Vanished: What Would You Do If The Love Of Your Life Disappeared Without A Trace? (Nadine's quest to unravel the truth Book 1)

by D. D. Goordin

  I reminded myself I had taken a leap of faith and risked everything for this man by stealing a confidential file, which was the property of the hospitals and I could not allow myself to give up after doing that especially now.

  Chapter 13

  I found myself slumped in the chair in front of my dining table. I could not wait much longer; I have to listen to what my heart is telling me to do and read this file of Blake’s medical record. I grasp the file out of my bag and see his name in bold italic writing knowing that had to be Doctor Lawson’s handwriting. I laid the report on the table in front of me, reading all his information.

  Name: Blake Saunders deceased (discharged Hayden Reeves)

  D.O.B: Unknown

  Residence: Unknown

  PX admitted to ICU (15/11/2013)

  Suffered penetrated abdominal trauma (15/11/2013)

  Assessment carried out: X ray and Ct Scanning

  Treatment given: minimal invasive surgery, performing endoscopy through the bullet entrance hole to prevent major complications.

  Administered intravenous fluids with a sterile dressing plus Midazolam injection (15/11/2013)

  PX regained consciousness (17/11/2013)

  PX suffered blood loss (17/11/2013)

  Administered Erythropoietin x1

  Administered Midazolam x3

  Administered Methamphetamine x3 (17/11/2013)

  Administered Flunitrazepam

  Monitored PX, showing signs of memory loss (17/11/2013)

  Discharged (17/11/2013)

  Treated by: Doctor. Lawson ph.D.

  I could not stop looking at the report. Certain medical terms I had not understood but I know I would have to end up doing my own research. I wanted to find out what had happened to Blake surely there must have been side effects to certain drugs that Doctor Lawson had given to him. The more I had found myself looking at the report, the more unanswered questions kept on bugging me. Why would Blake Saunders name had been strike out? Why had there been another name which was in brackets? Nothing made sense or unless he had discharged him under another name being Hayden Reeves but then the questions was still there. Why would he do such a thing? Doctor Lawson had not seemed the type to raise any suspicions so whom or what could’ve made him do this? Did he have an ulterior motive against Blake? I was driving myself crazy with the whys but I knew that I did not have any answers only unless I would meet Doctor Lawson ever again, the chances were looking slim.

  I clutched the report closed to my heart, I knew that I had committed a grave sin by taking this report but no one was around at the time, I had acted on impulse and a part of me had not thought twice about my actions.

  I headed upstairs with the report in my hands, I had to do my own research otherwise I would drive myself crazy. I rarely ever used my laptop that had been given to me from Chrissie as a birthday gift a couple of years ago but I had to use it to get some answers; I had no other choice. I plugged the charger in my laptop and turned on the machine. It had not taken that long to load up, instantly I fired the internet explorer and waited for it launch. I typed in Google and started to research on the drugs that had been administered to Blake. Once Google had loaded I typed in the first drug which was Midazolam. So many hits had cropped up and I read what the drug was used for. It lead me onto an NHS page which read:

  Midazolam hydrochloride (Mid-az-oh-lam hi-droh-clor-ride) is a medicine which is used in sedation and anaesthesia. Midazolam hydrochloride varies according to the condition being treated and the particular preparation used.

  Midazolam hydrochloride is used as a sedative during surgery or other small procedures. It can also be used during general anaesthesia in combination with other medicines.

  Midazolam hydrochloride is usually used at the lowest possible dose and for short periods of time as it can cause memory problems, tolerance, dependence or withdrawal symptoms. If Midazolam hydrochloride is used for long periods of time, reducing the dose of Midazolam hydrochloride gradually over time may reduce the chances of having withdrawal symptoms.

  Another page from wikipedia read:

  Midazolam[1] (/mɪˈdæzəlæm/, marketed in English-speaking countries and Mexico under the trade names Dormicum,[2] Hypnovel,[3] and Versed,[4]) is a short-acting drug in the benzodiazepine class developed by Hoffmann-La Roche in the 1970s.[5] The drug is used for treatment of acute seizures, moderate to severe insomnia, and for inducing sedation and amnesia before medical procedures. It possesses profoundly potent anxiolytic, amnestic, hypnotic, anticonvulsant, skeletal muscle relaxant, and sedative properties.[6][7][8] Midazolam has a fast recovery time and is the most commonly used benzodiazepine as a premedication for sedation; less commonly it is used for induction and maintenance of anesthesia.

  The more I had read up on that drug, the more I felt sick. I decided to research the other drug surely it could not have as worse. I deleted Midazolam from the search bar and typed in Erythropoietin instead and again the results showed from a page on wikipedia which had read:

  Erythropoietin, also known as erythropoetin or erthropoyetin (/ɨˌrɪθrɵˈpɔɪ.ɨtɨn/, /ɨˌrɪθrɵˈpɔɪtən/, and /ɨˌriːθrɵ-/) or EPO, is a glycoprotein hormone that controls erythropoiesis, or red blood cell production.

  I was sure that treatment was given to him when he had suffered a blood loss but why had Doctor Lawson administered more doses of Midazolam? I deleted Erythropoietin and typed in methamphetamine. I opened another page with information on this drug which read:

  It’s part of the amphetamine family of drugs, which stimulate the brain and nervous system in a similar way to cocaine and ‘speed’. Different amphetamines differ in how powerful they are and how they are considered under the Misuse of Drugs Act. Methamphetamine has stronger effects that last longer than the classical speed, amphetamine sulphate and is a Class A drug, while amphetamine sulphate is a Class B drug. The crystal form of methamphetamine, sometimes called Crystal Meth or Ice, is extremely powerful and addictive. Some compare it to ‘crack cocaine’ as both give an intense, powerful ‘high’ followed by a very severe ‘comedown’, and both are very addictive. There have been recent reports of another supposedly strong form of amphetamine, 4-methylamphetamine, being sold as Ket Phet or Phet Ket. 4-methylamphetamine may also be more toxic than amphetamine sulphate. Like methamphetamine 4-methylamphetamine is also a Class A drug.

  There’s evidence that long-term methamphetamine use can cause brain damage, although this gradually gets better if the user stays off the drug for a long time.

  My jaw had literally dropped. I could not believe what I was reading and I started to tremble again. Clearly Doctor Lawson was abusing his powers and administering illegal drugs. The more research I had done, the more Blake’s life was being taken away from him. Last but not least I typed the last drug that was administered which was Flunitrazepam. I opened the first result and it was of a wikepedia page which read:

  Flunitrazepam /ˌfluːnɨˈtræzɨpæm/ — also known as Narcozep, Rohypnol, Rohipnol, Roipnol, or in the vernacular, simply roofies[1] — is an intermediate acting benzodiazepine used as an hypnotic, sedative, anticonvulsant, anxiolytic and skeletal muscle relaxant drug. Flunitrazepam has been referred to as a date rape drug because of its high potency and ability to cause strong amnesia.

  I felt suddenly ill and nauseated and was on the verge of vomiting. I ran to the bathroom and vomited. Everything I had read was too much to bear. What was Doctor Lawson thinking? Surely he must be aware all those doses would be fatal. I prayed a silent prayer for Blake hoping that wherever he may be, he would be ok but the chances were slim, surely he couldn’t have died? Could he? My thoughts were running wild, but again I glanced back at the file but if he was truly dead then why would there be another name in brackets of a Hayden Reeves? Doctor Lawson surely must have known what he was doing. Was he trying to kill him? I kept on asking myself why? I was left reeling not knowing what to think. I left my laptop on and went to get that box where I had stored Blake’s Identity. I decid
ed to place Blake’s medical report and take out his pass for work. I looked at the picture of him before me, so youthful and there was a hint of a smile there. I smiled looking at it. It had touched my heart and the fact that someone was out there to kill him just did not seem or feel right.

  Who could possibly have a vendetta against him? All I now had was just a memory of him and the only time I had ever met him. I couldn’t stop the pain that was eating at me. Could my dream have had a significant meaning? I had dreamed that he had passed away and was taken from me. Was this really happening? Maybe I ought to realize my dreams could possibly be messages, warnings for the coming future. I felt on the verge of tears, stroking his picture wishing he was here with me. I had not thought I would feel a strong urge to protect someone who I had yet to know him inside and out but I saved him from whomever wanted him gone, could see that there was more to him than I gathered. There must have been a reason why someone had gone to such lengths to shoot him on that eventful night and now this. I would have never thought that Doctor Lawson would have been the one trying to kill him. Surely he couldn’t have been working alone. Earlier today when I had overheard Pc Stevens, I was so sure I had heard him say Lawson. Could they both have had a vendetta against him? I was losing it, my mind working over time trying to find some logic behind all the events regarding Blake but then I had remembered when I had met him, the last thing he said to me was not everything or was it not everyone is what they seem to be. Could he have been indicating Doctor Lawson? And then him telling me to be careful; there was so much that was not adding up. I felt my tears well up; exhaustion was kicking in from how much I had cried. I was on the edge of my bed leaning my head against the mattress with the laptop right in front of me. My eyes was slowly drifting off, my head was still throbbing. I had somehow dosed.

  I knew I was in the hospital; I had walked past the accident and emergency. The hospital was absolutely quiet. There was not one person in sight but a young lady sobbing. I wanted to stop and ask if she was Ok but I knew time was of the essence. I looked at my reflection when I was in the lift making my way towards North wing ward. I was dressed in a uniform that allowed me to give authority to those who had failed to co operate with the law. People would look at me and have the utmost respect for me. No one would know what I was capable off. I felt so tense and I always had the habit of cracking the bones in my hand. I had to go and make sure Ian was taking care of what I had asked of him. I decided to go in the operating room knowing where he would be. A lifeless body was there, he looked to be in a deep sleep.

  “Did you administer the drugs? I want to make sure he would not be able to remember anything. Or even die.” My voice was hoarse

  “Are you sure about this? My career would be over if word got out. I am walking on treacherous waters here.”

  “I know, but surely you as much as I would love to get rid of him once and for all?”

  “I am not sure about that. They guy was practically trying to get justice. Poor bloke did not realize what he was up against.”

  “I feel sorry for that poor girl whom is now involved in this. Why did anyone save him?”

  “I am sure she just happened to be a bystander. I’ll have to think how we can get rid of her. She may be a liability if she knew what we were getting up to.”

  “I can’t seem to think how she will know what we were up to.”

  “It would have been that much easier had he died on that night.”

  “Listen here I have done what you have asked of me, he is knocked out for six. If I were you I would go about your normal business.”

  “What about you?”

  “I can’t stay here, my career should’ve been long over, and you know that by now. I need to practice elsewhere where no one knows about my past and start afresh.”

  “When are you going?”

  “It may be short notice, but it will be tonight.”

  “Thank you for keeping your word, Doc.”

  I walk away from the operating room and head out to Westminster Bridge. I have the strong urge to smoke and get take out a cigarette. My hands were slightly shaking but it felt so good to know that I had managed to get rid of him. I should have planned this ages, such a shame for that poor girl was my last thought. The image slowly starts to dissolve making me aware that I had very much had a dream but the strangest part was that, I had not been me but I was acting out from Pc Steven’s body.

  The room was dim and the only light that was on was from my laptop. My neck was hurting from the position I had somehow managed to sleep in. My stomach started to growl, and I needed to get out of my clothes. I stripped and got back into my pyjamas and headed down stairs. Leaving Blake’s work pass on my bed beside my laptop. I had still yet to research more about the man I had become so besotted with.

  I decided to go to the kitchen, turning the light on to make something simple to eat. I had a few tinned soups with rolls and opted to have that. I empty the tomato soup in a small pot and warmed it on the gas cooker whilst I diced the roll into square shapes. I also thought just in case I had happened to be peckish through the night to rustle up a small portion of mash with sausages just in case the soup would not be enough considering all I did have for breakfast was a cup of coffee. Once I noticed that steam was coming from the top of the pot from warming the soup, I empty the soup in a bowl and added the diced pieces of bread. The bread had absorbed the tomato soup. I decided to eat in the kitchen and had turned on the radio to compensate for being in silence. I ate the soup with the bread in no time, devouring it. Once I had spooned the last drop of soup, I washed the bowl and started on making the mash and frying the sausages. I had fresh potatoes which I had boiled in another pot with boiling hot water. I decided to open a packet of new sausages and decided that I would fry just two which hopefully would be enough for my dinner. I waited until the potatoes were boiled fully and kept on poking it with a fork so that it should cook far more quickly. Once it started to fall off the fork, I got another pan and added a drop of oil and heated it until the pan was hot and fried the sausages. I wanted to add more flavours and thought I’d slice a small amount of onions. Whilst the sausages were frying on low heat, I added the onions and worked in mashing the potatoes. When I was fully satisfied with it I added a small knob of butter and milk to smooth it out. The sausages were still browning and I knew I had enough time to make gravy as I still had the granules where I would just need to add hot water. Once the sausages were fried I grabbed a plate and dished up, also spooning most of the mash and gravy I had made. I was slightly impressed with my culinary skills and for some reason I had thought about the dream I had where I had gone to Blake’s house where he cooked me the finest spaghetti bolognaise I had ever tasted. I sat there slowly chewing the food and wishing that I was not alone not tonight. I was still trying to come to terms with what I had read from the report and carrying out my own research in regards to the medical terms of drugs that were administered to him. I eventually cleaned up the plate of food but somehow started to feel sick. I had to try and block out what I had read, I had to find a way to get through this and also I had to get to the bottom of this.

  I washed all the pots and pans I had used to make my dinner but my mind was clearly elsewhere. I had scorched my hand under the boiling hot water.

  “OUCH!!!” I pulled back my hand and turned on the cold water instead, hoping that my hand would not blister and turned off the radio, heading back upstairs to continue my research that I should’ve done before I had that strange dream of being in Pc Steven’s body. I turned on the lights in the hall way and went to my bedroom. My laptop had gone into stand by. I turned on my bedside lamp and decided to brush my teeth and wash off whatever make up was left on my face. I looked at my reflection in the bathroom; my eyes had gone red which was from all the crying. I was glad that my head had stopped throbbing. I pressed the button to switch my laptop back on and already the internet explorer screen was already there from the time I had researched all the dr
ugs. I picked up Blake’s work pass and saw that he worked for a company called aspire which happened to be a recruitment agency. I typed in the search engine that I had used which was Google and typed in Aspire Recruitment Agency. There was a few results that had showed up the first was the company’s actual website. I clicked on the link but the website was taking forever to load. I decided to refresh the page and finally the website had loaded. I clicked on about the company and scrolled down the page to see that the person who had founded the company was none other than Mr Saunders and there was his picture. The man I had seen on their pier that night when I went out with Chrissie, the man who I had met at the hospital. He was looking extremely stylish with a suit. The picture was of half his body, the more I looked at his picture, and the more I was falling for him. I studied the picture taking in those eyes that had haunted me. When I tried to go back to the home page of the company and error message had popped up stating that the website is under construction. I went back to the previous page which was of Google and retyped aspire recruitment agency and the second website was an official report of all the companies that had recently gone into liquidation, there was a short paragraph that had stated that all the workers were made redundant including the founder but they had not named him, but I knew deep down that this website was referring to Blake Saunders. I was beside myself not knowing what would be my next step, whether there was anyone who knew Blake Saunders or those even worked with him, but the chances of finding anyone was like finding a needle in a haystack. I went back to Google and retyped aspire recruitment agency and noticed that the first website was no longer there which had been the company’s website. I wanted to retire to bed but I could not switch off. All the information that I read was more than present in every thought I had about him. He was the founder of a recruitment agency, the top recruitment consultant, who was now redundant and possibly lying in the gutter somewhere. I mentally had slapped myself; I should not be thinking such negative thoughts and decided to put his work pass back in the box beside his patient file and the leaflet that Doctor Lawson had dropped. I brushed my fingers with a harder material and could see that it was an off pinkish colour and on the side it has read DVLA. I had totally forgotten about taking his photo i.d for his driving license and had a good look at it. It was the same man on the website, the same man on the work pass. I definitely had not dreamed any of it. I decided to put his driver’s license underneath his file. The reality was that Blake Saunders did exist but the question that kept on niggling at me is whether he was still alive or whether the dosage that was administered was too much that it had killed him. I really did not have a clue whether I would ever see him again but I was lucky enough to have saved his life and got the chance to speak to him that one time at the hospital which is looking like it would also be the last time where I would ever smell him again, and had the privilege to feel his lips on mine.