we can walk from here.”

  Jim’s gaze flicked over their clasped hands. “No problem. Julia, we’ll discuss what came out of the hypnosis next week. I have one more patient for the day. Have a nice evening and try to relax. We made great progress today.”

  As they headed down the hallway, Ryder squeezed her hand. “You done good, kiddo.”

  “I didn’t remember everything that happened in Tucson. I can’t remember Jeremy’s face and I don’t know how I managed to snare a stolen car packed with cash.” She screwed up her face. “I don’t know why I risked giving sensitive information to Jeremy to save your life.”

  “You’re a loyal friend.” He kissed the side of her head. “But I never would’ve allowed you to make that trip if I’d known what you were up to.”

  He punched the elevator button and then cocked his head. “How do you know that CD contained sensitive information?”

  “Makes sense, doesn’t it? Otherwise, I could’ve dropped it in the mail. No, Jeremy wanted me to hand-deliver that disc.”

  The elevator rumbled down to the lobby of the building and placing his hand against the small of her back, Ryder steered Julia toward the front door. “Let’s give your brain a break and satisfy some of those primal needs.”

  Julia dropped her lashes and shot a glance at Ryder from beneath them. It had been a while since she’d thought about her primal needs, but Ryder McClintock had all the equipment to satisfy them.

  After a heavy meal of steak and potatoes, Julia leaned her head back against the leather banquette. “I feel like I’ve been talking about me and Shelby all through dinner. What about you? Why’d you leave this beautiful place for a life of secrets in foreign places?”

  “You’ve met the McClintock bunch. Isn’t it obvious?”

  She swirled her ruby-colored merlot, which Ryder knew to order for her without even asking. “Your stepmother’s a control freak, your father’s autocratic, your older brother, Rod, seems to be following in his boot steps, and your younger brother, Rafe, came back to Silverhill after working as a cop in L.A. just to prove to them that he had his own sphere of authority.”

  Ryder grinned and tossed his napkin on the table. “You just about nailed that. Now you know why I left.”

  “To prove yourself, but you took an extreme route.”

  “I didn’t need to prove myself.” He twisted the napkin. “I just don’t like being ordered around like some clueless ranch hand.”

  Did she lose her social skills along with her memory? She had no right to poke and prod at Ryder. Her fingers danced along the grooves between his knuckles. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to judge you. I just know that with two larger-than-life figures like Ralph and Rod McClintock looming over my shoulder, I’d feel like I had to prove something.”

  The grin returned and his fist flattened out beneath her hand. “Touchy subject, but then you never did mince words. Are you sure you don’t want dessert?”

  “I’m good. I’m anxious to get home to Shelby.”

  “I don’t blame you.”

  “D-do you have children? Here I’m assuming you’re not married.”

  Ryder slid out of the booth and turned to get his hat from the rack on the side of the booth. “I’ve never been married and I don’t have kids.”

  She caught the sigh of relief before it escaped from her lips. Although Ryder’s unmarried state pleased her, she’d never seen a bachelor handle a little girl like Ryder handled Shelby. He’d make a great dad someday.

  They left the restaurant and strolled along the sidewalk back to the medical building that housed Dr. Brody’s office.

  “I hope Dr. Brody was right and it was okay to leave the truck in the parking lot.” Ryder quickened his pace as they drew closer to the parking garage.

  “It should be fine.”

  Forgoing the elevator, they climbed the steps to the second floor of the parking structure and banged through the metal door. Just a few cars remained in spaces on the far end of the lot, Ryder’s truck among them.

  “What the hell?” Ryder stiffened beside her and then covered the distance to his truck with his long stride while she hurried behind him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “My tire’s flat.” Ryder crouched behind the truck and swore. “Both of my back tires are flat.”

  A spiral of fear zinged up Julia’s spine as her gaze darted between the two tires. Both of them had ragged gashes along the inside and outside. “Ryder, someone slashed your tires.”

  He pushed off the bumper and circled to the front of the truck. “They did a number on the front tires too and smeared my windshield.”

  Julia leaned around him to peer at the windshield and then clutched her stomach. Someone didn’t just smear the windshield. Someone had left a message: Leave or die.

  Chapter Five

  Julia swayed against Ryder, and he caught her. “What’s wrong?”

  Then he saw the words on his windshield and hot anger thudded in his veins. Did Julia’s stalker follow them here? Was this some kind of warning for him?

  “It’s him, isn’t it?”

  She spoke the words against his chest, and he felt her warm breath through his shirt. He held her close, his gaze tracking through the parking garage. The coward hit and then ran.

  “This message is for you, Ryder.” A tremble rolled through her body. “He must’ve seen us together. He’s going to come after you now.”

  “I hope he does.” He smoothed his hands down her back, soothing away the ripples of fear. “Because he owes me a new set of tires. Underwear, tires, this guy’s going to rack u
p a big bill by the time he’s through with his juvenile games.”

  “Do you think that’s all it is?”

  Maybe yes, maybe no, but he didn’t want to frighten Julia any further. She’d been through enough today with memories of Jeremy’s death galloping through her head.

  Ryder didn’t fear for his own safety, but if this guy was crazy enough to follow them to Durango, slash a set of expensive tires and write a warning on his windshield, he posed a grave threat to Julia. And possibly to Shelby.

  “We’ll let the cops figure it out.” He slid his cell phone out of his pocket and called the Durango Sheriff’s Department. They’d have to tell the cops back home about this incident. He wished his brother, Rafe, would hurry up and get out of the academy. He’d feel a helluva lot better with Rafe on this case than Zack Ballard.

  A deputy from the Durango Sheriff’s Department showed up, dusted for prints and shrugged it off as malicious vandalism. Even when they told him about the break-in at Julia’s house, he lifted a shoulder and snapped his notebook shut. “Nothing much I can do about that here, folks. Even if the sheriffs in Silverhill get a print from your house, we got nothing here.”

  Ryder called a tow truck and he and Julia stood outside the tire shop, which accepted the truck and then closed for the night.

  “Taxi?” Ryder scuffed the toe of his boot on the sidewalk.

  “That would cost a fortune. Too bad the Silverhill-Durango Railroad doesn’t run on weeknights.”

  “Rental car? I think my insurance will cover that.”

  Julia brushed a wisp of hair from her eyes, her shoulders sagging for a brief moment before she forced her lips into a smile. “Sure. I guess we can call information on my cell phone for the nearest rental car place. I didn’t see any on the way to and from dinner, but then I wasn’t looking.”

  Ryder shoved his hand in his pocket, his gaze tracking over Julia’s disheveled hair and the dark smudge on her chin where she’d touched her face after running her fingers along one mangled tire. They’d have to find a rental car company, make the long drive back, and then Julia would pick up Shelby from the Stokers and get her to bed. He had no doubt she’d manage it all, but why should she have to?

  Clasping her shoulders, he said, “Why don’t we just find a place for tonight? The tires will be ready tomorrow morning, and Shelby can stay with Clem and Millie.”

  “I—I think I’d like that. I’m exhausted.”

  “Will Shelby be okay? Seems like the Stokers treat her like an adopted granddaughter.”

  “They do. You know I took their last name. We’ve been Julia and Shelby Stoker for over three years now.” Her bottom lip quivered.

  His gut clenched. She should be Shelby McClintock, just like his grandmother. He expelled a breath and ran the pad of his thumb across the dirt on Julia’s chin. “Shelby will be okay.”

  Smiling, Julia blinked her eyes. “Of course she will. The Stokers’ granddaughter, Meg, is visiting for a few weeks, so the girls can have a sleepover.”

  She scooped her cell phone out of her purse and explained to the Stokers about Ryder’s flat tires. He noticed she didn’t mention the warning on the windshield.

  “It’s all set.” She snapped her cell phone shut. “Shelby’s thrilled to have a sleepover with Meg.” She waved the phone. “Do we need this to find a hotel?”

  “Nope, I saw one near the restaurant. Nothing fancy, but it’ll do.” He gripped her elbow and propelled her down the sidewalk.

  “Good, if it’s near the restaurant, we can stop in at the pharmacy in Dr. Brody’s office building to pick up a few essentials, at least some toothpaste and a couple of toothbrushes.”

  When they got to the pharmacy, they wandered through the shelves picking up toothpaste, toothbrushes, dental floss and a comb. While Julia thumbed through a magazine, Ryder hesitated in front of the rack of condoms.

  Was he insane? Julia wasn’t ready for that. Maybe she never would be.

  She dropped the magazine and spun around, her gaze flicking to the shelf in front of him. “Are you ready?”

  With heat rising from his chest, he spun around and grabbed a bag of chocolate-covered peanuts. “Just picking up a few snacks in case they have a movie channel.”

  Raising her brows, she snapped up a bag of jelly beans. “Just gotta make sure we use that floss.”

  They paid for their odd assortment of items and Ryder swung the door open for Julia, nearly colliding with Dr. Brody barreling through the door. Ryder dropped the plastic bag, and a toothbrush spilled onto the ground.

  “Sorry about that.” Brody stooped over and plucked the toothbrush from the ground. His eyes narrowed as he handed it back to Ryder. His hand trembled slightly. “What are you two still doing here?”

  “Long story.” Ryder snatched the brush and dropped it back in the bag. “My tires were slashed.”

  “In the parking garage?” Brody ran a hand through his hair, his eyes widening behind his glasses.

  “Yeah, right where we left the truck after our appointment with you.”

  “Did you call the police? We’ve had a few break-ins in that garage. We may need to hire some security.” His gaze darted between the bag in Ryder’s hand and the one dangling from Julia’s wrist.

  “We called the Sheriff’s Department. No evidence or prints. I’m getting new tires tomorrow morning, but for now…”

  “For now I’m just too tired to face the drive home, so we’re staying here tonight.” Julia swung the bag from her fingertips. “Toothbrushes and all. What about you? I thought you had one last patient after us.”

  Brody brushed past them. “The patients leave, but the work doesn’t stop. Have a nice evening, and I’ll see you both next week.”

  When they got outside, Ryder took the bag from Julia. “Did Dr. Brody seem upset to you?”

  “Maybe a little agitated. Perhaps he had a rough session. Mine was no piece of cake, either.”

  “Stop dancing around, Julia. Dr. Jim Brody is attracted to you.”

  “I don’t know.” She tilted her head but didn’t sound surprised. “It may just be that intimate therapeutic thing. It’s called transference.”

  Ryder snorted. “Transference is when the patient falls for the doctor, not the other way around. I think that’s called countertransference or an ethics violation.”

  They stopped before the hotel’s entrance and Julia placed a hand on one hip. “What are you implying, Ryder? Do you think Jim is responsible for cutting your tires and the message on the windshield?”

  “I don’t know, Julia. I’m just wondering how eager Dr. Jim is for you to recover your memories and have no more use for him or his services.”

  A LITTLE TWIST of disappointment niggled her belly when Ryder booked two adjoining rooms. What did she expect, the honeymoon suite with a heart-shaped bed and a mirror on the ceiling? Although she had caught him eyeing the condoms.

  As Ryder explained their predicament to the hotel clerk, the clerk just nodded with one cocked eyebrow. Probably assumed they were married to other people and having a torrid affair.

  Julia gripped the handle of the plastic bags from the pharmacy. Why did that thought spring into her head? Would she have done something like that when she was married to Jeremy? Is that why their marriage ended? If Ryder played the part of the “other man,” he probably wouldn’t be too eager to fess up to it.

  She knew she and Ryder shared a connection in her past. She could feel it down to the tips of her toes, which had a habit of curling every time Ryder touched her. And what about Shelby…?

  Ryder smacked the pen on the counter and swept the card key into his palm. “That should do it. We’re on the second floor.”

  Following him upstairs, Julia wrinkled her nose at the musty smell from the carpet. Not exactly the type of place she’d want to have a secret assignation. She tugged on Ryder’s sleeve. “I hope the rooms are clean.”

  “I think the place is old, not dirty. We can hop in a taxi and find somep
lace else if you want.”

  “This is fine. There’s no guarantee another hotel will have any rooms available anyway, and I can’t face wandering around Durango looking for a place to stay. It’s just for one night.” Truthfully, the discoveries she made in Dr. Jim’s office and the slashed tires had taken their toll. She just wanted to sit and vegetate.

  Ryder slid the card in the lock and ushered her inside. The small room held a queen-size bed with two nightstands, a bureau with a TV built in on the top and a desk and chair by the window. The bathroom had a fresh-scrubbed, antiseptic smell.

  Ryder pushed open the door to the adjoining room, which had an identical setup with a blue color scheme instead of green. “Which one do you want?”

  “I’ll take the blue room.”

  He left the door ajar and gestured to the TV. “Want to join me for a movie?” He turned on the TV and clicked through the stations. “Aha, movie channel. Did you see that comedy from last summer? I heard it’s funny. I missed everything where I was, so it’s brand new to me.”

  “Where were you?” She dropped to the edge of the bed and toed off her flats.

  He pulled off his boots, plumped several pillows against the headboard and reclined on the bed, facing the TV. “Can’t tell you that.”

  She sighed and wriggled back on the bed. “If Jeremy was anything like you, I probably didn’t have much to forget anyway.” She paused. “Was Jeremy anything like you?”

  “Naw.” He grinned. “I’m a big, dumb cowboy from Colorado. Jeremy was a slick, sophisticated New Yorker with charm to spare.”

  Julia rolled on her side, digging her elbow into the soft mattress and propping up her head. If Jeremy had more charm than Ryder, he must’ve been oozing it. “I thought he came from a poor family. Where’d he get the sophistication?”

  “He studied it and then perfected it.”

  “Is that why I fell for him, his charm?”