“Ummm, okay?”
“I don’t have any doubts you’ll get the clearance, so I want to tell you about one.”
Mark puts his hand on my shoulder, “It’s about Aaron.”
“What about Aaron?” I ask hesitantly. What could they possibly have in a file that I don’t know about? It was an IED . . . there’s not much else to have in a secret file.
Jackson sits on the edge of his desk and the serious look in his eyes scares me. “We’ve been investigating the attack on his vehicle. I think it was targeted.”
“Targeted how? I mean, who would target him?”
He grips the bridge of his nose and exhales. “Not him. I think they wanted to attack me. I don’t know. At this point, we don’t have much info, but there’s a file and I didn’t want you to find out about it from someone or some other way.”
“I don’t understand,” I say conflicted. I was told his death was just that—a death. It doesn’t make any sense as to why they’d be looking into it.
“Natalie,” Mark calls my attention to him. “No one kills a member of this team without us following up. There were issues with our supply drop. Aaron went out there to investigate and then he died. Then, we go out and Muff gets himself shot. It doesn’t add up.” The tone of his voice is commanding and yet still the Mark I know.
I should’ve known they weren’t going to let this go, and honestly, I’m glad. These are good men, honorable men who won’t let someone’s life go without having answers. However, this isn’t going to be easy for me. I’ve started to feel again, to live, and then this thing with Liam. Hell, I don’t even know if it is a thing.
“I’m not sure what to say.”
Jackson tilts forward, “I’m telling you that no member of this team gets killed and we just let it go lightly. Someone will pay for his death. Someone will pay for almost killing me. I didn’t want you to be blindsided.”
Every part of me wants to tell them to stop. To let it go because no matter what, it won’t change a thing. The cruel hands of fate have already slapped me once. I really don’t know if I can survive another round.
“Okay, I guess thanks for the heads up.” I battle with myself if I should ask for more information. If there is a file, then there is something inside of it. I’m not sure I have the restraint not to look. “Jackson?” I ask hesitantly.
“You want to know?”
“Yes and no. I just need to know if there’s anything in there I should know because I don’t know how much I can handle,” I respond honestly. My heart is pounding and my mouth goes dry as I wait.
Jackson and Mark look at each other and they both shift uncomfortably. Mark clears his throat, “All we know at this point is we think our company is being targeted. Also, we think they believed Jackson would be in that car.”
My hand flies to my chest and I gasp. “Why?” I stutter. “Why would anyone want to target you?” The words fly out of my mouth and I stand. These are my friends. This was my husband and my family that were caught in the crossfire.
“We don’t know, but we’ll find out. This isn’t something we’re going to drop.” Mark stands and pulls me into his arms. “He was one of us.”
I nod and step back. This is a lot to process and I’m not sure there is anything that will make this okay. Regardless, my husband was murdered, so finding out why, for me, is irrelevant. It won’t bring him back.
“Okay, let’s get to the meeting. I have a lot to think about and I want to be able to focus on work. I have to take tomorrow off to bring Aarabelle to the doctor for a follow-up.” Her appointment is later in the day tomorrow, but I want to spend some time with her since I feel like I’m missing out being back at work. Plus, I don’t want to talk about Aaron . . . not today.
We wrap up the rest of our meeting and go through some things that need to be done. I flop in my chair and spin so I’m looking out the window. What a clusterfuck this all is. My heart was starting to heal. I was finding a way to put one foot in front of the other without stumbling, but now I’m on shaky ground again.
My office phone rings, halting my inner turmoil.
“Hello, this is Natalie.”
“Hello, Natalie,” his gruff baritone voice causes my heart to falter.
“Hello, Liam,” I say as my lips turn up on their own accord. I sink into my chair and twirl the chord. Jesus, just him saying hello has reduced me to a teenage girl.
“What are you doing?”
“Working,” I reply sarcastically.
“Smart ass. I’m calling to ask you on a date.”
Liam’s been gone the last week. They had a training mission that required them to go to Florida. We haven’t spoken much while he was gone other than a few quick text messages, but I feel better about what happened between us. Reanell and I spoke at great length and she helped me see everything clearly.
Liam cares or he wouldn’t give me the space I need. He knows me after years of friendship, and also Aaron was his best friend. I don’t think he’s capable of tarnishing his memory. There’s not a part of Liam that wants to take my love that I shared with Aaron away.
“You are? A date?” I grin and bite my lip as I toy with him a little.
He laughs, “I am. Are you available?”
“I don’t have a babysitter. I kind of need a little more than a few hours’ notice, but maybe tomorrow.”
“Check your text messages,” Liam instructs.
“Ummm, okay.”
I grab my phone to check and sure enough, I have a text from Rea.
Hey, I’ve got Aarabelle tonight. Have fun. Have sex . . . or don’t, but you know, you could.
“Well?” Liam asks already knowing the answer.
“Huh, well, what do you know? A friend is abducting my daughter.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven.” Liam’s confidence is thick through his voice. Part of me wants to slap him, the other part wants to plant my lips against his again. “Oh, Natalie?” he asks and his voice is low and gravelly.
“Hmmm?”
“Wear a dress,” Liam says and then disconnects the call.
I shoot a quick text to Reanell.
It seems you’ve made a new friend.
It seems you’ve got yourself a boyfriend.
What are we, twelve? I don’t even know if people call them boyfriends. I mean, we’re not exclusive. Or maybe we are and I’m just stupid—which is possible. My palms start to sweat as I think about this. I’m not sure I’m ready to have a boyfriend.
No, we’re friends. He’s just taking me out.
Okay. Whatever you say. I’ll grab Aarabelle from the sitter’s on my way home. Have fun. Love you.
I love her so much. She’s the closest thing I have to a sister. She was there holding my hand when I delivered Aarabelle, she slept in my bed for three days when I found out Aaron died. I don’t know how I’d survive without her.
Love you more! I’ll call you tonight.
Or don’t. That could get awkward.
She’s crazy if she thinks that’s happening. Oh my God, what if that’s what I’m supposed to do?
I need a drink.
“Have you lost your fucking mind?” Quinn stands at my truck giving me shit about going out with Natalie tonight. “Natalie Gilcher? As in your best friend’s wife?”
“Fuck off. It’s not like you think.”
He shakes his head and claps me on the shoulder. “You’re going on a date with Aaron’s wife. Let me know where I’m missing something. Because it seems crystal clear to me.”
I shrug him off. He has no room to talk since he was screwing one of our buddy’s wives, but apparently he has short-term memory loss. “Maybe we should talk to Bueno about missing something. You seemed to be awfully confused when you slipped your dick there.”
“I was drunk.” He steps back and shakes his head.
I’m not going to sit back and let him give me shit. I do that enough myself. I don’t want to be that guy. The one who fucks his boy’s w
ife. Shit, up until the last month, I never even looked at Natalie that way. It’s not like I was chasing her skirt when he was alive. We’re friends and it fucking happened.
“Whatever, man. I’m just saying don’t give me shit. I’m not doing anything wrong. We’re friends and I’m taking her out so she has a night away for once. It’s been nine months since he died.”
“Did you fuck her?”
I step forward and ball my fists. “Watch your fucking mouth.” First of all, it’s none of his damn business. Second of all, if that happens, I don’t plan on telling him. “If and when we do . . . it sure as shit won’t be fucking.”
Some of the team guys are worse than a bunch of women. I’ll have to listen to all their opinions and unsolicited advice. I don’t want to hear how either they agree or don’t. It’s not up to them. As far as I know, I’ll show up tonight and she’ll tell me to fuck off—which is quite possible.
Quinn shakes his head. “Be careful, man. That’s all I’m saying.”
“I’m always careful.”
“Yeah, well, this time you’re playing with fire. It’s not just some girl. It’s his girl and his kid.”
“I’m going to be kinda fucking obvious here, man. He’s dead. I’m not doing anything to tarnish his memory or life. He was my best friend. I would’ve gladly been in that Humvee when it was hit. I would’ve traded places with him in a heartbeat. Natalie and I are friends and there’s something there. So I’m not doing anything he would disapprove of,” I explain and he nods.
“I know you’re not like that, but I wouldn’t want my wife to marry another SEAL.”
“You’d have to find someone dumb enough to marry you first before you need to worry about that.” I try to diffuse the situation. I get that Quinn thinks he’s helping, but he doesn’t see it. He only sees what he wants right now.
“This would be true. And I’d have to give up one-night stands. I’m good.” He shakes my hand and laughs. “I’m going to the gym. I’ll talk to you later.”
“See you later.”
Tonight is going to be the first time I’ve seen her since we kissed. I tried to give her the lead. Let her text me first. I swear I lost my dick and grew a pussy. I’m doing the damn three-day shit. Ridiculous. I want to slap myself or pull my own man card. But she’s Natalie. She’s got a kid and she’s not some girl. I’ve known her forever. I was at her wedding for Chrissake. I can’t just jump the gun and go all caveman on her. She needs to feel in control.
I get home, shower, and make sure everything is set. When I called Reanell to have her watch Aarabelle, she gave me “advice” on what to do tonight. Not that I had a brilliant plan, but apparently Reanell wasn’t impressed at all. So, she provided me with the restaurant and where to take her after dinner.
Sixty seconds seem to take forever. The clock is broken because I swear it’s not moving. Fuck it. I’m going over now. I’ll annoy her until our reservation.
I grab my coat and head out the door.
The ten-minute drive gives me a chance to talk myself out of embarrassing myself. Even though we’ve been friends for years, this is definitely something else. I’ve seen her in dresses. I’ve seen her in a bikini. But this is different.
I park outside her house and open the glove box to grab the gift I got her and the letter from Aaron falls out. Fuck. I forgot about that.
Here I sit outside his house to pick up his wife for a date and I haven’t even read what he wanted me to know. I’m a fucking douchebag. I stuff the letter in my console. Tonight, I want to be with her. I don’t want his ghost haunting me and I already have enough guilt about this date.
I think about what Quinn said and how I’m stupid. Partially, I am. She’s a widow, a single mom, and trying to put the pieces of her life back together, but there’s something there. She draws me in and I don’t even realize it’s happening. She makes me want to be a better man.
I went from dreaming about guns to thinking of the way her blonde hair looks when she’s tired and it falls in her eyes. The way Aarabelle looks when she’s asleep and how much I want to have that at some point. I can’t explain it. I don’t know if there’s even a way to put it into words. But she does something and here I sit trying to talk myself into doing something I’m not sure I should. If she’d never been Aaron’s wife, I would’ve been at her door already. I would’ve had her in my bed, in my arms, and in my heart, but she comes with a warning sign. One I’ve chosen to ignore because I can’t. I’m weak to her and I don’t know why.
But I’m going to find out.
Knock, knock, knock.
The sound of the tap on the door causes the fear to stir like a snowstorm inside of me. The way your face grows cold and it hurts to breathe—which is crazy since it’s summertime. I know it’s not bad this time, but I’m still terrified.
It’s a date.
With Liam.
I glance at my dress and press it down with my hands, smoothing the soft, satin fabric and at the same time trying to calm my nerves. I do a quick mirror check, fluff my hair, and pinch my cheeks. I wore my favorite red dress. I was worried after so long it wouldn’t fit, but luckily it fits better than the last time I wore it. My breasts are fuller thanks to Aarabelle, and it clings to my curves perfectly. The soft, flowing curls hang to my mid back and I have my nude heels on. It’s the first time in months I’ve taken any time to really look pretty. Usually I’m in sweats and a ponytail. Not much need for vanity around a baby.
“Here goes nothing,” I say to myself before opening the door.
Liam stands there with his hand on the frame and my mouth goes dry. Holy shit. He’s dressed in black dress pants and a dark blue shirt. His sleeves are rolled showing his forearms and the fabric clings to his muscles. What is it about a man’s forearms that are so damn sexy? My eyes travel his body and absorb every part of him. It’s not normal how good-looking he is. It’s not fair. He makes it impossible for any woman to resist him. I make my way up to his face where the grin is painted. He watches me watch him, clearly enjoying himself.
I haven’t really looked at a man like Liam. I don’t usually pay attention, but with him . . . it’s impossible not to. He’s tall and steadfast, commanding and alluring. Every part of him screams danger, yet I see inside his heart. I see the man who cares for me and Aarabelle. The one who arranged an entire night out after not being able to see each other for a few weeks. I see the heart he wears on his sleeve with me. I want him to push me, but he knows somehow that I need to go to him.
I stand there admiring the insanely sexy man at my door as he stares at me. “Hi,” his rich voice is low and seductive. One word and my heart begins to race.
“Hi,” my voice cracks and I look down.
Liam steps forward and grips my chin. He pulls me so we’re eye to eye. “You look breathtaking. I missed you.”
“You did?” I ask already knowing he did. He sent me texts the entire time he was away letting me know he was thinking of me and Aara. That’s the one thing with Liam—I can’t help but let him chip at my walls. He cares for Aarabelle and loves her. When she was sick, he came running. Not out of some stupid obligation, but because he was concerned. You could see it in his eyes and it was another crack in my armor.
He laughs and steps closer so we’re toe to toe. “I did. Did you miss me?” Liam’s finger lightly travels down my arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
I shrug and reply playfully, “Eh, you know. I needed someone to hang a couple of new photos, so I guess I did . . .”
Liam’s hand flies to his chest in mock horror. “I’m the handyman. I’m crushed.”
I take a small step forward and wrap my arms around his torso and hold tight. “I missed you.”
His strong, thick arms wrap around me and my body molds to his. “We’re going to be late,” he says and presses his lips to the top of my head.
I look into his blue eyes that glimmer in the moonlight. “Where are we going?”
“That’s a surpri
se.”
“Wow, you’re really going for the kill.”
“I don’t know how many of these I may get, so I’m going to make it count.” Liam’s lip rises and he wraps his arm around my waist and guides me to the car.
“Keep this up and you may get a few more dates,” I joke and nudge him.
“We’ll see. I’m not the only one on probation,” Liam simpers and I slap him in his chest.
“Yeah, okay. You wish, buddy.”
He laughs and I follow as we walk arm in arm down the driveway.
“God, I love your car,” I say aloud as I climb in. He has a 1968 Dodge Charger that he restored with his dad. It’s candy apple red with tan interior. Every part of this car screams Liam. It’s sexy, mysterious, loud, and yet it fits him in some odd way.
“You match,” he muses as I settle into the seat. “Robin’s been good to me. She never lets me down,” he says as he grips the wheel. “We have an understanding.”
“You named your car?”
“And this surprises you? She’s my baby. You wouldn’t not name your child, would you?” Liam asks completely serious.
“That’s stupid.”
“No, it’s not.”
I laugh and buckle my seatbelt, “Yeah, it totally is, and why a girl? Why not name the car after a guy?”
Liam smiles and backs out of the driveway. His hand glides over the dashboard as he speaks of his car. “Same reasons ships are named after women. Ships have personality and character. They protect us on the seas and bring us home. They mirror what is beautiful about every woman. Willful, strong, protective, and faithful, and Robin is no different.”
“I think I’ve heard it all.”
“Well, I could say it’s because it’s not the initial expense but the upkeep that will kill you.” His mouth curves as I roll my eyes. “But that might be considered sexist.”
Consolation (Consolation Duet #1) Page 9