With Baby in Mind

by Arlene James

  It was a large, airy room, the outside wall of which was composed entirely of glass. The view was not particularly spectacular, but that would come as he moved on up the corporate ladder. He looked around him, quite pleased. He’d picked out the decor and furnishings himself, of course, but he’d been unable to supervise the actual outfitting. He saw that his eye and sense of style had not betrayed him. His drawing board was set up near the window wall, everything laid out and waiting for him. A desk, chairs, file cabinet, planning table and bookcases were artfully arranged to make the most of the remaining space. He laid his briefcase on the desk, left the plan tube on the drawing table and hung his coat on the rack he’d ordered for that purpose.

  “You’ll want to begin interviewing for that secretary and assistant,” the senior partner said. “Just call down to personnel, and they’ll send up the qualified applicants.”

  “Thanks,” Parker said, moving around behind his desk to sit down, “but I’d really rather get right to work. I’ve got a few ideas for the Bronson project.”

  The senior partner pursed his lips thoughtfully, then slipped his hands into his pockets and made a little shrug. “Suit yourself. Some of the fellows and I would like to take you to lunch to celebrate your first day as a partner. Would eleven-thirty work for you?”

  “Anything will work for me,” Parker said, flicking open his briefcase and removing papers.

  “Eleven-thirty, then. Oh, and Parker, my condolences.”

  He spread his hands on the top of the desk and nodded. “Thanks.”

  The other man went out and closed the door. A sudden silence descended and with it a sudden loneliness. Parker sat back in his chair and stared out the window wall of his office. Oh, Nathan, he thought, what have you done to me? He got up and wandered over to the drawing board, but the urge to work had vanished with his enjoyment of the day. He slid his hands into his pockets and stood staring down at the parking lot.

  Were they still sleeping? he wondered. Would Kendra wake and remember with the same flood of feeling as he what it had felt like last night? Would the baby fret and make a picture of him in her mind? Could she possibly miss him? It occurred to him that he hadn’t told anyone that he had married and taken his brother’s child to raise. He would tell them at lunch.

  Lunch. It seemed an awfully long time away. The hours looked as long as aeons from this rarefied perspective. He closed his eyes, feeling a little ill, his stomach churning. He ought to get a danish or something and a cup of coffee, but he didn’t really want anything to eat.

  He only wanted to go home and gather them both safely into his arms.

  Chapter Seven

  He was surprisingly tired, not that he’d accomplished a great deal. For some reason, he couldn’t stop thinking about Nathan and Candace and Darla and Kendra. He had lost the first pair, and he wanted to be with the second. He wanted to know they were all right. He wanted to know they were safe. He wanted to know he wasn’t going to lose them, too. But he was going to lose Kendra eventually, of course, in a way. He was going to lose her excellent services in caring for his niece, and he stood to lose her friendship as well, unless he could control his sex drive. He’d given it lots of thought during the day, and he’d come to the conclusion that seducing her would be a huge mistake. Sleeping with her would make the marriage all too real. Emotions that should be absent could well become engaged. The divorce would be just that, a real divorce with all the attendant baggage. The friendship would cease to exist, and after the losses he had recently suffered, he was just not ready to contemplate that. And yet the very idea of denying himself the pleasure he knew he could find in her bed was as hurtful as the thought of being alone, truly alone.

  He told himself he was blowing the sex thing way out of proportion. He had been crazy for certain women before but never like this. It was just the circumstances, the grief, the loss, suddenly finding himself alone in the world except for a dark-eyed cherub who couldn’t even understand that a battle was about to be waged for the privilege of caring for her. It was just that Darla and securing their future together had had to come first, that Kendra’s friendship and generosity had filled those needs when none other’s could. It was gratitude and desperation and proximity and the novelty of actually being legally bound to her. It was the idea that she was his in ways no other woman ever had been. It was sharing his home and Darla with her. It was the way she looked at him sometimes and the way she looked, period. It was a peculiar kind of insanity that he simply had to wait out, rise above and put behind him. He could do that. He had to.

  The emotional turmoil was taxing, far more so than he had imagined. It was only natural, therefore, that he should long for home and those awaiting him there. He drove a little too fast on the way back to the house, and he realized that it made him nervous. He couldn’t forget that it was a traffic accident that had taken the lives of the two people closest to him. Yet he kept feeling his foot depress the accelerator. And he kept hoping that they would be as happy to see him as he would be to see them.

  He came in the back way, turning the car down the alley to access the garage behind the house. He pulled in, killed the engine, dropped the remote garage door controller into his breast pocket, grabbed the handle of his briefcase and the plan tube that contained the drawings he meant to go over that evening and got out. He slapped the garage door controller against his chest as he headed for the house and heard the screech of the door as it lowered behind him. He stepped up into the back hall and walked around the corner, thrilled with the soft glow of light and the wonderful aroma that greeted him. She was cooking. The pleasure of that washed through him and opened a hole in his stomach.

  A very pleasant sense of anticipation gripped him, and he stood for a moment wondering if it would be terribly corny of him to call out that he was home. He decided against it in case Darla was asleep. They hadn’t had much chance yet to establish a routine, and he didn’t want to derail any attempts on Kendra’s part to start them along that path. He stepped down into the living area, crossed it, and stepped up again into the dining area. He could see enough between the columns separating dining area and kitchen to see that Kendra was seated at the breakfast table. A slimly jeaned calf, a bare ankle and a small foot encased in a leather flat were swinging rhythmically side to side between the table’s legs. Parker smiled to himself, taking a perverse pleasure in the delicate turn of that ankle, and stepped up into the kitchen.

  Edward White was sitting next to her, a sappy grin on his face, and his hand was covering hers where it lay against the tabletop. Kendra was speaking softly to the baby, who rested atop the table in a yellow plastic seat Parker had never seen before. A sharp, hot anger shot through him in the instant before Kendra looked up, smiled and said, “Guess what?”

  The words just tumbled out of his mouth. “Company for dinner?” he asked acidly.

  She looked slightly amused. “I rather doubt it, but since you’ve brought it up... Ed, would you like to stay for dinner?”

  Edward leaned back in his chair. “Sounds good. What’s on the menu?”

  “Scampi.”

  Parker could have whooped.

  Edward made a face. “You know I hate seafood.”

  Kendra had the grace to look embarrassed. “Yes, well, I wasn’t really thinking about that when I planned tonight’s menu, and to tell you the truth, I didn’t really make enough for three.”

  Parker instantly buoyed. “Oh, sorry about that, babe,” he said, not sounding the least contrite. “Guess I’ll have to start checking out these impulses with you beforehand, hmm?”

  “Yes, and I’ll try to do the same on your nights to cook,” she replied pointedly.

  He laughed. “Deal.” He set down his briefcase and plan tube in the corner and rubbed his hands together. “Boy, am I famished.”

  “Don’t mind me,” Edward said amicably.

  “I won’t,” Parker assured him, crossing the floor to lean against the table and smile down at the baby.


  Her face instantly broke into a smile, one little eyebrow crooking up as if to ask where he’d been keeping himself all day.

  He kissed the top of her head. “Hello, sweetheart. Miss me?”

  That eyebrow fluctuated expressively.

  He smiled. “Yeah. Me, too.” His eye caught an heretofore missed detail just then, and he looked questioningly at Kendra. “What’s this?”

  She rolled her eyes. “That, my dear man, is called a bib.”

  “I know that. I meant that gunk all over it.”

  “Ah. Well, now, that is the remnants of our very first solid meal, er, her very first solid meal. Actually, semisolid is a better description. It’s sort of a rice mush. The directions are on the box. And if all goes well, next week we can start her on a little applesauce.”

  “Oh, yeah? Real food, huh?” He looked at the baby again. She seemed awfully small for that stuff to him. She didn’t have a tooth in her head, for Pete’s sake. “You sure she’s ready for this?” he asked warily.

  Kendra smiled. “That’s what I was going to tell you. I called her pediatrician today and explained things to him. I knew who she was seeing because I recommended him to Candace, and anyway, he had me bring her in.”

  “She’s okay, isn’t she?”

  “She’s fine, but since she’s not on breast milk anymore, he thought it might be best to go ahead and start her on solids. She’s about the age they start them anyway, and it might help her sleep better through the night. I asked him to recommend a formula, too, since we’ve been sort of playing Russian roulette in that respect. He did, by the way, so I bought some of that. Oh, and I bought this little seat, too. It’s a lot easier to move around than that car seat, and I wanted to keep her with me while I was making dinner, you know.”

  “Great,” he said, straightening and smiling down at her. “You’ve been a busy girl today. How’d you manage, though, without a car?”

  Edward raised his hand just as Kendra slid him a glance. “Well, I called Ed, of course, and he brought me his car.”

  Of course. Parker’s gaze went to his buddy at the end of the table. “Helpful fellow, aren’t you?” he muttered, then regretted it.

  Edward smiled. “I told her I’d be here for her.”

  “Us,” Kendra said quickly. “I mean, we’re all friends here, aren’t we?”

  Parker glared at Edward and kept a clamp on his tongue. Edward glared back, then relaxed a bit and shrugged. “Sure. We’re all friends. Just good friends, all three of us.”

  Kendra seemed to breathe easier. “Right. Of course. Anyway, Brenda dropped him off on her way home so he could pick up his car, and that’s the whole story. Simple. See?”

  Parker nodded, his gaze on Edward. “I see. I see just fine.”

  Kendra took a deep breath. “Well, I’d better get this little sweetie cleaned up and put dinner on the table.”

  “I’ll clean her,” Parker volunteered, once more tamping down his temper. “She just needs a face wash.”

  “Better check that diaper, too,” Kendra said, getting up.

  “I can do that,” he commented, engaging Darla’s attention just to see her smile.

  Edward took the hint and excused himself. Kendra thanked him for the use of his car and walked him to the door, which set Parker’s teeth on edge. But at least she was quick about it. He had just worked his hands under the baby and was lifting her to his shoulder when Kendra returned. She smiled at him and went about her business. That rankled for some reason, not that he was expecting her to throw her arms about his neck or gush a private welcome or anything.

  He carried the baby into the bedroom and laid her in her crib, then removed the soiled bib, cleaned it and left it to dry on the edge of the bathroom sink before gently cleaning her face with a warm, damp washcloth and checking her diaper. She was wet. No surprise there. She always seemed to be wet. He changed her and carried her back to the kitchen. Kendra had the table set and dinner dished up when he got back.

  “Smells great,” he said. “You’ve gone to a lot of trouble here, and I was expecting you to order in. This is a nice surprise.”

  She shrugged, looking pleased. “Scampi isn’t so much trouble, really. I bought the shrimp already shelled and deveined. I just hope they haven’t been warming too long. I hate rubbery shrimp.”

  He chuckled. “I didn’t know you had it in you to hate anything.”

  She cocked her head. “Do I hear a compliment there?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Well, thank you very much.”

  “Thank you,” he said smoothly. “If you weren’t such a loving, caring person, we’d be in a pretty pickle right now. Wouldn’t we, princess?” This last he addressed to the baby, who had taken a grip on the end of his nose. He grinned and kissed the underside of her chubby little wrist, breaking her grip, then turned her to face Kendra. “What shall we do with this while we eat?”

  Kendra picked the seat up off the floor and placed it on the table between their plates. “How’s that for ringside seating?”

  “That’s great as long as she doesn’t try to steal my shrimp,” he quipped, carrying her over and placing her in the plastic seat.

  “I don’t think she’s fully grasped the concept of eating anything that doesn’t come through a nipple.”

  “It was a bit difficult, was it?” he asked walking around to pull out her chair for her.

  “Let’s just say that she was probably wearing more on the outside than I managed to get inside.” She sat down and allowed him to help her move the chair forward. “Thank you.”

  “My pleasure.” He took his own chair, spread his napkin and picked up his fork.

  “I hope you like it,” she said, watching him scoop up rice and spear the first shrimp.

  He took the first bite, chewed and closed his eyes, letting the combined flavors of butter, garlic, parsley and lemon fill him. After a long moment, he swallowed. “I love scampi,” he said, digging in again, “and this is some of the best I’ve ever had.”

  She beamed at him. “Thanks. I love it, too. That’s why I decided on it. This is sort of a celebration, actually.”

  He lifted his brows. “Oh? What are we celebrating?”

  She put her fork down and leaned forward eagerly. “I got my job back! Well, not the same job. They’d already filled my old spot, but they were eager to hire me on again.”

  Her job. Suddenly all sorts of problems popped into his head. He put his elbows on the table and let his fork dangle over his plate. “Ah, it’s kind of soon, isn’t it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, for starters, what are we going to do with the baby?”

  “What do you think? We’ll have to get a sitter. We’ve discussed this.”

  “I know. I mean, we sort of discussed it. I know you said you were going to try to go back to the hospital, but I thought...well, I thought...” He realized suddenly that he’d thought she’d change her mind, that Darla would charm Kendra just as she’d charmed him and she would just put off going back to work until... He put his fork down, unwilling to think about the future beyond the next few weeks. “Listen, you don’t have to work if you don’t want to.”

  “But I do.”

  “No, I mean, I can certainly support all of us. Heck, I’m a partner now, you know. It just isn’t necessary for you to work.”

  She took a deep breath, obviously getting a hold on her temper. “Parker,” she said slowly, evenly, “you don’t seem to understand how important my work is to me. What I do is important, and I love it. I went to school to be a nurse, and I’m a good one, a darned good one, if I do say so myself, and I just have no intention whatsoever of giving that up. I hope I’ve made myself clear.”

  “Very,” he said tightly, sensing that this subject could get hot quick if he didn’t watch it. He concentrated on his food, but the taste seemed less refined and less smooth than before. Nevertheless, he managed a few bites before he felt compelled to broach th
e subject again. “I guess we’d better start looking for someone suitable to watch the baby. I’ll call the agency again tomorrow.”

  “Good,” Kendra said, working on her own plate. “Maybe they can send some applicants over tomorrow for you to interview.”

  “Tomorrow!” he exclaimed. “I can’t interview babysitters tomorrow. I have to find a secretary and an assistant.”

  “Well, I can’t do it,” she said. “I have to go in tomorrow.”

  He was aghast. “You can’t go in tomorrow! You have to watch the baby!”

  “I watched the baby today!”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that tomorrow it’s your turn!”

  His mouth fell open. “Who said anything about taking turns?”

  “You did!”

  “But I didn’t mean in the daytime, too!”

  She sat back abruptly and folded her arms. “Oh? I guess you thought you’d married a babysitter then.”

  He sensed a trap. “N-not exactly.”

  “Then you don’t expect me to put my whole life on hold for the next six months?”

  “N-no, I only... That is...” He stopped and licked his lips. “Holy cow, Kendra, they just made me a partner! I can’t go laying out of work now.”

  “But they know what’s happened,” she argued. “Didn’t you tell them about the baby?”

  “Of course. I told them about the baby today. The other partners took me to lunch, and I told them about the baby—and you.”

  “And?”

  He targeted his gaze on his plate. This was not going to play as well as it had the first time. He pulled a deep breath. “And the senior partner said that it was sure a good thing I had you to step in and help out since new partners just naturally work the longest hours and get the most difficult accounts.”

  She looked utterly exasperated. “And it never occurred to any of you that I just might not be right here at your beck and call, did it? Of all the sexist, chauvinistic...”