Vanished: What Would You Do If The Love Of Your Life Disappeared Without A Trace? (Nadine's quest to unravel the truth Book 1)

by D. D. Goordin

  Chapter 12

  As I head back to the office for the final time, Chrissie was all set to go. I quickly got my things including the leaflet which I had placed in my bag and got the spare keys from Christina. I made sure that we had turned off everything and closed the office door for the final time. It felt sad but what was bothering me was that I had a feeling the person that had bumped into me was in fact Doctor Lawson. Chrissie had picked up on my mood instantly as we were going through to security to get back on landside.

  “Hey, you’ve been awfully quiet, the realisation has just dawned on me that from this day forward we are both heading in separate directions Nadine.”

  “Hmm, I know, I guess we both knew that this day would’ve come sooner rather than later but I had not anticipated how quickly it would be here.”

  “Are you sure nothing else is troubling you Nads?”

  “Someone had bumped into me and for some odd reason I thought I had recognised them to be Doctor Lawson but I didn’t see him but only his back. I just have this feeling that it was him; my instincts are so certain it was him. Look at this.”

  I took at the leaflet and showed Chrissie.

  “See! There was a fundraiser taking place in New York in a few weeks time but what confirmed my thoughts was that it was for doctors, the treatments that they provide. Can you see where I’m coming from?” She handed me back the leaflet which I stuffed back into my bag.

  “I can but Nadine, please try not to jump to conclusions. When will you be visiting Blake again?”

  “Definitely tomorrow, when I get home I will call the hospital to try and get an update.”

  “It’s been a great day today considering I was expecting the tears, but you know what Chrissie working with you has been amazing. I wouldn’t and couldn’t see myself with working with any of the other girls.”

  “I have to agree with you. We have had an amazing time starting our careers here but remember it’s not completely over. I’ll be moving in with you once I know the dates of when I’ll be at university and which campus I’ll be at. I will keep you posted.”

  I walked her to the bus station and hugged her so tightly.

  “Keep in touch and I will do the same, it would be strange not waking up at the crack of dawn to come here and work.”

  “I know but honestly keep in mind that our life will change, what was your motto again? That was it onwards and upwards.”

  “Message me when you get home Chrissie.”

  “I should be the one saying that to you considering you were followed last night.”

  “Safe journey home and will call you soon knowing that university will be keeping you preoccupied for a few days.”

  Christina handed me her airside pass before we both went our own way. I watched her get her bus back. I felt like in a daze only now realising that this will be the last ever time coming and leaving Gatwick airport. It was an experience I highly doubted I would forget. I was heading to the platform to get onto Gatwick express which I was thankful that a train was still there and would be departing shortly. I located a seat with a window view to stare out of the darkness. There were many travellers who looked exhausted and most of them had crashed out whilst my mind was working overtime. It took just over 35 minutes to get back to Victoria; it was nearing on 11:15pm by the time I was on the Victoria line making my way back to Oxford Circus to Holland Park. The tube was really warm and despite having an emotional but bittersweet day, I couldn’t stop the thoughts that kept on niggling at the back of my mind. Could that really have been Doctor Lawson? I guess I would know for sure when tomorrow had arrived. I was on half way near Holland Park coming up to Notting Hill Gate. The people on the train were either asleep or drunk. I couldn’t wait to get back home, my emotions were all over the place considering it being mines and Chrissie’s last day working together plus seeing Doctor Lawson if that had been him. One thing I had not understood was that he was in such a rush but then again logically speaking their flight was boarding. I had just reached Holland Park and was walking back home. I kept on looking behind me just to be cautious and to make sure I was not being followed like last night.

  I had reached home in the quickest time possible by practically jogging it home. Once inside, I locked the front door and took my jacket off, taking out the leaflet and my phone from my bag and heading straight upstairs. I felt drained from today but so glad that we left on a high note having fun on the shop floor which was definitely needed. I went to my bedroom and left the leaflet and my phone on the side of my bed and headed to the bathroom where I stripped in quick time and had a long soak in the bath. No more early shifts I thought and no more getting a cab. My life had literally changed much quicker than I would’ve liked. I remained in the bath until the water became cool and got into my dressing gown. I washed my make up off and brushed my teeth and headed to my bed. I heard my phone, and knew it was the sound of an alert when I received a text message which was from Chrissie. It had read: Already at home, hope you got home safe and will talk to you soon. Will call you on your first day with Mr hottie Richardson ;) good night.luv c.xx. It was the last thing I was anticipating on doing, I had to call the hospital to check on Blake still. I managed to retrieve the number from the time Doctor Lawson had left a voice message. I had dialled the number and the line kept on ringing until it went dead. That was odd. I was afraid that my suspicions were true. I called one more time but when the same thing had happened and no one had answered, I had decided to call it a night. I pulled the duvets and the smell of fresh sheets had me tumbling into bed, enveloping me in sheer comfort and warmth. My eyes were slowly closing and I drifted to a peaceful sleep.

  I had woken up and was squinting, my eyes half opened and looking around to realise that the sun was shining and it was already morning. I had managed to drift off to sleep without having any disturbing dream but a part of me wished I did have a dream which included Blake. I couldn’t seem to win, I had nightmares and the man I was besotted with had only appeared at a pinnacle whereby I awoke to hearing my own scream. I decided to get out of bed and have a quick shower. I showered in quick time and got into my casual clothes, my jeans a baggy shirt and my ankle boots with a small blazer. I grabbed my phone and went running down the stairs and ended up having a quick coffee. I was beyond determined to see Blake. I was more on edge purely because I would know for certain whether that had been Doctor Lawson last night. I was contemplating calling a cab to the hospital or get there by public transport. I would rather get a cab there; I had still felt worn out and called my local cab to take my St Thomas Hospital. The operator had told me that they would be here within 15 to 20 minutes max. I knew I had forgotten to put my make up on again keeping it minimal. I couldn’t be bothered with putting on layers of mascara, but did put a touch of foundation and my eye liner. I headed back upstairs in my bedroom and noticed that the leaflet was still beside my bed. A thought had sprung to my mind, it was best to keep this in a safe place and I knew it would be kept with Blake’s work pass. I headed to my wardrobe where I had found the cardboard shoe box; right at the top was Blake’s work pass with his picture. I admired it and dropped the leaflet beside it. I glanced at my phone and weirdly it rang at the exact same time. That was beyond freaky. I answered it to know that my cab was already waiting for me outside. I put the box back in the wardrobe and headed downstairs to get my bag with my keys and headed outside. I opened the back passenger door and climbed in. My mind was thinking too many things at once. I had found it strange that when I had called the hospital late at night no one had answered and my curiosity was really getting the better of me and my hands were starting to get clammy just thinking about the first meeting with Blake. It was so unexpected to see how much chemistry there was between us. Part of me was looking beyond forward to seeing him but the other part of me was fearful whether my suspicions were in fact correct.

  The cab had just about reached the front of St Thomas and I could’ve sworn that I could feel my heart beatin
g pounding. I handed the cab driver his money and headed past the accident and emergency department and walked towards north wing. I hit the button to call a lift as I remembered the last time Doctor Lawson had taken me was on 2nd floor. Once I was on north wing I tried to remember which room he was in, I glanced at the white board where all the names of patients would’ve been but there was no Blake Saunders. Confused and bewildered I found a nurse who was at the reception.

  “Excuse me, but I was just wondering which room is Blake Saunders in?”

  “Blake Saunders?? I think you may have been mistaken.”

  “I am 110 percent sure he was here last night. Doctor Lawson was treating him.” I state on the point of frustration; was this nurse delusional or something? My anger was seething.

  “Sorry to say this but there is no one by that name, had there been someone by that name obviously that name would be on our whiteboard with his room number.”

  “Doctor Lawson had operated on him, he was admitted a couple of nights ago he was a victim who had been shot. Does it not ring any bells?”

  “I really don’t have much of a clue who you are referring to.”

  “Is Doctor Lawson on duty?” my voice had gone up uncontrollably.

  “I am afraid Doctor Lawson no longer works here, he had worked his last shift and decided to practice elsewhere.”

  I was literally seething with anger, my body was shaking. My suspicions had come true and I did not know what to do. My head started hurting, the room was spinning.

  “Dear I think you best take a seat, let me get you a glass of water. You have gone gravely pale please try and calm down.”

  I was breathing rapidly, I had taken heed of the advice the nurse had given to me; I started to feel sick to my stomach. I did not want to believe what I was hearing. All I kept thinking was why? Questions were unanswered and even though right at this precise moment I was in a state of shock, the tiny voice in the back of my head told me to have hope. Not everything was what it seemed. I had to hold on to that thought for my own sanity. The nurse had come back and handed me the glass of water and sat beside me.

  “I am very sorry not to have been of any help, but from what I am aware I don’t know any one by the name of Blake Saunders. But I have just come on duty maybe that is why.”

  “You’re right, had there been someone of the name surely it would have been on the white board.” I felt utterly resigned.

  My hands were trembling and I should’ve known to have trusted my instincts but I felt I had to ask one last burning question.

  “Where has Doctor Lawson gone?”

  “I am sorry but that information happens to be confidential.”

  I had been expecting that response. I felt like walking in the ward for a while before I could get my head round to this latest revelation.

  “Do you mind if I just wait here or walk around if you don’t mind, I really need to calm my nerves down.”

  “Sure, take as long as you like.”

  I watched the nurse walk away, and remain seated until my brain could function properly. A thought had sprung to my mind and I had found myself walking around the ward endlessly to each side room there had been to try and see whether I could identify his smell. Blake’s fragrance was so strong; I could smell that from a mile away. I walked passed a room and got a hint of it, I stopped and walked back. The room had been empty, a cleaner was in there making the bed but his smell had faintly still been there.

  “Are you ok? Are you lost?” The cleaner asked with a hint of a South American accent.

  I stood there not hearing the cleaner, but heard the question which seemed to sound so far away. I came out of the reverie that I was in and looked up; my eyes were welling with tears which I had to hold back.

  “I am Ok, I am not lost, I was merely just trying to find something I had lost.” I stated.

  “Did you find what you was looking for?”

  “Unfortunately no. But maybe you can help?”

  The cleaner had waited for me to continue.

  “How long ago did this room became vacant?”

  “Roughly 13 hours ago.”

  “Did you see who happened to be staying in this room? They happened to be one of my friends.” I realised I was holding my breath waiting for his answer.

  “If I remember, there was a guy the other night, fairly pleasant who had been staying here.”

  “Do you know whether he was discharged?”

  “Unfortunately that I would not know but they had informed me that this room needed to be cleaned. No matter how much spray I put, I could not get fully cover the fragrance that lingers of him.”

  “Thank you, you have been of great help.”

  I manage to contain my tears, but thankfully knew that I had not been imagining everything. The cleaner had confirmed that there was a man who had been here, the fragrance was a dead giveaway that had definitely been him, Blake Saunders.

  I walked back to the reception and realised that not one person was there. I had to take this opportunity to snoop as quickly as I can even though I knew it was a big risk I was taking; if I got caught I would be in so much trouble but I would fight tooth and nail to get Blake back. I was not going to accept defeat after I had saved his life, I was not ready to give up despite how I had felt only a few minutes ago when I had seen the expression on the nurse’s face; it had been like she had no clue who and what I was on about.

  I had noticed a brown file with the name Blake Saunders on it, but somehow his name had been struck through with a different name, Hayden Reeves. I was puzzled but I couldn’t risk stalling right at this precise moment. I acted on impulse and took his file and stuffed it in my bag. Surely that would have answers. I also had seen a list of people who had been discharged and noticed that Blake Saunders was not on there but that same name I had seen on his file was there again, Hayden Reeves. I had to move fast before anyone had seen me considering how this ward would have been usually busy. I quickly walked out of North wing and waited for the lift to take me back onto ground floor. As I headed out of the lifts, I heard a familiar voice and knew it was PC Stevens in front of me. I could barely make out what he was saying on his phone and when I tried to listen harder, I heard a snippet of the conversation but he was whispering.

  “Lawson, we have lost him. He’s nowhere to be found.”

  I paced slower not wanting Pc Stevens to realise I was stalking him. I was hoping that whomever he had been talking to, maybe he would have divulged more information and with the hope I could listen in on him but he simply had hung up the phone. I was studying this man before me and realised he was heading in my direction. Shit shit shit! I needed to get out of here. I managed to blend it with the crowd and was saved as he walked right passed me and had not seen me. Could I risk following him again, I had done so much, I had broke certain laws and especially taking a file from the hospital which had not belonged to me. I remained a few steps behind him but someone had got right into my line of vision; that when I tried to find where he was he had disappeared. I realised that I was back to where I had been, the lifts to go to north wing; maybe he was here to destroy something, maybe the file that I somehow managed to get hold of. I was not going to take the chance in hanging around the hospital. I needed to move fast before someone had noticed a file was missing. Clearly the nurses wouldn’t have known it to be there but possibly Pc Stevens was sent here to destroy any evidence.

  I decided to take the public transport back home but who had Pc Stevens been talking about? Someone had disappeared? Could he have been referring to Blake? Something certainly was not adding up and did I hear him say Lawson? Had I imagined that? Nothing was making sense anymore. The more I was thinking about everything that more questions had needed to be answered. My head was pounding, I was caught up in a mess; Chrissie had been right by doing a great deed sometimes you can land yourself in deep waters. Even though I had not known this area I saw the underground sign from across the road and headed straight in that di
rection. I had walked on a bridge and realised I was in Westminster. The pavement was packed due to foreigners touring London, as I crossed the bridge to make my way to the underground I could see the London eye but as much as I wanted to admire the structure, I had to get home and look at the file I had stolen. I walked down the steps to lead me to the underground and had to take a train that would get me back to Holland Park. I scanned the tube map and noticed I had to take the grey line being Jubilee line to Bond Street which would connect me on to central line. The train heading that was approaching was a train heading to Stanmore which I had to get on. I decided to remain standing and clutched my bag even tighter. I could not believe that I may just have committed a crime. If Chrissie knew she would certainly have thought something had possessed me, I had not been the type to take much risks but I couldn’t stand the thought of losing Blake, my heart suddenly felt heavy. The past few days had been a tidal wave of emotions of happiness, hope and love which Blake had somehow given me and now I was feeling distraught, anger and an emotion I was all too familiar feeling which was the loss of losing someone all over again. I could not allow myself to weep in public; I had to remain strong no matter what the chances were of finding out what exactly had taken place even if it did end up killing me. The emotion was gnawing at me throughout the whole journey back to Holland Park. I could not even remember changing at Bond Street and heard that the next stop would be Holland Park. I had felt so detached to the world, walking in a trance; I couldn’t feel a thing apart from a pain that had cut so deep. Without thinking and realising where I was I had absentmindedly crossed the road and heard a loud honking which had startled me out of my dream state. I took a step back to the pavement and waited for the green man to crop up. Thankful that I did not get knocked down, I had to snap out of the dreaded feeling that was crushing my heart. I had not remembered a time where I have felt the same emotion as to when I had heard the death of my parents. Nothing could have prepared me for how life would’ve been so tough on me. I felt the tear trickle down my cheek whilst it was safe to cross the road. My head felt heavy as I walked back to my house. I had reached my home retrieving my keys in the bag and feeling the brown card like paper was still there. I took a deep breath and closed the door behind me. I was sobbing uncontrollably, the pain was too much and it brought pack the feeling of what it had been like when I heard that I had lost my parents I had dearly loved. I was on the floor in the hall way leaning my back against the door. I let the sobs come and go, I had never allowed myself to fully grieve before but just thinking that I may never see Blake again rendered me speechless. I had to somehow pick myself back up again, but when the feelings of love came into the picture of things, it always scarred. I managed to stop the tears from falling, and had to push every thought of losing Blake. I couldn’t bear to think about it, the more the thought had crossed my mind, and I was fearful that I would pass out from crying so much or make myself ill. I had to pull myself together I sternly told myself, I have survived through so much and I cannot allow myself to feel this grief again. I stood up still trembling but managed to get to my kitchen with steady but slow steps. I placed my bag on the table and decided I had to face reading this file otherwise I would not know what had happened.